Though I don't want sex I still have a high sex drive

[RedSpiderLily]

It's an annoying clash. I'm quite content taking care of my own problems when the problem arises but, it's quite frustrating because it's like my body wants one thing when my mind doesn't. Are any other people like this or, would you say having a low libido was a "symptom" (for lack of a better term) telling you that you are an asexual?

[shockkkk]

I have a relatively high libido as well, although it doesn't bother me in the least.

[WhenSummersGone]

Mine is high as well. Either that or I have Persistent genital arousal disorder, I can't tell. For me it doesn't make sense to have it when I'm asexual. I guess if I experienced sexual attraction I might have a sex addiction or something, so maybe it's a good balance.

[eched]

Sex drive and being asexual are not related. My sex drive has plans to take over the universe and rule it with an iron fist! I look up hentai, take care of business a lot, my writing is often sexual based(I mean sexual based in the same way Alien was. Sexual images done in dark, foreboding ways) ect.

I've also seen a couple of asexual people on here into BDSM.

[Sydney142]

I do, but I can turn it off.

[Vivi]

I just watch porn until i become digusted that usually how i deal with my sex drive

[TheBlackstoneOne]

I often wonder if one can really call it a sex drive if what one desires isn't sex.

I get arouse and masterbate as much of the next guy but none of that has anything to do with me wanting to have sex or even imagining myself having sex, so...

[DriftingOn]

It's an annoying clash. I'm quite content taking care of my own problems when the problem arises but, it's quite frustrating because it's like my body wants one thing when my mind doesn't. Are any other people like this or, would you say having a low libido was a "symptom" (for lack of a better term) telling you that you are an asexual?

Dear god, do I know how you feel. I can go weeks without any kind of physical arousal, and then there are times where I'll need to take care of things every other day. I'm always annoyed when it happens, and I generally want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Every time I can't help but think, "There goes time I'll never get back." To be honest, it seems to happen more often during periods of high stress, such as MIDTERMS, right when I could USE that time to get more studying done!

[WhenSummersGone]

I often wonder if one can really call it a sex drive if what one desires isn't sex.

I get arouse and masterbate as much of the next guy but none of that has anything to do with me wanting to have sex or even imagining myself having sex, so...

I agree. I think libido might be a better word rather than sex drive/sexual desire or whatever.

[olla]

I'm like that too. I kind of wish I didn't experience arousal (because it's never connected to thinking about actual sex and before I learned about asexuality it confused me a lot. It's still confusing) but it's good to know that I'm not the only one.

[NamTar]

Yeah, as others said, high or low libido has nothing to do with asexuality. Due to medications, my libido tends to disappear for long periods of time and then reappear suddenly. Before the meds I always had a high libido though. It's sometimes annoying but it really doesn't bother me very much.

[Honesty]

My sex drive is (probably) average, I'm pretty sure, but it does horrendously conflict with my mind. Long before I learned that asexuality existed, I've had a lot of confusion and pain feeling as though I was forced to do things I hated. I still feel this way, one day I'm going to have to resort to something to keep my sanity...

[Guest Lady.Lizard]

I know that feel, sometimes you get the feeling you want it, but then is you try reading fanfic or masturbating or however you deal with it, you become almost instantly disgusted and wonder what got into you...doesn't it drive you crazy? You don't actually want sex with anyone, its just there.

[dark_champion]

i have that too. i dont see anything wrong with it i mean its a natural thing.

but i cant watch porn it grosses me out!

i enjoy reading erotica though.

[LionRoar]

Yup. High libido (usually, but not always), but not desire for sex. In fact, I don't even desire to masturbate -- I hate it, and don't enjoy it; I just can't resist doing it.

[Jarle]

Yep, high libido, but no sexual attraction. I take care of it myself, but I wish I didn't feel the need to do so.

[vanizorc]

First off, THANK YOU for this thread!! I'm an asexual with an insatiable sex drive, and people find that very, very weird. But really, it's not very hard to comprehend when you think about it. All it means is that I masturbate all the time, while not wanting to "do it" with anyone else. I also have plenty of fetishes that make for great masturbation material -- I'm a voyeur and turned on by S&M. I'm much more perverted than all of the people I know, and yet I'm the only asexual one of the bunch, LOL. I make people go "WTF?" :)

[AV8R]

i feel my body's natural desire for it which i understand but will never accept. i read that chaste tree berry can reduce it. also soy can too if you consume enough of it in terms of your overall diet

[. . .but there are sounds]

I have a friend who tried chaste berry, also known as vitex, and it was really effective for him. It should be noted though, the most common modern use of vitex is helping menopausal women which would imply to me it is acting as or on estrogens and so might be dangerous for long term consumption.

[~Rikki~]

I used to have a super high libido. Now it's so low that I hardly have to masturbate (roughly once every week to two weeks). Back then I didn't want sex. Now there are times I would like sex, but I already know I dislike it.

[ScarletS]

Same here, it was hard to understand at first, 'cause I thought I couldn't be asexual and have a high libido, but as you can see, it's very possible. And thanks for this thread, it's interesting to hear what others have to say about this topic ^^

[randmzr198]

I also have a high libido but manage to control it. There's nothing to worry about as long as it doesn't severelly interfere with your daily life.

[GustheDuck]

Whenever I feel arousal I get really annoyed, sometimes depressed because I don't want to be aroused and it is more of an irritant than anything. My anti-depressants repress arousal though, I am a lot happier with less arousal. I don't want sex so I just want the arousal to go away.

[TheBlackstoneOne]

I think of it as an annoying but essential bodily function, like brushing my teeth. It takes a little time out of my day but it feels good after I do it and I stopping all together would be disastrous.

Believe me, I've tried and I only ever last two weeks at the most.

[R_1]

I hate my libido. Geez, I can't last 3 days without it being on. Also, the worse part is that it lasts for hours. :/

[nowhere_man]

Same here, it was hard to understand at first, 'cause I thought I couldn't be asexual and have a high libido, but as you can see, it's very possible. And thanks for this thread, it's interesting to hear what others have to say about this topic ^^

This is exactly how I felt when I first suspected that I was asexual. I couldn't see how it could be possible because of my libido. It was probably this kind of thread that helped me understand it.

[WhenSummersGone]

Arousal is definitely annoying. I haven't tried to abstain from masturbation but if I did I probably wouldn't last long. Even though I'm asexual I can kinda see how abstaining from sexual activity is hard for sexuals now.

[RunFromCacti]

Me too! I have periods where i suddenly have a high sex drive and take care of it myself. Then periods when i don't feel much. I also found i'll get intense feelings of arousal but it only lasts for a few minutes and suddenly i'm not interested, especially when my brain finds something more interesting. This silly body of mine puts me through such confusing situations...Does anyone else find that?

[coyote55]

I think of it as an annoying but essential bodily function, like brushing my teeth. It takes a little time out of my day but it feels good after I do it and I stopping all together would be disastrous.

Believe me, I've tried and I only ever last two weeks at the most.

Yes, this is the story for me as well. I don't have guilt over it, just get the job done and I feel better afterward.

[reverse]

Funny I just watched the asexual documentary on netflix and they talk about this. As far as asexuals go that is common so don't beat yourself up abou it.