corduroyjackalope Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Even though I am really aromantic I would still like a life partner whom I could love and spend the rest of my life with, just aromanticly. It wouldn't matter if they were male or female, just someone to be with. Any other aromantics that feel like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Theta Sigma Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Even though I am really aromantic I would still like a life partner whom I could love and spend the rest of my life with, just aromanticly. It wouldn't matter if they were male or female, just someone to be with. Any other aromantics that feel like this? Yep. This exactly. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Yes they do :lol: I feel kind off similar. I am not keen on romantic relationships but a partner who I can be with aromantically kinda like a best friend would be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
nleseul Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Yes. Or more than one! Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Simply because one doesn't experience romantic attraction doesn't mean that they didn't want to build a relationship with another. One can feel attraction in other ways than romantically as well. I've for example felt intellectual or mental attraction in the past, though it hasn't led me to want to develop a relationship with them. So far I haven't felt a need to share my life with another, but perhaps I will feel such a desire later, who knows. Anyway, love doesn't have to imply romantic involment in my opinion. In simple terms, I would see love in kindness and acceptance, but being romantic is something I can't understand because I don't feel romantic emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Shenhua Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I feel this way. Perhaps this is why I am not fully sure whether or not I am aromantic. I want to be with someone, but I don't know what kind of relationship I want with that person. I think the closest thing to it is Platonic love -- the kind Plato actually discussed, where the whole relationship is about pulling each other to a higher level of understanding and helping each other see the beauty in the world. There isn't anything physical in this relationship because it is so focused on the mind. I want someone I can learn from and who will learn with me. It would all be focused on furthering our knowledge and making each other better people. I don't think I experience romantic attraction, but I definitely experience some kind of attraction... Perhaps it is that I am attracted to the person's mind or intellect. Do any of you feel this way? Maybe I am aromantic after all... ~Shenhua Link to post Share on other sites
goaTmcFEE Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Even though I am really aromantic I would still like a life partner whom I could love and spend the rest of my life with, just aromanticly. It wouldn't matter if they were male or female, just someone to be with. Any other aromantics that feel like this? Yep. :) Who wants to be alone? I want an uber friendship with someone I can go and do stuff with. I don't really see the need for romance. I'm kind of romantically retarded. I actually pushed prince charming off a tower in a dream I had, lol. Really, I just want someone who has incredibly similar interests who's aromantic as well and just willing to put up with my stupid sense of humor. If I had a way to copy/paste myself, sometimes I think I'd be set (but that may just be the narcissism talking). I'm almost willing to tread into romantic territory in order to see if I can get this at the price of compromise, but there may be alll kinds of complications that come up. No way for me to know, really. I'm clueless with romance. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Goldfish Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I form extremely close, hopefully lifelong bonds with my friends, but I don't feel any desire for a life partner. *shrug* Unless I decided to have a kid maybe. Then I would want help. Link to post Share on other sites
corduroyjackalope Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 The kind of relationship Doctor Who has with his companions would be perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Mads Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Oh, this, so much. I've always thought of my ideal relationship as a travel buddy or a co-pilot. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm aromantic or not, though. Link to post Share on other sites
gracemarie Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 This is exactly what I would like to find, but I find it unlikely that I ever will Link to post Share on other sites
Sh4d3 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I've always noted a subdivision in the romantic/aromantic divide between those who seek out a partner and those who seek out a community. Nonetheless I agree with most of the sentiments expressed in this thread. Who wants to be my lifelong partner? Requirements: Level headed and open minded Adventurous Okay with the fact I work a lot Okay with the fact I'm a tech head Willing to help me raise my 12 adopted future children Any takers? :D Link to post Share on other sites
lostg4ever Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Even though I am really aromantic I would still like a life partner whom I could love and spend the rest of my life with, just aromanticly. I feel likt this all the time! Sometimes I even picture us adopting kids, living in a house and growing old, just strictly aromantic though. You are definitely not alone. :) Link to post Share on other sites
