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A really well-done comic on Asexuality

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#1 mayve


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Posted 01 November 2013 - 06:18 PM

Source: http://adriofthedead...iously-late-for















Image reads:


Hello, my name is Adri, and I am asexual. What does this mean?

Asexual: One who does not experience or rarely experiences sexual attraction to any gender, or who otherwise have very little interest in sexual activity, if at all.


Compared to other orientations, asexuality is still a relatively new thing to most people.

Assuming they’ve actually heard of it, that is.

While it is slowly gaining more publicity and recognition as an orientation, it is still widely underrepresented and misunderstood.

For Asexuality Awareness Week, I wanted to create this comic in hopes of dispelling some misconceptions about asexuals and asexuality.

Let’s shed some color on asexuality!


Myth: Asexuality = Celibacy.


Asexuality and celibacy are two entirely different things.

One is the willful choice to abstain from sexual activity due to either religious or personal beliefs… 

…while the other is an orientation, and is not a choice.


Additionally, asexuals do not abstain out of some false sense of moral superiority, despite what a lot of people seem to believe.

They’re simply either not interested, or do not experience sexual attraction. That’s it.


It’s important to note that not everything has the exact same lifestyle.

Be respectful of other people’s sexual habits, whether they abstain from them or not.


Myth: Asexuals are cold, loveless & they hate sex.


Quite the contrary! Asexuals have the capacity to form healthy and loving relationships, based upon romantic orientation. Romantic orientation is what determines the kind of person you’re attracted to emotionally or romantically, rather than sexually.

Heteroromantic, Homoromantic, Biromantic, Panromantic.


Some also identify as aromantic, meaning they have no interest in forming romantic relationships with anyone of any gender.

Not to say that aromantic people are unable to love anyone at all! Their interest lies in love that is more familial than romantic.


Not all asexuals hate sex or are sex-repulsed; in fact, many asexuals still form sexual relationships and engage in sexual activity, for a variety of reasons…

… whether it’s out of desire to please a sexual partner or to reproduce.


There is no split dichotomy between sexuality and asexuality.

Asexuality, like any other orientation, exists on a spectrum.

It is, of course, up to the individual to determine exactly where they fall on the spectrum.


Myth: Asexuals don’t experience oppression or discrimination.


White it is true that, as a group, asexuals are not societally oppressed for their asexuality, individuals can be and often are oppressed for their respective romantic orientations or their gender identity.

Asexuals are also at high risk for sexual harassment and violence, including what’s known as “corrective rape” — a rape that’s committed with the intent of “fixing” the victim’s orientation.


Due to lack of proper information and representation, many who are open about their asexuality are often the target of hostility and prejudice, from both heterosexual people and from those in the LGBTQIA community.

A study conducted in 2012 revealed that there were high levels of in-community discrimination towards asexuals, who were described by many as “cold” and “animalistic”.


This, combined with the attitude that all healthy and happy people love and want sex that our society adopts and continually perpetuated, often leads many who aren’t yet aware of their asexuality to believe they are alone or are “broken” in some way.

Even some who are already open about being asexual often have a hard time accepting themselves because of this.

Though asexuals do not often experience the same sorts of problems as gay or trans* people do, this does not mean that they don’t experience any problems at all.


Myth: Asexuals are just whiny virgins who can’t “get laid”.


Not taking into account that the concept of virginity itself is a grossly archaic and damaging social construct that’s used to shame and commodify people, particularly women…

people who identify as asexual are not always virgins. In fact, many asexuals do not know that they are asexual until after they’ve already has intercourse.

And even for those who are virgins, the reason they’re asexual is not due to the fact that they can’t “get laid”; it’s because they have no interest in doing so.


Myth: Asexuals have a history or mental illness or sexual abuse


This is, unfortunately, a very common — and very untrue — belief about asexuality. That the lack of sexual attraction is the result of sexual abuse or a mental illness or disorder, such as autism.

Not only is this wildly ignorant and offensive to asexuals, but also to those who have experienced sexual abuse or who have a mental illness or disorder.

Sexual orientation is not exclusively determined by a person’s history, and this is just as true for asexuals. It is never appropriate to assume what anyone’s “reasons” are for their respective orientations.


Indeed, the amount of ignorance in regards to asexuality, even when it’s non-hostile, can lead to very problematic and isolating behavior.

When someone comes out as an asexual, it is not an open invitation to begin asking invasive, personal questions and micro-managing their sexual habits, even if your intentions are innocent.

Asexuals do not come out the seek “help” for their asexuality, nor do they do it to be self-serving or to somehow “take away” recognition and awareness from those of differing orientations.


(examples of what people say:


“You just haven’t found the right person yet…”

“Don’t be such a prude”

“Did someone rape you?”

“Get over yourself”

“But you’re so attractive!”

“Have you tried…”

“Maybe you’re depressed”)


Asexuals already experience staggering amounts of erasure and silencing

(example: “A is for Ally! Ally pride.” [not for asexuality])


They only wish for solidarity, to be accepted and understood. This is why things like asexuality awareness week are so important.

(example of what asexuals would like to see from allies: “A is for asexual. Allies for awareness.”)


