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What's the difference to you between Friendship feelings and Romantic feelings?


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Hello everyone! I'm quite new to these forums but I'm hoping I can get some clarification on a few things that have been confusing me and along the way meet some new people.

All my life I've heard of "crushes", "liking" other people, "loving" other people. Well, I love some of my friends as if they were my siblings/family, but I'm not sure if I've ever experienced this other kind of romantic interest in another person. How do you tell when a friend starts to become more than a friend? How do you, personally, differentiate between feelings of friendship and feelings of potential romance?

After I know someone for a few years and am really comfortable and close to them, thoughts of what a relationship together would be like cross my mind and I ponder it. I think about how we'd mesh, interests, dislikes, but I've never acted on those thoughts because by that time I'm already really good friends with this person and have no motivation to go any further because they're already in my life.

Does this mean I've never experienced this "liking" of another person other people talk about? Or do I just not know myself well enough to be able to understand that I do "like" this person, just in a potentially different way than my sexual friends do? I'd like to eventually find a partner, but I can't seem to get rid of the doubt that my thoughts regarding a relationship have absolutely nothing to do with that specific person, but instead are just me thinking about a relationship in general.

Have you ever been romantically interested in a person? And how did you know you were? (what were the signs, what did you notice; how was it different than a normal friendly conversation/feeling/thought?).

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Bountiful Harvest

Liking is fun to be with, crush is want to be more with it, love is does not want to let go.

That's. . . pretty accurate how I would briefly explain it :blink: you read my mind before I even thought it :blink:

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This is how it has always been for me:

Like :) : I have good conversations and there is something similar between us that makes me want to hang out with them occasionally. I feel no need for any sort of physical contact.

Crush ;) : I really, really appreciate something about that person be it physical or mental. I often describe myself as wanting to bite them or rub my cheek on them like a cat. I would like to see more of that person than someone I just 'like'.

Now, there are two types of love for me..

Friend Love :blush: : This friend goes above and beyond 'like' because we are connected on a much deeper level. Physical attraction plays no part in this love; it's all about mental attraction. Deep conversations and shared interests are a must. Empathy is a strong part of this bond because I need to be understood and understand or why would I waste my time? If I imagine losing them, it breaks my heart. I can take hugs, cheek kisses, and cuddles without freaking out. Well, sometimes I'll jump if I am not expecting it..

Romantic Love :wub: : Take all of the above but insert the want to be around them even more than friends I love. With current boyfriend, there is a soul deep bond that makes me feel like we're part of the same person most of the time. It is easier to get past flaws and honesty is 100% there. I feel as though there would be a void if he ever left my life. I also feel that even if we stopped being together on a romantic level, I would still need him in my life for as long as I live.

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How do you, personally, differentiate between feelings of friendship and feelings of potential romance?

To me, friendship is when you can have fun hanging out doing things like eat out, going to movies, and almost anything. Friends can talk about anything they feel like talking. Have lots of laughs and enjoy the simple things in life. Potential romance, I think, is more focused on the person of interest itself rather than the things they can do together, if you get what I mean. Sometimes knowing what to look for in body language and the tone of voice can probably help tell if there is a romantic interest with a friend.

I think about how we'd mesh, interests, dislikes...

I've thought about these when someone has taken a liking to me in order to gauge whether or not I should pursue a romantic relationship with them, or when wondering about a friend too. To me, I think if you are thinking like that then it's most definitely just friendship and nothing more. Being in a romantic relationship is where two people are together, regardless of how interests and ideologies mesh.

I'm friends with a girl in college since the beginning of this year and getting along as friends just fine. Though I admit that the times where both of us aren't hanging out with other people, that she might be testing the waters seeing if I want a romantic relationship--or maybe it's just me over-elaborating. I think that she's fine with us remaining as friends. I'm not looking for anyone.

