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Why do people get mad if they are corrected/proven wrong?


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#1 ThaHoward

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:22 PM

Like often people get mad at me when I correct them. For me, it's about the truth. I see it as doing them a favor, by saying how it really is. And most importantly, doing others a favor. By not letting others spread false information, and then make a ignorant population regarding this manner. I actually get glad when someone correct me, as I will then know how it really is  and won't be ignorant. 

 

Why do you think so? And how difficult for you is it to swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong? How far will go, will you even argue against the other part when you realize you're actually wrong? 


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#2 Zero 

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:31 PM

People have soft egos, and most would rather live in their own fantasy than reality. Organized religion has prospered because of this. Shrug, I have the same issue with friends and them getting bitter because I gave them an unbiased opinion regarding an argument - they just wanted me to support them whether they were right it wrong.

I have no issue with accepting I'm wrong when given the facts, being right is more important to me than something as silly as ego.
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#3 Miss Terry

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:41 PM

Some pupils find it hard to accept correction, and some will argue back even when obvious errors are pointed out.  It's just how some people are.


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#4 Squirrel Combat

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:53 PM

Yeah, nobody likes to be wrong. It's even worse when their PROVEN wrong. And it's even WORSE when their proven wrong in front of a bunch of people. My reaction to being wrong depends on the situation. Sometimes I laugh it off other times I defend MY position or at least try to make myself sound a little less ignorant.



#5 FairlyAngel

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:54 PM

I don't like debates in general. Most of the times it's the one that is best at arguing that "wins" and gets to be right. Also, I find that right and wrong is seldom black and white...


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Posted 11 October 2013 - 03:54 PM

I think it's mostly because the person who's doing the "correcting", in most cases, is wrong or incredibly biased themselves and refuse to accept that. Not only that but they go on and on and continue to lecture even after the other side has accepted that they're wrong

... but I think we may need some examples
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#7 Massy

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:12 PM

...


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#8 Méshie Péshie

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:36 PM

I think it depends on the way the corrector states their opinion. If it is in a "I'm right and you're wrong so just accept it." hopefully it's obvious and I don't have to say why or how that is wrong and harmful. If they make it sound like their opinion just for the sake of continuing the conversation on it, that's fine. People can say things in a better way than they do but they don't stop to think,"Oh.. That sounds rude."


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#9 `Silver

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:39 PM

I dislike being told to shut up or that I'm ignorant without proof. However, if someone claims that I'm wrong and is able to prove it, all the better for me - I learn something new!

I can't see why people make a big deal of being right. I correct others when they're not and I expect them to do the same with me. I can but see this as a win-win situation.


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#10 sound_the_bugle

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:42 PM

I usually accept it and thank the person for the correction. Sometimes I believe I am right and will argue against them until they either convince me or I convince them. Admittedly, I don't like being wrong, but I know that I can be.


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#11 Grace Barton

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:46 PM

I think some people get embarrassed if they've been insistent on a point and are then proven wrong. It's about salvaging one's own pride and ego.


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#12 borrissimo

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:48 PM

it depends if it is something that can be construed as opinion rather than fact.


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#13 Robin L

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:00 PM

I was thinking about this, because the following scenario:

I was opening the butter box. I was too lazy to find the tab, so I opened it from a random corner. Then a 7-year-old corrected me for opening it wrong, and taught me to use the tab for easier opening.
I was resisting myself not to yell at him to shut up.
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#14 The DexOrcist

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:01 PM

Ego's, insecurities (Basically the same thing in my eyes) and a lack of maturity are, what I tend to find, the main reasons. These findings come from living with my dad, a man who is so Alpha Male, so immature and so insecure in being wrong, that he lies through his back teeth and pisses on the emotions of others, just to ensure he doesn't come across in anyway as wrong. My old man taught me how to be myself just by being himself. I am proud to say that I am bugger all like him :P  

The contradictions, the deer trapped in the head lights and the childish hissy fits are all part of some of humanities inability to accept gracious defeat. It happens every where I go. I find it amusing. If I am wrong, and I genuinely feel I am wrong, (rather than knowing I am wrong but not admitting it) have been fully convinced that I'm wrong, then up goes the hand, out of my mouth comes an apology and a general acceptance of respect in doing so is forthcoming. Other wise, I just toy with the person who is acting like all the above mentioned.

