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The New Aromantic Thread (v.1.5)


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SithAzathoth WinterDragon

I'm aromantic most of the time and rarely homo. I'm in my late 20's and never been sexual. If I experience being homorantic it's more of a platonic love as if with a sister or mother.

I am into astronomy and weather. I'm after my career with USGS and off to Yellowstone for the summer to work since I was offered a job through Xanterra but also to see if I can work with the USGS observatory while I'm there. I spend hours outside late at night if it's dark enough and watch the stars move and sometimes see the auroras they're always awesome do to where they are in elevation causing each color. 

I'm a metal head here as well and mostly listen to Amon Amarth and other Nordic death metal bands, I'm learning to play bagpipes as well and should be able to get a set by next fall along with the band kilt and be a full member. 

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Milandakate

Do romantic people have squishes too? Because one of my friends keeps describing this feeling and she's not aro or ace and I was wondering if squishes were an everyone experience or not. 

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Hi @Milandakate and welcome :cake:

 

Yes, romantic people can have squishes, just as they desire friendships in general.

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I'm very much asexual and a little aromantic (idk) someone on this site suggested lithromantic which seems the closest I'm going to get to how I am, because I can like people that way, or as close to it as I can get, but I can't like them long enough to maintain a relationship especially if I'm in one, the problem is usually I can't like someone that way until they said they liked me and want to go out. It starts and ends quite quickly. In my imagination a special long-term relationship would be lovely and ideal, but would in real life it be impossible even as a convenience relationship rather than romantic just because its a relationship? So confusing sorry

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I'm aromantic but DO experience sensual attraction towards some squishes and towards the persons I have queerplatonic feelings for. People get confused. Yay.  

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Don't you just love it when you off-handedly comment that someone's nice, and suddenly there's four people happy that you got over your 'phase' and are trying to set you up? I'm just saying that the person is objectively doing something that's considered not evil, why are you being like this?? >.<

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ChillaKilla

Took a Buzzfeed quiz... I feel validated :D 

348htmg.jpg

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

Took a Buzzfeed quiz... I feel validated :D 

348htmg.jpg

imwx7k.jpg

I think I might take this quiz.... :D

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

 

Took the quiz !I got:

You'll never get married

Me:

7b8ce990995ab650e8639cbdffe4ad4a6f94aa54

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  • 2 weeks later...

I kinda struggled for a long time to understand that what I identify as is okay, but I have made big strides in the right direction. It was a question of gender, sexuality and romanticism. These have all informed my interest or interactions with other people when I seek companionship and only hindsight amd access to information  has brought a deeper understanding of myself. My ultimate goal is to find a platonic intimate. Someone I can have an emotional and physical-not sexual- connection with. I want to snuggle and cuddle and hold hands and kiss, but I don't want have sex...at all, except with myself sometimes, because endorphins are good for headaches and sleep.I want to have a meaningful and deep emotional connection, because that is so key regardless of a person's gender. I feel like I am looking for a unicorn here...

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On 19/01/2014 at 7:22 PM, Lambda Corvus said:

For everyone: are you in or do you desire to be in a platonic relationship? What about a romantic relationship, if you are one of those people who do experience romantic attraction, are fluid, or do not know? What are necessary qualities of these relationships?

I desire a platonic relationship so hard. I know how I want it to work and look in my head, but I don't know how well it will translate into reality. 

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ChillaKilla

Had a super awesome talk with my future college roommate about what aromanticism all entails! When I was explaining everything she didn't make a single annoying assumption, and even said of her own accord "Oh I see! You feel love for people in general like your family and friends, just not that one specific romantic type of love!" I WAS SO HAPPY SHE TOTALLY SKIPPED THE "wait are you a sociopath/robot" PHASE ENTIRELY!!! 

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Snao Cone
49 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

Had a super awesome talk with my future college roommate about what aromanticism all entails! When I was explaining everything she didn't make a single annoying assumption, and even said of her own accord "Oh I see! You feel love for people in general like your family and friends, just not that one specific romantic type of love!" I WAS SO HAPPY SHE TOTALLY SKIPPED THE "wait are you a sociopath/robot" PHASE ENTIRELY!!! 

She didn't even say "Aw, don't be sad, I'm sure you'll find someone"????

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ChillaKilla
8 hours ago, Snao Çoñé said:

She didn't even say "Aw, don't be sad, I'm sure you'll find someone"????

NOPE!!!! :D:D:D 

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
1 hour ago, ChillaKilla said:

NOPE!!!! :D:D:D 

Wow,you're lucky,indeed! :D

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ChillaKilla
44 minutes ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

Wow,you're lucky,indeed! :D

Everyone, get you a friend/ally like my friend Connie :wub: 

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
1 hour ago, ChillaKilla said:

Everyone, get you a friend/ally like my friend Connie :wub: 

😆 I approve this message ☝👍

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
17 hours ago, Mo_Tho said:

I desire a platonic relationship so hard. I know how I want it to work and look in my head, but I don't know how well it will translate into reality. 

