(graphic . . . ish) Does anyone self-please?

[Skipeople]

I am curious if anyone else masturbates on occasion.

Though I do not desire actual sexual intercourse, I do enjoy an orgasm every now and then (mostly during and after menstruation from hormonal changes) with no actual penetration. Does anyone else here actually self-serve from a pleasure, endorphin standpoint rather than a pure sexual act? I just found out about this asexual type yesterday and I feel that I certainly fit, but I am still trying to figure myself out and everything.

I have never talked about this stuff with anyone because the subject makes me uncomfortable, but for some reason, this atmosphere and openness makes me less anxious. Plus, I'm hiding behind a screen!

[vsall]

the fact that someone doesnt want sexual intercourse with another person, doesn`t mean that he/she has no sex drive.

might be against your will or not, but human body might have sexual needs :3

and sometimes our body doesnt give a f*ck about our ideology :P

so the ones` who got a sex drive, but cannot/dont want to achieve orgasm with someone else, tend to masturbate .

Its not strange and to me its natural.

no do not feel uncomfortable :)

[The B]

Hell to the yes!

I am completely convinced that flicking my bean doesn't have to be all about sexual stuff. Sometimes I just wanna do something that feels good, you know? Orgasms are so awesome, and then relaxing and de-stressing and why not enjoy every bundle of nerve endings to their full capacity?

[WhenSummersGone]

I enjoy the end result to masturbation as well, although the actual act feels like a chore. I've never seen it as sexual but more "this part of me feels good when stimulated so I'll keep doing it".

[Malony]

Hell yeah. My electric toothbrush is my best friend. :D

I used to do it every night, but nowadays maybe every other week. I'm very proficient at it now, too. lol. Just another reason why I always thought sex is boring, It takes so damn long,...

[Philip027]

I wouldn't even know how, and quite frankly it doesn't seem appealing at all.

[Lia]

Moved to The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions

Lia

Asexual Q&A Mod

[marki]

Hell to the yes!

I am completely convinced that flicking my bean doesn't have to be all about sexual stuff. Sometimes I just wanna do something that feels good, you know? Orgasms are so awesome, and then relaxing and de-stressing and why not enjoy every bundle of nerve endings to their full capacity?

Um sorry if this comes across as stupid...what do you mean flicking the bean?

To the original post yes I do it sometimes if I am bored because it is a good way to kill a couple minutes although I don't really like the way it feels. Still it is better to control it myself than to have to wake up in the middle of the night having to deal with the horrible feeling of having a wet dream. Those totally suck !

[Guest]

Many, many aces masturbate. If the polls that have been made on here are an accurate indication, only ~30% of us never do it or "tried it once, found it pointless".

Personally, I do quite regularly, but find it annoying as hell. It's less "self-pleasuring", more a nasty chore of "get rid of that muscle cramp in my pants and take out the trash". I'd love to get ED some time down the line so I could be free from this, and I dearly envy the nonlibidoists among us. *sigh*

[andrewharlan]

I masturbate. It's been once a day lately.

Nofap is intriguing and I want to try but I break down too easily. So I guess I kinda do it compulsively.

My orgasms are weak (which nofap is supposed to help with). When I got a girl off for the first time not too long ago, I was _shocked_ at how powerful her orgasm was. And she can get them over and over and over again.

I was never really exposed to someone else's sexuality until that moment. The contrast between hers and mine was very stark. And I was all, "Well, shit."

[iamphoenixfire]

Yup. Although for me, sometimes it's out of a sexual response, but that isn't common, it's more just the whole, "that feels really really good oh my goodness."

But, i don't usually see the sexual aspect of it, at least not usually.

[Janus the Fox]

I certantly do, usually just for my own pleasure. Every couple of days like around twice a week or more, sometimes less. ;)

I've experimented with different methods to achieve different or stronger and even more feminine orgasms within my male body.

Masturbation is more of an individualistic pastime with varing and to often then not, for any conceivable reason. There's aces the do or don't and also sexuals that do or don't, on any frequency scale and for whatever triggers th libido. :)

[Guest]

Many, many aces masturbate. If the polls that have been made on here are an accurate indication, only ~30% of us never do it or "tried it once, found it pointless".

Joining the bandwagon. However, I feel like I'm only saying this because I don't have the right body to feel any pleasure from masturbation, and it's one of the reasons (minor, but nevertheless it's there) why I feel unhappy about what I was born with.