 

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#15 Phoenix Incarnate

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:07 PM

Most people are too insecure to know that they're not right all the time. I gladly admit I'm wrong if someone can prove it, and I do enjoy when someone enlightens me to something I didn't know before. As long as they're respectful about it. What I can't stand is when someone challenges something I know for a fact is right. I can't tell you how many people have tried to bust my balls and then when I show them the facts they get all bitchy. It's a total waste of my time. Most things people can learn simply by reading and educating themselves but it seems the vast majority enjoy stewing in their ignorance and spewing crap about things they know nothing about.


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#16 Vyanni Krace

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:11 PM

It wounds they're pride.


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#17 blue2

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:21 PM

Some people like to win arguments at any cost and try to make others wrong to boost their low self esteem.



#18 Waist of Thyme

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 06:07 PM

One time I had a history teacher who thought spelling and grammar were very important, moreso than any English teacher I ever had (questions on assignments had to be answered in a very specific format, and we lost points if we made too many mistakes). One time she used the phrase "I could care less" and I told her it was "I couldn't care less" and she responded with "Whatever". It made me mad because she was always talking about the importance of proper spelling, grammar, and sentence structure, but when I pointed out that her use of a phrase was incorrect, she got annoyed.


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#19 sanremi52890

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 07:45 PM

It depends on your tone of voice, and also how important the thing was that you were correcting. Were they angry, or just annoyed? If you were being annoying, it doesn't matter how right you are, people are likely to respond with annoyance.

 

If you were being tactful, and actually having an important debate or discussing important facts (rather than opinions, or totally unimportant facts), then people should be able to admit when they're wrong in a graceful manner .


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#20 shockkkk

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 09:40 PM

1. Because people take it as a direct attack on their intelligence.

 

2. Because a lot of the time the person doing the 'correcting', or 'disproving', is just a pseudo-intellectual, over-presumptuous dumbfuck who doesn't know what they are talking about. (See my post in the teachers teaching wrong things thread)



#21 PerfectlyDarkTails

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 11:40 PM

I find it goes both ways, there's the people that defend a falsehood, people that also spread a falsehood and also give false proof. There's also where two sides are correct and there's no real wrong, it's something that has often been tied in religion and ideology.

If I see the logic of my incorrect ways then yes, it would be something that should be something to learn rather than to save face over. I'm rarely incorrect in what I know ;)


#22 Salogma

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:44 AM

Normally, when corrected I say, "Thank you!" and try to remember the correction.

Other times I say, "Shut your whore mouth."


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#23 Nanook

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 03:06 AM

I think some people get embarrassed if they've been insistent on a point and are then proven wrong. It's about salvaging one's own pride and ego.


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#24 Sally

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 03:16 AM

It depends on your tone of voice, and also how important the thing was that you were correcting. Were they angry, or just annoyed? If you were being annoying, it doesn't matter how right you are, people are likely to respond with annoyance.

 

If you were being tactful, and actually having an important debate or discussing important facts (rather than opinions, or totally unimportant facts), then people should be able to admit when they're wrong in a graceful manner .

 

Yes.  It's the difference between being "informed" and "corrected".  Most of us like to be informed; no one really likes to be corrected as though they are a child.   Tone is all-important.  If you find everyone's getting upset when you tell them they are wrong, it might not be them, but you.


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#25 Myles_From_Nowhere

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 07:35 AM

I feel bad for my friends when they correct me. I'm a man of ideas. I hate correct and final answers. I prefer to live in the abstract and the what if's? Whenever a friend "corrects" me, I just think, "Man, you're focusing so much on being right about the details, that you're missing the importance of the big picture, a big picture that can have a variety of answers, each differing based on ones perception." Basically, I get annoyed when people "correct" me, because they end up missing the point because they're focused on "what" I'm saying and not "why" I'm saying it.


