Guest Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 A friend and I were walking to clasd and she begins to discuss what sort of man she needs. At this point I realise the topic will soon turn to me. When it does, I answer "I dont need a man" and try not to laugh since thats the beginning of every Disney Princess story I remember. She responds that it's because I am a man, then pauses and suggests I need another woman. Finally she says that I probably do need a man, after all, so and so did. I told her Im not getting married or having kids (as close to "I am asexual and aromantic " as I was willing to get then) and she insisted that that was what so and so said, so I'd end up like her. I also overheard my mom telling my sister she thought I was just saying things when I said I had no intention of marrying a few days ago. My sister seemed more inclined to believe me. Another funny thing my mom said 'I think we would know by now if you were gay' after making clear that it was cool if I was. (Im not certain she wasnt trying to knock on the wrong closet door there) Since, you know, you know my sexuality... that and 'i just have a feeling you cant like both...' (about bisexuality) So in the eyes of some of the closest people in my life, I'm more likely to be transgendered or homosexual than asexual, because some person they know said similar things and ended up sexual. Yay... Link to post Share on other sites
Beanwire Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 There are players and there are the referees. Link to post Share on other sites
noysoffer Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Asexuality is something that is relatively unknown to the mainstream, whereas everyone knows what is homosexuality and trans-gender, and therefore, people prefer to define something that they don't know through something that they know. When asexuality will be a sexuality on all of those surveys, etc., your loved ones will be able to accept you. Link to post Share on other sites
NEETfreak Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I don't really have any advice to give, unfortunately. But I the title of this thread made me think of this song: Link to post Share on other sites
1Eleven1 Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 You are right, you don't need a man or a woman in your life. I'm sorry that other people that you would hope would be on your side don't see that, but I'm glad that you can stay confident in what you know about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
DragonGirl Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Another funny thing my mom said 'I think we would know by now if you were gay' after making clear that it was cool if I was. My mum has kinda the same reactions. I'll make a comment and she'll ask me if I'm gay, to which I usually reply in the negative. Truth is I don't really know! I know I'm Asexy and I know I appreciate beauty in both males and females, but I can't seem to see myself in a relationship anytime soon. I may be aromantic, but to be perfectly honest I don't know cause I'll also see/read some relationships and think 'I want that, or at least the PG version'! I think personally my mother thinks I'm being different or rather, trying to look cool or be like someone famous or something. She's part of the 'I was like that, you'll know when you find the right person' brigade, and frankly it pisses me off that the people who're supposed to accept you unconditionally don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Junebug03 Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Im right there with you... I have always had this "I do not need a man" idea? Mentality? Attitude? Whatever it is called, I have always had it. I do not see why all my friends want a guy or girl, that makes no sense to me. I have been called gay and to my mom this breaks her heart, but when I told her I was asexual she was like "You will change your mind" which makes no sense since she now has the "I don't need a man" attitude. As far as Disney is concerned, even though they all start like that, Mulan is my favorite because she seems to stick closest to the "I do not need a man" thing. You do not need a man or woman! You a strong person. You got this. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Im right there with you... I have always had this "I do not need a man" idea? Mentality? Attitude? Whatever it is called, I have always had it. I do not see why all my friends want a guy or girl, that makes no sense to me. I have been called gay and to my mom this breaks her heart, but when I told her I was asexual she was like "You will change your mind" which makes no sense since she now has the "I don't need a man" attitude. As far as Disney is concerned, even though they all start like that, Mulan is my favorite because she seems to stick closest to the "I do not need a man" thing. You do not need a man or woman! You a strong person. You got this. :) I actually dont care for Mulan, since it creates the idea that you have to act like a man to not need a man. That and I think running off to fight was a dumb move. Had she faked her father's death, I would have respected her. Link to post Share on other sites
StefG Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I don't need a man. Lol, I used to say that to my mom, when she was nagging me about if I found a man already. Now I know the truth is, I don't need a sexual man, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Jay M Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 You certainly don't need a man. I have been single my entire life, and no one has confronted me about it. Then again, who knows what they might be thinking or saying behind my back. I have told people around me that I don't desire to get married or have kids, and most are very accepting. Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Although I am heteroromantic, I do not need a man either. Always been single, and that's the way I want it. People seem to assume that I have one, though. Why, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Naru Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I've had a couple of long stretches of being in relationships with men. I'm now on a long stretch of being single. I much prefer singledom. There isn't much I gain from having a man that I couldn't do without one. The only thing I do miss is having someone to cuddle with at night - and I live with my parents and sleep in a single bed, so I wouldn't be able to do that even if I had someone to do it with. Link to post Share on other sites
WaspCeo Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I've never understand people who say: "you just need a man," or "you just need a woman." I have strong feminist friends who are convinced that they need a man, or sex, because, we, as beings MUST HAVE SEX OMG!! I just don't understand this, normally rational people completely controlled by their genitals. I suppose those who are don't understand us who aren't. We live in a world where a person can survive on their own just fine, I'm pretty sure we aren't living in 1860. Women can own land, drive cars, vote, and kill spider. ON. THEIR. OWN. Amazing. I can ovulate and do my own taxes, look out world, here I come! Next time someone says: "you need a man." I am going to ask them: "to do what?" Haaa I think I took this away from asexuality, sorry 'bout that. Link to post Share on other sites
Marquis25 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I've never understand people who say: "you just need a man," or "you just need a woman." I have strong feminist friends who are convinced that they need a man, or sex, because, we, as beings MUST HAVE SEX OMG!! I just don't understand this, normally rational people completely controlled by their genitals. I suppose those who are don't understand us who aren't. We live in a world where a person can survive on their own just fine, I'm pretty sure we aren't living in 1860. Women can own land, drive cars, vote, and kill spider. ON. THEIR. OWN. Amazing. I can ovulate and do my own taxes, look out world, here I come! Next time someone says: "you need a man." I am going to ask them: "to do what?" Haaa I think I took this away from asexuality, sorry 'bout that. I hate it when people use feminism as a reason for why other people should have sex. Yes, the idea that women have sexual urges and needs too is an important part of feminism, but does that mean that all women should be running around having sex all the time? Of course not. Another important part of feminism is that women aren't property and have the right to not have sex with their husbands. Link to post Share on other sites
WaspCeo Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I hate it when people use feminism as a reason for why other people should have sex. Yes, the idea that women have sexual urges and needs too is an important part of feminism, but does that mean that all women should be running around having sex all the time? Of course not. Another important part of feminism is that women aren't property and have the right to not have sex with their husbands. God damn right. Sexual liberation is great, wonderful, but that's not the only great thing that happened from the woman's movement. :( I don't want to be a wet blanket but we shouldn't forget everything else in the moment of glee that comes when we realize that women don't get stoned any more for not being virgins. Link to post Share on other sites
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