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Do Aces mind being called "sexy"?


Pikanyaa

A-Sexy?  

  1. 1. Do you mind being called "sexy"?

    • Yes, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
      104
    • Yes, I think they're just making fun of me.
      21
    • Nope, a compliment's a compliment!
      68
    • No, I don't really believe them anyway.
      31
    • I don't care either way.
      50
  2. 2. What would you like people to refer to your appearance as?

    • Sexy, hot
      17
    • Beautiful/Handsome
      116
    • Pretty, cute
      125
    • Just simply "attractive"
      91
    • MINDBLOWING!! (or some other outrageous adjective)
      31
    • I don't really like getting comments on my appearance...
      78
    • Ugly! (don't even want people looking at me)
      4
    • I couldn't care less. Their opinions don't matter.
      58
    • Other
      20

This poll is closed to new votes


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Styx-the-Gargoyle

I really don't like people commenting on my personal appearance.To me, I'm not "sexy" or "ugly" or "cute". I just am, I exist in this physical body, but it isn't really me, just a container. I don't understand how a comment on physical appearance could be truly meaningful.

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I really don't like people commenting on my personal appearance.To me, I'm not "sexy" or "ugly" or "cute". I just am, I exist in this physical body, but it isn't really me, just a container. I don't understand how a comment on physical appearance could be truly meaningful.

Can I call you asexy? (That's not about your appearance.)

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I prefer when my friends call me "cute" or use a silly adjective like "dashing" or "sparkly". I actually enjoy compliments, so long as they are from people I'm really close to. I get all warm and fuzzy inside. However, if it's from someone I barely know or don't know at all, I never know how to respond and I get really awkward. Being called "sexy" just makes me feel uncomfortable and weirded out...

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kaleidoscope_eyes

The first time someone told me I looked sexy I gave them this deer-in-headlights look and was like, "nope, nope, nope" and changed into ratty sweats lol. I mean, I get that it's a compliment and I don't get mad at people for saying it, but I still inwardly cringe. With my friends I'm usually fine with it because they don't mean it sexually. My favorite (to be called and to call others) is cute, because I see it more as a statement on personality than appearance, and am more likely to call someone cute after they say or do something cute than because of their face... I don't really get why you'd compliment someone's face. Maybe their makeup, or their clothes and jewelry, or tattoos, cause I feel like those are often physical manifestations of their personality.

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It depends on where it's coming from, honestly. My automatic response is a skeptical "flattered, but not interested". I have a lot of difficulty gauging whether people are being sincere or not since I don't "rate people" by the same criterea that they do, and thus, have no point of reference.

If it's from a friend or someone I know better, it does't bother me. I can just laugh and shrug it off.

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Random Happenstance

I think a lot of people tell other people they look nice because they genuinely think it and to make the person feel good about themselves. Quite often, if someone tells them they look good, they feel good. If appearance didn't matter, there wouldn't be haircuts, makeup, neat looking clothes and all that. I think a lot of people put some effort into their appearance (even if it's just to comb their hair) because in a way it does matter, it's not just shallow. It says a little bit about the person inside...do they care a little, not at all, too much? I guess I feel presentation isn't everything, but it is something.

The sexy thing, yeah it can be creepy or positive (meaning good looking, pretty, etc.). Before people had the nerve to tell someone they were sexy, they said other words which meant that...a "real looker" is one (no I'm not that old, but I've heard it). :lol:

-shrug- I might wear a cool haircut/colour and/or coat. I don't care at all as to my overall appearance mostly, it's more like hanging some cool poster on a wall. I appreciate the aesthetics of the thing, but it doesn't mean my appearance matters to me. I used to dye my hair all sorts of wild colours too. They certainly won't have benefitted my appearance, but they were fun!

I'm a bit odd with regards to my appearance though, I'm sure it matters more to most people. I don't mind if someone mentions how cool the 'decorations' are on their own, but my overall appearance has little meaning to me outside of gender expression.

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How about "asexy"? Do you like being called that?

AWWWWWWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1)Option 3

2)Option 3

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I don't care as long as I can tell that it's sincere. Not to sound egotistical (really, gosh do I hate this...) but I get a lot of comments when I'm out in public and I've become rather desensitized to it all.

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treenearthewater

Totally depends on the context. If it's someone I know well--say, a friend who I know for sure is not interested in me *that way* or even just one who I know would never pressure me or anything--than it would be fine, particularly if it was another female friend saying it (regardless of her orientation). But if we're talking someone I've never met, who's catcalling me on the street, or doesn't know me well enough to be judging me on anything *except* my appearance...yeah, I'd be uncomfortable.

