• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
The Great WTF

The Success Stories Thread

Recommended Posts

AnotherEli

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now! She's asexual and sex-averse. Somewhat in contrast to many of the other stories listed here: we both knew she was asexual before I asked her on a date. I love her and her sexuality, just like I love any other aspect of her personality. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
belovedless
On 1/2/2014 at 11:30 AM, belovedless said:

I am in a successful primary friendship! We've been friends only since August and agreed at the beginning of last November to stick together with a dedication to always grow and foster that friendship. We've also agreed that neither of us will seek out a romantic partner, and we are roommates.

It's really an amazing story. I started working my new job, and she is my colleague. We began carpooling and just chatting. I came out as asexual; she told me she was a straight sexual. But then, she took a super active interest in all things asexual, and it turns out that she sort of fits the definition (although will not subscribe to the label) and is predominately attracted to building spiritual friendships with women. She has no interest in marriage, and virtually no interest in men. It took a couple months for her to confess all that to me, all the while she and I had been building an emotionally-connected friendship. Then, everything fell into line. it's wonderful to be in an organic, asexual, sensual, and mutual passionate friendship!

I thought I'd update people on my "Success Story," first written back in 2014, for my "primary friendship" started in November of 2013. I am still involved with this person, almost 4 years later! We consider one another as a partner, and we are still roommates. Of course we've had our ups and downs, but we are dedicated to maintaining our friendship. We hope to stay together as lifelong roommates and partners. Here's hoping! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Amnesiac

Lucky enough to be in a mutually Ace relationship and have been for 2 and a half years now! We met and started speaking because of this place and now she's not only my partner, but my best friend too! It's weird to remember a time when she hasn't been there now, she's a keeper for sure :)  @Cazii

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JMichael

I'm a mostly happy-go-lucky, hopeless romantic ace. I have been with my partner for 17 years, married for 14. Our different forms of attraction haven't gotten in the way of lots of wonderful adventures, caring for two dogs, and enjoying spending time with each other's family. I don't mean to sugarcoat things, it isn't always easy, and there are times when I know we let each other down. There's a lot of communication work and creativity involved, but isn't that the case with any relationship that works? She is more introverted than I am, and i have some amazing platonic "soul friends"  that I connect with for significant socializing. One key factor is regular conversation on the meaning, significance and positive effects of our bond. Along with that, It has meant remembering to share gratitude for our different ways of appreciating each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ArcticFoxes

I've been married for a year and a half to a sexual partner. We are in a polyamorous relationship. He has high sexual attraction to new people, but a low libido after that. That works well for me as I am quite happy to have sex with him for sensual and romantic reasons, but rarely, due to his libido being low, so I don't feel like it's a chore or obligation. He's happy sexually, and so am I. He was more excited than I was to find the grey-a/asexual label for me than I was. It was super sweet. x)

 

I have also dated other people, and slept with them, though since accepting myself more these relations have changed in nature as I am far less willing to compromise on what I want. I have yet to have a new relationship since I started identifying as ace...But there may be something in the pipeline, I met someone through the poly community that is on the ace spectrum and we get along well, so will see if anything happens there...^.^

 

Either way, my life as it is right now and my relationships and friendships I have made are all a huge success in my eyes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wooyoo

Hello everyone

I felt compelled to join your community after reading the recent Daily Telegraph article and following the link. To keep it short, I simply wanted to offer hope and any support if I can be of help. My wife and I have been very happily married some 33 years and have been together 36 in all. I love her even more today than the day I first saw her and I find her just as sexy and attractive. The twist is that I have always had a high sex drive and she is asexual, something we never knew until a while after we were married.

Of course there is a convoluted back story to all this that I won't bore you with. I just wanted to tell you that it is possible to find a  partner and be happy regardless of different sexual energies. It takes work. It takes adjustment. Of course it does, but so do all relationships. From my perspective, however, sex is 95% important in a bad relationship and only 5% important in a strong relationship. When two people fall in love choosing to make a 5% adjustment is not so daunting.

If you find comfort in this note feel free to fire away with questions. I just showed my wife the article and she was surprised and relieved to find so many who felt the same things she has felt all these years. Then I came on AVEN and there seemed an overwhelming loneliness about the forums. So, I just wanted to offer some hope. Maybe it is rare, but it is not impossible.