I have the same problem.

I desire a platonic relationship.

After much reflection, I came to the conclusion I am gray aromantic.

I am open to romance,but I don't crave a romantic relationship too much.

I can do without it.

 

But a platonic,committed relationship is something I really crave.

I know how I want my platonic relationship to work and look like,

But I am also not sure how it will translate into reality,either. :(

 

 

 

 

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I've really been wanting a platonic relationship lately too. It's tough.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
30 minutes ago, Holsety said:

I've really been wanting a platonic relationship lately too. It's tough.

It is tough. :(

 

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8 minutes ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

It is tough. :(

 

Word. Girl cant find no ace lady in OK no way :( it was hard enough looking for patient lesbians. *sighs* 

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Divide By Zero
On 2017-05-08 at 2:52 PM, Mo_Tho said:

I desire a platonic relationship so hard. I know how I want it to work and look in my head, but I don't know how well it will translate into reality. 

 

Interesting topic...

 

Personally, I've always found it rather unusual that someone who is aromantic would want a relationship that's more than friendship, even if it's a platonic relationship. It just seems to go against the idea of being aromantic.

 

As for me, being friends with people is enough. I have no desire to have a life partner. I enjoy being single and intend to be single all my life. My friends think I'm strange for not wanting a life partner (but, then again, they think I'm strange in general). As for family / relatives, it's fortunately not much of an issue because there are lots of people in the family tree who never married (and this goes back generations). Actually, given how many people there are in the family tree who never married and/or never had kids, it's amazing the family has carried on for as long as it has, although it's gradually dying out. When I see how many people in the family tree never married, it makes wonder if there's some sort of genetic component to being aromantic and/or asexual.

 

Another related point to this is that I've never had a desire to date and I've never had an interest in dating. I've never dated, never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, and never been on a date (and also never had sex because I have no desire to have sex). In fact, it was this lack of desire to date that made me realize I was asexual. In my late teenage years my thinking was along the lines of, "Well, I have no interest in dating so that must be why I have no interest in sex. I think this means I'm asexual...?????" It would be a few more years before I learned about aromanticism and that aromanticism and asexuality are two separate things, although, in my view, they are closely related.

 

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10 hours ago, Mr E said:

 

Personally, I've always found it rather unusual that someone who is aromantic would want a relationship that's more than friendship, even if it's a platonic relationship. It just seems to go against the idea of being aromantic.

 

 

Well, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but a "platonic relationship" may not be a life partner at all, just a closer sort of friend.

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To me, being aromantic means I'm just not romantically attracted to anyone. I still get feelings where I want to be close to someone, but I don't want to do romancy stuff, y'know? It would be nice to have someone to go through life with, I guess it would be like a close best friend. Idk, I've always had difficulty articulating the feelings I get.

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ChillaKilla
On 5/10/2017 at 8:36 AM, LMcD420 said:

Well, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but a "platonic relationship" may not be a life partner at all, just a closer sort of friend.

Can friends not be life partners? 

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7 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

Can friends not be life partners? 

They can, they just don't necessarily have to be.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
On 5/9/2017 at 2:42 PM, M00SE said:

Word. Girl cant find no ace lady in OK no way :( it was hard enough looking for patient lesbians. *sighs* 

*Hugs*

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I just posted my new aro thing on the main board. For some reason I didn't see this stickied. My bad. Should I cut and paste it here and ask for that one to be deleted? 

 

My my post as a bit long, but the short version is, my reactions to realizing it are

 

* WTF, how could I have possibly thought my 'crushes'were romantic? 

* Cool I don't have to feel creepy about getting them. 

I can TELL people instead of hiding it.

* This means they can tell me they squish me back.

* There seems to be no expectation of monogamy

* no worry at all the other person might want romance or sex or something.

* Overall, its a sweet deal.

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halp.

 

anyone else *really* been in love (and in a relationship) once as a teen and never since? i don't necessarily even care to be, there might be ups but definitely downs to romance, too. i tried relationships since, but it's difficult because of expectations. i know i'm "preaching to the choir" here, but i just need to get some of this off my chest right now. i am rly unsure as to whether i just haven't processed my past properly (still feel the old feels after a couple years) and if that's why i can't properly bond romantically, or if since that was at the end of my teen years and all, i should not expect to feel the same way ever again. again, not saying i want to, but close friends seem to have a hard time trusting me sometimes because i am confused myself, not to mention the difficulty of finding poly queerplatonic cuddle buddies that have the patience to deal with my shit. i know i probably still have it better than many if not most ppl but that doesn't rly help at all. 😭

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What does the aro experience feel like? I want someone who won't fall in love, because I cannot handle such intense emotions; I just want a (or some) best friend(s) to cuddle and maybe more, but not melt into one being. I consider myself solo poly but am still looking into ace and aro specs.

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