Jump to content


Photo

what does arousal feel like?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 theotherfey

theotherfey

    Amoeba Colony

  • AVEN Members
  • 115 posts
  • Gender:female
  • Location:Oregon
  • A/Sexuality:asexual, biromantic.

Posted 16 February 2014 - 11:52 PM

Asexual or not, I know there are some people on AVEN who have experienced arousal, like during masturbation or watching porn. This does not mean they desire partnered sex, but they still experience arousal. My question (and I realize this is an awkward question, you don't have to answer if you don't want), what does arousal fee like? Sometimes, when I read or write a sex scene, I feel "warm", but does that qualify as arousal? I don't masturbate (I find that part of the body gross, so I don't like touching it), so I don't know what arousal is like. How do you know when you're aroused?


  • romantic-woman likes this

#2 ZetaFunction

ZetaFunction

    Newbie

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Posted 17 February 2014 - 12:32 AM

That sounds like arousal... When I get aroused, I have "warm" feelings as well as an increased awareness of that area, and the skin there becomes much more sensitive. I may also get hard or at least a bit more swollen down there.



#3 Lesning

Lesning

    A-Mazing

  • AVEN Members
  • 80 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Spain
  • A/Sexuality:Heteroromantic asexual or maybe demisexual. Not sure.

Posted 17 February 2014 - 12:52 AM

It's like a strong tingling sensation in that part of your body... A curious thing happens to me, and I think I can comment it on this topic; I don't need to touch myself to masturbate, tighten my thighs is enough. I have researched and it seems that is something that happens to a very small part of the population. So, I don't know how is the feeling in other body parts beyond that. 


"Unnoticed by anyone, all alone, she is ascending, she fears nothing, and soars up high"

 

http://firstoneofmykind.tumblr.com/


#4 knout

knout

    Asexy Samurai

  • AVEN Members
  • 940 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Geneva, Switzerland
  • A/Sexuality:A

Posted 17 February 2014 - 12:56 AM

I'd say there's two kinds (or parts) of arousals, which combined together usually make people desire to experience sexual feelings of some sorts.

The one you describe is purely physical and it's just a bodily response to anything. The body manifests itself in the area by slight but noticeable changes... No need to go into details here I think

The second kind is a mental image, fantasy or whatever thought that is considered pleasurable and that will induce the physical changes of state one.

When you get both at the same time, you can call that arousal or desire...

 

Having only the first one is simply biological (even if some people do not experience it at all) and it's just some sort of routine that the body does to make sure the parts are functional...

 

One can be physically aroused but not have any reason for it in their mind and it's purely coincidental. One can be physically aroused as a response to a thought they had or images (that's where porn usually comes into play) and that's the most common and what makes sexual people link their thoughts and body arousal together. And finally, one can be mentally aroused but not physically, which creates a lot of issues for people who actually would want to indulge in sexual activities but can't.

 

That's the way I see it at least, I hope I'm being clear enough.

Also, there's no reason to think one way is better than another, there's no perfect way to feel arousal. Different people, different thoughts, different bodies.


  • Averroes likes this

#5 LordShinigamiSkullKitty

LordShinigamiSkullKitty

    Mad As The Hatter Baking Batter

  • AVEN Members
  • 864 posts
  • Gender:Neutrois
  • Pronouns:Neutral/Male Pronouns
  • Location:In the mind, I can be anywhere I wish!
  • A/Sexuality:Non-libidoist Sex-Romance Repulsed Aromantic Asexual

Posted 17 February 2014 - 01:56 AM

In my opinion, most people respond to sexual things. What you are feeling is your body's response to sex, which is natural in our primitive brain (I forgot what that part of the brain was called, but it controls arousal). We can get aroused (even if it is involuntarily) by almost anything you can think of....even disturbing things such as rape! Your body is just responding naturally to sex, so that warm feeling is probably a response to that sexual thought. Your primitive brain is thinking "I see sex!", so that warm feeling might be blood rushing downward...an indicator of arousal. I would not worry about it much. It does not mean anything. It is just your biology doing something it was programmed to. That is what motivates most humans to copulate (though not asexuals).

