Agender but cis...something. Huh?

[The B]

Explain this to me.

I don't have a concept of gender for myself. I don't understand what certain things - like mannerisms, personality, choice in clothing, etc. - have to do with what I happen to have between my legs. I don't think the two relate at all. I think it's very important for people to be able to act however they want, dress however they want, do whatever they want, etc. - without being "expected" to do anything because of what they have downstairs. I believe very strongly in smashing gender stereotypes and gender roles.

I believe I'm agender, because of that. I don't "feel" female in my mind. It's not necessary for me to dress or act female. I just act how I want to act. If it means wearing makeup and heels today and no makeup and boxers tomorrow, okay. But it's not because I want to feel a certain gender, it's because I want to do certain things just because I want to. Gender doesn't cross my mind.

I am female by sex. I am fine with this, and am totally comfy with being called female, and "she", and those sorts of things. I've happily accepted it. I would have happily accepted any sex, I am not particularly "patriotic" about my gender or whatever word actually works there. Sometimes I feel like it might have been interesting to have been born a man, but I don't want to bother with all the trouble of modifying my privates to find out, so um, gotta be cool with what I've got.

tl;dr: I am comfortable with being identified based on my sex, but my gender doesn't exist. What am I?

Also, are there any others like me here?

[Wolf.star]

Many people who are agender prefer being identified by certain pronouns (he/she/they). I personally don't mind whatever pronoun someone uses, whether it's because I'm biologically female or because I apparently come across as male on Teh Interwebz. But I do know some agendered/gender neutral/genderless people on AVEN and otherwise that identify as not having a gender but prefer one pronoun over the other.

As for dress and the way you act, it really has nothing to do with gender. I will, on occasion, dress "feminine", just because I feel like it. I dress more androgynously than anything, though. Looking a certain way doesn't define your gender identity.

[Notte stellata]

I'm exactly the same! Gender doesn't exist as a thing for me. When asked for my gender, I'm comfortable saying "female" based on my sex, but I don't "feel female." I like the term "cis-genderless" some AVENites use, because it combines the cis part and the "no concept of gender" part.

[pinkroses]

I feel the same way. sometimes i feel like i dont have a sex. though sometimes i feel like a boy. the thought of dressing boyish appeals to me. probably because alot of my clothes are "girly". mostly as in tight. :'( girl jeans are terrible. but soon i will be going to the store and getting some boys shorts. :) the idea appeals to me. actually i think im kinda excited. girl clothes shopping is terrible. i detest it. > :(

I'm exactly the same! Gender doesn't exist as a thing for me. When asked for my gender, I'm comfortable saying "female" based on my sex, but I don't "feel female." I like the term "cis-genderless" some AVENites use, because it combines the cis part and the "no concept of gender" part.

what is cis genderless?

[Notte stellata]

I'm exactly the same! Gender doesn't exist as a thing for me. When asked for my gender, I'm comfortable saying "female" based on my sex, but I don't "feel female." I like the term "cis-genderless" some AVENites use, because it combines the cis part and the "no concept of gender" part.

what is cis genderless?

It's basically like what I said about myself: being cis-gendered in the sense that you don't mind identifying with your sex, but you're just doing so by default, not because you have a strong attachment to your sex. So you're kind of cis and kind of genderless. The term can be confusing though, because people may interpret it as your body is neither male or female.

[The B]

Hrmmm, I dunno about cis-genderless. Is that easily understood as "I'm fine with you calling me a girl, but that doesn't mean I feel like a girl or am going to always act like a girl"?

I am attached to people calling me female - I don't want to be called male or "they". I'm kind of proud of surviving on this planet for so long as a female sexed person, honestly. I feel like the feminist movement and the "smashing gender stereotypes" movement have a lot in common, so maybe that's why I feel a little more girl power pride or whatever

I buy an equal amount of girl clothes and guy clothes. I know my size in every style of stuff, I just try on whatever. At first I thought people would say or do something, but they just assume I'm buying it for someone else. When I go to try stuff on, I've got stuff from all over the store. Nobody cares.

Guy pants have high waists and are baggy in the crotch and thighs, or I'd like them more than I do.

[Notte stellata]

Hrmmm, I dunno about cis-genderless. Is that easily understood as "I'm fine with you calling me a girl, but that doesn't mean I feel like a girl or am going to always act like a girl"?

Not really, I guess. It's coined by someone on AVEN (Reptillian I think), but it's not an official or widely used term. I just think it fits me better than any other gender identity label.

[The B]

Yeah, it's kinda new to me. I realize not everyone knows about it, I just kind of worry, with spreading a newer term, is it easily understood right away just as it sounds, or does it need a breakdown of what it means...you know?

But I guess any new word really should be defined the first time you use it.

[NiTeLight]

You are in good company, B. I feel the same way. The way I've referred to myself so far is "female by default". I mostly of identify as agender, as I certainly don't feel female nor male, but I definitely prefer female pronouns. I don't want to be called he/they and I'll correct anyone who refers to me that way, but I think it's more because it's what I'm used to and is comfortable than for any particular affinity for my female body.

