The Great WTF Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Warning: this was typed on a phone and I'm too lazy to proofread. Apologies, thus, for any ramblyness and typos. I need to share this somewhere where I won't have to endure "oooh I told you he's in love!" or other such nonsense. I finally have a (semi-) stable job and am able to move back into my own apartment. For the last seven months I've been staying with my boyfriend-like-creature, Gin, in order to conserve money while I look for a job. It worked well for both of us as he'd just kicked out his ex and knew roughly as much about taking care of himself as the average ten year old. He fed and sheltered me and I taught him how to pay bills, balance his checking account, drive a car, and generally act like a functional adult instead of a pitiful manchild. Haven't quite gotten him to cook for himself yet, but I didn't have much hope for that anyway. We work well together and have always planned to continue our give and take relationship even after I move out because we simply work well together and enjoy a lot of the same things. Down the road we were considering getting a place together once we had decent enough jobs to pay for a house and he'd grown out if his (annoying) need to always have his friends around (which is the primary reason I will not continue living with him and his roommates.) Even though we're both aromantic and generally only use the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend for the sake of conveniece in explaining what the hell we are together (and the fact that I hate the phrase queerplatonic. He'd probably laugh hysterically if I ever mentioned it.) Last week, we found out that Gin's going to be released from the lease on his apartment six months early. Immediately, one of his roommates found them another (more expensive) place nearby and made plans for all six of us to move there. When she announced that I'd now be expected to pay rent (I've been living free in return for being the household bookkeeper/cook/caretaker of animals), I decided to jump ship and go back to my own apartment permanently. I expected Gin to shrug and continue living with them because that was always the plan. Instead, he says, "In that case, you guys might want to find another roommate. I think I want to move in with Meg." Admittedly, I've been trying to get him to do this for months. My apartment is huge, in a good neighborhood, and nearly free (I just have to pay the HoA dues and electric bill, roughly $200 a month) but he didn't want to be that far from work and his friends without having a car. Now, out of the blue, he's decided he wants to. I'm kind of in a state of shock. I'm not sure if this is him growing out of his dependence on his friends or just having a panic attack because he's going to be forced to be totally self-sufficient if I leave, but I'm thoroughly amused by it (and kind of stupidly happy.) I like having a thing to play video games with and I like the positive effects he has on me, but I was perfectly content returning to living by myself. This is a shocking but pleasant surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
cleuchtturm Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Not gonna lie, when I read the title, I thought you would be announcing an engagement. I'm also very tired. Please don't shoot me. On topic: Woohoo! Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 Not gonna lie, when I read the title, I thought you would be announcing an engagement. I'm also very tired. Please don't shoot me. On topic: Woohoo! Pfft. If he dared propose to me when he doesn't have a decent job or his driver's license yet, I'd shoot him on the spot. If we did decide to get married, it'd only be for the sake of seeing our two (very, very different) families stuck in a room together (bloodshed might ensue) and the gifts. Weddings are a great way to get all the household stuff you need for free and Apollo knows we'll need it if we ever go through with that plan to get a house together. I am a horrible human being. I know this. I revel in it. Link to post Share on other sites
cleuchtturm Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Not gonna lie, when I read the title, I thought you would be announcing an engagement. I'm also very tired. Please don't shoot me. On topic: Woohoo! Pfft. If he dared propose to me when he doesn't have a decent job or his driver's license yet, I'd shoot him on the spot. If we did decide to get married, it'd only be for the sake of seeing our two (very, very different) families stuck in a room together (bloodshed might ensue) and the gifts. Weddings are a great way to get all the household stuff you need for free and Apollo knows we'll need it if we ever go through with that plan to get a house together. I am a horrible human being. I know this. I revel in it. You're not a horrible person. You are practical. Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Honestly, I also thought that there would be an engagement would be announced. But, congratulations! The news is still pretty awesome. I'm happy for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Do you respect him as a person? "I taught him how to pay bills, balance his checking account, drive a car, and generally act like a functional adult instead of a pitiful manchild. Haven't quite gotten him to cook for himself yet, but I didn't have much hope for that anyway" "I'm not sure if this is him growing out of his dependence on his friends or just having a panic attack because he's going to be forced to be totally self-sufficient" Even when he does something you desired your still second guessing his sincerity, now I don't know anything about his history but that just further drives the point home to me. Just that term thrown out there put the idea to my mind. If you don't why would you want to be with someone you don't respect? If you do then great, but I felt the need to pose that question. Just something to think about, I feel if you can't respect him as an individual then you probably shouldn't continue a "relationship" with him. Link to post Share on other sites
