Jump to content

Any Platonic people out here?


Sir Robbins

Recommended Posts

Sir Robbins

With my asexuality comes another, more interesting type of discussion that I feel fits rather well with my type as well as many others. Platonic relatioships are described as non sexual relationships that focus on the emotional and spiritual connection, rather than physical ones. I, for one, find this to be the ideal relationship that I long for so much. Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference. Many platonic relationships however, do involve some physical intimacy (by choice) that include: hugging, holding hands, kissing and some level of physical touch in a nonsexual way but many do not. It is described as being like a relationship between you and your best friend or a close relative. Anyone else desire this type of relationship? Anyone have comments? Let's go!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference.

I'm not sure I agree with you that the most passionate relationships are platonic ones. Other than that, carry on.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sir Robbins

Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference.

I'm not sure I agree with you that the most passionate relationships are platonic ones. Other than that, carry on.

Fair enough. I had forgotten to add the word emotional or spiritual in front of the word passion.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Exactly. And that's why I was damn happy yesterday at work when a co-worker friend agreed with me I was a "sister" (as opposed to potential person to date, flirt with etc.). He's a ridiculously charming and genuine guy but I ain't interested it the romantics, and it's wonderful to have a guy realize, accept that, and be fine with being "just friends."

Amazon.

Link to post
Share on other sites

being a complete aromantic - I'm all about platonic love. It's the best :D I don't know about passionate, but deep platonic relationships just make life so much more fun without the complexities of a romantic relationship IMHO.

One downside I've noticed tho is that I form stronger bonds with friends and are therefore much more hurt than they are when our respective lives take separate roads. :( Anyone else?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train

With my asexuality comes another, more interesting type of discussion that I feel fits rather well with my type as well as many others. Platonic relatioships are described as non sexual relationships that focus on the emotional and spiritual connection, rather than physical ones. I, for one, find this to be the ideal relationship that I long for so much. Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference. Many platonic relationships however, do involve some physical intimacy (by choice) that include: hugging, holding hands, kissing and some level of physical touch in a nonsexual way but many do not. It is described as being like a relationship between you and your best friend or a close relative. Anyone else desire this type of relationship? Anyone have comments? Let's go!

I can somewhat relate...

One of the most emotionally intense attractions I've ever had developed for a friend who I was incredibly mentally and intellectually compatible with. It felt like we were basically "mindmates" - we'd constantly be having the same thoughts, finishing each other's sentences, etc etc. There was just this incredible "in-sync" feeling I had with her for a while which I never experienced with any of my actual past girlfriends. But - she was married. So basically the way our friendship grew so intense was a bit of an unintentional "emotional affair", and as soon as we realised that it's just getting too much and inappropriate, we confronted it and stepped away.

But looking back on it, it made me realise how it was never really a typical "romantic" thing in the first place. Maybe this is why we managed to get very mentally and emotionally close before it felt inappropriate - because there was never a sense of "we are attracted to each other and actually want to be a couple". It really was completely Platonic, just on a very intense level. Of course, it's hard to say what would have happened if we met each other in a different time and place, when we were both single.

That whole experience (along with learning that I'm demisexual - and not just a weird and broken heterosexual - over the last few months), has sort of muddled my boundaries of what different categories of relationships are "supposed to be". I no longer view life through the lens of "must be in a romantic/sexual pair bond". It's more like I can now accept that there are different kinds of feelings that can be just as intense and important to me as the "full package" that society expects everyone to "settle down" into. One of the possibilities is basically this: a strong platonic relationship that's 99% about deep mental and emotional connecting. That said, I don't think I could marry someone knowing that I'd have to sign away on the possibility of sex for life, but I think this is just my demisexuality speaking - if I was a full ace I don't think I'd really recognise any difference between Platonic and Romantic feelings anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AlekaJordan

A platonic relationship is exactly what I would want. It would be the ideal and perfect type of relationship for this mostly aromantic girl. This is the type of relationship I feel I somewhat have with my best friend (though I would never say that to her!). Both of us are aromantic asexuals and it does seem that a platonic relationship is what we have, though, to be honest, how can I tell that for sure when she lives half a continent away from me? Anyways, I got a bit off topic there, platonic relationships would be the only kind I'd ever want.

