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The grey-a thread


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So the last thread had the ability to get a little cluttered so I think having two seemed like a good idea. The other thread can be used for an educational tool for others while this one can be used to get to know each other and educate ourselves and talk amongst each other about our issues.

In short, the main goal is to get a pinned resource thread somewhere, so that all of these threads can be found in one place.

Also

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Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT THE THREAD THAT IM TALKING ABOUT PINNING!!!

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I guess we could talk our sexualities in general and just be like "yay, we're here"

I've mentioned it before that I've experienced sexual attraction without intrinsic sexual desire. To me, any decision to have sex involves some form of desire (except things like rape of course) so I guess extrinsic desire is the best way to explain why I would be sexual.

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I'm hella busy these days, so it's been hard to keep track of this huge gray-A movement that's been going on. I've been wanting to post on the other thread and answer some questions, but I only have a few hours of free time on any given day.

Anywho, hi, I'm here. I'm straddling a fairly hazy line myself, and I'm not sure what box to put myself in. For now, gray-A sounds pretty good.

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I am on my nook color tablet at the moment, so writing anything lenghty is a bit tedious. Plus there is no spellcheck, so bear with me.

Anyway, I just wanted to also pop my head in and say hello :)

I identify as demisexual. I've only ever felt sexually attracted to one person and that person is the only person I've ever been in love with (and still am for that matter) He just so happens to also be a demisexual. Before we met we both identified as asexual. Neither of us had ever been in love, or been in a relationship, before we met each other.

I had experienced "crushes" before meeting my husband tho'. Even if not many. None of those crushes ever developed into anything and it was purely onesided. First two were when I was extremely young, so I doubt even if I had gotten more emotionally attached I would have developed sexual attraction. The third however was in my midtwenties but even if I felt a crush on this girl, there was still no connection between that and wanting sex. We never became more than superficial friends however and I now feel that if we had gotten closer then sexual attraction would more than likely have developed...

So yeah, anyway, that's that. Hope I made some sense and I hope I didn't bore anyone to death...:unsure:

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Oh god, where to begin with embarrassing moments...I'm full of them :lol:

I once went hiking and the ground was...muddy. Long story short, I fell on my butt and got mud all over my back :wacko:

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I've got one:

It was the last day of 6th grade and we were having a big graduation assembly thing. I was dressed up all cute because they were going to give me the Student of the Year award. Unfortunately, during the assembly all us students had to sit cross-legged on the ground and my entire right leg fell asleep. The big moment came and I had to limp up to the stage in front of the whole school with people pointing and whispering "what's wrong with her?"

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Hello there, I'm also gray-a, but I identify with asexuality much more than sexuality (in that I'm on the low end of anything you might consider sexuality and would almost certainly not be willing to actually have sex, even if I was in love.) That's because the "sexual" attraction that I feel, if that's even what it is (an attraction that is separate from romantic, emotional, and sensual attraction, which I do experience in non-sexual ways), is somewhere between non-sexual attractions and sexual attractions. I might even call it WTF attraction. I've explained it as being very watered down sexual attraction that is not ultimately something I'd act on, and even wrote an essay on it here: EDIT: Posts are gone.

I also experience... something through what I've come to call "vicarrying" (from the word "vicarious"), which is basically feeling the attraction that a character feels as a result of connecting to the character through reading or watching the movie/show/whatever that they're in. It's that feeling of "becoming" another person when you get immersed in a fictional world. When I'm "them", I feel things (albeit watered down) that I don't feel as myself. It's sort of a fancy way of explaining fantasizing that is appealing within the fantasy, but when it comes to me as a person, I'm still pretty asexual. I explained it a little better here: EDIT: Posts are gone.

I've seen people with more "sexual attraction" than me identify as asexual, so I feel justified in considering myself asexual and gray-a. I identify as gray-a on what I'd consider a technicality, because in the end, when I actually seriously think about having sex with a real person, I'm semi-repulsed and/or just don't want to.

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I identify as demisexual. I've only ever felt sexually attracted to one person and that person is the only person I've ever been in love with.

Same here.

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I also experience... something through what I've come to call "vicarrying" (from the word "vicarious"), which is basically feeling the attraction that a character feels as a result of connecting to the character through reading or watching the movie/show/whatever that they're in. It's that feeling of "becoming" another person when you get immersed in a fictional world. When I'm "them", I feel things (albeit watered down) that I don't feel as myself. It's sort of a fancy way of explaining fantasizing that is appealing within the fantasy, but when it comes to me as a person, I'm still pretty asexual. I explained it a little better here: http://violentopposites.tumblr.com/post/7252121267/the-30-day-asexuality-challenge-day-1.

^THIS a million times. I totally do this all the time, but I don't really feel the sexual attraction as myself in real life. It's always mediated through the character or story. Also, I love the term "vicarrying", thank you for giving it a name.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I also experience... something through what I've come to call "vicarrying" (from the word "vicarious"), which is basically feeling the attraction that a character feels as a result of connecting to the character through reading or watching the movie/show/whatever that they're in. It's that feeling of "becoming" another person when you get immersed in a fictional world. When I'm "them", I feel things (albeit watered down) that I don't feel as myself. It's sort of a fancy way of explaining fantasizing that is appealing within the fantasy, but when it comes to me as a person, I'm still pretty asexual. I explained it a little better here: http://violentopposites.tumblr.com/post/7252121267/the-30-day-asexuality-challenge-day-1.

This is a perfect way to describe me as well! I get into a book or a movie and I feel everything that the romantic couples are feeling. I feel the same way when I write, I don't have any asexual characters of my own (I don't know about anyone else who writes but my characters seem to pick their own sexuality and religion, and even handedness and I just roll with it) but most of the sexual relationships I write have very little to do with sex, its implied but not seen. I myself though have only been interested in one guy sexually and I was feeling really connected to him - unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual. I guess Asexual-Romantic would be a good label because even with that one guy the idea of sex seemed unpleasant, but I was attracted enough to give it a shot (the opportunity just never came up) so maybe demisexual is a closer fit... anyway Gray-A feels right because if I become connected with someone I can see myself trying sex with them.

Most embarrassing moment... Hmm I think it had to be in high school, which let’s face it is a repository for embarrassing moments. I was having the worlds worse allergy attack I was standing at a table correcting a self test when I sneezed and - well all the gross stuff that was in my nose wasn't anymore. And I realized I'd forgotten my tissues... did I mention the table I was standing at was in the middle of the room? At sixteen this made me seriously consider moving to an underground bunker!

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Hello fellow greys :D

I'm grey-a, though I'll bet you a couple of weeks from now I'll have changed my mind at least three times haha

I could possibly be demisexual, but I've never been in love or had a deep emotional connection like that. I mainly just get loads of crushes which kind of blurs all the lines a little bit because I'm such an overly romantic person. *sigh*

Err most embarrassing moment..

I've had to kiss various different friends of mine for dares and stuff. That's kind of unpleasant and embarrassing hmm. I can't think of something reeeally embarrassing right now but I'm sure something will come to me xD

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