ApplePie

Masturbating A's: what do you think about when masturbating?

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ApplePie   
ApplePie

Question for those who identify as asexual and masturbate: what do you think about when you masturbate to assist in arousal, if anything?

I appreciate this may be very personal, hence many will understandably choose not to answer.

Why I ask: this is one of the most basic questions posed by psychosexual therapists to get an insight into the sexual interest(s) of a person or to understand the nature of a sexual dysfunction. It's a question sometimes answered untruthfully or hesitantly (particularly at initial consultations) and is highly useful.

Related thread which provoked this question: Question for A's who masturbate

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Latin Rose   
Latin Rose
It's a question sometimes answered untruthfully or hesitantly (particularly at initial consultations) and is highly useful.

what's it useful for?

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Shockwave   
Shockwave

The pleasure derived from orgasm.

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zyralm   
zyralm

(male) I try not to think about what I'm thinking about or else I have to start over... my fantasies never involve a person I know, though, if that helps.

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Vicious Trollop   
Vicious Trollop

At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

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TangerinePanda   
TangerinePanda
At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

I'm with you. I usually think of my favorite fictional characters having sex. But never myself.

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Shivers   
Shivers

Generally speaking, I only really think of cuddling, believe it or not. Usually, not a specific person or anything, just a "generic human". Gender not really defined as I dont actually think about sex itself.

My thoughts wander, too. I often stop halfway through because my thoughts have drifted so far off topic.

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Jesh   
Jesh

If I focus on one thing I get turned off pretty fast, so I generally try not to think of anything at all.

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Cate Perfect   
Cate Perfect

Um...uh...um...uh...gee, ask a pairsonal question, there, Apple.

I think about snuggles in a library with an older professorial type, if you must know.

Cate

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Squick   
Squick

*cough*Remus/Sirius*cough* And I imagine myself as Remus. *runs away*

(Yeah, I'm a gay man in a woman's body.)

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Vicious Trollop   
Vicious Trollop
*cough*Remus/Sirius*cough* And I imagine myself as Remus. *runs away*

(Yeah, I'm a gay man in a woman's body.)

You are awesome! I go through rounds with this one now and then -- I imagine myself as Sirius, incidentally. :D

I should add, then, although I never picture myself in any scenarios, I do usually associate with another person...

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Squick   
Squick

Gee, I'd say we should get together on this, but...I guess not. :D

If we really want to get down and dirty about thoughts...when I first started, it was generally me lying in a bubble bath, candles, the whole deal, with the guy just sitting next to the tub. It was sickeningly dull. Actually, that wasn't the first time, but I'm just not even going there. Mainly, it's been more about humiliation issues, actually, until I found slash.

I'm not A myself--I consider myself pseudo-asexual/pseudo-bisexual. But even though I like guys, there have only been a few occasions I've imagined a guy putting it in me during the masturbatory process.

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(SP)   
(SP)

Good question.

The short answer is... nothing.

The longer answer is a concentration on the physical feeling of sexual functioning, and sometimes on emotional and *spiritual feelings of the experience.

*-this is sort of difficult to explain what I mean exactly...

I guess because I only have to think of things like that my mind is able to think of other things but those other things wouldn't be in order to proceed with sexual functioning or cause arousal.

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Ack42   
Ack42

Since I have a fetish interest of bondage; I imagine 1) a woman wrapped in the embrace of straps of leather or a straitjacket or straitsack (think sleeping bag so tight you can't move), 2) a woman binding me in the above ways, 3) a women clad in leather (fully clad like the X-women in those leather uniforms in the X-men movies. )

I think it's something to do with simulating the feel of a hug... BTW I like such imagery without nudity or sex, but with caressing and nurturing (hand-feeding, comforting...)

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TeddyMiller   
TeddyMiller
At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

That's pretty much me as well. I think of sexual scenarios, but they always involve fictional or generic characters; fantasizing about someone I actually know wouldn't appeal to me, and would feel rude or embarrassing. And it's scenes in 3rd person; I may have a generic male character which is kind of me, but it's still separate from me, mentally watched rather than participated in.

