Incredibly HAPPY being single?

[TeaMistress]

I see a lot of topics on here in which a lot of aces feel downhearted, lonely, etc.

So, I wanted to start a topic for those of us who are genuinely happy being alone.

Aromantic or not, if you're happy being single, raise your hand! *raises hand*

I love being on my own. I'm never happier in a relationship than I am when I'm single. I used to want to be in a relationship, but I've realised that I always end up being unhappy. Being single is for me! And I intend to celebrate that, who's with me?!

(Please be some happy single aces out there!)

[Zerο]

As long as I've got friends to hang out with I'm pretty happy with being single.

[Kagon]

*Waves Hand!*

I love being "single". I've never understood *longing* to be in a relationship - and I've never felt I've "needed one. I was 22 years old when my first relationship began and even that was pretty much approached as "well, I guess I can see what this whole dating thing is about?". In the aftermath of that, I wouldn't necessarily *avoid* getting into a relationship again - but I would definitely be more careful about defining what a "relationship" would entail with a person I cared about before agreeing to pursue one. My ideal "relationship" looks a lot like a friendship anyway though, so I have pretty close to what I would want without the "R" work ever coming up.

The biggest parts of me that thrive being single are my independent streak (which is there almost to a fault) and the idea that I am always free to do what is right for *me*. That doesn't mean that there aren't people I care about (there are), but I have respectful friendships with those people that provide for my social needs and keep me from being lonely. So long as I have my handful of really awesome friends, that is all I will ever need.

[NeroReaper]

I enjoy being single, there is less stress and drama. As long I have family, friends and a dog or cat I am fine.

[marmalade-cats]

I'm fairly happy being single. I'm not in any rush to get into a relationship that wouldn't work for me. Until I find the right person, I'm content being alone and just doing whatever I want!

[The Great WTF]

I firmly believe that my current relationship is a one-off. If we ever break up, I doubt I'll be with anyone else. I've always been more comfortable on my own than with others and he's really been my only exception (well, other than my mom. I honestly think we'd both be totally happy living with each other and NP one else for the rest of our lives.)

[TeaMistress]

Huzzah for the happy aces! I'm also fiercely independent, and that's definitely part of why I'm so happy alone. I love doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I still care very deeply for my friends and family, and love spending time with them, but I like not being "tied down" to someone. I always found being in a relationship a chore, as I felt like I HAD to consider my partners wishes before doing the things I wanted, which often led to me missing out on a lot of things.

[Dirge]

Another happily single ace here!

It means that my writing can come first. It means that if I want to spend an evening in blissful solitude or take myself out to dinner, I am free to do so without asking for the opinion of anyone else. I have more friends now than at any previous point in my life, yet I'm officially beholden to no one in matters of the heart.

I wouldn't trade it.

[Kellam]

I love my solitary life. Like others have said I too have a fiercely independent streak. I have good friends and am close with my family but even they feel burdensome at times. I wan't to be able to hold up my end of the friendship but most of the time I don't like to be bothered. Most of my hobbies are solitary pursuits and even when I'm not involved in them I look for time alone. My perfect day off from work usually involves not having to see, talk to or make contact with other people. Due to poor planning I sometimes have to talk to cashiers and store clerks. I even put up with not earning much money (my job is permanently temporary) because I need extended time off from work on the regular. I don't like being beholden to the whims of others or being expected to socialize five or six days a week. I like people and sometimes realy enjoy socializing and visiting the people I care about so I am no hermit. I actually decided to celebrate being in my ideal domestic state this year on the February holliday set aside for couples. I plan on taking myself out for a nice meal, I usually get take out or cook at home. I'm gonna bring a nice book with me and have a good read while I enjoy some tasty Indian food at my table for one. If everyone else can display their domestic bliss in public, why can't I?

[Turning]

I have never been in a relationship and never wanted one. I am an introvert and find constant companionship to be exhausting. I need a lot of alone time. I am truly happy this way. I find between working with lots of people everyday and spending quality time with close friends and family its enough. I'm much like you said Kellam. "domestic bliss" being single. My perfect day is often minimal human contact.

V day I will probably just call my family and close friend to say love you, and give my cats extra treats (to say I love you), and after that watch a movie and make myself a drink. I love watching movies so I look forward to it!

