Incredibly HAPPY being single?

[writer24]

Being in a relationship is too smothering and causes a partial loss of identity in my opinion. Being in a relationship takes away my loner time. It made me feel like I was being slowly drowned when I was in a relationship 6 years ago. I hated hugs, cuddles, kisses...

Also, commitments are not for me. When I tested out having a boyfriend 6 years ago, I didn't even call him once a week. Even seeing him once a week was too much. I had to break it off. I always tried to stay away and find ways to avoid hanging out.

I take extreme pride in loving the single life.

I had the same problem when I was in a relationship. I felt so smothered by the other person and would find ways to avoid them because I couldn't stand giving them all my time. Avoiding them also partially had to do with the fact that I'm aromantic, so romance makes me really uncomfortable. I can't stand it and don't want to participate.

Overall I just really enjoy not being tied to one person. I am content with friends. I'm better when it's just me. I'm so independent even if I wasn't aromantic asexual I just don't think a relationship would work for me. I've always been happy being single. Never felt the need to rely on anyone else for my happiness. I'm so glad I can say that because a lot of people can't.

[TheKindredSoul]

I see a lot of topics on here in which a lot of aces feel downhearted, lonely, etc.

So, I wanted to start a topic for those of us who are genuinely happy being alone.

Aromantic or not, if you're happy being single, raise your hand! *raises hand*

I love being on my own. I'm never happier in a relationship than I am when I'm single. I used to want to be in a relationship, but I've realised that I always end up being unhappy. Being single is for me! And I intend to celebrate that, who's with me?!

(Please be some happy single aces out there!)

I am happy I am single! There are so many things I want to do in this world, and having a partner will only slow my running feet down. I am adventurous, youthful, and eager to get out into the world and explore. I have no time, nor interest, in marriage and children (those things are not for me and I have a whole list of reasons why). I want to pursue my business, travel the world (Japan is on the top of my list), have tea with my few fellow friends, etc. There is so much for my youthful mind to see, and settling down is not on my "bucket list". I am quite happy by myself, with my few close friends. I enjoy it.

I do not like it when romance is overly overblown as being the best thing out there. There is more to life then all of that, and it is not for everyone. I have love...my friends and family is where I get it from. I am fulfilled just like that. Never once have I dated, nor have I had crushes. I am completely fine with that.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

I've had so much practice at being alone that I think being in a relationship might make me unhappy. A relationship sounds like a large sacrifice really, when one can instead just occasionally see and have fun with friends.

I used to think like this too, and still sort of do...

But I think in large part my thinking was based on the idea that "a relationship" has to take some very fixed, rigid, smothering and overwhelming form. The thing is - it doesn't really. Every relationship can be what you and the other person make of it. It doesn't have to look anything like the normative clingy romantic relationships you see in mainstream cultural discourse.

So if you meet people who have the same low-level needs in relationships as you have, the two (or more) of you can literally hash out something that's less draining and complicated than a common friendship.

I've basically come to think of being "single" or not as a false dichotomy, for these reasons. :lol:

[Tabula Rasa]

Another happy single here! ^_^

I would say I am content being single, happiness being a fleeting emotion, and considering I've been single my entire life, maintaining happiness for that duration would be impossible. But, I am not sad or lonely and sadness and depression can be rather prolonged or so I gather from numerous testimonials.

These things are true only if you believe them to be. :)

[fiveofspades]

Yes. I just have a highly introverted personality and like to be alone for the most part of the day. It's enough for me to know that I'm attractive to some people without the complications of an actual romantic relationship. I'm also very sensitive to stimulus, hence, any form of intimacy feels incredibly overwhelming for me. I can only offer platonic love, which, I think, isn't a lesser kind of love than a romantic one.

[Falunel]

I'm definitely happy being single when it comes to romance/sex. I'm demiromantic/demisexual, but to be honest, I'd trade it for being full aro/ace in an instant--romantic/sexual attraction is often too... unwieldy, and never actually wanted. It feels more like a blight than something genuinely nice, at least to me.

I do want a queerplatonic primary relationship, though.

[CarCar123]

I was never like the girls who are always complaining about being single. I am perfectly happy not being in a relationship. Before I heard of asexuality, I just thought I was just a really independent woman. Which I am. But the only relationships I need are with family and friends. You can always use another friend in your life :)

[panladea]

yeah i dont mind being single, i just need someone to cuddle! :3

[Yuridia]

Am new to AVEN and, correspondingly, my sexuality, though I am extremely certain (and happy) to have found this community and orientation.

Anyway, very happy being alone. It is inexplicable to others and they mostly always reply with, "You just have not met the right person," but I am extremely happy and certain with this fact.

Just as the average Joe is certain they will marry a woman and have children, I am certain, I am and can be happy alone for an extenuated time.

Best to all!

[parker]

I know that I would be happy without the social pressure.

I am not unhappy about not having a boyfriend but I am unhappy about the questions about my singleness (there will probably me more and more of them as I get older). I am also unhappy about the analysis I am usually put through when I say I am asexual or I am not sure whether I want children. The conclusion usually is that I just have psychological disorders and the only thing that can save me is therapy and a proper sex partner.

It all has to do with the place I live in too. The cultural environment here is very homogeneous, differences are viewed as really weird, so actually I am considering moving to a bigger country/city in the future where I would be viewed more as "normal". If I could just have a better environment around me I may one day become *really* happy :)

This is exactly the reason why I left my small home town and went to the "big city" :)

[Cereal Tendencies]

Happy single :) I'm an introvert who has learned to blend in, ie: "social chameleon" and I personally think relationships are too much social "effort" on my part

I prefer the silence and I spend most of my time alone, but I do have a few good friends who take me out from time to time so I'm no hermit

[skymessenger]

Every now and again I wonder what dating would be like. But I'm glad I'm single most of the time. I need to resolve some personal issues and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone I care about or make myself a burden. Also I should be focusing on my college studies first and foremost. As I say "I'm saving time, money and emotions by not dating!".

[FFXIVMithra]

I LOOOOVE being single. I spend 10-14 hours on my days off playing an mmorpg, and couldn't do it if I was with someone. Plus, I'm way too much of an independent person to have someone around. I'd probably go crazy if I had to share my place with someone other than my dog.