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Eta Carinae   
Eta Carinae
At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

That's pretty much me as well. I think of sexual scenarios, but they always involve fictional or generic characters; fantasizing about someone I actually know wouldn't appeal to me, and would feel rude or embarrassing. And it's scenes in 3rd person; I may have a generic male character which is kind of me, but it's still separate from me, mentally watched rather than participated in.

That's more or less me, too: I don't use characters from books/TV/movies or people I know, because it feels embarrassing and awkward and, in the case of the latter, intrusive. I just stick generic people in a scene, though I keep the mental visuals down to a minimum. The sexual appeal comes from the mood of the scene; it's the same thing as reading a sad little story and becoming sad myself, except with arousal. The point isn't voyeurism, either: the scene doesn't turn me on because I'm watching it, it turns me on because it's sexually charged (and I'm acting as an emotional leech). I may have a character that I identify more with (sort of like Teddy's generic male), but it's not a stand-in for me; it acts like a viewpoint chararcter in fiction.

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Amcan   
Amcan

I think about fictional chracters.

But it's them on their own...not invloving me.

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Yoda   
Yoda

I tend to imagine sexual situations, although often they don't involve me in a physical sense. I might have a few voyeuristic tendencies in that respect I think.

It might also explain why I can get excited by pronography but the thought of me doing similar things to 'real people' is nothing that appeals to me.

I am perfectly capable fo thinking of nothing, but it takes longer to reach orgasm that way. At the moment I have a form of disability with my arms so I guess I need all the stimulus I can get to get things over and done with as quickly as possible. lol

If I didn't have to 'take care' of things that would be great. As soon as its over with my clarity returns and I feel normal (for me) again. Its almost like a chore really at times.

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bard of aven   
bard of aven
I tend to imagine sexual situations, although often they don't involve me in a physical sense. I might have a few voyeuristic tendencies in that respect I think.

It might also explain why I can get excited by pronography but the thought of me doing similar things to 'real people' is nothing that appeals to me.

I am perfectly capable fo thinking of nothing, but it takes longer to reach orgasm that way.[snip]

As soon as its over with my clarity returns and I feel normal (for me) again. Its almost like a chore really at times.

Ditto, as edited.

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ApplePie   
ApplePie
It's a question sometimes answered untruthfully or hesitantly (particularly at initial consultations) and is highly useful.

what's it useful for?

It helps a therapist understand the specific nature of the stimuli which results in arousal for a person.

I understand people who seek help with sexual problems (of just about any type, e.g. disinterest, fear of failure, excessive interest, interest in things which they wish they weren't, fetishes which disturb them etc) will sometimes conceal the true nature of their 'turn-ons' or perhaps modify or 'dilute' the extent of it as they are embarrassed or ashamed. It's this anxiety which can often be the cause of their 'problem' which needs addressing.

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Wild Seven   
Wild Seven
My thoughts wander, too. I often stop halfway through because my thoughts have drifted so far off topic.

Spock, don't do this to me. You are really like my twin, ya know? Wow, I have a twin and I haven't known it for 17 years of my life.. yay yay

I too often command myself like "hey girl, where is that boy from your fantasy? Oh, gosh, I am off the road. Gonna think about cosmology" or something of the sort.. I gave up masturbation because my thoughts wander soo much and my hands become tired of it :lol:

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Shivers   
Shivers

*giggles* Yay, my very own aventwin! (-:þ

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The Somber One   
The Somber One

I have my well documented fetish to masterbate to.

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emmaseek   
emmaseek

I, too, think of other people having sex (not always fictional). Never myself, though; although I may choose to identify more with one person than the other.

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Mith   
Mith

I always think about other people, never myself. And I think about things I've seen. Erotic things and some fetishes. I usually think, though, that if someone else is turned on by it then I should be too, and that usually works. And sadly, I am turned on by cutting myself, but I don't think about that when I'm masturbating.