Here's some relevant terms...

agender: neither male nor female

genderless: a person with no conscious gender identity; a person who would be comfortable in any body

cisgender: a person whose sex and gender match

neutrois: a person who wishes to have a blank, sexless body

What most people here seem to be talking about so far is being X sex and genderless or agender.

Cisgenderless is a bit odd and not intuitively easy to define. However, to me it indicates someone who is comfortable being whatever gender their body's sex is ("cis"), but implies a general disassociation towards or identification with either gender ("genderless"). Cis-agender would be better, but it's more awkward to say.

Overall, however, I'd say I like the term, though whether I start using it or not is still up for debate. It'll be interesting to see if it becomes an official term or not.

I've also seen the term demigirl (or demiguy) which is yet another option, though I only just heard the term. But it makes sense, especially considering the ace community's tendency to identify concepts by creating new terms from existing ones (if we're going to apply the some of the prefixes to sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and gender, why not all of them?).

Demi-girl: someone assigned female (or male) at birth who feels but the barest association with that identification, though not a significant enough dissociation to create real physical discomfort or dysphoria.

I think I'd prefer demi-female as the term, though, because I associate "girl" more with sex than gender.

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/55798-definitions-master-list/

Tl;dr - gender is complex and weird, and I'm mostly agender but prefer to refer to myself as female because that is my sex (i.e. don't want to be called "he/they")

[Guest]

For what it's worth, a number of genderless people also describe their experience as either not understanding gender, or not relating to it, or even just not buying the whole concept and going with their biological sex by default, because it's the only option they can see fit for themselves.

I personally don't approve of the term cis-genderless because I find it confusing. Cisgender indicates a person who identifies as the gender that matches their biological sex. Genderless people don't identify with gender. So cis and genderless can't really go together IMHO, because it would suggest that the people who identify as such are born without a sex and identify with it.

Anyway, that's just my two cents/pet peeve with language consistency. All in all, anyone can use whatever term they like best, including yourself of course. :)

[ThaHoward]

I guess I'm like that. Never identified with any genders. Just happen to have a genital that points outwards. I don't - personally - believe in genderroles, and is completely apathetic to my gender/sex. But I just call myself for male because of simplicity.

[Chardog]

The B- I am very much like you. My female body doesn't bother me and I dont care about pronouns. I can dress very feminine or tomboyish, it depends on the occasion/how I feel. Internally, however, I'm definitely missing most of the female programming. If I have to give a label, I go with genderqueer.

[R_1]

what is cis genderless?

The term was coined by me as I wanted a label that describes people who simply say that they're male/female/neutro/inter due to the anatomical characteristics while having no idea what the heck "feeling male" and "feeling female" means. People who are cis-genderless are people who are fine with whatever body they are born as. Cis-genderless people asserts they are X because of Y anatomical characteristics because it is far more convenient for them to rely on observations that others can see rather than feelings. In many cases, these people have no concept of "acting female" or "acting male" outside of stereotypes as well.

[MXC]

I used to feel like this when I was younger. now honestly being perceived as female does bother me even if I don't have particular issues with my body as I don't see it as gendered. I do have issues with breast (and always had in some ways) as it is too big. maybe if I had a small one I would be fine the way I am physically. I don't care about being perceived as male because I know I'm not; as for being perceived as female I know I have a female body and I don't like to be pinned down by it. even if it will feel weird I will be happy to get top surgery!

:)

[abacct]

Explain this to me.

I don't have a concept of gender for myself. I don't understand what certain things - like mannerisms, personality, choice in clothing, etc. - have to do with what I happen to have between my legs. I don't think the two relate at all. I think it's very important for people to be able to act however they want, dress however they want, do whatever they want, etc. - without being "expected" to do anything because of what they have downstairs. I believe very strongly in smashing gender stereotypes and gender roles.

I believe I'm agender, because of that. I don't "feel" female in my mind. It's not necessary for me to dress or act female. I just act how I want to act. If it means wearing makeup and heels today and no makeup and boxers tomorrow, okay. But it's not because I want to feel a certain gender, it's because I want to do certain things just because I want to. Gender doesn't cross my mind.

I am female by sex. I am fine with this, and am totally comfy with being called female, and "she", and those sorts of things. I've happily accepted it. I would have happily accepted any sex, I am not particularly "patriotic" about my gender or whatever word actually works there. Sometimes I feel like it might have been interesting to have been born a man, but I don't want to bother with all the trouble of modifying my privates to find out, so um, gotta be cool with what I've got.

tl;dr: I am comfortable with being identified based on my sex, but my gender doesn't exist. What am I?

Also, are there any others like me here?

I'm like that. I like being called Sir and Mr. more than their counterparts, and I want to be rid of breasts and such, but otherwise I'm the same way most of the time.

[Janus the Fox]

I can relate, the concept of gender in mind is non-existent, the body... Well dose'nt feel cis as I have gone a few lengths to feel and appear less masculine but at the same time I'm not going to great lengths with surgery, replacing what I've got with something that may feel the same to me. I may look into partial testosterone suppressants to see if I feel more comfortable or happier in my own skin in future, but in the time being, I'm fine with how things are. :)