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  2. Edels

    How not to answer a newbie

    A non-libidoist is someone that denies the existence of libido, just like members of the earth flat society deny the existence of a round earth, but that's another debate. Basically, "non" means "no" in french, so when non-libidoists hear anything related to libido, they just say "no". What is up with asexual people having some sort of cake obsession ?
  3. Steel13

    Hi, can I make some friends? :)

    Welcome! I hope you feel at home here!
  4. Edels

    Alphabet Song Titles

    Zero Percent - My Chemical Romance
  5. Steel13

    Things from childhood

    I absolutely loved Harry Potter when I was growing up, and even though I feel like I have grown out of it now, the books were sorta like childhood friends when I was lonely. Even though I would not call myself a hard-core fan in the same way a lot of people are, I feel a sense of nostalgia and love for the books because they taught me to connect with other children in a way that I had not before. I also have books that I loved as a little kid that I like more each time a read them. While I loved To Kill a Mockingbird and Frankenstein when I was in elementary school, I didn't have the maturity to pick up on all of their themes. Each time I read them, I understood a little more and I found new reasons to love them. Now, having studied literature, my understanding of the texts has evolved, though my original feelings and nostalgia for the works remain. I feel the same about a lot of old movies and TV shows. While I can see that some of them are silly or made for children, I can't help but love them simply because they made me happy as a child. Classic movies like Cary Grant films, the Marx Brothers and Citizen Kane only get better with age; they make me think of my childhood, but they are also incredible movies that have a lot to offer me as an adult. Music in general has a lot of meaning for me, but hearing old Broadway showtunes and classic rock and roll definitely makes me think of singing with my parents on road trips. Hobbies are tougher for me. Sometimes it can make me sad to try a hobby I liked as a child and find that I don't enjoy it anymore. The only childhood hobby that I can still enjoy in its entirety is probably building models, but I think that is because I am still decent at it, where my art skills and athletic skills have not held up nearly so well.
  6. Snegurochka McLouWho

    Guess the word!

    SERPENT 1,2,4 PACKAGE 0,2,5 PERFECT 1,1,5
  7. This is the nature of so called "leadership". I could care less if I am even offered the vaccine. To be honest, it has been rushed and the companies making it are being pressured by it's CEO's to pull of a miracle for profit. I'm good on being the victim of that disaster. Thanks
  8. Abigail Rose

    Word association game

    and Chicken
  9. Juulie33

    Hi, can I make some friends? :)

    Hello! i just joined this because I also want to figure out this whole asexuality thing and just make some friends along the way to talk about it. :) (I had no idea cakes and dragons was an ace thing- i love it so much already lol)
  10. Epic Tetus

    Has Cancel Culture Gone too Far?