[1/100 of me]

I've always been a loner and I like it that way.

[LaMaestra]

Single and bloody loving it! Only myself to please. I see no reason to get into a relationship. Why spoil perfection?

[Zash]

I am quite happy single. I just wish everyone else (present company excluded) didn't see it as something that needed to be fixed.

[Cyfyndyfy]

Happy, single ace right here! I've had one, almost 3-year long relationship and let's just say I'm not eager to get into all of that again for a very, very long time. Plus, there are lots of perks to being single like I get to do what I want, when I want without having to think about someone else. Not to mention I get to spend all of my money on myself. :D

[x.Arielle.x]

I'm a happy single :) and the only time I am unhappy is when people pressure me go out on dates. I have like lots of hobbies and there are so many things to do. I'm an introvert and I know how to keep myself occupied with work and interests all the time. When I was dating, I felt like I was being tied down and now I'm finally free. I was dating just for the sake of dating. It's not just romantic relationships, I always need tons of alone time from everyone I know. I'm happy but I could be happier if people stopped talking about my choice to be single.

[peanut-butter-cloud]

Happily single ace here! :D Couldn't imagine it any other way.

[Xavy]

I like being alone, sometimes I wonder if it is possible to like being alone TOO MUCH ?

[TeaMistress]

I love how many of us are happy! It's nice to see that not all of us are miserable (which is what it can sometimes look like).

[Captain Darkhorse]

I'm definitely happy to be single! My ideal relationship would honestly work like FWC situation (FWC=Friend With Cuddles). But since I'm incredibly picky about the people I let touch me, that's probably not going to work out. Still, it's no loss on my end. I can cuddle my dog just as nicely :D

[lonely fox]

One more for the happy alone club :D

I'm an introvert anyway and also an independent person, I love having life by myself, so much easier to plan things and do things.

I'v got some some friends to keep me from becoming a complete hermit and plenty of hobbies to keep my occupied.

But I'm more than happy single

[Ithil]

Yesss me! I wouldn't mind a 'Friends-With-Cuddles' relationship as mentioned above, but hey, I'm perfectly happy otherwise!

I never understand how fussy people can be about being alone or having to do things on their own.. While I genuinely love my friends and appreciate the time I spend with them very much, I really like being on my own and I don't specifically need them to do fun things such as going to the cinema, going out for dinner, walks, musea.. going alone is like perfect ultimate freedom :P I don't want to come across as unsociable and selfish though it's just, I never understand why some of my friends can be like, 'oh, I really wanted to go and see ***movie/something, but I had no one to come with me so I didn't go!'. Like what? you don't need a relationship just to do fun stuff, right?

Admittedly though, I am quite introverted. But I don't really mind. I think I have plenty of human interaction ^_^

[Kagon]

Haha, I think a willingness to actually entertain cuddling someone is one of the biggest differences between someone I consider a good friend and someone I'm seriously "super-squishing" on. It would be nice to cuddle on the couch with the few people I've ever felt this for or possibly *OCCASIONALLY* cuddle in bed while trying to fall asleep (though separate bedrooms would still be necessary, even if I *did* wind up in this situation). Even then though, it couldn't be an all-the-time thing...and if the theoretical guy wasn't OK with any part of it that is all sorts of OK. The number of people I've had these "cuddle-crushes" for are extremely few and far between though, probably 5-6 over my lifetime, and all guys. Hence where I still loosely consider myself "demi\hetero".

Most people though....I need my space bubble. I've learned to grudgingly tolerate hello/goodbye hugs from family and certain specific friends because its less painful than the fight about *not* doing so, or will *very* rarely offer a hug to a friend who *really* needs one, but generally speaking....don't frekken touch me.

[byanyotherusername]

"Happily single" is how I described myself before I ever knew what an "aromantic asexual" was. ;)

[words are futile devices]

Oh heck yes, I love being single!! People seem incredulous when I tell them I've never really "dated" and just don't want that sort of thing.

