what is this feeling so sudden and new?

[dynamic_wallflower]

Let me just start by saying that if you got the Wicked reference in the title, 2 points for you! I also want to apologize if this post is confusing, but because I'm confused, I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts.

Okay, so I've always known I was asexual before I even knew the word to describe it. I've struggled with defining myself romantically, though. If I'm honest with myself, I guess I would say that I've always considered myself aromantic as well or sometimes heteroromantic if I felt like trying to fit in (which wasn't often). Until a few days ago. See, there's this girl in one of my classes...

I met her about a year and a half ago and knew she was cool, but didn't really think much about it. Now she's in one of my classes, which means I've gotten to know her a little better. She's so freaking awesome. She's smart, funny, witty, and since I'm sort of a smart aleck in this class, she goes along with it. She doesn't know many people in the class, and since she met me before, she'll sit next to me and talk to me and stuff. Did I mention how amazing she is?

I want to talk with her and spend more time with her. I want to look at her for a long time because she's beautiful in an unconventional way. And maybe I even want to touch her. I don't mean sexually. Just...to touch her crazy, curly hair or hold her when she's having a bad day. That's weird for me to say because normally I don't like touching people and I don't like them touching me.

What the heck is this? Is it a crush or a squish or something else? It's certainly nothing I've ever felt before. Any thoughts you guys have on this would be appreciated because I don't understand it at all!

[Flora]

Yay I get 2 points!! (and thanks btw for getting the song stuck in my head)

That does sound confusing. I have a dear friend that I feel almost the same way with. It took me a long time to realize that she is basically a sister to me, goes way beyond best friends, and I too don't really have an appropriate name for it. We do go to the movies and curl up against each other randomly, nothing romantic or sexual about it at all, I think it's just nice to be physically close to somebody. Gah! Now I am getting confused...

I say squish because it leaves room for the whatevers that can happen and is much softer.

Moral of the story... you aren't the only one. :D

[timepatty]

Whoo! I get two points as well!

It could very well be a crush or squish... maybe ask yourself how you would feel if they went out with another person? it might not give a definite answer, but it could help.

These things are confusing, and take time to figure out. Don't feel pressured to label it right away. ^_^

[dynamic_wallflower]

It could very well be a crush or squish... maybe ask yourself how you would feel if they went out with another person? it might not give a definite answer, but it could help.

hmmm...what do you mean? if it bothered me if she went out with another person then it'd be a crush, and if not, it'd be a squish?

[guitar sunshine]

It's understandable to want to be close to specific people. With a few of my friends i'm very affectionate, cuddling and holding hands when we walk. Humans bond through touch, it's a part of nature. I say go for it :) if simple touch like hair is enough, then let it be, if you feel that the emotional connection and desire to be closer is stronger than you've probably got a squish on her. Sorry for my bad writing, it's almost 5am :P

"i felt the moment i laid eyes on you" -wicked

[Cloudmint]

I feel that about my best female friends! And an old male friend. Like I just wanna hug them, hold hands, and be close all of the time. Which makes me question my motives, but I'm not interested in them and wouldn't want to kiss them. (or anything further) And then I get afraid that I'm being clingy, then I get afraid that they might think I'm interested in them, and I'm just a nervous wreck. What would that be called? (the first part)

[Library Cat]

Think about what you'd imagine a future with them in your life would be like. Would you be besties, or would you be more? That's how I can tell the difference. If I have a squish, my future with them is something I imagine as being close but independent, going shopping, and playing games. If I have a crush, I tend to fantasize more about cuddling during a movie, petting each other's hair, and being in the same house. Also, I tend to be more open and relaxed around a squish, and private around a crush, but that may just be me.

I actually have a squish AND a crush going on at the same time now, so that's how I know. >.< They're both teachers!

[Midnight Lady]

It's a good advice not to put labels right away. :) But all humans tend to... It is just the way we do...