 

I experience some form of "arousal", though I personally do not consider it sexual. Sometimes I will get a response to seeing something scary (I do not like scary things at all) or surprising (such as a sudden hug, kiss, or touch). I also get this response to things I do not like (such as vomit...basically anything that is repulsive to me). It might still be arousal, but it is most certainly not sexual. Strange...but anxiety is somewhat similar to sexual arousal in certain ways (only it feels terrible...I never actually felt sexual arousal and anxiety is awful). I do not masturbate either, nor do I have a desire to. Since these feelings are not sexual to me, why would I anyway? I have better things to do than do THAT (no offense to anyone who does masturbate. I just personally do not do it)!

 

We have sensations in our regions all the time, but we do not feel them most of the time (unless we focus upon them). Arousal sometimes just appears for no reason because our body loves teasing us for some reason.  -_- Anyway, interpret it as any way you want to. I cannot tell you how you feel.


  • romantic-woman likes this

Everyone is simply mad! Don't you know???


#6 humanbeing

humanbeing

    Member

  • AVEN Members
  • 35 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Turkey
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual hetero-fetishist

Posted 17 February 2014 - 04:25 AM

As a prisoner of masturbation, I wish I didn't have the arousal thing.

But it makes easy for me to have emphaty with sexual people and not to judge them.

Still, I think the asexuals who don't have to masturbate or don't even experience arousals are more lucky than me.

For me it's like my body becomes illogical, with a strange sense of joy, and a lot of stress because of the sperms my body made. And I have to think about my weird and illogical fetishes and throw the weird joy-like feeling out of my body and it's very hard for me to concenterate on something I find highly illogical (My brain works very fast and strictly logical most the time. I don't fall in love for instance, my brain keeps telling me that it's just illogical and then I become ashamed of myself for leaving the path of logic) and so the somehow joyful act of masturbation gets longer and longer, just today it got me more than 2 hours to ejaculate it's very tiring, both physically and emotionally.

And I feel guilty for the real people I masturbate to. I don't think about having sex with anyone, just mad illogical fetishes and I couldn't just masturbate to unreal fictional characters made up by me, It didn't work because it's already too hard for me to concenterate to real people, even harder with made up people. My body's obligaions usually become tiredness and time loss, and I disrespected some real people every time by masturbating to them. It's like if another person would masturbate to me without my permission, I would totally deserve it. It would be both justice and revenge for the disrespect I did for those poor innocent victims of mine. They don't even know what I've been doing. My conscience insists that it's highly unethical.


  • Mysticus Insanus likes this

#7 Averroes

Averroes

    Mega Mitosis

  • AVEN Members
  • 203 posts
  • Gender:Male (But apathetic about it)
  • Location:UK/Central Europe
  • A/Sexuality:Grey-Romantic Asexual

Posted 17 February 2014 - 08:27 AM

I think Knout hit the nail on the head by pointing out that there are two types of arousal, physical and psychological.  In my experience, the psychological kind is like a strong rush of giddiness, a sort of feeling that takes over, that fills you up and puts you on edge.  If it's a particular strong response, the sensation might make you tremble.  At the same time, I find that it's not entirely a 'good' feeling.  It feels cloying and sickly, and lacks all subtlety-- an analogy might be made with the kind of chocolate you liked as a kid, but you now find too sweet by half.  Now, the strength of the response probably fluctuates with time; the last time I felt 'seriously' aroused was on the night of my 18th birthday two years ago, and now I've become pretty much nonlibidoist.


  • knout and romantic-woman like this

"You want to know what I think? I think you're some kind of deviated prevert"


#8 romantic-woman

romantic-woman

    Ace queen

  • AVEN Members
  • 223 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Pronouns:she!
  • Location:Athens, Greece
  • A/Sexuality:heteroromantic ace, sex repulsed, -aesthetic-

Posted 17 February 2014 - 08:33 AM

 i have this feeling as u said but i dont like to touch myself. It seems like this warmth comes and goes on its own


i am just me...


