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  2. Sadwife1

    Is my husband asexual?

    Thank you for your response - what sort of other scenarios do you think it could be? I’m as certain as I can possibly be that he’s not having an affair at least in person (he literally has zero time unaccounted for)
  3. Sadwife1

    Is my husband asexual?

    Thanks for your response. I should clarify that he hasn’t (to my knowledge) lied about masturbating - he didn’t deny he did and used to but says he has had no desire to for quite some time. Is there something(s) which make you think he isn’t asexual besides previous cheating? I have a child with him and want to feel sure of any decisions I/we make which may impact my sons future with us separately or as a couple before they are made
  4. Cassie17

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Jeez. Freaking heck, what’s happening?
  5. Calligraphette_Coe

    Different Dysphorias

    With certain examples, some. For me, dysphoria is like a psychological auto-immune disease-- I feel like my inner feelings want to tear my body apart. Whereas a physical disease would have inflammation where the body tries to repair it self, I feel the auto-immune dysphoria's analogue would be shame and grief. It's like I want to sell my soul to the devil to get congruent, and he comes back with " Fifteen dollars of androgyny is the best I can do." Since I have already have ten dollars worth of natural androgyny, I lick my wounds and don't take him up on it. In my grief, I tell myself that I'm doing the best that I can-- it's never enough, but it's something. YMMV. ( Your Mileage May Vary).
  6. Cassie17

    Quickly, Before They See!

    18
  7. Sadwife1

    Is my husband asexual?

    Thanks for your reply and sorry to hear what happened in your relationship. Sorry late replying to messages I hadn’t realised anyone else had replied! Since last week my husband has admitted he doesn’t really experience any emotions but anger and stress. It’s been a very upsetting week.
  8. Cassie17

    Word association game

    Hilarious
  9. Cassie17

    Guess who comes next...

    Nah. Glyn again?
  10. XYZ96

    Pretzels

    The closest bakery to me doesn't sell pretzels, which when I found that out, one day when I really wanted a buttered pretzel, it was all I could think about all morning, absolutely baffled me, how could they not have pretzels, what bakery doesn't doesn't sell pretzels? I ended up having to go to the pastries and bread thing at the grocery store and get a pretzel there, but it wasn't all too great of a pretzel It's sad that the best pretzels I can get here are at a gas station, as long as they aren't out (but at least the gas station butters them, so I don't have to) (Friend of mine said I can't expect the same amount of pretzels in the North of Germany, where I now live, as there are in the south, where I used to live, but it's still sad... I like buttered pretzels) Anyways, generally, I like lye-knots better than pretzels, though I also really like pretzels (but only the fluffy kind, and I wipe off the salt)
  11. roland.o

    Am I grey-sexual?

    Maybe you could ponder a bit more about whether the 8 remote ones were actually attraction, or just fantasies? Do you feel so separated from the folks around you that you need or want a label for your sexuality? Even with only 3 persons you were sexually attracted to, you could consider yourself a sexual person who prefers to take things slowly, if you choose so. What you wrote about your romantic feelings sounds more gray to me. That also means that you do find people sexually attractive without having a romantic (or other?) interest in them. For that reason, just as a gut feeling, I'd recommend to hold off from picking a label for your sexuality right now. Spend some more time exploring your feelings. Hope this helps
  12. Wandering Daydreamer

    Change one letter

    Seal
  13. I would say, and have said, that I'm complete as I am and dont need to be in a relationship to be complete. I am happily single and secure in my ace/aro-ness.
  14. I’ve only experienced sexual attraction to one person and that is the guy I’ve been dating for about 6 months so far. When I first met him, we instantly became friends and got close to each other very quickly. I had never had a connection with someone like that before, where our personalities just seemed to click, we understood each other’s weird sense of humor, and hugging him was the most wonderful thing. I’m not sure exactly when it was that it occurred to me that I was sexually attracted to him, but maybe it was our first kiss, when I realized it was actually enjoyable. Before, kissing was just kind of boring. Soon after, sex became something I constantly thought about. It was weird, like I was a pubescent boy having a “sexual awakening”. It’s still weird to me now that I didn’t think about sex at all before. Also, when I started trying sexual things with him, I got a lot of pleasure out of it. It just became incredibly obvious that I’m demisexual. There was no question. I had never had a connection like that before or sexual attraction like that before. Whenever he needs an ego boost, I remind him that he’s the first person I was ever sexually attracted to. 😂 so that’s my experience! I hope it helps you figure things out.
  15. timewarp