bookcase Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Not gonna lie, when I read the title, I thought you would be announcing an engagement. I'm also very tired. Please don't shoot me. On topic: Woohoo! Pfft. If he dared propose to me when he doesn't have a decent job or his driver's license yet, I'd shoot him on the spot. If we did decide to get married, it'd only be for the sake of seeing our two (very, very different) families stuck in a room together (bloodshed might ensue) and the gifts. Weddings are a great way to get all the household stuff you need for free and Apollo knows we'll need it if we ever go through with that plan to get a house together. I am a horrible human being. I know this. I revel in it. :lol: :lol: Sounds reasonable *giggles* Back on topic: Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 Do you respect him as a person? "I taught him how to pay bills, balance his checking account, drive a car, and generally act like a functional adult instead of a pitiful manchild. Haven't quite gotten him to cook for himself yet, but I didn't have much hope for that anyway" "I'm not sure if this is him growing out of his dependence on his friends or just having a panic attack because he's going to be forced to be totally self-sufficient" Even when he does something you desired your still second guessing his sincerity, now I don't know anything about his history but that just further drives the point home to me. Just that term thrown out there put the idea to my mind. If you don't why would you want to be with someone you don't respect? If you do then great, but I felt the need to pose that question. Just something to think about, I feel if you can't respect him as an individual then you probably shouldn't continue a "relationship" with him. Yes, I respect him. I wouldn't want him in my life at all if I did not. He WAS a manchild when I first met him (at 19 years old and having not lived at home for almost two years, most people would at the very least have a basic grasp of the things I described. He did not even know the difference between a debit card and a credit card, both of which he possessed thanks to his ex boyfriend.) and the primary reason he invited me to stay with him when I lost my job was because he truly did not know how to be self-sufficient and wanted me to help him (but was too proud to say so for a long time.) He's grown up a lot in the last few months but not so much that I am not going to question his motives for wanting to move in with me. There's a big difference between not respecting a person and knowing them well enough to question it when they do something unexpected and out of character. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Good to hear :) Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Hmmm I can see both sides of this. but i would tend to think with the information that was given that it is more that he saw that you are a positive force in his life and that he would rather move in with you then to keep living with the people that he is with out you. just my two cents i hope they help Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I'd call this kind of an engagement. He wants to live with you. You've been chosen! Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 Hmmm I can see both sides of this. but i would tend to think with the information that was given that it is more that he saw that you are a positive force in his life and that he would rather move in with you then to keep living with the people that he is with out you. just my two cents i hope they help I like to think so, too, but I do have a very cynical sense of humor when it comes to that boy. Even when I know his motives are pure I tend to tease him as though his motives are much more sinister. I suppose it's a side effect of how our relationship started and mutual love of terrorizing each other. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Starr Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I was afraid for a moment you guys broke up from the title. That is so cute he wants to move in with you not to mention very sweet Link to post Share on other sites
Goldberry Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I'm still laughing at the term "boyfriend-like-creature" LMAO! Also that you have a "thing" to play video games with. Perhaps you are a mom-like-creature for him. Also, cheers to you for having the patience to instruct a man-child. I think that makes you a great person, because I don't think I'd do that much. Then again, I'm a bit of a child myself, and I have to look out for my own... Link to post Share on other sites
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