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what are the signs of asexuality?


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#1 Laszlo

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 11:17 PM

Hi,

 

Are there signs one is asexual? Anything universal to them?

Me: 1. Male 2. Early 40s 3. Had sex first time - age 38

4. No sex - 5 years 5. Do not fantasize about sex 6. Do not dream about sex

7. Never married 8. Never in a relationship (never dated)

 

I'm curious if there is a pattern to an asexual life, late to date, marriage rates etc.

 

 



#2 The Great WTF

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 11:23 PM

Asexuality isn't a condition to be diagnosed or a disorder with symptoms, there are no "signs". A few trends, but nothing truly indicative of asexuality. The only thing we all have in common is a lack of sexual attraction/lack of desire for partnered sex. Some of us date young. Some never date. Some are sexually active for any number of reasons at any point in their life. Some are celibate. Some do not care. Some masutrbate. Some fantasize. Some have no libido to speak of. The experiences we have vary as much as any other sexuality, so there are no other universal traits.
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#3 ithaca

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 11:45 PM

Asexuality isn't a condition to be diagnosed or a disorder with symptoms, there are no "signs". A few trends, but nothing truly indicative of asexuality. The only thing we all have in common is a lack of sexual attraction/lack of desire for partnered sex. Some of us date young. Some never date. Some are sexually active for any number of reasons at any point in their life. Some are celibate. Some do not care. Some masutrbate. Some fantasize. Some have no libido to speak of. The experiences we have vary as much as any other sexuality, so there are no other universal traits.

 

No way :o

 

So what is this big purple A I have on my forehead since birth? Isn't that THE sign all asexual people share? :o


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#4 eched

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 11:46 PM

There are no common aspects other then we don't find people sexually attractive. That's about the only thing we all have in common.


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#5 The Great WTF

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 11:56 PM

You got a purple A, ith? I'm jealous. All I got was a penchant for black rings!
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#6 ithaca

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 12:01 AM

You got a purple A, ith? I'm jealous. All I got was a penchant for black rings!

 

Did you ask for a reduction on the price of your ring? You should be entitled to it, but then again, how are you going to prove you're asexual without the big purple A? :blink: This really caught me unprepared...


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#7 Batman's Ace

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 01:04 AM

Actually, there are signs of asexuality:

 

tumblr_lzszceMLKT1qfajwj.jpg
 

Pride_Parade_7_by_fallingsorrow.jpg

 

P1010298.JPG

 

tumblr_mazbe1ngxf1rqgjk5o1_500.jpg


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#8 Laszlo

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 09:48 PM

Some of your responses are sarcastic and ignorant.

Loss of or lack of sexual interest is not a sign of a disorder? And you know this because you are a doctor?

 

then explain this:

 

Sexual Aversion Disorder

"Sexual aversion disorder is characterized not only by a lack of desire, but also by fear, revulsion, disgust, or similar emotions when the person with the disorder engages in genital contact with a partner. The aversion may take a number of different forms; it may be related to specific aspects of sexual intercourse, such as the sight of the partner's genitals or the smell of his or her body secretions, but it may include kissing, hugging, and petting as well as intercourse itself. The symptoms of sexual aversion disorder can range from mild to severe. Mild symptoms include lack of interest and mild disgust. Severe symptoms can include panic attacks with all the symptoms of such an attack, including dizziness, shortness of breath, intense fear, and rapid heartbeat." 

 http://www.minddisor...disorder.html#b



#9 The Great WTF

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 10:00 PM

You did not ask if asexuality is a sign of a disorder, though I firmly believe it is not. You asked if there are any signs of the sexual orientation asexuality and we replied that there are not. A psychological condition such as SAD is a completely different can of worms and not the purpose of this forum.
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#10 Seraph's Embrace

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 10:04 PM

Some of your responses are sarcastic and ignorant.

Loss of or lack of sexual interest is not a sign of a disorder? And you know this because you are a doctor?