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Sleeping Beauty

Basically the feelings to me are the same and are more or less what Deremna said for friendship, just there is a sort of sense of belonging with the person I consider romantically. It happens rarely that I go really far beyond a crush and this was the difference I perceived :blush:

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I'm a bit different.

Social-Friend: I'll say hi to them if I walk past, maybe make small talk, I party with them every once in a while... They're there to socialize with when I'm bored. In my mind, when people say they have plenty of friends, they really mean social-friends. There might be hugs, but they're mostly quick, and there's no real emotion to them.

Friend: Not too many people, in my mind, have a true friend. I am fortunate in that I have more than one. I love my friends, we strive to have 100% honesty and communication between eachother. We pal around lots, but not just because we're bored, but because we genuinely miss eachother and feel like something's missing after long periods of time. We look out for one another, and we give the best advice possible, not always what the other wants to hear. I cannot imagine my life without them... One moved quite a ways away, and I have not seen her in person in almost five months. The void is unbelievable. I find that a friendship like this is my ideal. I'm okay with hugs, and when we're not sober, we're all right with kisses and cuddles, too, as they're all platonic. Hugs are stronger, deeper, torsos completely touching, and one doesn't let go for quite some time.

Romantic: The affection is certainly not platonic, and it's much more intimate. Basically, if I can press myself against the person more, I will. I don't find this superior to a friendship, but I do enjoy it regardless. Romantic relationships are, in my mind, more selfish than friendships... You say things to be nice and make them happy, not to give your honest opinion. But I don't have to do much with them... Just lying together for hours is really nice.

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You say things to be nice and make them happy, not to give your honest opinion.

Doesn't have to be that way, I haven't told a single lie to my girlfriend. When I ever say things I don't mean for the 100% to 'make them happy', that's to someone friend or family.

but I can't seem to get rid of the doubt that my thoughts regarding a relationship have absolutely nothing to do with that specific person, but instead are just me thinking about a relationship in general.

I think I've experienced the same in the past... Hmmmm. Just try to find out if this person is really really awesome and if you do really care about them. If so, just stop worrying and see how it works it. :P

Anyway ontopic; friends are people I have fun with from time to time, a romantic relationship has more to it, for me at least. Things that come to mind; emotional intimacy, full honesty, caring a lot, admiration, physical intimacy...

If I desire or slowly develop these with someone I guess I'd call it the 'romantic intrest' you mentioned. :)

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This is something I think about on a relatively frequently basis, and granted, a lot depends on personal experience and semantics.

So I have two little groups of good friends; one I've known for a while but not as closely, and one I've known more closely but for less time. In general, though, some of my friendships are more physical than others, so that's not a defining factor of friendship vs. relationship for me; there are people I don't talk to much if we aren't in the same room, people with whom my friendship is mostly intellectual though we enjoy each others company, and people I just like being near.

I always used to think of myself as a prickly person who hated being touched, but I've realized that this actually isn't true. A couple of my friendships I, to myself, call "pseudo-romantic," because I think I get the same thing out of them that people get out of romantic relationships. Though, exactly what that is, I don't quite know. These ones tend to correlate with my wanting to be sort of cuddly around these people. For romance, there's more exclusivity involved, but in terms of feeling, there isn't much difference between a pseudo-romantic friendship and a romance.

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I've been wondering about this question for a while now. I still say that I can't really tell or know the difference. I've never ever been in love, maybe I had a few 'crushes' but I don't really know romantic feelings because I personally never experienced them.

My friends can be divided into two groups, one of them are just buddies, the other ones are real friends. My definition of 'buddy' is similar to Salogma's about social-friends. We may have small talks, chat about everyday things but we don't know each other too well, just hanging out sometimes. I feel no need of any physical contact with them, actually that makes me feel uncomfortable. With friends, I'm fine with hugs or kisses on the cheek, though I don't particularly need it. (Most of the time I feel uncomfortable when someone's touching me, even if it's my mom but there might be exceptions when I actually need it - I'm weird, I know…) So, after someone becomes my friend I can trust, we can talk about almost anything, I can share my problems, we care about each other and miss them when we cannot talk or meet for a longer period of time.

