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Ace's Love of Cuddles


Fruity<3

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For people who do enjoy cuddling, it releases good hormones that helps you bond to other people. (I'm not saying this is the case for other people. Unwanted touch, or sex, or anything else is not good.)

I think my sexual boyfriend is ok going without sex for a long time because we both love cuddling and kissing and rubbing our noses together. I also cuddle with good friends as a way to show closeness with them.

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I totally get cuddling, i get cuddling without sexual interest. I don't get cuddling without any interest in an emotional connection. If I want someone close to me I want to be close to them. Otherwise it is just a superficial gesture that I suppose a robot can handle in the future.

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108 Rocking Horses

...When it comes to cuddling I have very little sense of personal space, I can have someone literally on top of me and not feel uncomfortable as long as it is completely non-sexual. I am cautious about cuddle buddies now however because I have had some unfortunately awkward experiences in the past cuddling with someone who was sexual.

So, the point to my rambling would be that I think for me it has to do with a sense of comfort/safety.

This exactly. Cuddling is the best thing ever, and I agree that it's a sense of comfort/safety that makes it so nice. But the moment it turns sexual, it's all aboard the nope train to hellnoville. Unfortunately, most of my past partners would always turn things sexual, so I have to be really careful, and I generally compromise by not touching anybody at all for any reason. >.>

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I adore cuddling

I am a very sensual person and will enjoy any type of non-sexual touching.

I also happen to have friends with whom I cuddle occasionally. Most times because many of us stay over at someone's place and there's only so much space.

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I think I've made it abundantly clear before that I love cuddling. I find myself constantly craving it, but as things stand now, I rarely get any opportunity to satisfy that desire. For about a year now, I've been periodically going to a cuddle party group that meets in Chicago, but they have recently made changes that make it difficult for me (as a single male) to get in, so I am not sure how much longer I am going to be able to do that.

One thing that I'm starting to see sets me apart from most is that I make absolutely no distinction between male or female cuddle partners. Almost without exception, when I see people talking about looking for others they'd like to cuddle with, it's men looking for women or vice versa. To me, it makes no difference - I'll accept any approach, and approach anyone who I think would be receptive. I will say that my most satisfying experiences with touch have been with other men, though I enjoy contact with women as well.

Cuddle parties? Now THAT sounds like a good time :)

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I used to cuddle with Roomies back in college. There would be a whole gloomf (yes, it is a word, I don't care if you can't find a definition for it) of five or six of us hanging out on the carpet of one of our rooms and watching a movie.

Then Roomies 1 & 2 got together. The not normally mentioned: Former Roomie started pushing us away since it was senior year and she was intolerant of good byes. And Summer Roomie had a boyfriend she visited every chance she got. Cuddles stopped. Not right away, but apparently cuddles are just a relationship thing.

Bah.

I grew up cuddling with Lil Sis all of the time. It was not uncommon for her to come crying to me and launching herself at my stomach to cling like a barnacle. I'd look down at her shocked, "I'm the one who made you cry."

"And you're going to make me feel better," she would say.

I miss cuddles. I'm not near my family any more so I don't get to cuddle with them. And I don't like hugging strangers/acquaintances.

I'm fairly used to it now. Not cuddling. That's probably a good thing since I'm going to live in a rather touch reserved society in a few months.

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I'm pretty touchy-feely with the people I trust. I love cuddling because I think it's really comfortable, especially when I watch movies and stuff. It's a way to show how close I am to a person without words, without actions. Something about it makes me feel secure.

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I love cuddling too but only with people that I'm good friends with and understand completely that cuddling is not an invitation for sexual touching.

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Mostly Peaceful Ryan

To be honest I love cuddling but talk to most people and it seems like a huge majority love cuddling as well. I know many sexual people who have told me they find cuddling with their partner to be more desirable to them then having sex. I think there is a security about being held by someone you love. It makes us feel safe and loved. Also when it is cold it is nice to be curled up with another warm body ^_^ For me cuddling is the best thing ever, I would take being held or holding the one I care about over any other activity. :3

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I don't usually give hugs, because I never know when it's socially (un)acceptable (except my family, whom I hug all the time). But I loooove receiving hugs!

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Well I rarely get a chance to cuddle so any time I get a chance to hug my friends it feel's great, but it really isn't enough :( I wish I can find a cuddle buddy but I don't think my friends will get it.

Guess won't know until I try

But to answer you'r question It makes me feel safe and connected to other people

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  • 8 months later...