    Again, famous/prominent people don't need you to defend them - they already have lots of money and clout. Famous/prominent people being mired in scandal is nothing new either. In the case of your specific example, a Google search reveals on the first page: - No mention of any scandal - Speculation about which Marvel movies he'd be a great fit for - Comments on how he's filming a new movie in Toronto - References to his new standup Netflix special If this is what being canceled looks like - in what way has it gone too far? It seems like this person is once again incredibly successful, having weathered a scandal of some kind. This does not seem to me like a dire threat to freedom of expression. Dead people...canceled? Okay, let's break this down (no pun intended): 1 - What exactly are we talking about, here? Forgive me for asking for specifics, but I have an inkling that if I were to try to address a particular instance that I can think of, someone might swoop in and say "Ah ha! Well! We actually meant this other thing! Thus and so, it is proven that you automatically assume terrible things about your opponents - for shame!" My apologies if you meant to include specifics or thought that what you were referring to was obvious, but I've had a lot of experience with people trying to move the goalposts, and I just don't have a lot of patience for it. 2 - Destruction of statues in the abstract. Since we have no specific examples to discuss or explain, let's address the idea that maybe we just should never destroy statues. Well, there's KIND of an issue here. What if everyone hates the statue? Not even for a political reason, what if it's just like a rogue art installation of something unpleasant? Are we required to keep that up forever, lest we cancel the artist, or whatever the subject of their statue is? Is having a town hall meeting to discuss removing the 12ft tall statue of a porn star, the heroic equestrian statue of Vladmir Lenin, or an enormous bronze set of genitalia another symptom of #cancelculture? Or is it just, you know, being part of a community, and agreeing that you don't like some kinds of things in public places? And just to make this point a little clearer and more relevant to what I sense as an undertone in the celebrity related items, let's say that 10 years ago, someone had erected a statue of Jeffery Epstein outside a school he used to teach at, to commemorate his time at the school and honor his success in finance as kind of an aspirational deal for the kids. Given recent revelations about the quality of his character and actions, would it be at all unusual or inappropriate to remove the statue? If not, how would you go about it? A community meeting? Unilateral action by the school board? Again, I'd like to break this down a bit: First, the experience you describe sounds miserable and you have my sympathies. Being accused of something you didn't do is indeed terrible, and I think everyone here, regardless of their stance on the larger topic, would agree that your experience is an all too common type of unjust treatment and implicit assumption for a variety of reasons. Second, there's a disconnect here: The clearest evidence that we're losing the thread here a little is: "Me making a joke they didn't get, isn't befitting a mob doxxing and canceling me." To go back to Kevin Hart, it doesn't seem to me like his experience was similar to yours. In his experience, my understanding is that he definitely made a joke that a lot of people felt was not cool, so they called him out on it. He does not deny making the joke, he just did not feel like people should be mad about it. In your case, you did NOT grope someone, and were wrongfully accused by that someone. You deny taking the action, and presumably agree that you WOULD deserve scorn if you HAD groped the other student. One case is an instance of someone not wanting to be held accountable to the opinions of others. The other is a case of someone not wanting to be lied about/accused of doing something they didn't do. I agree that false accusations are bad, and we shouldn't do them. But all reasonable people already agree with that. Everyone in this thread agrees that when someone says or does something that we judge to be out of line, unacceptable, or destructive, we should make an effort to raise awareness of the problem and try to convince people to stop doing or saying those things. I know this, because if you think "cancel culture" has gone too far, you're advocating for it to come to an end. By having a discussion with other people, you're trying to convince them to recognize a flaw in their thinking, or change a behavior that you think is negative. This isn't a bad thing, this is discourse and a vital part of being in a community. If you say things people don't like, then people won't like you. I'm not here to say you have to enjoy that, but it is a part of living with other people that you're not entitled to their agreement. We do have laws to protect against actual crimes and things like death threats or harrassment, but we don't have laws against boycotts, because you can't force people to go see a show they don't want to see. If I don't want to watch Kevin Hart's comedy special because I thought he did something I found reprehensible, that's on me. I can't stop you from going if you thought it was hilarious. If I tell my friends, "Hey, I don't think you should see Kevin Hart's comedy special," and they listen to me, that's again, not really anyone's problem but me and my friends. I often recommend some media or products to people while recommending against others. Is it sinister to avoid buying bottled water and drink from the tap? No. Is it sinister to not buy a brand razors if the company runs an ad you don't like? Also no. Most importantly, you and I don't have to agree on what constitutes a good reason to avoid or embrace a particular product, celebrity, or political party. And we can both try to convince the other that their reasons aren't very good. And none of that is inherently bad or even necessarily antagonistic.
  11. weird elf

    Something you LIKE that everybody else hates?

  12. 8.00: Built a snowman 8.10: Feminist walks by and complains that it's not a snowwoman 8.15: Built a snowwoman 8.17: Kindergarden teacher complains about the snowwoman's implied boobs 8.20: Gay dude from across the street yells at me because there should also be a couple of snowmen 8.25: Vegan neighbour screams that the carrot noses are a waste of food 8.30: I'm being called a racist because the snow is white 8.33: Aisha from around the corner demands a hijab for the snowwoman 8.40: Police arrives at the scene 8.46: SWAT team arrives because the snowman's broom is a potential weapon 8.52: ISIS claims to be responsible for the snowman 8.58: My phone is being confiscated and examined while I'm escorted to a helicopter heading to the Supreme Court 9.04: Police issues a ticket because the snowpeople do not wear masks and there's not a distance of at least 6ft between them How to build a snowman in 2020...
  13. Veezle

    Things from childhood

    Some of the media I liked when I was young I truly appreciate much more as an adult since I can understand them better and acknowledge the work and inspiration behind them.
  14. Kieran :)

    Things from childhood

    Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. I love it and nostalgia.
  15. Perspektiv

    Has Cancel Culture Gone too Far?