[The B]

Hell to the yes!

I am completely convinced that flicking my bean doesn't have to be all about sexual stuff. Sometimes I just wanna do something that feels good, you know? Orgasms are so awesome, and then relaxing and de-stressing and why not enjoy every bundle of nerve endings to their full capacity?

Um sorry if this comes across as stupid...what do you mean flicking the bean?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flicking%20the%20bean

[~Rikki~]

I do only when my body needs it. Usually alone though as I'm single. It's about once every week to two weeks. The only time it's a sexual thing for me is if I'm with someone.

[CatGirl2016]

Hell to the yes!

I am completely convinced that flicking my bean doesn't have to be all about sexual stuff. Sometimes I just wanna do something that feels good, you know? Orgasms are so awesome, and then relaxing and de-stressing and why not enjoy every bundle of nerve endings to their full capacity?

Um sorry if this comes across as stupid...what do you mean flicking the bean?

To the original post yes I do it sometimes if I am bored because it is a good way to kill a couple minutes although I don't really like the way it feels. Still it is better to control it myself than to have to wake up in the middle of the night having to deal with the horrible feeling of having a wet dream. Those totally suck !

It means when a woman masturbates and the bean is a slang word for her clit.

I very occasionally do it, sometimes depends on time of month as well and its strange if I am tired i won't do it or i get bored half way through. LOL I also do it to find out my sexual response so I find out what feels good so someone else can have a go! ;) It would not be anymore sexual if I was with someone or not but I do like men x

[marki]

Oooh ∆ Thanks for helping explain!

Lol never would have guessed that one! I always thought it was a tiny penis not a bean!

[TellerCam]

I'm intersex so I have a different variant of anatomy, but it's possible to self-please nonetheless. I find it to be much more natural to do, than to do it with someone else -- to me, that's just creepy. It seems like stimulation should be something someone does alone, in private. It's hard for me to comprehend how someone would go out of their way to do THAT with someone else. I also have the weird psychic connection, so it's impossible to physically or mechanically get aroused (if anything, it weirds me out). Instead, if I think about particular topics, which are completely non-sexual, I can experience orgasms. I've actually tried to see if it would be possible to get aroused by genital stimulation, but it just made me want to throw up. It's a little bit hilarious, and quite sad, because in my mind I have never "mastrubated". I think mastrubation involves physical stimulation. Therefore, I haven't received chastising from various religions, because I respond that I've never mastrubated, technically speaking. Instead, my mind is somehow powerful enough to generate orgasms that radiate throughout my body, instead of staying in the pelvic region. I've heard of other people who could do it, but they were mostly much older self-empowered feminists.

[boxed toast]

Meh, I have to be very careful with mastribation or it'll screw up my hormones. Do it too much and it starts feeling really really horrible; do it too little and I get tense and stressed out. I tried Nofap, but it didn't have much of an effect. I think my abstinence from porn kinda negates the benefits of not fapping (side note, watching anything weakens the affect). So long as I keep it to once every few days my orgasms don't become weak, and it doesn't become a chore.

[Frac]

I should've found this thread before creating a new one in the Relationships section. I typically use masturbation as a tool to get ready for having sex, but recently I've gotten interested in using it for solitary fun as well, partly due to my SO encouraging me to explore myself. I thought that why not, if I can learn how to use my body, I might be able to use that knowledge to get more out of actual sex too. It might turn out to also be fun by itself, but currently I do it so rarely it's still very much just a means to an end, which is being able to occassionally have sex with my partner. I only started "practising" by myself somewhat recently and I do it with such a low frequency that I haven't been able to reach orgasm just yet, but I'm pretty sure I got close to it the couple last times I tried it, so I'm making progress.

[azuresky]

I do it pretty often. It feels nice and helps me get sleepy. Honestly, I'd rather get myself to my destination in two to three minutes rather than having someone bang me for twenty, during which I may or may not actually feel any pleasure. All in all, I'm cool with masturbation but I think doing it too frequently can take away from the positive effects of it and make it rather boring.

[Mycroft is Yourcroft]

I'm part of the 30% who has never masturbated (I think I'm nonlibidoist) and I have never felt the need for any kind of release, or whatever. Personally, I find the idea kind of disgusting, and I hate the idea that my body would demand things that are non-essential to me continuing to walk and talk (for anyone who watches 'Sherlock': "The brain is what counts, everything else is transport" :P ).

