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The Grey-A resource thread


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I’ve decided that we need a resource thread to increase grey-a visibility and to help other grey-as/allies/partners/etc to find links that could help them. Also some definitions are included in the bottom and if I miss any definitions or links please tell me.

Definitions:

Demisexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming an emotional bond with their partner

Grey A- A person who is in the grey area between sexual and asexual.

UPDATE: Now we have a forum for grey-as, demisexuals and allies here.

More edits: Moved and restickied.

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I'm just going to post this here in case anyone hasn't seen it yet...

I started a poll to see if grays, demisexuals, and semisexuals can have our own subforum of AVEN.

To vote in the poll, click the link below. For more information, scroll past the poll to the first post of the thread. There are a plethora of links to discussion threads where it was heavily discussed before creating the poll, as well as a detailed explanation of what a subforum would look like.

: : : : : : PLEASE VOTE: GRAY SUBFORUM POLL : : : : : :

The poll will close on Saturday, August 27, 2011 at approximately 1 PM, Pacific Time.

Thank you!

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  • 3 months later...

I know no one's been in here in a while, but I think I may be a grey-a...

But in all the (ridiculously complex) talk about being a grey, I've not heard of anything like what I deal with. I find that I am attracted to someone but only via the eye and the mind. For example, a very handsome, well-dressed man walks by and I think, "Wow...". I don't get physically attracted, I just get excited because he's pretty! Same thing with girls. I see a well-built, perfectly eye-pleasing woman and I think, "Work of art." Again, it doesn't make me want to jump their bones, but I do, on occasion, find myself feeling very glad they walked into my field of vision.

But, when it gets out of my head and into reality, I suddenly lose interest in that person. I feel nothing sexual and I have no desire to have sex. Rarely, do I ever feel the same in reality as I do in my head. Is this considered a grey trait? And if so, does anyone know where I can get more info on this? I've trolled the webs, but no one seems to really get what I'm trying to say...

I need links! I am on the brink of discovery! ;)

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  • 1 month later...
PurpleFireSuperNova

I don't know where you can get more info. But I think I know what you mean and I feel the same (I think).

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I think I've finally realized that I'm a grey-A/demi sexual (is it the same thing?). I always needed lots of romance in order to want sex, and even then, it was more for my husband's benefit. Once I learned he had a porn habit (after many years of assuming we shared the same heterosexual orientation), romance and sex feel completely unrelated to me. I still want romance, but have no interest in (and am uncomfortable with) sex. Looking back, I realize that my friends always wondered why I don't even notice other men in a sexual way, and I figured it was simply because I'm a one-man woman. In reality, I suppose it's due to being demi sexual. Interesting insight after 25 years of marriage!

Mari

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  • 4 weeks later...

For me, I definitely feel attracted to men not to women although I see them as the more beautiful gender. I'm confused what this attraction to men consists of. It isn't sexual. I don't want to rip his clothes off and go make out. I just feel so damn drawn to someone. There is so much loneliness in my life. I feel disconnected because there is this constant thinking that you only get something from someone if you give, i.e. sex. I wish I could turn my heart off and not have romantic feelings. Grrrrr.....

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