Link to post
Share on other sites

With my asexuality comes another, more interesting type of discussion that I feel fits rather well with my type as well as many others. Platonic relatioships are described as non sexual relationships that focus on the emotional and spiritual connection, rather than physical ones. I, for one, find this to be the ideal relationship that I long for so much. Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference. Many platonic relationships however, do involve some physical intimacy (by choice) that include: hugging, holding hands, kissing and some level of physical touch in a nonsexual way but many do not. It is described as being like a relationship between you and your best friend or a close relative. Anyone else desire this type of relationship? Anyone have comments? Let's go!

Been longing for this kind of relationship for quite some time. Just nobody else around here feels the same.

I almost want to date you for posting this. (Relax, kidding.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

A platonic relationship would be perfect for me. I dont see how it will happen since i live in a small country, with few people, who mostly want the typical married with kids looking perfect for the rest of the world to see kind of relationship. We like to belive that we have free will and dont care what other people think, but the truth is, we care to much.

But anyways, if it do happens, where is the line between platonic relationship and just friends???? I have a best friend, we spend a lot of time together, I will not have a platonic relationship with him, but if i was in a relationship would it be cheating to still spend time with my best friend?

Link to post
Share on other sites
honor is all

I always wanted a sister :(

I always wanted a brother :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Silvernight

being a complete aromantic - I'm all about platonic love. It's the best :D I don't know about passionate, but deep platonic relationships just make life so much more fun without the complexities of a romantic relationship IMHO.

One downside I've noticed tho is that I form stronger bonds with friends and are therefore much more hurt than they are when our respective lives take separate roads. :( Anyone else?

This. There was a time when my best friend, who's now married and has a kid, almost never answered my skype messages (and it's not like they were frequent, I kept it once in a couple months or so), and did not try to keep in touch at all, I felt terrible for quite some time. Like I was betrayed and dumped or something. Probably the kind of emotional anguish that people experience when they break up with their girlfriend or boyfriend. And there more cases similar to this one, so I understand where you're coming from. I don't make friends that easily but when I do, I get very attached to them, so when they go away I'm always very sad. But I have a very strong urge to form close friendships, so eventually I start pining for more of the same, even though I know that those friendships are very likely to end the moment the other person creates a family.

Speaking about relationships, yes, a deep platonic relationship is exactly what I desire.

Link to post
Share on other sites

being a complete aromantic - I'm all about platonic love. It's the best :D I don't know about passionate, but deep platonic relationships just make life so much more fun without the complexities of a romantic relationship IMHO.

One downside I've noticed tho is that I form stronger bonds with friends and are therefore much more hurt than they are when our respective lives take separate roads. :( Anyone else?

This. There was a time when my best friend, who's now married and has a kid, almost never answered my skype messages (and it's not like they were frequent, I kept it once in a couple months or so), and did not try to keep in touch at all, I felt terrible for quite some time. Like I was betrayed and dumped or something. Probably the kind of emotional anguish that people experience when they break up with their girlfriend or boyfriend. And there more cases similar to this one, so I understand where you're coming from. I don't make friends that easily but when I do, I get very attached to them, so when they go away I'm always very sad. But I have a very strong urge to form close friendships, so eventually I start pining for more of the same, even though I know that those friendships are very likely to end the moment the other person creates a family.

Speaking about relationships, yes, a deep platonic relationship is exactly what I desire.

Exactly. I recently broke up with my SO and emotionally it was almost insignificant compared to the hurt I've had after watching a friend drift away or suddenly turn their back on me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Platonic relatioships are described as non sexual relationships that focus on the emotional and spiritual connection, rather than physical ones. I, for one, find this to be the ideal relationship that I long for so much. Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference.

thank you for starting this thread. i had looked for it for years, and not finding it i did not register here. this time i registered exactly because of the same reason i did not register in the past. it just "happened" i be here at the right time. God Knew.

