Are there Many demi-Romantic people?

[Dylan-Michael]

I would say that about 90% of the time I feel Aromantic, 9% of the time I feel Hetero-Romantic, and the other 1% I feel Homo-romantic.

I only feel Romantic with people that I know real well, but even Making out sounds gross to me, a quick peck on the Cheek is fine, but only with the people I know.

I usually don't act upon these feelings, because I know that they'll be gone the next day or even hour, so I still just say that I'm Aromantic.

Your thoughts.

[Pandoren]

I don't experience romantic attraction towards people but I feel the potential that one day I might, a partner isn't high on my list of priorities but that's something I feel could change with the right person, so I ID as demiromantic because of that.

[ily]

I'm the romantic equivalent of a "gray-A". I guess the difference is that I've experienced romantic attraction towards people I didn't know well.

[frozen moment]

I think I'm demiromantic.

I've never experienced romantic attraction and I don't even understand how it would feel if I did. Hence, Aromantic?

But I would like a romantic relationship (that or just a romantic friendship) with a guy. The reason that I think that this is NOT just me craving hugs and affection is that I don't daydream about hugging a girl. Even though I develop very strong platonic crushes (squishes) on both genders, any kind of romantic situation in my head always involves a guy. Hence, Heteroromantic?

So, demiromantic is a happy medium.

Then again, if demi-romantic is to romantic as demi-sexual is to sexual, the definition of demi-romantic ought to be "experiences romantic attraction after having developed a close platonic bond with a person first". (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

This confuses me a little bit because how is it possible to experience romantic attraction without having developed a close platonic bond first?

I guess the difference is that I've experienced romantic attraction towards people I didn't know well.

how does that work? *baffled* The concept of romantic attraction is harder to comprehend than sexual attraction, for me at least, even though I've experienced neither.

[niku-bot]

I'm definitely somewhere in the gray romantic area. Ever since I've learned the term, I ID as demiromantic. A good chunk of the people I know could fit under demiromantic, but I don't know if that constitutes as "many."

What do you mean when you say "feel romantic?" Sometimes I get the urge to hold a close friend's hand, squeeze them, or kiss them on the cheek. All of this is purely platonic. It doesn't feel romantic to me, but another friend of mine describes it as romantic inclinations. To me, it's more like kissing your favorite aunt on the cheek - it's nowhere near romantic, it just a way to show affection.

[Lorem Ipsum]

I think I'm another grey-romantic. I've only been romantically attracted to anyone twice, both times when I was barely friends with them. (As for how that works..I guess I just like what I see of their personality? I dunno. I didn't need to know their favorite color, greatest fears, life story--just how they act. Seems to be enough.)

But except for those two times, I never had any interest in even going on a date, and will happily live the rest of my life single.

[ily]

This confuses me a little bit because how is it possible to experience romantic attraction without having developed a close platonic bond first?

I guess the difference is that I've experienced romantic attraction towards people I didn't know well.

how does that work? *baffled* The concept of romantic attraction is harder to comprehend than sexual attraction, for me at least, even though I've experienced neither.

Well, people I've had crushes on (which I guess is a strong romantic attraction) in the past...none of them were strangers, but they were all acquaintances or friends of friends. I was drawn to them in some way, though. You can have sexual attraction to someone you don't know, so why not non-sexual attraction? Maybe it only makes sense if you experience it, I don't know.

I agree that romantic attraction is a lot harder to define than sexual attraction. Everyone seems to have their own definition of it.

[Shenhua]

I think I'm grey-romantic, as well. Sometimes I feel demiromantic; sometimes I feel aromantic. Most of the time, I'm just confused.

~Shenhua

[prettyeyes]

Definetly demiromantic here. I don't have feelings towards people until I get to know them a lot.

[frozen moment]

I think I'm another grey-romantic. I've only been romantically attracted to anyone twice, both times when I was barely friends with them. (As for how that works..I guess I just like what I see of their personality? I dunno. I didn't need to know their favorite color, greatest fears, life story--just how they act. Seems to be enough.)

Well, people I've had crushes on (which I guess is a strong romantic attraction) in the past...none of them were strangers, but they were all acquaintances or friends of friends. I was drawn to them in some way, though. You can have sexual attraction to someone you don't know, so why not non-sexual attraction? Maybe it only makes sense if you experience it, I don't know.

Actually, I think I just understood it. What about a platonic attraction analogy - that is something i've experienced and understand. So, I can develop platonic crushes on people I don't know very well - I am drawn in some way to their personality or something. I want to get to know them better because I think they could potentially be a really good friend.