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Yes.
  16. StomachGod

    Different Dysphorias

    I personally think dysphoria goes a bit deeper than simple physical/mental/social preferences. However all of these are things that can be symptoms of dysphoria. It's not that strange that you have a bit of a mixed bag if you sit in the neutral gender range, there is a lot of room for variation here after all. I guess if you are wondering if these are symptoms of dysphoria or not you need to ask yourself: Are these simply preferences? Or do you feel dysphoric when something reminds you that you are not matching these things? Or perhaps even euphoric when you are reminded of matching something? Either way, you don't have to have dysphoria to be androgyne, or indeed any non-binary or transgender. So even if it isn't dysphoria it doesn't invalidate you k?
  17. Strifed

    #AsexualProblems

    Oh really? that sounds nice! I'm the type of person that likes to live alone, but I'll still look into what states offer that... maybe I can become friends with someone and enjoy them enough that we can live together... but they'd have to be like an airline pilot or celebrity and never be home LMAO What type of games are you playing? 😂 The only type of game I can think of that gives you some benefits from getting married was Skyrim, and the "benefit" was so small it wasn't even worth it imo. Everything else I've played never required getting married or having a relationship/doing the nasty (minus GTA), and sometimes its not even an option. I mostly play as single dudes (and if I can make myself as a character I do!) saving the world from some evil force or dragons... and in one game a guy had a fiance but he acted like he didn't even like her RIP lmao. I can understand that. I thought about having a roommate briefly for the same reasons, but I thought, "Well I wouldn't save too much since it would be bills/grocery/messes/responsibilities/etc for two people instead of just me." I think it would help a bit, but for me personality the cons would outweigh the pros. I rather just pick up after myself and take care of myself honestly, and if I need a friend to help me with something I can call them Why not find another asexual to be in a relationship with? I can't say finding another would be easy (but hey you can find people on this site!), but it beats trying to compromise with someone that wants sex. Then you could have all the benefits of a relationship without the intimacy part!
  18. roland.o

    What am I?

    Hello and welcome to the AVEN forums, @Hepalien! Have some cake... I very much agree with @MacAran. I spent many years of my life thinking that someday, I would meet "The Right One", and suddenly become a person like everyone else, with a relationship, happily having deeply fulfilling sex, which of course I'd never do unless with "The Right One". Skip forward a few decades, and I still haven't found "The Right One". I have had sex, and it was OK for me, although it didn't give me much. All the importance that I once associated with it just turned into a romantic illusion and evaporated. Have you read about the different types of attraction yet? http://wiki.asexuality.org/Attraction Maybe you could start with figuring out your romantic orientation? Think about what kind of relationships you would like to have - platonic friendship, romantic, sexual? Build relationships gradually. Find platonic friends, bond with those, until you find someone who actually piques your romantic or sensual interest. Only then consider whether you want to take it further. Gradually extend your comfort zone with other people. And try to get rid of thoughts about "The Right One", and whether "this is it?". Make small decisions, live in the now, instead of waiting for the maybe future. Well, this has turned into rambling, but maybe you can find something useful in it anyway Good luck!
  19. I would probably tell the haters that sex is like sour candy. Some people love it, and some people hate it, and some people are in between. Your candy preference doesn’t make you less human, and neither should your sexuality
  20. Avee

    When love is not enough

    Thank you for your answer. It really made me feel better
  21. XYZ96

    This or That?

    Urban Sitcom or crime drama?
  22. Chloe O'Leary

    This or That?

    Late night. I'm barely human in the early morning - and that's after a pint of tea! Urban or rural?
  23. XYZ96

    Interview the person below you

    1. I don't know many directors, but I like Wes Anderson, so I guess I'll pick him 2. I don't play many video games, but as a kid, I really liked pokemon snap 3. Hitch Hiker's Guild to the Galaxy 1. What was your favorite subject in school? 2. What was your least favorite subject in school? 3. What is something you always or nearly always carry with you?
  24. Chloe O'Leary

    Romantic Attraction Frequency & Labels

    I'll only have very few cruses in a 5-year time span (I answered 1 or 2), but I identify as demiromantic, rather than grey.
  25. StomachGod

    When did you realise you are asexual?

    Might sound a bit strange, but I realized it pretty much the moment puberty started, along with my gender shitshow. It all just turned up and I went, "Oh, so that's how it is."... Of course at the time I didn't realize either thing was normal. So I just tried to hide it all since I didn't want my family to worry about me being "broken". I didn't know that any of that COULD be normal until I was in University... Better education could save a lot of youths the same pain in future.
  26. CaptainMarvel

    Quickly, Before They See!

    17
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