 

Best

WY

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Avangelica

Last year I became friends with a girl who was dating a guy. We got closer and closer everyday until you could no longer tell who she was actually dating. Then after a very rocky ending to her relationship and a recovery period for her we started to take a better look at our own relationship and realized we wanted to use the terms 'girlfriends' and 'dating' as saying we were just platonic friends really didn't feel right to us. I also helped her to discover romantic preferences and sexuality didn't have to be the same which in turn helped her figure out the depths of her romantic and sexual attractions.

We both recently moved into residences at separate universities in Ottawa and are still very happily together. We help each other through our bad days and enjoy the bliss of good days. It's the first time I haven't felt caged and depressed when in a relationship. Part of that I think comes from the fact that she isn't sexually interested in women so I feel no obligation to fulfill those needs and that I am perfectly okay with her seeking both sexual and romantic relationships with other people. She actually has two boyfriends as well and the three of us all know about each other and I've already met one of them (he's lovely and we are sarcastic a**holes together). 

I know our type of relationship isn't common place or a possibility for everyone. Not everyone would be comfortable sharing their partner with others, but with us it works. She has so much love to give; I want her to be happy and well cared for and the two men in her life help me to accomplish that. It goes to show how trying new things, taking chances, and communicating the limits of what your comfortable with really helps in a relationship (not just romantic ones). 

My girlfriend is my success story and I couldn't see my life without her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chaotic_Kitten

I have been with a sexual guy for 13 yrs, married for 11yrs. I did not figure out I was on the ACE spectrum til after we were married. We thought I was just depressed which caused touch aversion. I knew I was different, but I did not know why. My husband was and still is super understanding and patient with me. We have a great life and are looking forward many more good years. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sibemarie

I have met my best friend/"partner" 20 years ago. I am female and he is male. Through the years we became friends and then closer friends. He had dates in the meanwhile but our friendship evolved to this natural relationship with strong bonds of lifestyle, ideas and oppinions. Shared happiness, sorrow, mutual support. Travelled together. Never kissed, never felt mutually atracted in anything physical. A deep connected but completelly asexual relationship. Sadly we have been away from each other recently due to my work abroad. Apart from the oods, i can consider i have met the person i need. What i wanted, a true, great, amazing best friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SuperSpAceChips

I had began truely identifying as asexual around two years ago and learned that this is why i don't find people attractive or sexy or hot. However, around three years ago, i began developing this crush on a friend of mine. I couldn't stop talking or thinking about him and every little thing he did (none of these thoughts were sexual obviously, it was just me literally thinking about him. I didn't even know i was supposed to think about sexual things with crushes...that's sorta weird). He was the perfect person and i loved being around him. I never really thought much of it until 2015 where i began to really love him and he was the only thing on my mind. I had never really mustered up the courage to tell him. 

 

      That is until i noticed my feelings being reciprocated about october of last year. It had taken long enough! On November 14 2016, the love of my life told me he liked me. But not just liked me. He "loved me." i couldn't believe it, and now a year later, i still can't believe it!

   

  A couple of months ago i came out as asexual to him and he was surprisingly accepting of it.

 

A few weeks ago, i realized why as he told me that he was asexual himself! Now we're two asexuals who've been madly in love with each other for a year now and will continue to love each other for years to come.

   

        Here is my success story. Thanks for reading!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Astryda

I've been married to my husband for a bit ober 2 years. He is sexual, however his needs fit into my asexual frame of what I want and don't want to do in that matter. So far it's working well :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AwkwardAxolotl
On 5/15/2017 at 7:11 PM, AwkwardAxolotl said:

I've been a queerplatonic relationship with a polyamorous, pansexual woman for 5 years now. I was always scared that she'd fall in love with a non-asexual person and not have time for me anymore, and she did fall in love with a heterosexual guy and marry him, but instead of losing her, I gained another queerplatonic partner. A married couple and their asexual partner might not be a traditional relationship format, but it works for us.

Update: My queerplatonic partner, her husband, and I just signed a lease for a house. I'm excited to be living with them full-time :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lastsnowfall

I've met my boyfriend over the website asexualitic.com - I didn't have much hope for this website, but I thought that I may win some new friends - after a year being registered but hardly active, I received a message from him on my instagram account (put my name up in the info box of asexualitic.com) and we started messaging each other every day for the first month - and then he decided he'd come to visit me in Germany (he lives in Stuttgart) - the first 3 days were akward and wonderful at the same time, and when it was to say goodbye he finally kissed me - that was the moment that broke the ice and after a few meetups later we decided to make things official and now we're in a happy long-distance relationship; we see each other every 3-4 weeks and he's the most lovely and caring boyfriend I could have ever asked for :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now