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It depends on their intention. Like I've had people give me honest complements and they're seriously just saying "I appreciate your appearance" and I really enjoy that because, as much as I look pretty for myself and no one else (and have down days for no one but myself) sometimes it's nice for my effort to be recognized. And while no one's not going to get any sort of reaction from complimenting me besides a (very genuine) "Thank you", the people who say it like that aren't looking for anything. They just wanna express their appreciation for something they see as pretty.

But then there's the people that say it because you're a piece of meat and they think that if they say the right things to you that you'll let them do whatever they want to you. And those people are terrifying because the way they look at you... It's like... Like I've literally feared leaving work and having them dragging me into a back hallway against my will, and have flat out told my managers "If they come in again, I'm hiding in the back".

And it's not the words itself, which is why "sexy" doesn't bother me. The one particular guy I remember that distinctly skeeved me out didn't use any vernacular that pointed to sexual intent, but it was how he said it, and his mannerisms, and you could just tell that he thought he deserved me for whatever reason. And that's what I have issues with.

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Crealityisabeast

I personally don't like being called sexy. Its a weird word, and just rubs me the wrong way. I prefer it if people say beautiful or attractive just because I happen to like the way that those words sound to me.

I also don't call people sexy. If I see. guy that I find attractive, I'll either say 'that's a handsome dude' or 'yup, that's a good looking guy'. And the same with women. I dont call other women sexy, its always 'good looking' or 'beautiful

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typically being called sexy or referred to in that way (especially when i'd go shopping with my mom and sister) makes me feel uncomfortable and confused no matter where it comes from. Ie: find a pair of faux snakeskin wedges, I try them on and when my mom does her usual wolf whistle and says 'ooh sexy', I'm ready to shove said shoes right back on the shelf.

I know she only ever means well and I've struggled with low self-esteem but even before I discovered my demisexuality 'sexy' was the LAST way I wanted to be seen by others.

Yet, it's funny, when those two (or most people I know well) use the word 'hot' instead, suddenly I'm not bothered. It doesn't have the same connotation to me as 'sexy' does. To be blunt, hot: 'damn you're looking good' vs sexy: 'OBJECT PEOPLE WILL WANT'

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I don't really like people commenting on my appearance, but when it's absolutely unavoidable or if I really do need an opinion, I like it best if someone just says good - or bad if I truly do look horrible :D So that it's just a simple "How do I look?" "Good." "Thank you."

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typically being called sexy or referred to in that way (especially when i'd go shopping with my mom and sister) makes me feel uncomfortable and confused no matter where it comes from. Ie: find a pair of faux snakeskin wedges, I try them on and when my mom does her usual wolf whistle and says 'ooh sexy', I'm ready to shove said shoes right back on the shelf.

I know she only ever means well and I've struggled with low self-esteem but even before I discovered my demisexuality 'sexy' was the LAST way I wanted to be seen by others.

Yet, it's funny, when those two (or most people I know well) use the word 'hot' instead, suddenly I'm not bothered. It doesn't have the same connotation to me as 'sexy' does. To be blunt, hot: 'damn you're looking good' vs sexy: 'OBJECT PEOPLE WILL WANT'

"hot" can also mean "object people will want." That's the thing about looking good and taking care of your appearance... it does increase the "object people want" factor, which is often a big part of sexual attraction. That's why a lot of ace people don't spend time on clothes or their appearance.

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To me I take it as a compliment, I am humble but I enjoy when someone notices a feature about me they really like. Something that is sexy doesn't have to be limited to just appearance but I think what actually gets someone attention is how you carry yourself. When you see someone walking with confidence you watch them and get pulled in by the details of that person.

If someone was implying they wanted to bang me, I would respond by telling them to go to hell. ^_^

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To me I take it as a compliment, I am humble but I enjoy when someone notices a feature about me they really like. Something that is sexy doesn't have to be limited to just appearance but I think what actually gets someone attention is how you carry yourself. When you see someone walking with confidence you watch them and get pulled in by the details of that person.

If someone was implying they wanted to bang me, I would respond by telling them to go to hell. ^_^

But... that's usually what "sexy" implies!

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Yeah I totally dislike it when somebody says that about me, I'd rather much more "beautiful" or "cute", those actually worth something to me.

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As a not conventionally attractive male, no one would really ever call me sexy. However, I get called pretty a lot, and I enjoy it...probably a bit too much.

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typically being called sexy or referred to in that way (especially when i'd go shopping with my mom and sister) makes me feel uncomfortable and confused no matter where it comes from. Ie: find a pair of faux snakeskin wedges, I try them on and when my mom does her usual wolf whistle and says 'ooh sexy', I'm ready to shove said shoes right back on the shelf.