#9 Neurula

Neurula

    Mega Mitosis

  • AVEN Members
  • 219 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Texas

Posted 17 February 2014 - 11:21 AM

Asexual or not, I know there are some people on AVEN who have experienced arousal, like during masturbation or watching porn. This does not mean they desire partnered sex, but they still experience arousal. My question (and I realize this is an awkward question, you don't have to answer if you don't want), what does arousal fee like? Sometimes, when I read or write a sex scene, I feel "warm", but does that qualify as arousal? I don't masturbate (I find that part of the body gross, so I don't like touching it), so I don't know what arousal is like. How do you know when you're aroused?

I'm very familiar with arousal, and it is what makes me assume I would enjoy sex. However, I have yet to meet anyone and think "there's the person I want to have sex with."

Anyway, arousal for me as a female (I'm going to get graphic) occurs mainly in the vagina. (Wow, I sound so unscientific.) The vagina moistens itself. This can be felt. Additionally, the vagina becomes more tense and obvious, and it becomes more apparent that it's an opening. It's as if the vagina is preparing for entry of a penis. As for warmth, I'm not sure I experience that. The experience I described above is very, very obvious, and you would know if it were occuring.

 

This is my experience anyway.


After nearly a year on AVEN, I fully understand that I do not experience attraction. And that's fine by me!


#10 FiddleKid

FiddleKid

    Asexy

  • AVEN Members
  • 418 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • A/Sexuality:Aromantic asexual

Posted 17 February 2014 - 01:45 PM

I don't masturbate so I don't know but it has been described as a warm tingling down there but I couldn't say anymore as I've never felt it



#11 . . .but there are sounds

. . .but there are sounds

    AVENissimo

  • Moderators
  • 5,992 posts
  • Location:Vancouver
  • A/Sexuality:romantic asexual

Posted 17 February 2014 - 05:22 PM

This thread was moved from Asexual Musings and Rantings to Asexual Q&A.

 

. . .but there are sounds,

Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator


Will respond to: but there are sounds, Sounds, sounds, dots, dotty, Zoundz, noise, noisy, noises, btas, bats, STAB, stab, stabby, Jake, jake, J, Jakeadoodle, dotbats, butth, Stabitions, evilbats, Jabutts

Imagine a culture where everyone laughs spontaneously when someone says "this is real." - Jean Baudrillard
The world is too much with us . . . we lay waste our powers - William Wordsworth
Negative Capacity; that is, when man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason - John Keats
On Gender: lovely shapes folded out of blue and pink social construction paper - Me
The end is not yet written - Rand Miller

viva le revolution

Posted Image

#12 theotherfey

theotherfey

    Amoeba Colony

  • AVEN Members
  • 115 posts
  • Gender:female
  • Location:Oregon
  • A/Sexuality:asexual, biromantic.

Posted 18 February 2014 - 02:48 AM

Thanks for your input, everyone! I appreciate the insights



#13 WhenSummersGone

WhenSummersGone

    **********

  • AVEN Members
  • 4,062 posts
  • Gender:Demigirl
  • Pronouns:They
  • Location:Canada
  • A/Sexuality:Hetero-Romantic Bi-Demisexual

Posted 18 February 2014 - 05:10 AM

Arousal can be annoying. In terms of the feeling it just feels like something is happening in the genital area. Like a tingling feeling as others have said. It's difficult to explain but I think you would know if you experience it.
"I Am Who I Am" by Lee Ryan.

Small rant: One thing that really bugs me is when people use the words gender and sex as if they are the same. What if you were born a man but feel like a woman? Or a woman who feels like a man? Gender is between the ears and sex is between the legs.
My own personal definition of Sexual Attraction: Directed sexual desire. An attraction that causes sexual desire towards that gender, genders or someone. Someone that "turns you on" and not just being horny.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users