    Seriously. Main reason I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account. Way too easy to be taken out of context. I remember being taken out of context in college in support of freedom of choice, vs siding with abortion being murder. Cue in heavy handed pressure from 40+ students. Even my friends remained silent, not wanting to come under that fire. I was hung out to dry. Even the teacher asked if I was okay, as the attack was blistering. It was a debate class so he didn't intervene, but made sure once their attacks turned personal. For me, I will not respect someone who wilts under that pressure and switches opinions, unless its a genuine change and not just to shut up their detractors. Pressuring people to align with your opinions or they are canceled is crazy. But, yeah all for connecting with others especially at social events and stopping to accept plumbing as part of our new phone etiquette.
  16. SocialMorays

    Things from childhood

    The music that has the most nostalgia for me is the old blues artists. My dad had a Muddy Waters CD in the car that I would ask him to play over and over as a kid, and to this day, hearing one of those songs brings me right back. In retrospect, I was a pretty strange child. My mother is a former country singer who's into the classics (Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, et al) as well as the gospel and R&B vocalists who influenced her (Etta James, Mavis Staples, Mahalia Jackson, Merry Clayton, etc.) I'll always associate those artists warmly with her as well.
  17. Today
  18. Perspektiv

    Has Cancel Culture Gone too Far?

    I see what you did there.
  19. Mizzletoe

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for not having a sock account.
  20. FaerieFate

    A moderator for chat

    It's my understanding that all mods have basic modding functionality on chat, and all admins can do the same thing I can with chat. My role as chat admin just means I'm there to handle reports if they get submitted. Besides, the modding functionality for active chat mods and admins doesn't work properly. I've tried. It also doesn't help that chat doesn't work on mobile. I'm on AVEN on mobile all the time.
  21. GhoulFriend

    Post Graduation

    I started in an internship right after graduation which has now led into a full time job. So I'm pretty happy about that!
  22. Quasar.w

    Things from childhood

    For me it's mainly certain books and the game Wind Waker (from the Zelda series). It's partly nostalgia, partly "they're just great"
  23. @Kieran :) it sounds like you're younger than I was when I finally confronted this stuff (in my late 30s!) I don't envy the added worries people might have in adolescence, worrying about which hormonal state they want their puberty to be. Growing up, the only options I "knew" were male or female, so the increased presence and visibility of non-binary people helped me a lot. Also, I think my experience of gender changed a lot due to various context and events during my 20s and 30s. (A particular event/experience in 2013 triggered a major change… but transitioning to male didn't feel right; by 2018 I discovered "non-binary" was the option I needed.)
  24. GhoulFriend

    Something you hate that everybody else likes?

    The list could go on, but here's my top five! -Most modern pop music -Coca Cola and Pepsi - I just don't like the taste/color! -Starbucks coffee -Sports -Reality shows, sitcoms, basically all the popular stuff on TV right now!
  25. So I got the same reaction from a GP when I said I'd never been to one. I've only had penetrative sex a couple of times. My GP recommended his wife's gyno and I went. I tried to tell the gyno how I feel about the whole business (much like how you feel, I think) and she insisted that all women feel that way. She started to do the pap smear and I couldn't get through it. I screamed and cried and it was humiliating. I was such a mess that she stopped the exam. She seemed annoyed and complained that she wasn't even able to reach my cervix because of my reaction. She asked, "Have you ever had sex?" kind of incredulously. She said she'd never had someone cry over a pap smear and she laughed. It was the worst. On top of that, I had pain in that region for almost a year later if I did anything other than sit or lie down. I don't know that I will ever go back. So I'm not saying all this to scare you, but I'm leading up to how you can avoid making the same mistakes I did and maybe it'll turn out much better if you decide to go through with it. When she was dismissive and said that all women feel the way I do, that should have been my cue to just leave. If you go in to see someone, and you're trying to explain why you don't want to do this to begin with and they act like your concerns aren't worth taking seriously, just walk out. No reason to feel obligated to see the visit through. But in addition to that, I would make an appointment just to talk and find out if that gyno is right for you. Tell them that your feeling is that you don't want anyone to touch you there, at all, ever. That you feel that strongly about it. If you don't feel confident after your talk that this doctor understands how you feel and can make it as comfortable and painless as humanly possible, then just don't make another appointment and try someone else when you feel up to it. Several people have told me that it'll work out better if I make it a two-appointment scenario wherein the first appointment is just talking about my reservations about it instead of them touching me. Best of luck to you. It's absolutely up to you whether you ever go, of course. ❤️
  26. Luvic

    Can Asexuals Kiss?

    Yeah. Some aces even have sex.
  27. DetectiveDayo

    Guess the word!

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