I'm not sure if I'm aromantic...?

[Demishan]

I have no idea if I'm aromantic or not. I've never had a crush on anyone, ever, guy or girl. I just don't feel the need to get close to someone in an emotional way. I know a lot of my friends go "Oh, he's so sweet!" and I can respect that in a person but it doesn't make me want to have a relationship with them. I'm still interested in people sexually though I've never acted on it, but the romance kind of freaks me out. I just feel really uncomfortable and awkward, the thought of emotional relationships beyond intense friendship is something I just don't get. A guy told me he loved me once and I was flattered but more so I was terrified beyond belief. I don't know how to handle that!

However, this next bit is what's confusing me. I still want to have a partner and a family, someone I can be with. I just don't want to be with them in a romantic way. I'd like to have a really strong friendship with them, like best friends who are there for each other, but not all "I love you, my dearest heart!" or something. A life partner, if you will. I don't know if that still makes me aromantic or not. Also, I want to be physical with someone without the emotional side of things but I don't think I could bring myself to sleep with a complete stranger or someone who didn't care about me as a friend. So I guess I'd only want to be with someone who was a friend.

Ugh. I don't know if that made any sense. I'm really confused. I'm just trying to ask if you think I might be aromantic sexual from what's been said here. Thanks.

[Blunderbuss]

I still want to have a partner and a family, someone I can be with. I just don't want to be with them in a romantic way. I'd like to have a really strong friendship with them, like best friends who are there for each other, but not all "I love you, my dearest heart!" or something. A life partner, if you will. I don't know if that still makes me aromantic or not.

I feel that way too. And I don't know whether I'm aromantic or not either.

But from what you say here, I would consider you aromantic. However, only time can really tell ya. Time and experience.

[Phantasmal Fingers]

I still want to have a partner and a family, someone I can be with. I just don't want to be with them in a romantic way. I'd like to have a really strong friendship with them, like best friends who are there for each other, but not all "I love you, my dearest heart!" or something. A life partner, if you will. I don't know if that still makes me aromantic or not.

You're an innerestin' case, Demishan!

As an aromantic asexual I'd say that - from what you say - you're an aromantic sexual. Not a combination that had ever occured to me as possible I have to admit. Good job I'm not prejudiced or I'd call you a freak! :lol:

But seriously... I wouldn't get too stuck on labels if I were you. After all they're only useful if you choose to wear them yourself, and no-one's saying you can't change them if you wish. Any time you like. Because people change...

Beware, though, of people wo say “people change!” a lot. In my experience the more often they say it the less like it is that they're doing any more than paying lip-service to that statement. Ironically, these are the people who will look aghast if you tell them you have actually changed. :lol: They have everyone down pat (except themselves usually) and don't like it when you try and alter 'their' perception of you. It seems to disturb their tidly arranged view of 'the way things (and people) are'.

Who owns (or 'has', if you prefer) your perception of me? Is it really yours? Or rather - from my point of view - doesit belong or pertain to the you I think you are? After all you wouldn't have this perception of who (you think) I am without me! Would you? So what if I don't claim ownership - or even responsibility for - my perception of you? And what if you reciprocate?

Oh my God! I've just remembered what it's like being a teenager! :lol:

Time fir a cuppa tea...

[Interrobang]

As an aromantic asexual I'd say that - from what you say - you're an aromantic sexual.

I agree with NewMeeble. "Aromantic Sexual" does seem to fit based on your description, but only you can tell which label is best for you.

I still want to have a partner and a family, someone I can be with. I just don't want to be with them in a romantic way. I'd like to have a really strong friendship with them, like best friends who are there for each other, but not all "I love you, my dearest heart!" or something. A life partner, if you will. I don't know if that still makes me aromantic or not. Also, I want to be physical with someone without the emotional side of things but I don't think I could bring myself to sleep with a complete stranger or someone who didn't care about me as a friend. So I guess I'd only want to be with someone who was a friend.

I was looking through the AVENwiki and discovered the word Queerplatonic. (Look here for the description ). That may describe what type of relationship you're looking for.

Welcome to AVEN by the way!

[Guest]

As an aromantic asexual, it sounds to me like you're aromantic. Aromantics have the same need for trust and human contact (not physical) as everyone else, but dont want it in a romantic context.