I've been in love before, but the kind of relationship I wanted with him was more of a committed platonic bond. And that's definitely not what he wanted, but it's all good now. I'd much much much rather be alone than try to be romantic (what even IS that, I can't)

[peanut-butter-cloud]

"Happily single" is how I described myself before I ever knew what an "aromantic asexual" was. ;)

Me too. :)

[Arethusa]

I am... well, I've not been romantically attracted to anyone in a good long while, and I'm not sure when (if ever) I will be again. So being single is for now the default state for me, which is probably just as well since I can't meet the basic relationship expectations of most people I'm likely to meet. And that took some getting used to, social pressure and expectations being what they are, and there being very little by way of an alternative other than blazing one's own trail. But sometimes, it doesn't feel like I'm missing something that I'm supposed to have but probably never will. Sometimes, like tonight, I'm touched by the beautiful and sublime things about the world, and they fill me full up such that there's no place in my heart for anything else, and that's perfectly all right and as it should be. And I hope that I can get myself to feel that way more often in the days ahead, because it really is a reassuring feeling to have on this long and often lonesome road that I'm traveling down and by all indications will for a good while.

[The Hollow of Morning]

I've never been in a relationship. I can't say I've particularly wanted to either, but at the same time I always assumed that they would be a part of my future, just like most people do I guess. I did join a dating site once, but I wasn't really into it at all. I was just going through the motions, doing what I thought I should do. It was only about 6-8 months ago that I realised it's just not for me. I wouldn't completely rule out having a relationship, but there are so many other things that are more important to me. On the one hand, it does feel weird that I probably won't experience something that a huge percentage of the population does(regardless of whether I want it or not!), but on the other hand I feel lucky to have figured out my feelings about sex and relationships in my early twenties.

I am very much an introvert. I've lived on my own for a few months now, and I'm happy this way. I love having my own space, and having time to myself in the evening. I have a couple of close friends from my uni course, and there are a few people at church I'm friendly with, and that is enough to satisfy me. I'm pretty open about the fact that I'm not interested in relationships, because I like to challenge people's perceptions. It can be frustrating to hear people's generalisations(For example, I remember seeing a comment online that read "Anybody who's over 40 and has never been married is an epic fail"),and singleness often having negative connotations, so I feel it's important to be honest and share a different point of view.

[Purple.Dimples]

*Squeals* I have three cuddle buddies :3 They understand that we're completely platonic. I love how there aren't any expectations. :)

I'm pretty content being single but I wouldn't mind having a relationship either. I'm a bi (pan?)romantic, though so perhaps my opinion differs from an aromtic. I occasionally have a desire to get into a relationship, but I realize it's the physical intimacy I crave (not sex, but cuddles & hugs). Since I already get that from my close friends, I don't feel the urge to seek a relationship :)

[Singular]

Even if people make frowny-faces at me for saying I have no interest in dating (happens often), I'm perfectly happy being single, and if that's how the rest of my life will be lived then let it be done. No skin off my teeth.

If I ever desire physical contact with another living entity, I have friends that enjoy platonic hugs and dogs that always want attention. ;)

[chair jockey]

This takes some explaining.

I can't say I'm happy being single because I'm not happy. I've never been any good at anything, have always failed at everything I've tried to do, and have spent the past 38 years under the thumb of some unbelievably malevolent occultists. I am also trapped in a residence and a city in which I don't belong and don't want to be, purely for those occultists' convenience. Under those conditions, happiness is impossible.

BUT: being single is not one of the things that makes me unhappy. It's one of the few things about my life I see in a positive light. I had a girlfriend 19 years ago, and it was a time of emotional imbalance, constant stress, and being manipulated by a devious and underhanded psychopath (my girlfriend) as well as being the laughingstock of everyone I wrongly considered a "friend." That's not something I want ever again. I can't say I have independence because I simply don't, and my restrictive father and brother don't permit me freedom of movement and self-determination, but even their interference is far, far less onerous than that of a girlfriend or wife would be.

The main benefits of having a relationship are material. You get to pool resources and split expenses in an atmosphere of security and trust. Emotionally, however, relationships cost far more than they're worth, so I'm glad that I'm not in one and am, at my age, completely out of the market for getting into one. (It's not only on youth-oriented AVEN that a 48-year-old man is presupposed to be romantically uninteresting. Most of society sees me as sexless because of my age.)

Long story short, I'm not happy, but being single is something I very much enjoy and want to continue.