Link to post
Share on other sites

being a complete aromantic - I'm all about platonic love. It's the best :D I don't know about passionate, but deep platonic relationships just make life so much more fun without the complexities of a romantic relationship IMHO.

One downside I've noticed tho is that I form stronger bonds with friends and are therefore much more hurt than they are when our respective lives take separate roads. :( Anyone else?

I don't know if I am a "complete aromantic" but I too form strong bonds with friends and when they move on it hurts, being at university at the moment, I really don't want it too end as I know I properly won't see many of them again :( but who knows only time will tell.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sir Robbins

Platonic relatioships are described as non sexual relationships that focus on the emotional and spiritual connection, rather than physical ones. I, for one, find this to be the ideal relationship that I long for so much. Connecting through emotions and spirits creates a deeper, more passionate love without sexual or physical interference.

thank you for starting this thread. i had looked for it for years, and not finding it i did not register here. this time i registered exactly because of the same reason i did not register in the past. it just "happened" i be here at the right time. God Knew.

You are welcome! :) Timing has a certain value in many people's lives and I'm glad it worked for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

Exactly. I recently broke up with my SO and emotionally it was almost insignificant compared to the hurt I've had after watching a friend drift away or suddenly turn their back on me.

I feel the same way actually; I had a very close friend who suddenly turned his back on me and started to generally ignore me. My friend's twin sister pulled the same exact stunt on my twin sister, and the combination of those two circumstances left me more emotionally vulnerable than any breakup I've ever experienced.

I've been in plenty of relationships where my intentions were Platonic, but the boyfriend usually had some sort of physical desire. That's probably why I lost interest in every single one of those relationships. I only discovered the concept of asexuality this year, so at least now why the physical elements of a relationship make me uneasy. Two years ago, I decided to just not have relationships until I understood what I wanted from one and I haven't desired one since.

Perhaps in the future, I will want a relationship again, and if I end up wanting any kind of relationship, it will be a platonic one. However, for now, all I desire is close friendship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oooh, yes, me! To have someone you could connect to on an intellectual level, share ideas and theories and findings and so much more.

Hahaha, I remember when I thought every relationship was like this and I got a completely shocked and suprised facial expressions from my friends when I explained it's what I want and asked them, expectantly, surely they all want that too...

Ah, it was before I even found AVEN... Hahah

Though, I must say that it gets a bit depressing after a while because I have to constantly remind myself not everyone is like that. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
seinneadair

One downside I've noticed tho is that I form stronger bonds with friends and are therefore much more hurt than they are when our respective lives take separate roads. :( Anyone else?

I completely agree with this - I care way more about my friendships than most of my friends do (lack of contact with family probably plays some role in this too, so it's probably not just because I don't have a romantic relationship), so when plans don't work out or they forget to do something it hurts me a lot more than it hurts them.

Edited to say: Actually this is really good timing as others have commented - my 2 best friends right now are kind of drifting away and they don't understand why it upsets me that they suddenly don't seem to have any interest in spending time with me (for no particular reason), and I think its because the friendship is worth so much more to me than it is to them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think i'm coming round to the idea of being aromantic. I want to have someone who I'm close to but not someone i'd like to call 'my other half'. The things mentioned in the opening post are things that I'd love at this moment. If I could be totally selfish then I'd want a close friend to share things with, where things never went further than close friendship but despite this the person was still dedicated solely to me and always put me first. That's not going to happen and neither would it be fair to expect that of someone but I don't think I need to be loved just wanted

Link to post
Share on other sites
RobotGeek

I think I'm a romantic, but platonic relationships are a big part of my life. Many people are close to me in the ways you described but we aren't "dating" or in a relationship or whatever you want to call it. It's just being really close. Both with people of the opposite sex and people from the same sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is my ideal relationship as well... :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Small_Face

A Platonic relationship would be ideal to me, something to aim for, eh? Aha!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Storycraft

This is exactly what I want! At this point in my life I'm pretty sure I identify as grayromantic asexual, as I get romantic crushes on occasion but never really feel a need to act on them. If I could have an ideal relationship, it would be with a best friend who I was very emotionally intimate with--very much like a family member, as several people have described already.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...