Have you ever confused aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction?

[floraXorXfauna]

I completely get what everyone here is saying. I identify as demi-homoromantic because I think if I ever were to be in a romantic relationship it would be with a girl; and I also find girls incredibly beautiful to look at :) (so i guess that's where the aesthetic attraction comes from) but also hold hands with, cuddle etc. whilst guys-just no, I wasn't attracted to at all. And when I was younger i did have quite a high sex drive (what with the raging teen hormones)- so ultimately to me I though: 'oh, i must be a lesbian'.

But now I realise that I didnt really WANT to have sex with those girls I saw; which did confuse and upset me a lot, because I just didnt know where I fitted in, certainly not in the gay community.

But then I learnt all about asexuality, so happy days! I'm not as strange as I thought :P

[ItAllMakesSense]

No because I don't associate the attraction to anything leading to sex. For example, if I see a sweaty guy walking down the street, I'd most likely admire his frame, and that's all. I wouldn't think of trying to "bed" him or get more from him. So no, I don't confuse aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction. Probably because I'm not focused on sex.

[MadRat]

Yes, almost for my whole life.

[kiaroskuro]

It took me ages to find out that other people are attracted to others differently than I do. It's a bit embarrassing, really, but I only recently found out that such a thing as aesthetic attraction even exists - although I personally don't like to use that term. When I fall in love with a person, objective criteria of beauty or handsomeness don't really play a role.

[ihaveleftbye]

I honestly have never experienced aesthetic attraction and the whole concept is quite confusing to me to be honest. I've experienced romantic and sensual attraction towards people based strictly on their personality attracting me to them. I've also never experienced sexual attraction towards anyone yet in life either. I haven't had a stable healthy relationship that's lasted long enough to get to that point yet.

[Guest fernweh]

Yessss. Aesthetics are so important to me. Pretty clothes.

When I first suspected I was asexual, I was like, that's impossible, I have so many crushes. But then...wait...those crushes are almost entirely based on me thinking "wow, that person is so pretty" and mooning after them, especially around middle school. Even when my crush is not based on physical appearance, it's more that they have a beautiful sort of aura or existence.

I eventually realized that I almost never thought about having sex with these people, and if I did, it was out of curiosity or a sensual attraction (kissing might occasionally be good?), not an actual desire to do so.

this is how i am! more or less exactly. i'm not like, put off by the thought of kissing/sex, but it isn't something i actively want in the least. all of my crushes/love interests have just been people i was very close with emotionally and/or just really admired, be it for their aesthetics or their personalities or what-have-you. it took me the longest time to realize that the majority of people were in a different boat, because i just assumed that that was the same kind of attraction everyone experienced.

[I'd rather be in band.]

I only confused aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction because I thought that simply thinking that someone looked nice was sexual attraction since I had really never experienced either of them. I just have a complete disinterest in peoples' appearances unless I'm acquainting with them.

[NamelessAnonymous]

I thought this for years. Being a very artistic person, I've always loved clothes and how people look in things that are supposed to be sexual. Like lingerie for example - I love it because it's so pretty and it looks nice. Other people seemed to have a reaction other than just "I want to draw you and stare at you forever" and I assumed I must feel that too so I had to be a lesbian. Also, regarding aesthetic attraction, I seem to not be able to tell when men are attractive. I know the obvious things like smooth skin and nice hair are supposed to be considered attractive but sometimes a girl will say something like "oh, he's so hot" about a guy that I know and I will be completely shocked because I never viewed them as anything in particular. I definitely notice aesthetic attractiveness with girls though and I get super nervous around pretty girls so I just assumed that because I viewed girls so drastically different from how I saw boys, I must be sexually attracted to them.

[Enki]

What I've felt for most of my crushes has been a strong aesthetic attraction. I have a very high sex drive, but I rarely feel sexual attraction unless I'm in love with their personality.

[kulosle]

Males are raised to believe that they are the same thing even though we are told that they aren't. I'm not sure if women are also but i do know that women are allowed to judge each other looks but men aren't (this is actually really hard for me to discuss as it brings up bad memories). We are told that you can judge physical attraction without wanting to date that person. like telling your sister she looks good in a certain outfit. But when you like someone you are suppose to find them physically attractive. This is never explicitly said. Always worded like, you can't tell your significant they look bad. It's a fact of life that you have to be physically attracted to someone to be attracted to them in any other way. Also when you are romantically attracted to someone you are suppose to be sexually attracted to them. I lost the first half of my significants because of not moving quickly enough even though i never wanted to move forward at all (all though i didn't have the insight to know that at the time). This lead to a steep decline of overcompensating, moving faster and faster each time i was told i have to be more sexually active with someone for them to like romantically. The idea was so enforced on me that once someone finally told me that they wanted to move slower i was shocked and offended that they didn't care about me enough to move forward (I'm sure this idea actually plays into rape culture). I have never been aesthetically attracted to anyone or anything (besides Starry Night). I have been romantically attracted to dozens of people. And sexually attracted to a few. They are very different and in no way dependent on each other.