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#26 1/100 of me

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Posted 13 October 2013 - 11:41 PM

There are a number of reasons why people wouldn't want to admit that they're wrong. Ego is the most obvious but sometimes I think it's because people are lazy. Reframing the way you think is a lot of work, after all. It's especially difficult if you're trying to overcome years and years of "programming." 


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#27 plaidflannel

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 10:23 PM

Pride. 

 

It also depends on how the correction is delivered. If you're saying it gently, rather than like "NO stupid that's not how it goes," then they should be open to it. Some people would rather be "right" than right. I appreciate correction as long as it's given in a helpful way.

 

My parents get really annoyed when I correct them, which is sort of funny but also irritating, because they've always corrected me very rudely and made me feel stupid about everything, so I feel like they deserve it. I try not to say things rudely, though, and I always explain where my knowledge is coming from. For some reason a few weeks ago I had to show my dad how to cut a steak, even though I know he taught me how to do it when I was little so he used to know how but somehow forgot? So I got to explain to him how to properly cut steak so you don't keep scraping the fork and making horrid noises, and explained that I saw it on a cooking show, but also asked him how the hell he forgot how to do it. It was strange. 



#28 runester

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 01:38 AM

If someone refuses to admit they have been proven wrong in the case of a fact, it's their ego or pride reacting. Those can be awful traits in some people. :wacko:



#29 caadam

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 03:01 AM

Egocentricity. We're all egocentric to some extent, whether we're fully aware of it or not. We have ideas about what we believe to be correct, and we enjoy being consistent in those ideas, even if they are false. It doesn't matter if they're faulty; what matters is whether they align with our beliefs and emotions or not. We all experience this at several points in life.

So when someone comes around and contradicts our ideas, it creates a lot of cognitive dissonance. The unconscious part of our brain, as a result, scrambles to protect us from this offense. We become defensive, angry, and resentful. We'll even make excuses, create strawman arguments about the other person, derail the conversation altogether, or flat out lie in order to remain consistent in what we so strongly believe. We try to protect our ego, because we're all first and foremost egocentric. It's just how our brains have evolved. The unconscious mind is much more in control of how we view ourselves, others, and the world than our conscious mind is.

However, one can train one's self to not let their unconscious brain ruin the educational experience completely. It takes time, but it's worth the effort. But for many people, it's hard to fight their emotions, and scientifically, they can't be totally blamed for that. It's just how the human mind works. Be patient, let the emotions settle, let the logical part of their brain work it out.

#30 Ravako

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Posted 29 October 2013 - 12:45 AM

If you're consistently being seen as off-putting in a conversation for correcting people, you are probably the actual problem in the situation. There are polite ways to correct someone and there are rude, know-it-all ways. I don't care how smart you are or how wrong the other person is, if you lack tact in these sort of situations you're almost always going to come off as in the wrong.

 

I used to be of the opinion of "if they're wrong, they should know they're wrong," but you know what? No. No, they really don't. Let the wrong be wrong. Would that be so bad? Besides, I grew out of it...eventually. But for a while I was an insufferable know-it-all. You know the type. Those who take a minor, unnecessary detail of something you said, and completely derail the entire discussion because of their compulsion to correct and fact-check everything said in a single sentence.

Before you correct someone, you should ask yourself these things:
Is this correction necessary? (is this an important thing they need to know?)
Is this correction relevant? (is this the topic of discussion and therefore will actually add to the conversation rather than completely derail it?)

Why does this need corrected? (if the answer to this is only "they're wrong" rather than any ACTUAL reason, I highly suggest aborting your efforts here)

And, in my opinion, this is the most important one: Are they talking to me? You have no idea how rude it is to have some eavesdropper suddenly jump into a conversation going "Well, actually X, Y, Z..." Hey, random stranger, if you're offended by how incorrect the statement someone who isn't talking to you is, you should probably not be listening in. This might be a little different if you know the people, but whatever. Best judgements and whatnot.

 

In other words, social interaction is a two-way street. If someone dislikes what you tell them, consider that perhaps you didn't handle the situation the best. Consider that perhaps what you said/corrected was unnecessary and mostly just annoying. Other times they'll just dislike being proven wrong. Whatever. Ignore those people.






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