I know she only ever means well and I've struggled with low self-esteem but even before I discovered my demisexuality 'sexy' was the LAST way I wanted to be seen by others.

Yet, it's funny, when those two (or most people I know well) use the word 'hot' instead, suddenly I'm not bothered. It doesn't have the same connotation to me as 'sexy' does. To be blunt, hot: 'damn you're looking good' vs sexy: 'OBJECT PEOPLE WILL WANT'

"hot" can also mean "object people will want." That's the thing about looking good and taking care of your appearance... it does increase the "object people want" factor, which is often a big part of sexual attraction. That's why a lot of ace people don't spend time on clothes or their appearance.

I think both terms can carry both meanings...both could just mean good looking and both could mean I want you. I also think caring about your appearance is more a person or personality thing as opposed to a sexual orientation thing. My husband cares about his appearance and I know plenty of sexual people who don't. From what I've read on AVEN, quite a few aces are very aware of aesthetic attraction and are able to separate and isolate it from sexual attraction so personally, I'd be hesitant to say a lot of ace people don't spend time on clothes or their appearance.

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VindicatorPhoenix

If someone ever called me sexy, I'd just turn it into the LMFAO song as a joke: "I'm sexy and I know it." Personally, I don't care what people think of my looks anymore. I want to be me, not the "sexy" people who are always trying to show off their bodies.

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typically being called sexy or referred to in that way (especially when i'd go shopping with my mom and sister) makes me feel uncomfortable and confused no matter where it comes from. Ie: find a pair of faux snakeskin wedges, I try them on and when my mom does her usual wolf whistle and says 'ooh sexy', I'm ready to shove said shoes right back on the shelf.

I know she only ever means well and I've struggled with low self-esteem but even before I discovered my demisexuality 'sexy' was the LAST way I wanted to be seen by others.

Yet, it's funny, when those two (or most people I know well) use the word 'hot' instead, suddenly I'm not bothered. It doesn't have the same connotation to me as 'sexy' does. To be blunt, hot: 'damn you're looking good' vs sexy: 'OBJECT PEOPLE WILL WANT'

"hot" can also mean "object people will want." That's the thing about looking good and taking care of your appearance... it does increase the "object people want" factor, which is often a big part of sexual attraction. That's why a lot of ace people don't spend time on clothes or their appearance.

I disagree. The biggest narcissist I've ever known was asexual. She spent obnoxious amounts of time and money to look good because she wanted to look the way she wanted to look. Her nails were always beautiful, her hair immaculate, and she took more selfies than anyone I've ever known, but she was about as asexual as they come.

And it's the same with me. Sure, I don't care if other people "approve" of my appearance (I wore a five foot wig to work today without blinking because I needed to see if I had enough clips in it) but I care if I approve of my looks. The plus side to that is that when I'm cold or sick or whatever I don't feel any pressure to do more than throw on baggy pants and a t-shirt, but my like for clothing and makeup has nothing to do with other people. It's actually why I get really angry about how short skirts are for people who "want something". I like short skirts because I like my legs, so I like to show them off. And when someone pays me an honest compliment it does put a spring in my step, but it's like someone complimenting an art piece. I put time into it so hearing that it's well received is nice. But that's the extent that my appearence has to do with anyone else but me.

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I looove compliments. I may not consider people sexy, but I know that's how most other people gauge attractiveness. And if someone finds me attractive, then yay me! I'm surprisingly vain and shallow for an asexual.

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& I'm a heretic

It depends on who it's from. I like when my boyfriend does. I don't really mind when most friends do. But I would hate if a random person did. In fact, my friend say that I looked "pretty" in the hall one day, but I didn't realize it was him and thought it was a random guy hitting on me so I was disgusted and ignored him.

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It depends on who it's from. I like when my boyfriend does. I don't really mind when most friends do. But I would hate if a random person did. In fact, my friend say that I looked "pretty" in the hall one day, but I didn't realize it was him and thought it was a random guy hitting on me so I was disgusted and ignored him.

Same for me, pretty much. It's cool when my friends say it, because I know there are no underlining motivations there. I just take it like it's just another way of saying I look good. But I'm really uncomfortable when strangers do it - it feels like they're forcing unwanted intimacy on me

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I would prefer to be called beautiful.

I am indifferent to being called sexy.

Off topic: SuperMagicMuffin, your picture is badass.

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It depends on context.

From a friend it's flattering, from a stranger I don't like it unless it is a certain context (asking a shop assistant how a dress looks on me etc.). From someone I'm dating generally fine, but if we're being physically intimate I find it somewhat stressful as it reminds me they want to go further and I don't really take it as a compliment.

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