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  2. PoeciMeta

    #AsexualProblems

    Agreed. If I weren't that ace though, they would have found other bullying material.
  3. TheAP

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Blue 2
  4. Toa Lhikan

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Blue 1
  5. JD_MacGill

    JD_MacGill

    Any news regarding Pride in London?

  6. TheAP

    Guess the word!

    Elevation 1,3,5 Alienated 0,3,6 Bacterian 1,1,7 Tellurium 1,4,4 Unnerving 1,3,5 Ytterbium 1,3,5 Slapstick 1,2,6 Treadmill 1,3,5 Lunatical 0,3,6 Rulership 1,5,3 Umbrellas 1,4,4 Underlier 1,3,5 Chairlift 1,2,6
  7. Skycaptain

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I can understand turbines being contentious. By their very nature they need to be located in open areas with a clear airflow. However, unlike solar farms they can be located on say, grazing for sheep, with minimal disruption. Personally I like their aesthetic, but I wouldn't want them on every hillside. A thought. They're, big and prominent, so why has nobody tried selling advertising space on them?
  8. Chilli Pepper

    Dying Alone

    Birth = separation from the mother. Death = separation from the living. Both are equally lonesome if you ask me. Is there even such a thing as dying together? Maybe if you die in an accident (plane or car or whatever).
  9. That’s sadly spot on. While I didn’t know or understand my husband as asexual for the first 15 years, I clearly was living it. Since understanding, and plowing through the education, there has been this sense of “I wish it wasn’t so!” The sense of permanency and loss of perennial hope almost slayed me. Fooling yourself can last longer than one imagines and that sense of potential kept the greater relationship potential possible. It’s unhappy, but possible to live in that space for years, if not life. My husband’s asexuality, or my sexuality (the mismatch), has been devastating to our lives. Yes, I’d wish it away if I could. Honestly, I don’t like it.
  10. is everyone else bored of this SNC Lavalin thing?
  11. TheAP

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    0
  12. Maeve

    C-PTSD and being asexual

    Wow. I resonate with everything you have said, @Meme1325 and @alienanteater. Had never heard of C-PTSD before, but think I need to learn more about it. Even though being asexual in and of itself does not mean you can't have fulfilling relationships, I know from personal experience that all the other ways in which relating is already a challenge definitely makes coming to terms with being ace that much more difficult. I live a very isolated kind of life already - it's so true that people seem to sense when someone is different and if they don't have a quick & easy way to define how & why you are different, they react with fear and hatred. I've experienced this all my life. So when I learned I was a-spexual*, it was terrifying to think that now people would have one more difference to focus on and use to dismiss me entirely. It sucks. But rather than focus any more on the negative, I'll share some things that have helped me to deal... 1. This forum!!! Really exploring it and reaching out to people here has been a huge help. It has been a vital gateway to learning how to come to terms with my a-spexuality* and even learning how to talk to people IRL about it (though I haven't - and may never - come out). Also, I've recently come to really enjoy the AVEN Arcade - it's a great stress-reliever and nothing breaks the ice like a good game! 2. I move around a lot, but each time I go to a new place, I search for ace groups on Meetup.com. I'm excruciatingly shy but did manage to drag myself to a couple events with other aces and it was nice to be surrounded by similar people. Perhaps you can find a group in your area? Also, I've seen posts here from people wanting to meet other AVENites in their locale. You could do that, too! 3. If you're on Facebook, there are private ace groups on there you can check out, too. Reaching out and getting to know other aces/a-specs* is a great way to process all this. You never have to come out IRL if you don't feel comfortable with that - especially if you feel it will only isolate you more from the people around you. I'm currently living in a city with no ace groups nearby. If I were to tell anyone around here that I'm a-spec, I already know all the ignorant crap they would say and I just don't need to deal with that, so I don't feel the need to tell anyone. As such, this site is a godsend. I come here whenever I'm feeling especially isolated and even just reading other people's posts makes me feel better. Also, I just want to note that being a-spec as opposed to asexual does not necessarily make life easier. I think there's a tendency among certain aces to assume that demisexuals must "have it better" than them, but this reflects a serious misunderstanding about the a-spec reality. Just because someone can theoretically find someone they might eventually feel some level of sexual attraction toward doesn't mean it's easy to find that super-rare human with whom one can connect that deeply. I identify as demi-gray, but my experience is more akin to "total" ace than anything else. Don't let the prefix "demi-" fool you - we're not "half" sexual and "half" asexual!! * a-spec = someone on the asexuality spectrum. I recently started using "a-spexual/ity." I like that it's quicker & easier to say than "I'm on the asexuality spectrum" and I don't like having to spell out the specifics of my identity all the time. Anyhoo... more cake for you! Welcome
  13. anisotrophic