<3 hugs and cuddles, but not with just anyone - the idea of cuddle parties kind of makes me squirm. But cuddles with someone I trust, sure!

I usually feel more comfortable sharing hugs with women, maybe because I feel like it's socially more charged with guys and could more easily be taken the wrong way? My fave is when the other person is just a little bit taller/bigger than me and can make me feel totally surrounded and super safe.

G'ah, longing for cuddles right now...

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For me it's about a lack of intimacy. I may well be asexual but I still have the need to be close to someone

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I've always been addicted to cuddling, it's what I 'fantasize' about and crave all the time, but I don't see it as an exclusively romantic thing, I could cuddle pretty much the same way with my husband, or my friends, or my mom - the feelings would be different but the actions the same. I can never seem to get enough affectionate touch and I feel like I am always overflowing with wanting to show my care and acceptance of people through touch. Most affection does not register as sexual to me at all, and I don't want it to lead into that. It's always so frustrating to me that a lot of people have trouble separating cuddling from sexual interest, I hate feeling like I always need to worry about leading people on or making them uncomfortable or giving them the wrong impression of me. I do feel a little sad that my husband is most cuddly when he wants sex, even though he is affectionate in general, but it is sometimes disappointing when I'm really enjoying it and then he wants to go there.... sigh.... he's so cute when he's flirty like that but I'd still rather just keep cuddling.

To me, cuddling communicates care and acceptance of someone just as they are, and it provides a sense of support and security and the idea that someone is 'on your side' or a sense of community. For me it also gives me comfort and reassurance in the physical realm where I tend to feel most disconnected and overwhelmed - (I really live in my head a lot, tune out the world a lot, and often feel clumsy or inadequate when taking care of here-and-now business and activities). Additionally I have what I'd call the opposite of claustrophobia, I tend to feel unsettled when I've got open space around me, but feel really relaxed when I can feel the physical pressure of things pressed up against me - which cuddling provides.

I'm fine cuddling with someone I've just met as long as they aren't giving me a bad vibe (and they don't have on perfume I'm allergic to). But I especially love it with people I care about - it really affirms the emotional connection, and I'm always seeking opportunities to be touchy-cuddly-intimate with my friends. As DersEvvak mentioned what gender someone is doesn't make the slightest difference in the way I'd like to cuddle them, though socially men tend to be more awkward with it or more likely to take it wrong so I hold back more around them but I wish so badly that I didn't have to!!! When I feel like it would be awkward to ask someone to cuddle, I will often ask if I can play with their hair or offer to massage their shoulders or hands - something that can initiate touch between us and then when they are relaxed and comfortable if I don't move away right away sometimes we end up at least mildly cuddling. :)

I find that in cuddle/affection circumstances I always tend to be more the giver or initiator than the receiver which can get kind of disappointing - like I would loooove for someone to wrap their arms around me and be able to rest my head on their shoulder, but usually it's my arms around them with them resting against me - and I'm not even tall which might explain it if that were the case, but no... I don't know why it always happens this way. I'm also usually the one who is willing to put up with some uncomfortableness for the sake of the cuddle - such as my leg is falling asleep or their elbow is poking into my side but it's fine I don't want them to have to move. I find that some people have trouble with cuddling because they get bored too quickly when they're not moving, but I can just think about random things and enjoy just sitting or laying there for hours!

If you're familiar with the '5 love languages' theory about the different ways individuals prefer to communicate and receive love, the desire to cuddle could maybe be linked to valuing touch as a main 'love language' (the others being words, gifts, quality time, or acts of service).

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Alex the awesome

I really enjoy cuddling; I'm a tactile person. Platonic cuddling is awesome and my significant other has to put up with tons of cuddles (he doesn't complain).

I didn't realize this about myself for a long time, but I directly link hugs with acceptance. (I figured it out in a dream actually) You don't hug someone you don't accept and you certainly don't give cuddles to someone you don't love for who they are.

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I like vertical hugging, if that makes any sense.

If I'm horizontal then cuddling (or hugging or having physical contact with people in general) feels weird. Too much pressure here, too much heat, all that stuff. But hugging people I know very well while standing up feels just right. Like my body was made for doing that. I also feel very safe.