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Guest cases   
Guest cases

:( um........ :shock: .............im shy :roll:

but wait Im not Asexual...i guess....so do i count?

well.......what I think about is boring and unintersting anyway....basicaly me having sex with a women......*jumps out the window*

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synx13   
synx13

It's in my sexual fantasies I come closest to having to call myself poly, bi, and generally twisted in unusual fashions. About the only things I don't fantasize about are pain and humiliation. Which pretty much puts all of the standard motives for BDS and M right out the window.

I have always gotten a kick about writing erotic scenes. It's odd really, but it's just so interesting to describe in a scene the different ways that people could end up having sex. And then when I'm around in real life, it just doesn't carry over at all. Which is a good thing really, because some of these scenes...

I say scene, not story, because scenes do not have plot development, or at least very little. They are a moment in time, an encounter, a tryst. My stories, when I used to be able to write them, rarely involve sex at all. Although there's a story I was working on, where I was going to try to include a couple in it.

As for the actual things I fantasize about... well I might get in trouble for this, but I like that "furry" type zoomorphic stuff, and really, animals in general. :oops: I used to love watching when they'd reveal something on the Discovery channel, though thankfully I never quite seemed able to get comfortable with how insects do it. So yeah, sometimes animals, and their bodies and anatomy (and not usually the genitals either, depending), and how they'd go about doing it with each other if they were so inclined to do so in a way humans, or at least this human, can relate to sexually.

Mathematics? :? I can't really explain this one, but sometimes I have been utterly aroused and incensed by the poetic beauty in that science of numbers. Believe it or not I read a story by another person, that deals with the same scene. Imagine describing the triangular number set by tracing with dots in a circle on their bare tummy... yeah good stuff.

How about... well, when I do fantasize about the sexual experience, it's really physical and anatomical and stuff. I'm just a Biologist at heart I guess. During a masturbation session, imagining the feel of the vaginal fluid can physically jolt my body with arousal, and just holding the simple image of the feel of hips, and the famous squeeze, it can somehow have a real effect, as if I was actually doing it. Brings to mind the famous succubi legend, of the demonic vixens who descend upon the hapless males in their bed, and then vanishes the moment the deed is done.

...

You know, you really shouldn't have got me started on this. I still don't want to have sex! This is all like, fantasy stuff. Sex is one of those things it'd take a whole lot more convincing than just "it feels good" to inspire me to do such a weird thing. But we cannot control what we imagine, because once you decide not to imagine something you've already imagined it. And once the stimulation begins, thoughts intrude that would not play a part in my head during other times.

It's weird really, almost like a switch. Suddenly one's every thought is focused on the desired goal, but before and afterwards one has no urge or inclination to pursue it. It's like not wanting chocolate ice cream, and then as soon as you start eating it, it's the best thing in the world and you can't slow down until you stop. And then after orgasm you don't like chocolate ice cream again. wtf?

The male sexual response will always be a mystery to me. :(

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Wild Seven   
Wild Seven
:( um........ :shock: .............im shy :roll:

but wait Im not Asexual...i guess....so do i count?

well.......what I think about is boring and unintersting anyway....basicaly me having sex with a women......*jumps out the window*

Aaa.. nevermind, you do, even if you are who you are.. it is always interesting to compare opinions at least :)

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Guest cases   
Guest cases
:( um........ :shock: .............im shy :roll:

but wait Im not Asexual...i guess....so do i count?

well.......what I think about is boring and unintersting anyway....basicaly me having sex with a women......*jumps out the window*

Aaa.. nevermind, you do, even if you are who you are.. it is always interesting to compare opinions at least :)

*jump back thrue the window*

thankyou.... :)

well I mean thats basicaly it.....there are the details....but thats too personal......so unless you can read my thoughts....your out of luck.....

*tips aluminum foil hat*

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