The strange thing is, I don't know when does a friend start to be more than a simple friend. I can't imagine falling in love with a complete stranger, I need to know him first, develop a friendship or something like that. So when I know someone for a long time (I mean, for literally ages) and we have a deep friendship, sometimes I wonder what would it be to have a relationship. Occasionally, when a friend of mine falls in love, I get jealous and I can't really tell why. I'm happy that they're happy, still I really miss them if they're spending a lot more time with their lover than me, and that person becomes the center of their universe. It's kind of a selfish thing, maybe. I'm certainly not having a physical attraction towards them but I never felt that with anyone. So I can't tell whether I started to have romantic feelings or it's still just a friendship. I'm as confused with my romantic preferences as I am with my sexual, I still don't know if I'm really asexual, a gray-A, a late bloomer or what the heck… :huh:

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Occasionally, when a friend of mine falls in love, I get jealous and I can't really tell why. I'm happy that they're happy, still I really miss them if they're spending a lot more time with their lover than me, and that person becomes the center of their universe. It's kind of a selfish thing, maybe. I'm certainly not having a physical attraction towards them but I never felt that with anyone. So I can't tell whether I started to have romantic feelings or it's still just a friendship.

Good to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. I have had obvious platonic feelings and obvious romantic feelings, but sometimes they seem to blur together a bit.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Occasionally, when a friend of mine falls in love, I get jealous and I can't really tell why. I'm happy that they're happy, still I really miss them if they're spending a lot more time with their lover than me, and that person becomes the center of their universe. It's kind of a selfish thing, maybe. I'm certainly not having a physical attraction towards them but I never felt that with anyone. So I can't tell whether I started to have romantic feelings or it's still just a friendship.

I'm exactly like this, too. I don't think it has anything to do with romantic-feelings, at least with me... I think I just want to be someone's first priority, as they are to me. I'm incredibly loyal and jealous not when affection/attention is shared, but when it's diverted from me to another person.

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EastofSunWestofMoon
Liking is fun to be with, crush is want to be more with it, love is does not want to let go.
That's. . . pretty accurate how I would briefly explain it :blink: you read my mind before I even thought it :blink:

This is how it has always been for me:Like :) : I have good conversations and there is something similar between us that makes me want to hang out with them occasionally. I feel no need for any sort of physical contact.Crush ;) : I really, really appreciate something about that person be it physical or mental. I often describe myself as wanting to bite them or rub my cheek on them like a cat. I would like to see more of that person than someone I just 'like'. Now, there are two types of love for me..Friend Love :blush: : This friend goes above and beyond 'like' because we are connected on a much deeper level. Physical attraction plays no part in this love; it's all about mental attraction. Deep conversations and shared interests are a must. Empathy is a strong part of this bond because I need to be understood and understand or why would I waste my time? If I imagine losing them, it breaks my heart. I can take hugs, cheek kisses, and cuddles without freaking out. Well, sometimes I'll jump if I am not expecting it..Romantic Love :wub: : Take all of the above but insert the want to be around them even more than friends I love. With current boyfriend, there is a soul deep bond that makes me feel like we're part of the same person most of the time. It is easier to get past flaws and honesty is 100% there. I feel as though there would be a void if he ever left my life. I also feel that even if we stopped being together on a romantic level, I would still need him in my life for as long as I live.

this is so beautifully put i had to comment.

that's exactly how i feel about the woman i love. i feel like we are the same person. being in love with her, the whole way i see time has changed. i feel like my understanding is more of a spiritual creature than a physically bound mortal. i feel like i've walked this path with her before and i'm just finding her again.

that's love to me.

you just don't want to let go.

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For me there isn't a difference. A romantic thing is like a very good and strong friendship. I can't say I've ever felt a romantic attraction, but I don't label myself as aromantic. Friendships are cool.

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