shaiith Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Yes they do :lol: I feel kind off similar. I am not keen on romantic relationships but a partner who I can be with aromantically kinda like a best friend would be nice. This :) I'm not sure if I'm actually aromantic, or if I'm just at a point in my life where I don't really want a relationship (or the commitments, expectations, etc. that typically come with them), but I desire companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
prettyeyes Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I'm not even aromantic but I would like it. Romance can be so hectic! I just want someone to stick around and have adventures with. Link to post Share on other sites
kat_xk8 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I'm an asexual with 0 interest in romance So what does that make me? I do not want romance to ever happen to me And I hate this expectation from society that I'm going to eventually have to No society - you are the one who needs to accept no is no!!! Get over it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Changed773 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I would love to have a Platonic Life Partner. :lol: Just somebody to always talk to and go out to have a drink with. Link to post Share on other sites
Catster Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I definitely feel like this and have been having issues with my roommate recently because not only does she want a boyfriend she told me I was being "picky" and "rejecting her" for wanting someone close to spend my life with but not in a romantic way. She seemed to think that aromantics were ok on their own we aren't well not all of us are anyway I still want someone close I am human. Once I explained it though she understood better I explained that it is like a gay and a straight trying to understand how the other feels that is difficult as it is for aromantics and romantics to understand. I think I am going to get her to join this site so she can gain a better understanding as to where i am coming from I am not 100% sure I am asexual or aromantic for that matter but it is 70% certain I am. I definitely feel very close to my friend and enjoy spending time with her but maybe I have a "squish" rather than a crush on her. I can honestly say that when she was single and it was just me and her hanging out etc I was happy now that her "real feelings" about always looking for a boyfriend and stuff have come out I have been depressed and jealous of them I don't like it but I cant help it as I had different ideas on what I wanted to what she wanted. I accept she wants to be my close friend and thats nice but like I said I too have feelings and desires that have been hurt and will take time to heal. Like her I want someone to spend my life with but in a different way as others have said no one aromantic or not wants to be alone. I guess it is like if you had a crush on someone and they got with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Cazz333 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I feel this way. Perhaps this is why I am not fully sure whether or not I am aromantic. I want to be with someone, but I don't know what kind of relationship I want with that person. I think the closest thing to it is Platonic love -- the kind Plato actually discussed, where the whole relationship is about pulling each other to a higher level of understanding and helping each other see the beauty in the world. There isn't anything physical in this relationship because it is so focused on the mind. I want someone I can learn from and who will learn with me. It would all be focused on furthering our knowledge and making each other better people. I don't think I experience romantic attraction, but I definitely experience some kind of attraction... Perhaps it is that I am attracted to the person's mind or intellect. Do any of you feel this way? Maybe I am aromantic after all... ~Shenhua ^^^This. Pretty much the same except with loads of non-sexual and some minimal sexual contact, maybe. I've always noted a subdivision in the romantic/aromantic divide between those who seek out a partner and those who seek out a community. Nonetheless I agree with most of the sentiments expressed in this thread. Who wants to be my lifelong partner? Requirements: Level headed and open minded Adventurous Okay with the fact I work a lot Okay with the fact I'm a tech head Willing to help me raise my 12 adopted future children Any takers? :D One. Can math all the traits and like them. How about Ancient History buff to the mix and 2 future biological/ adopted children? ;) No, you're not the only one. Link to post Share on other sites
virescence Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Ditto EVERYTHING everyone else has said. Link to post Share on other sites
corduroyjackalope Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 I think the song "Hey Soul Sister" says it all. Especially with the "one of my kind" and "watching you is the only drug I need." Link to post Share on other sites
Fenchurch Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Well, just add me to the list! I just want a companionship, not so much a relationship. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Trolley Girl Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 The only thing I can think of is just a couple of buddies with whom I can live as roommates, and nothing more at all. 8) Link to post Share on other sites
