Bellaitalia Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Heyy. So I'm pretty sure I am demiromantic, but I just want to clear some things up... Basically, I'm curious to know what the majority of aromantics want/do in a relationship. do they like to cuddle, hold hands, kiss? Do they express emotions of love for the other person? Do they buy them gifts/give them flowers? is this solely for romantics? I'm confused because an aromantic asexual to me sounds basically just like having a best friend. so to me it seems as if there is no difference to me. Link to post Share on other sites
PSUtatiana Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I feel like what you just said is romantic. Let me check. An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships. What distinguishes romantic relationships from a non-romantic relationships can vary diversely, but often includes physical connection (holding hands, cuddling, etc.) and monogamous partnership. The aromantic attribute is usually considered to be innate and not a personal choice, just as the lack of sexual attraction is innate to asexuals. It is important to note that aromantics do not lack emotional/personal connection, but simply have no instinctual need to develop connections of a romantic nature. Aromantics can have needs for just as much empathetic support as romantics, but these needs can be fulfilled in a platonic way. It is possible for an aromantic individual to be involved in, and enjoy, a devoted relationship with another person, but these relations are often closer friendships, naturally reflecting the closeness of the two individuals and not a purposely initiated monogamous separation as is often found in romantic couples. Aromantics may experience squishes which are the aromantic or platonic equivalent of a romantic crush. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Heyy. So I'm pretty sure I am demiromantic, but I just want to clear some things up... Basically, I'm curious to know what the majority of aromantics want/do in a relationship. Easy... aromantics don't want to be in a relationship in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Notte stellata Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Basically, I'm curious to know what the majority of aromantics want/do in a relationship. do they like to cuddle, hold hands, kiss? Some do, some don't. Do they express emotions of love for the other person? I think that's possible, but the "love" they experience isn't romantic love. Do they buy them gifts/give them flowers? Possibly, but this is the most useless criterion to distinguish romantics and aromantics IMO. Plenty of romantics don't like such stuff. And yeah, aromantics usually don't desire a romantic relationship, but they can be in one with a romantic partner. Or they can be in platonic relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Moving this thread from Asexual Q&A to A/Romantic Identities. Link to post Share on other sites
Kotoko Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I feel like what you just said is romantic. Let me check. An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships. What distinguishes romantic relationships from a non-romantic relationships can vary diversely, but often includes physical connection (holding hands, cuddling, etc.) and monogamous partnership. The aromantic attribute is usually considered to be innate and not a personal choice, just as the lack of sexual attraction is innate to asexuals. It is important to note that aromantics do not lack emotional/personal connection, but simply have no instinctual need to develop connections of a romantic nature. Aromantics can have needs for just as much empathetic support as romantics, but these needs can be fulfilled in a platonic way. It is possible for an aromantic individual to be involved in, and enjoy, a devoted relationship with another person, but these relations are often closer friendships, naturally reflecting the closeness of the two individuals and not a purposely initiated monogamous separation as is often found in romantic couples. Aromantics may experience squishes which are the aromantic or platonic equivalent of a romantic crush. QFT. The big debate is about what the difference is between a strong platonic love v.s. romantic love. Personally, I wouldn't know. I don't even experience strong platonic love, having no exclusive BFF or whatever. I do have a couple of close friends and a small circle of friends and a wider circle of acquaintances and people I hang out with sometimes, and I am perfectly happy with that. One of my close friends wants to move out from her parents' place and, when I said I was thinking of moving back home, she said we could find a place and split the rent. We are close friends but even still, if that happened, we'd probably just watch anime together or go out for coffee...the usual stuff we already do as friends. I have no desire to make anything more of it. Basically, whoever I become friends with will forever be in the "Friendzone" xD Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I still dont understand why any aromantic would be in a romantic relationship since they by definition to not experience romantic love. Maybe a few do for normalacy, but none of it would be what they want. Aromantics expierience platonicove, which is basiclly friendship. I suppose they might cuddle, give gifts, express emotions with a friend. An aromantic cant have a normal romantic relationship. They'd have to fake romantic attraction or cope with not having it like a romantic with a sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Almagest Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Heyy. So I'm pretty sure I am demiromantic, but I just want to clear some things up... Basically, I'm curious to know what the majority of aromantics want/do in a relationship. Easy... aromantics don't want to be in a relationship in the first place. Not necessarily. I'm aromantic and I would like a relationship if I ever met the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I still dont understand why any aromantic would be in a romantic relationship since they by definition to not experience romantic love. Maybe a few do for normalacy, but none of it would be what they want. Aromantics expierience platonicove, which is basiclly friendship. I suppose they might cuddle, give gifts, express emotions with a friend. An aromantic cant have a normal romantic relationship. They'd have to fake romantic attraction or cope with not having it like a romantic with a sexual. There's different reasons. Sometimes what happens is that one person they feel strong platonic love for reciprocates with romantic love and asks them out, for example. Some aromantics still want a life partner, even though they don't feel romantic attraction (look at queerplatonic partner, for example), and they can happen to have this relationship with someone who is not aromantic. Aromantics can be in romantic relationships just like asexuals often are in sexual relationships. You know? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Basically, I'm curious to know what the majority of aromantics want/do in a relationship. do they like to cuddle, hold hands, kiss? Do they express emotions of love for the other person? Do they buy them gifts/give them flowers? I don't know how much my answer's worth, I'm antiromantic with a (to say the least) unusual definition of romance, who would like to be aromantic. Thus my answer is probably to be be intrinsically skewed quite a bit. But yes, I do (and enjoy doing) all of these with my partner. :) I'm confused because an aromantic asexual to me sounds basically just like having a best friend. so to me it seems as if there is no difference to me. Aromantics can have needs for just as much empathetic support as romantics, but these needs can be fulfilled in a platonic way. [...]It is possible for an aromantic individual to be involved in, and enjoy, a devoted relationship with another person, but these relations are often closer friendships, naturally reflecting the closeness of the two individuals and not a purposely initiated monogamous separation as is often found in romantic couples. I can very much identify with that, yup. I've actually used the word "semi-platonic" for my partnership a bunch of times; if there's any difference between "partner" and "best friend", it's an extremely hazy one at best, IMO. :) monogamous partnership. Now, that one's a big "Hell no" for me. With me, it's poly or not at all... aside from philosophical/spiritual conviction (think "universal love"), it's also on a purely pragmatic level one of the basic strategies for me to try and keep romance out of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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