wondering

[night_raven]

Yeah, i know that i'm posting a whole lot in a short time, but these are things that i've been thinking about for a while, and this place has provided me with a perfect sounding board for my thoughts, confusion, questions, and general craziness.

I know that i'm probably going to be stepping on some toes here, but please bear with me.

What is it that you think causes asexuality? I know that there are going to be many answers, some will say psychological issues, others will say genetic, and otehrs will say that for some reason or other it just doesn't "happen" for them.

Before saying what i think on this (and please remember, this is just from my own thinking and some "research", and only an opinion) I want to say that i am a christian. So to say that since homosexuality is a genetic thing, and so must asexuality wont convince me, because i think that homosexuality is a case where for some reason something clicked in a person's mind that it was the same sex that was attractive (sort of the way a fetish comes about), and i think that is is something for a person to struggle against, and not to do.

But for asexuality, could it be chemical? that for some reason the chemicals that cause the sex drive (like testosterone) do not affect the person in that way? Could it in some cases be traced to something psychological, and not to sound cliched, but back to a childhood experience? Could it be that for some reason a person held down their sexual desires, maybe because they didn't think that what "turned them on" wasn't normal, or for some other reason, and therefore just lost all interest?

I really don't mean to offend anyone with these, it is just some conclusions that i've come to. And again, i am not a certified psychologist (yet) to say your mother's brother's daughter's friend said something, or a physician who could tell you that something chemical could cause it.

Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? Sorry for my long-windedness, but these are things that i really would like to get feedback on.

[jeve]

Okay. I dont believe that the homosexual or asexual (and possibly bisexual) is genetic. The entire purpose of genes is to further the species. How can an asexual or homosexual pass on their gay or a genes? The gay/a gene would fade into extinction or would crop up (through the hetero/bi siblings) about as often as the gene for Down's Syndrome or diabetes at best. That 1 in 10 people are gay does not in any way fit with this. However. there are females who, right before they are born, have a wave of testerone wash over them. The girl then is physically a female, but mentally 80% male. Such females do marry men on occasion, but the point is, its not a gene. Children not picked or touched often in the first year of life are stunted or die. Nothing to do with genes. So to finally get to the point, with asexuality and homosexuality, I believe that "LIFE HAPPENS". I also believe that it is somewhat of a choice. I can either choose to be true to myself and have self-respect and not try to be something I am not (sexual), or I can please those around me and be perpetually unhappy and living in a sea of shame. I probably could go sexual. Im just not going to. LIFE HAPPENED and God made people the way they are.

[nemesis]

Jesed's argument makes sense to me. I don't know much psycology, but, I can tell you the following... In my case:

could it be chemical?

I don't know and there isn't research on this to go look it up.

Could it in some cases be traced to something psychological, and not to sound cliched, but back to a childhood experience?

I had a very nice childhood for the most part (and I woudn't trade it for anything). Nothing tramatic. My siblings (all 4 of them) are sexual as far as I know.

Could it be that for some reason a person held down their sexual desires, maybe because they didn't think that what "turned them on" wasn't normal, or for some other reason, and therefore just lost all interest?

It was a matter of not getting "turned on" at all. I'm not sure how exactly I can explain it... it'd be like if you were in a room full of cats or something... you just don't look at them sexually, it likely wouldn't even occure to you (unless you're very sick). It's always been like that with me, with everything and everyone.

[Eta Carinae]

Could it be that for some reason a person held down their sexual desires, maybe because they didn't think that what "turned them on" wasn't normal, or for some other reason, and therefore just lost all interest?

I don't know about the other things, but I can say that this isn't true for me. I did get horny as a child (and still do now on rare occasions), but it wasn't caused by anything I found unnatural or odd (and frequently, it wasn't caused by anything noticeable at all). And except for a brief few months in fifth grade when I unsuccessfully tried to stop masturbating, I never tried to surpress that. In fact, my sex drive only started to slowly go downhill once I was about seventeen or so -- and that was long after I realized that I wasn't attracted in either sex.

I also want to add that there seem to be so few asexuals that it very well could be genetic. I don't think that it is, really, but I don't deny that the possibility is there.

[night_raven]

again, i didn't mean it that any of those things i wrote were true, just possibilites and things came to me. i have a tendency to just write things down as they come, and it's sort of a way to get things a little straighter for me.

[Orpheus]

I'll admit it, somtime I get those "manily" desires. Oddly enough I've found that when it happens, all i have to do is play my guitar and that satisfies me. Why this is, I'll never know, and why we are how we are I will not know either. I say it's like this, accept the world and the people in it, otherwise you'll spend your life trying to find answers that don't exsist.