    Fellow Sexuals

    You are a narcissistic bloviating ass, and -- in contrast to other sexual men in the forums -- exactly the sort of masculinity I have no desire for. You demonstrate no memory of who I am. My romance does not evaporate with time, it hardens to a mettle that pulls us through hard times. The dreams become reality, as we become so much more together than we would have been apart. It is a relationship that now matures to transcend shifts in gender and orientation. We have children. It's going strong after a decade and a half. I hope my more recent love bears similar fruit, perhaps transmuted to a more platonic form, but there is no disillusionment. I fall in love with a potential, not an illusion, and I have been fortunate to see those potentials realized. All this comes with lust, set aside or channeled if I must. To hear a breath catch as my hands press against the heat of a partner's body, to taste them, to hear the groan of desire -- oh, I'm pretty sure I'm sexual too. My ability to bank those fires does not mean they do not burn within me.
  14. Duke Memphis

    Ayyyee

    Welcome to AVEN! If you like dark humor, then here's a limerick! Also, cats are great.
  15. AonEne the Human

    Should the cake worry me?

    Oh my gosh dog. Ahhh. Thank you, everyone, for the cake that probably won't steal my soul, and thank you Lichley for the advice. Oh, and thank you to MichaelTannock, for somehow thinking that I'm worthy of a moderator's time.
  16. MichaelTannock

    Ayyyee

    Welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Sleeping Cat Cake,
  17. mhm, sometimes it's just the intimacy that draws people in
  18. I've been to a fetish event, I've attended the event on several occasions, I've been working there, I have looked on out of curiosity I can't deny that, it was a BDSM event, the thought of being tied up/restrained for a person who's claustrophobic really turned my stomach, people inflicting pain on each other, well it's a bit like watching boxing or some sort of violent sport, just that one person inflicts the pain as the other accepts it, weird really but it floats their boat, it wasn't sexual, just a little odd. Someone else here mentioned watching porn, I recall being a guinea pig for viagra, they gave us porn to look at in the form of magazines and videos, I flicked through the magazines and just saw naked bodies, I watched movies and fell asleep out of boredom. Not really bothered by fetishes, but as long as it's legal and consensual, I don't see anything wrong with it
  19. Hello! We are a group of students from the University of Hong Kong looking for asexual people to interview as a part of a project for our course on Sex and Intimacy in Modern Times. The focus of our research is the lack of support for the asexual community, the lack of understanding of the asexual community and how it affects asexual individuals and society. The purpose of our study is to increase the visibility of the asexual community The interviews will be conducted via Skype and recorded by either voice recording or video recording to be used in our report. We are looking for 3 interviewees. If you are interested in participating, please message this account. Participants must be 18 and above and fluent in English.
  20. Maeve

    Ayyyee

    Howdy & welcome! More cake for you... 😁
  21. SusannaC

    Fellow Sexuals

    Apostle, I think you are especially bitter with the concept of romantic love-romance- because your life with your wife has taken this direction. This is sad, but I suppose it’s how you must deal with the relationship you have. I am flattered that you say romance is for young girls-because that must mean I am young🥰!!!!! Seriously though, I believe romantic love exists and can remain in a relationship - though the expression of this love may change with time and not be as apparent and a lovestruck teen at a Beatles concert. Perhaps romance doesn’t exist forever in some relationships like yours. Romantic love is certainly more than mystery and fantasy though-it’s a feeling of contentment and peace with ones partner, attraction that lasts and pulls you towards your partner.
  22. gisiebob

    How to let someone down gently

    the eternal human struggle: how to communicate without having to communicate or load up a grenade laucher with rubber rounds
  23. Apostle

    Fellow Sexuals

    I'm not sure why people want to be pigeon holed by specific types of love. You either love them one way or another. I can respect my SO for example for the way she is even though we don't have similar or mutual sexual interest. I cannot change the way she was born, her sexuality or personality traits. I have been psychologically changed by her behavioural model I admit although this has taken a long time. I no longer wish to have a sexual relationship with her so we now stand as good friends. Obviously, I am truly saddened by this but life has to go on and I know families in far worse situations than we find ourselves in.
  24. Today
  25. Some people are single their whole life and that's fine. Can you get what you want from just friendships? Maybe in the future you may get these feelings for somebody. Where does the boredom stem from? Maybe tackle that first. Make new friends, focus on your career or get a hobby. These things may stop the boredom a bit.
  26. Yeah, I was thinking more that a mixed LDR might be permanently sustainable... but only if the people in it didn’t know. In real life what probably happens is more similar to what happened to you - the LDR goes well, so both partners work to make an in-person relationship a reality, and *then* they discover they have a signifcant incompatibility.
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