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What's the difference between aesthetic/sensual attraction and sexual attraction?


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I'm still not sure about how to distinguish aesthetic/sensual attraction to sexual attraction and the avenwiki page doesn't actually explain this completely. If a person gets turned on by looking at a person's body or touching a person's body but has no desire to have sex with that person would that still be considered an aesthetic/sensual attraction or would that be considered sexual attraction?

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SorryNotSorry

I can only speak from my own POV, but yes, I think aesthetic attraction excludes the desire to have sex. I find some women beautiful AND nice, but I have no desire to have sex with them even if I do feel romantic attraction to them.

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I can only speak from my own POV, but yes, I think aesthetic attraction excludes the desire to have sex. I find some women beautiful AND nice, but I have no desire to have sex with them even if I do feel romantic attraction to them.

So would looking at a beautiful painting or seeing a nice car count as an aesthetic attraction or does the person have to get turned on by the aesthetics for it to be considered an aesthetic attraction? If the person is turned on by the aesthetics does that make it a sexual attraction?

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Janus the Fox

This image always helps things :)

zlo2z.jpg

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I'm not an expert on this, but I think it's a personal opinion on the matter. For instance, aesthetic and physical attraction are not related to sexual attraction in my opinion. (Sorry if I repeat anything you may have read elsewhere--) Aesthetic attraction is like an appreciation for someone's physical appearance or portrayal. There doesn't have to be a physical reaction/you don't have to be 'turned on' for it to be an aesthetic attraction. It may include a desire to talk to them, or be close to them for some people, but that doesn't have to be present for it to be an aesthetic attraction.

Physical attraction can initially be like aesthetic attraction, where you're attracted to their physical appearance, but it may also include that urge to be close to someone, and have some kind of physical contact. I've felt it multiple times, where I enjoy someone being near me, and I adore cuddling. I'm even sometimes alright with kissing good friends, and I don't see that as too weird or sexual at all. Of course, that's until saliva and tongues become involved. The few I've kissed like that (either in one of my three relationships, or at a few birthday parties....) tell me that I'm very good, but just because I hold a talent there doesn't mean I enjoy it. Mentally, I freak out and my brain closes down all walls, wondering frantically what the hell I'm doing, and why. I don't like to lead people on and have them think that I desire to be sexual. Some people (normally sexuals) would argue that they are all one in the same, but again, I imagine it differs for every person.

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This image always helps things :)

zlo2z.jpg

That picture helped. That means I do actually have a sensual and aesthetic attraction to men as I thought. I'm just not sure if it's sexual because I do masturbate to me doing sensual stuff with men (even something as basic as an attractive man shaking my hand), but I never masturbated to me doing sexual stuff with men like making out, oral, anal, etc.

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VindicatorPhoenix

PerfectlyDarkTails explained this perfectly with the pictures. :D All types of attractions are independent of each other and many combinations can exist for a given person. For example, I have sensual attraction but not sexual attraction. I like being in physical contact with certain people but never while naked or in sexual ways. I also have aesthetic as opposed to sexual attraction. I don't perceive people to be "hot" or "sexy," but rather handsome, cute, or pretty; curves and muscles are irrelevant to me. It's actually kind of cool that I experience the bottom three picture types but none of the top three.

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This image always helps things :)

What JR described isn't on the image. He's talking about getting sexually aroused by someone without the desire for sex with that person.

I would say that that's not any kind of attraction at all. It's just arousal. Something can arouse you without you being attracted to it

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lol this is why I confuse people. Because I describe other people as "hot" (for example, Tom Hiddleston. meow.) And even have him as the background on my phone. I don't want to have sex with him. Honestly, if I met him I would probably just be like hey, you're beautiful. And then leave. My loins wouldn't explode.

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  • 3 weeks later...

lol this is why I confuse people. Because I describe other people as "hot" (for example, Tom Hiddleston. meow.) And even have him as the background on my phone. I don't want to have sex with him. Honestly, if I met him I would probably just be like hey, you're beautiful. And then leave. My loins wouldn't explode.

I can totally relate to this! I get crushes and I also describe other people as "hot" But I also think if I ever actually met anyone famous ( Robert Downey Jr. or Benedict Cumberbatch) I would probably tell them how talented they are and that they're beautiful before leaving.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

Enjoying/liking their features, but not feeling that that should make you want to bump genitals with them.

My definition of aesthetic appreciation

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editingatwork

I'm glad I found this thread and these posts, because this sounds a lot like me. I've made out with guys before and enjoyed it even, in an affectionate, emotionally intimate and tactilely (is that a word??) satisfying way. But the second someone wants to get naked or do something involving genitals, I get turned off or bored. The few times I've had sex I spent it waiting for it to be over, because I wasn't getting anything out of it. Similarly, if making out goes on too long, I get bored with that, too. Even if my body is aroused, my brain is like, "Whelp, I've gotten all I wanted out of this, which was closeness. On to the next activity!" For me, no part of kissing or making out is ever going to lead to a desire for sex. I'd get just as much out of a massage or a long hug, as long as there was contact with someone in an affectionate way that affirmed our emotional connection.

And then sometimes I don't even want contact, I'd much rather have a long conversation or do a mutually fun activity. :)

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RainbowGalaxy

I actually really enjoy being naked with someone I love. It's a really nice feeling to feel their skin on yours and kiss/caress/massage them. That's my particular brand of sensual attraction, anyway.

That's my just "final base." I don't see any need to bring genitals into it after that.

Which is why it sucks being asexual, cause I want to stop there, and for sexual people that's pretty much the last place they want to stop at. :rolleyes: Means I end up avoiding it anyway, because it's so hard to be naked with someone and for them not to take it sexually.

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Enjoying/liking their features, but not feeling that that should make you want to bump genitals with them.

My definition of aesthetic appreciation

I love your user name! (And I agree with you on your definition)

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I also have a question on this, as well. What I consider aesthetic attraction can also be arousing to me, and to take care of that I often picture that specific person in a sexual act, although it's rather blurry and more focused on the waist up. I'm never involved with the fantasy and as soon as the urge is gone, I go back to normal and jut appreciate the person's appearance and not want to do anything with them. Would that still be aesthetic attraction or be crossing the line into sexual attraction, although I have no desire to do it myself?

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NewfangledArtist

I feel some aesthetic attraction towards men, but it doesn't mean I want sex with them. It's odd I suppose, I think of it no differently as looking and admiring a sunset. It's the same kinda enjoyment for me. I want to do nothing to either a beautiful man or a beautiful sunset...not that I could fook a sunset even if I wanted to - but you get my point (I hope) :P Visually appreciating seems to be all I take from them both, I don't want more whether it be sexually or even romantically.

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