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How to deal with the future


Shenhua

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Hey. I haven't been on here in a long time... But I was thinking today...

I'm asexual. I'm not exactly sure about my romantic orientation. I seem to lean towards aromanticism most of the time, but I am occasionally romantically attracted to someone. My problem is that I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I want a romantic or semi-romantic relationship. But one without sex. I just want someone who would be there for me and support me -- a person I could support in return. And I just feel like I can never have that. I know I could technically search for another asexual with the same feelings, but I feel like the odds aren't very good of finding someone who feels the same way and with whom I'm compatible.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense; I'm very sleepy right now.

~Shenhua

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Yeah, I feel like this sometimes too...Can't really give any advice but yeah, you aren't alone.

:cake: :cake:

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

Someone to be with that isn't necessarily a romantic interest? So a partner that isn't a "partner?" Interesting. I kind of feel this way, but I'd like to have about 5 or 6 of these people :P and I guess that's if I'm trying to restrain myself from wanting too many people. I may be polyamourous :unsure:

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Touchofinsight

Hey. I haven't been on here in a long time... But I was thinking today...

I'm asexual. I'm not exactly sure about my romantic orientation. I seem to lean towards aromanticism most of the time, but I am occasionally romantically attracted to someone. My problem is that I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I want a romantic or semi-romantic relationship. But one without sex. I just want someone who would be there for me and support me -- a person I could support in return. And I just feel like I can never have that. I know I could technically search for another asexual with the same feelings, but I feel like the odds aren't very good of finding someone who feels the same way and with whom I'm compatible.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense; I'm very sleepy right now.

~Shenhua

I feel like this often at times, I can feel lonely but I know in the end I have to be comfortable with my self and love my self before I can expect to be compatible with a partner. When your seeking out your relationship don't look at people like you would want to have a relationship with them, take it easy and be friends everything else will come along naturally. Relationships are created by bonds between people, sometimes they are only friends, sometimes you go a little farther, but as those bonds grow stronger the more we are willing to do for each other. I was married and am divorced but we went through the whole marriage without intercourse we eventually wanted two separate things and while I can't rule out that sex wasn't a part of it, it did last a long time.

It is possible it just isn't easy being asexual in a relationship. At the very least you have a community here, if you need a place to vent or talk feel free to PM me.

Best of luck

Touch!

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Actually there's a bunch of people who feel the same. There're also aromantics who are in relationships of sorts, just take a look at The Aromantic thread (directing you to the penultimate page). Lack of romantic attraction doesn't mean one can't wish for companionship or partnership. As for spending life alone, don't worry about that. There're asexual people who have already found their companions, who they have a strong bond with, be it romantic or aromantic. Chances are, you too will come across such a person. I wouldn't waste time waiting, though. The world is so full of things to discover and enjoy.

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Lady Heartilly

I feel like that all the time! I used to want to focus primarily on my career and put romance second, but once I got a pretty stable job, I realized that it gets boring when you just do the same thign day after day. Now all I want is someone I can come home to and talk to about my day and listen to him talk about his and then snuggle and relax and help each other forget our problems before falling asleep in each other's arms. :wub: I did have that for a few months, and it was wonderful, but I got dumped because he felt guilty for wanting more. :( I'm afraid this is going to happen every single time, and even if I do meet another ace, we may not be as compatible. I broke up with the only ace I was in a relationship with because he made me too depressed. It seems like there's no hope. I feel like sexuals have it easy because they can date anyone they want, and if it doesn't work out, there will always be someone else closeby. That's not the case for us. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life. :(

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