Shenhua Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I feel this way. Perhaps this is why I am not fully sure whether or not I am aromantic. I want to be with someone, but I don't know what kind of relationship I want with that person. I think the closest thing to it is Platonic love -- the kind Plato actually discussed, where the whole relationship is about pulling each other to a higher level of understanding and helping each other see the beauty in the world. There isn't anything physical in this relationship because it is so focused on the mind. I want someone I can learn from and who will learn with me. It would all be focused on furthering our knowledge and making each other better people. I don't think I experience romantic attraction, but I definitely experience some kind of attraction... Perhaps it is that I am attracted to the person's mind or intellect. Do any of you feel this way? Maybe I am aromantic after all... ~Shenhua ^^^This. Pretty much the same except with loads of non-sexual and some minimal sexual contact, maybe. Well, I wouldn't mind cuddling with that person once in a while... Cuddling can be nice as long as the person isn't overly touchy. Link to post Share on other sites
CopyFox Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 You know, I think this feeling may be inclusive in the definition of a romantic relationship. It would just be that the romance is to a lesser degree--you sould still be devoted to each other, but you might not do stereotypically "couply" things like hold hands or sleep in the same bed or kiss and cuddle (and of course no sex, lol). I think the concept of wanting a life partner IS inherently romantic. As for how I personally feel on this, I'm really not sure. I've been quietly in love with someone for years and finally confronted him about it, and he turned me down, as I half-expected. Now I kind of feel like I'm floating without a tether. I suppose this is what the rebound feels like. I can tell I just want that feeling of being tied down back, but I don't know in what way--if I want a romantic asexual relationship or if I just want a good friend who I know won't leave me. Except that I DO have good friends, and I know a lot of good people, but...is that enough? I always considered it that way when I had that guy I love in the back of my head, but now that I absolutely know it's going no where, I've been feeling almost lonely... Link to post Share on other sites
corduroyjackalope Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 It would be nice to have someone who would also feel comfortable trying out romantic stuff and, woudl also not be hurt if I said I found I didn't like it. Kind of like Sheldon and his girlfriend in Big Bang. Link to post Share on other sites
Melorian Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I would really love a platonic life partner too. They'd have to be asexual though - I couldn't bear the thought of someone finding me sexually attractive - grosses me out! But sometimes I really do feel very alone, or I recognise that in the future I will be all alone and possibly lonely and I dearly would like to find someone out there like me who will keep me company through life. More than a friend but definately not a lover or partner. I wouldn't even care if they were male or female (being aromantic myself). Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I actually pushed prince charming off a tower in a dream I had, lol. I had a dream where prince charming kissed me, and I punched him! Yeah, I'd really like the type of relationship described here. Someone to half cuddle with- I'm not all that interested in cuddling. But I want someone to play with my hair; is that strange? Yes, yes it is, but I want that nonetheless. I just really don't want much else- no handholding, no superlong hugs, no kissing. Maybe a bit of snuggling and someone I can have an intelligent conversation with, and someone I can wrestle with! @Sh4d3- I was totally into the list until you hit '12 adopted kids' I might want one adopted kid someday, but not 12 of them! Too many; how would you keep track of them all? Link to post Share on other sites
Suzan Q Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Yeah, it would be cool to have someone closer than a best friend, but not necessarily a romantic relationship. I do like my space, so meeting up two or three times a week to talk about stuff or do some sort of activity together would be my idea of perfect. I was never one for relationships where two people are basically attached at the hip. I suppose I wouldn't mind if they were sexual, so long as they weren't sexual with me. If I had a very close sexual friend, who understood and accepted my asexuality, then I wouldn't have a problem with their status as sexual. It might be even better if they were married, or had a life partner or whatever. That way they wouldn't be looking to me for whatever satisfaction most people get from romantic relationships. If I could have three or four friends for life who matched the criteria, I would be ecstatic. Link to post Share on other sites
corduroyjackalope Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 I've kind of made it a rule that I wouldn't even attempt a partnership with someone if they weren't ace, and probably aromantic as well, just because 1) I don't want to feel like I'm keeping someone from something they want and 2) them not understanding why I don't seem to be physically interested and taking it personally. Link to post Share on other sites
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