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Shattered-Glass

I both love 'em and hate 'em. Love them because cuddles/hugs just feel nice when they're with people you trust, and hate them because I have bad social anxiety and a fear of touch with most people. I think it's mostly caused by social anxiety - my anxiety is extreme and persistent. I actually fantasize about cuddles rather than sex, which I guess isn't unusual here. :P

The only people I'd like to cuddle would be a crush/significant other. I'd be super unlikely to want to cuddle with anybody else. I see cuddling as a generally romantic action.

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I'm starting to get a distaste for physical contact. It seems like its always just a way for guys to get one step closer to being ur boyfriend. Can someone hug me who doesnt want to bang me please?

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I'm starting to get a distaste for physical contact. It seems like its always just a way for guys to get one step closer to being ur boyfriend. Can someone hug me who doesnt want to bang me please?

Yup, this right here! I've had the great fortune of having two guys in my life that accepted my uninterest in doing more, so I got magical cuddle buddy arrangements out of it. Other than those two most of my guy friends wanted to get into my pants or into my emotionally-attached-to-you part of my brain. Uh no no no thank you!^-^

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I've always been a little nervous about cuddling with anyone other than my boyfriend, mostly because I don't want things to get sexual. I hugs and stuff, but sometimes it just gets a little too weird. I'm kinda touch-phobic, I guess. But, then again, I always feel a little touch-starved.

I really like cuddling my boyfriend, though. It's like having all the warmth of a sexual relationship without the gross sex. It's nice to know that there are people out there that are grossed out by sex that aren't 14 year-old girls...

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Petticoats and cuddles

For me, it depends on a few things: their relationship with me, their past with me and how good of a hugger they are.
For example: 'B' was a friend of mine, not too close, not too distant. He was an okay hugger, bit lanky but it was comfortable enough. After he asked me and three other friends out in the space of 3 weeks then it just got awkward.

'A' is a friend, not very close, big brother of my sister's boyfriend. he gives good hugs because he's pretty big!

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imafuturecatlady

I love cuddling. I think what I love most about it is that it doesn't really have to be with a romantic partner, I cuddle with my friends all the time. Since they know I'm ace, it doesn't really go anywhere farther, but I feel like cuddling has taken on a huge sexual component that really doesn't need to be there. Does cuddling really lead to sex? Not necessarily. But some people really seem to take it that way. As to why ace's like cuddling, I feel it's because depending on the person we cuddle with (whether they're ace or not) they've been touch deprived because it seems that people are focusing more and more on the sex, and leaving out the little cute romantic things in between. No matter what, I still really enjoy cuddling. ^_^

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Hmmm... Good question personally I love cuddling but it might be because I am looking for that bond that connection in a different way to them I also like the whole protecting thing would so like to have an asexual boyfriend

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I must admit, I'm really not much of a hugger. In fact, I go out of my way to avoid it, and tend to freeze up when hugged unexpectedly. I don't mind hugging my parents, or other adult relatives, but I won't initiate hugs with my younger sisters. When it comes to friends, I'll awkwardly initiate hugs if they are obviously in need of one, but otherwise I'd really rather they didn't do the hugging thing. Unfortunately, my current flatmates are very huggy and they don't always respect the fact that I'd rather not participate.

But, to be honest, I think that's just me and doesn't actually have anything to do with my ace-ness. I'm pretty intensely introverted and I suspect my dislike of physical contact stems from that. My personal space is very important to me, and I simply don't like it being invaded.

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HermioneGranger

I love the idea of having a cuddle buddy, but I have to have a pretty strong emotional connection to someone before I even want them to touch me, so that makes it difficult. My best friend and I cuddled once and it was so great I fell asleep immediately. I wish we could do that all the time.

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  • 3 months later...
Kuromi Akumura

I cuddle with my close guy friends allot :3 it kinda lead to his crush on me getting bigger but oh well. But not as much to girls mainly because stigma ( of girl and girl affection ) and i guess new territory i am to scared to try....... If it was my choice i cuddle with my best guy friend in my bed during sleep overs but my mother thinks a boy and girl being anywhere within 3 feet radius means they are f*ckign each other :/

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Cuddles are awesome ^.^ I wish I could have some haha. I love snuggling up with someone I like and trust, even if it was just a friend... iunfortunately I never get to do this because it seems cuddles always have to equal something to do with sex and HELL NO not going there! I also love cuddles with a significant other and wouldn't mind the occasional kiss or two... but when it comes to tongues and 'making out' its just not my thing. Me being asexual is what has lead to my relationships failing and I miss haveing someone to snuggle with

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