Only by raising awareness through thoughtful and concise information, and not cake analogies…

…can asexuals hope to, one day, be able to express themselves and be open about their feelings without fear of alienation.


Thanks for reading!

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#2 littleheartsofjoy


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Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:07 PM

Reading the comic made me have feelings. I was so glad to see that it was explained so well, but at the same time, the sad frame (2nd to last one) reminds me of how I feel sometimes.

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#3 Aqua-ace



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Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:10 PM

Great find! :D This neatly sums up all the basics of asexuality awareness and tackling the major misconceptions!

★★Resources and Survey Director of the Project Team★★ (PT also stands for "Party Time"! :cake: )
I blog at Cake at the Fortress, an asexuality and celibacy-related blog. The fortress is For Those Resisting Sexual Society! I'm also the admin of Outside of Sexuality, a more general board for outsiders of the sexual world.
I may use and understand certain terms differently, but make no mistake; I aim to defend those who don't want sex; to defend them from the pressure to justify oneself, and from one's own self-doubt, for those who feel like they can't defend their right to say no. It can be isolating being in a hypersexualized world, and sometimes we need reinforcement.

#4 `Silver


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Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:01 PM

It basically has full coverage of everything. I am so happy to see that. :D

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#5 Robin L

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:16 PM

I saw this on Tumblr today! Cuuuute!! :wub:

Um....I mean...great comic. Very detailed. Pretty sure that covers all asex 101 topics.
An admin of the AVENwiki, please help make it awesome! If you need to look up something ace related, it's a nice place to start.
中文無性戀網站 (Chinese asexual community website) Ich kann auch Deutsch sprechen.
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#6 WhenSummersGone



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Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:37 PM

I saw this the other day and I really like it! Hopefully as more pictures like this come out more and more people will read/know about Asexuality.
For me my Demisexuality is a lack of innate sexual desire until emotional connections have been made.

"I Am Who I Am" by Lee Ryan.

#7 eched


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Posted 02 November 2013 - 12:02 PM

Posted it on facebook. :)

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#8 mayve


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Posted 02 November 2013 - 05:40 PM


I've transcribed the comic's text for the visually impaired.

#9 Aceade


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Posted 02 November 2013 - 09:59 PM

Going to have to bookmark that comic for future reference.

Currently working on a Thief-style stealther that involves zombies spammers.


#10 ArtLover!


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Posted 11 November 2013 - 04:53 PM

Thank you so much for this comic!!! 

#11 Arcovia


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Posted 18 November 2013 - 06:46 AM

I do really like this comic and think it's very well-done...
It seems off that the artist lists romantic orientations and correctly defines them as based on attraction, but then moves aromantic to it's own panel and defines it by a disinterest in romantic relationships, instead of correctly being based on (lack of) attraction. It also seems odd to mention familial love instead of platonic love, given which one is usually talked about when discussing aromantics.
The part about sex-repulsion makes it seem synonymous with sex-hate/negativity.

I don't completely agree that asexuality can be defined by simple disinterest is sex, but I still appreciate that the artist mentioned and used both definitions instead of sticking to either one. :)
Overall it is a well-done and aesthetically pleasing informative comic; I just felt that another compliment would be redundant and decided to mention some things that bugged me about it.

~Demigender/Demifluid. I'm partly a specific gender the majority of the time, and experience fluidity for the other parts. In order of commonality I'm maverique, then neutrois, then female. All of these fluctuate in strength, sometimes to the point of being agender. I use non-binary as a nice umbrella term regardless of which "phase" I'm in. I use she/her pronouns and they/them pronouns.
~I don't experience romantic attraction, but unlike the majority of those who don't, I do feel romantic desire and wish to be in a relationship of some sort. I do have romantic preferences, but I don't know how firm they are. I've gotten criticism for identifying as romantic and as aromantic, so please don't harass me about my choice of label.

#12 ilovecats


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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:31 PM

It was quite good, saved^^

#13 Hermione Danger

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 06:47 PM

This is a very good find, Amy. :cake:


And  :cake: and  :vis: to adriofthedead for creating this awesome work.

Quotes from the TV show NUMB3RS
Sometimes cake is a series of algorithms to formulate an analysis. And sometimes cake is just...cake - Professor Charlie Eppes
Is this about the cake problem? What's the matter with you mathematicians, cake is never a problem. - Professor Lazlo

#14 House of Chimeras

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 11:16 PM

Wow, very nice find indeed. Very clean and informative.

If we use ‘we,’ ‘us,’ etc in posts we are referring to our multiple system (many people/identities/mind sharing one body). We're okay with answering questions, but understand we've already talked to a few mental health professionals about our condition and aren't interested in anyone trying to "play psychologist" over the internet. 

#15 littlepersonparadox



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Posted 29 November 2013 - 03:04 AM

Awesome post! I love this.

Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled. 
               -Richard P. Feynman
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
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#16 sithgirlix


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Posted 02 February 2014 - 02:19 AM

Thank you for posting this!  I've been getting heat from 2 out of the 4 people I've come out to, and that makes me afraid to come out to others.  And I'm not a big fan of the cake analogy either, despite thinking it's genius I think it's used too often and means nothing to people who think we're making this up.

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