My ex couldn't believe that I had never masturbated, and spent a lot of time trying to convince me that I MUST'VE, and that I must have been thinking of him at the time too, before he finally believed me.

[Jayde]

Personally, I find the idea kind of disgusting, and I hate the idea that my body would demand things that are non-essential to me continuing to walk and talk (for anyone who watches 'Sherlock': "The brain is what counts, everything else is transport" :P ).

Oh sherlock :D awesome use of quote.

That aside, I masturbate regularly, it feels good, provides feel-good hormones to deal with stress, and helps me get to sleep. It can be sexual or it can be a quick 'adjustment' *shrug* it depends on why I'm doing it...

[Truebuggy]

I totally do, but I have to work myself up to sexual arousal...like I have to put effort into it for it to feel good. And while I enjoy it, and even though I've done it my whole life, I've never had an orgasm, which makes me pretty sad. I thought it maybe had to do with my gray asexuality? Anyway some days I just don't care enough to try.

[panladea]

yeah i dont think i can orgasm, or i dont want to, not sure.. but i do "self-please" occasionally haha

[Lenika]

I'm part of the 30% who has never masturbated (I think I'm nonlibidoist) and I have never felt the need for any kind of release, or whatever. Personally, I find the idea kind of disgusting, and I hate the idea that my body would demand things that are non-essential to me continuing to walk and talk (for anyone who watches 'Sherlock': "The brain is what counts, everything else is transport" :P ).

My ex couldn't believe that I had never masturbated, and spent a lot of time trying to convince me that I MUST'VE, and that I must have been thinking of him at the time too, before he finally believed me.

I don't either. I sorta tried thinking 'well if I can M-bate then i'm not asexual'. Well turns out that was false but it also turns out I have absolutely no pleasure from anything at all. Actually I found it kinda painful. And I never insert anything, that would REALLY F'ing hurt! I have never had a need or desire either.

I only ever had one occurrence of something I thought was an orgasm, but it was really unpleasant and totally not what people describe an org as. It was also a random out of the blue thing that happened suddenly for no reason at all. Pretty horrifying actually. I talked with a woman that deals with sexual dysfunction and she was pretty sure it wasn't an orgasm and rather a muscle spasm. (I get bad muscle spasms due to a head injury that messed up my nervous system) So I don't know. I'm glad it hasn't ever happened again, whatever it was. All I could wish for is if some day my body ever betrayed me, I hope it at least feels good as people say it is. Lol!

[ripelectricity]

This is when I start to get a little puzzled, but perhaps unnecessarily so. I masturbate, though it's not as frequent as, say, when I was a teen and would sneak porn (I now am very against porn). That stuff used to excite me and I do like sexual fantasies during masturbation but they are things I would never consider doing outside of myself. To me, the fantasies (and porn, when I watched it) are this thing outside of myself that happens to arouse me. But if I were to be any more directly related to it, I would not enjoy it. Does this make sense?

For so long I figured that if I have these urges it means I am NOT grey-a. But that's not true, right? It just means I have a degree of sexual arousal but it doesn't automatically need to translate to me wanting to go out and do these things or experience them with another person.

[MadRat]

I do it pretty often. I´m sex-repulsed asexual but I still have libido.

[AasthaRisk]

I tend to do it a lot when I'm bored (in the same ilk as Scott Pilgrim's peeing due to boredom), and I've definitely noticed that my orgasms are a lot weaker than my partner's were. Sometimes it can be really enjoyable and more powerful if I take my time over it, but even then I kinda get bored of the build up and just want it to be over so I can get on with my day. The subject does make me very uncomfortable - I get embarrassed at myself for doing it, and I certainly don't like talking about it. I only discovered it about a year ago when the doctor told me to try it to combat vaginismus, else I don't think I'd have bothered otherwise!

[Certified Cake Decorator]

Really it just makes me sweaty and hot and uncomfortable and embarrassed. Also tired. The only time i ever even think of something sexual is when i can't fall asleep. Sex makes me fall asleep. Wow. I'm one of those people that can think themselves to orgasm which sucks. Why couldnt someone else have this "gift"?! It is wasted on me.

Tried it a few times. Not really all that great as sexual people make it out to be. More power to those that enjoy it though. I just use it to reduce cramps. Curse my female organs.