So, with romantic attraction - are you drawn to them in a similar way, but instead of thinking they could be a really good friend, you think they could potentially be a really good boyfriend/girlfriend?

Does that sound right?

[Dylan-Michael]

I just say that I'm Aromantic and don't like other people, to keep people un-confused.

[asexual cake]

I'm the romantic equivalent of a "gray-A". I guess the difference is that I've experienced romantic attraction towards people I didn't know well.

This describes me well.

I can develop romantic attraction on people I don't know very well based on a variety of things, though mostly from assumptions about their behavior in general from watching them interact with other people/reading things they've written/etc. I'm not interested in dating generally, though, only specifically when I'm strongly attracted to sometimes - and often not even then.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

I would think that only experiencing romantic feelings toward someone once you have a close platonic bond with them would be such an overwhelming majority it doesn't need a label. Would a demiromantic please explain why you think the use of the demiromantic label is necessary? I mean, I'll only fall in love with a person once we're very good friends, but I don't personally feel the need to say I'm demiromantic. Help me understand?

[asexual cake]

I would think that only experiencing romantic feelings toward someone once you have a close platonic bond with them would be such an overwhelming majority it doesn't need a label. Would a demiromantic please explain why you think the use of the demiromantic label is necessary? I mean, I'll only fall in love with a person once we're very good friends, but I don't personally feel the need to say I'm demiromantic. Help me understand?

For me, demi-romantic fits better for several reasons. First, I don't have a general attraction to the idea of intimacy or dating; at times I feel totally aromantic, but then occasionally (very rarely, but it happens) I'll feel romantically attracted to someone, and I'll stop feeling aromantic for however long that attraction lasts. Really, romantic attraction as a concept seems a lot more nebulous than sexual attraction, and demiromantic is just a more descriptive way of expressing my relationship to that same concept: generally disinterested, occasionally actively opposed, and very rarely deeply interested. Essentially, I'm never interested in romance generally and I'm only occasionally interested specifically.

[Bathaleph]

I'd say that I'm aromantic. (Maybe I need aromatherapy?)

I don't develop crushes, but there are people who I think are very adorable who I just want to squeeze and love on. It's the same reaction I'd get to a cute puppy or bunny.

The other type of intense relationship that I get into is a platonic best friend relationship - think the relationship you had with your best friend when you were 9, when you were the whole world to eachother and you spent every waking moment together. I have three of these best friends right now and feel like my life is overflowing with love. The thought that they might be taken away from me by a "real" romantic or sexual relationship makes my heart ache. It would be like they'd moved away.

Romance feels really awkward for me - like I'm pretending to be a grownup (and I'm 23 for god's sake). The whole dating thing just doesn't hold any mystery for me, and I can't see how it's rewarding or worthwhile (versus curling up on the couch and playing video games or going to a movie with my best friends). Of course, if someone found happiness in it, I'd do everything I could to support them in it ^^.

[Day Dreamer]

I think I could possibly be demi-romantic. I just don't have enough information to go on. Two years ago, I wasn't interested in anyone romantically. I had a ton of crushes before that point, and I think I may have fallen in love as well. A year ago, I fell in love again. After that year I haven't had much of a romantic interest in anyone. I'm confused as well.

[SomeDude]

I'm starting to get confused too.

I use to think that I was hetero-romantic as well. I had crushes since I was a kid. I would have pleasant fantasies about doing intimate things together and sharing feelings and emotions and going out to dinners and cuddling etc.

I think now that I'm older, throughout the years, I've seen and experienced that the reality of it is not as great and moving as I thought it would be in my head. Maybe i just had bad experiences.

I think I just like platonic friendships now. I've always had someone I consider a best friend. I would also say that I've had "bromances." I think, in general, it has to do with the fact that I dislike hanging out in large groups and would rather hang out with people one-on-one and get to know them and connect.

I use to have a desire to date. People say that I should just force myself to date and that I just haven't found the right girl. Perhaps this is true, but even then, I do not desire sex. I haven't tried it yet. I don't usually feel any urge to be physical with anyone and even less so these days. So in general, the idea of dating doesn't even really appeal to me either. The fact that I've had very strong intense crushes makes me feel like maybe I'm demi-romantic. I can see a female and think that she's really pretty or cute. But I don't feel the need to touch them or be sexual with them. I suppose I am arromantic now.

The only thing is that I have a great fear of being alone and especially dying alone. I find it hard to meet people and connect with people. I still live at home and I've been noticing lately that I am very dependent on my mom, its frightening because I know she won't always be around. So i don't know. Sometimes I feel like the romantic part of me has died over the years, perhaps that part of my brain failed to fully develop and retain itself since most of my crushes have ended in failure.