 

then explain this:

 

Sexual Aversion Disorder

"Sexual aversion disorder is characterized not only by a lack of desire, but also by fear, revulsion, disgust, or similar emotions when the person with the disorder engages in genital contact with a partner. The aversion may take a number of different forms; it may be related to specific aspects of sexual intercourse, such as the sight of the partner's genitals or the smell of his or her body secretions, but it may include kissing, hugging, and petting as well as intercourse itself. The symptoms of sexual aversion disorder can range from mild to severe. Mild symptoms include lack of interest and mild disgust. Severe symptoms can include panic attacks with all the symptoms of such an attack, including dizziness, shortness of breath, intense fear, and rapid heartbeat." 

 http://www.minddisor...disorder.html#b

 

Alternatively, you can simply not be bothered about sex one way or the other any more than you'd be bothered about tennis or reruns of CSI. If it's something that you feel is important to your identity and has changed dramatically, then you may choose to seek consultation if you believe it would benefit you, but that doesn't make it necessarily relevant to the people who would identify as asexual.

 

For a comparative example, having your hair suddenly start falling out could be a sign of a reasonably serious disease for some people. For other people (myself most likely included), you're just going bald - there is a big difference between a symptom that can be associated to a disorder and a disorder being the origin of all symptoms.

 

Also, what you're describing is an extremely specific set of characteristics that a vast range of asexuals simply do not experience - there are plenty of people around the forum with no particular disinclination towards sexual activity that simply do not feel any underlying attraction or need to engage in sexual activity. As such, I would be inclined to advice you towards reading across the forum more and asking a range of more productive questions before settling on any uninformed decisions of your own.

 

As an asides note, considering a lack of sexual attraction to be a disorder would fall into the same sort of categories as considering homosexuality or bisexuality to be a disorder, which I believe was prevalent among many doctors once before the world moved on and people grew (more) acceptant of the diversity of the human mind. There is a vast spectrum of difference between someone who desires sexual contract and is distressed by their repulsion and people that simply have no desire which to fill or to go unfulfilled.


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#11 qwair

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 10:07 PM

@Laszlo

You should look into what a mental disorder is in general, before getting into particulars. In short, for something to qualify as a mental disorder, it has to 'cause distress or disability', among other qualifications. If a person is happy with their lives and is a functioning member of society, then they have no disorder, regardless of what any diagnostic manual says. Someone else with the same symptoms might have a disorder, and might need a diagnosis, because they suffer from it or cause others in their environment to suffer from it.

 

You might also want to investigate the changes to the sexual disorders presented in the new DSM V.


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#12 ithaca

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 10:32 PM

You might also want to investigate the changes to the sexual disorders presented in the new DSM V.


Especially considering Sexual Aversion Disorder was removed from it due to rare use and lack of supporting research. ;)

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#13 Batman's Ace

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Posted 28 September 2013 - 03:36 AM

Some of your responses are sarcastic and ignorant.

Loss of or lack of sexual interest is not a sign of a disorder? And you know this because you are a doctor?

Gosh, I wasn't aware I had to be a doctor. I thought I could be okay with not wanting to fuck women, without diagnosing anything. I thought I could be okay with not wanting to fuck men, without diagnosing anything. Why would I assume I have to diagnose something just because both of those occur simultaneously? And for the record, my psychologist (y'know, one of those people who use the DSM) didn't think there was a problem, despite the fact that I'm severely repulsed. Haven't you heard the warnings? A cough could indicate a serious lung problem--or a tickle in the back of the throat.

 

All right, fine, don't get so snippy, I'll go through your list from the first post:

Asexual Members of AVEN:

1. Male, female, bigender, agender, and everything else possible, apparently

2. Puberty +

3. Had sex first time before 18, after 18, and never

4. No sex ever, no sex for a while, occasional sex, and frequent sex

5. Do fantasize about sex, and do not fantasize about sex

6. Do dream about sex, do not dream about sex, do have nightmares about sex, and do not have nightmares about sex

7. Never married, married formerly, and currently married

8. Never in a relationship, in a relationship formerly, and currently in a relationship

 

As you can see, we've got a lot of patterns going on here.


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#14 Satin

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Posted 28 September 2013 - 10:12 AM

Are there signs one is asexual? Anything universal to them?

They do not experience sexual attraction. Every other behaviour or whatever might correlate with asexuality but cannot be considered a sign, imho. You might as well ask what are the signs of one being homosexual or heterosexual and realise the only actual clue you have is at which sex/gender their sexual attraction is directed at. All other "signs" might only lead you to jump to false conclusions. Don't go there.


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#15 Laszlo

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Posted 04 October 2013 - 03:40 PM

from the responses it seems there is not much scientific literature on this

is there? I looked but could not find any.



#16 .Lia

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Posted 04 October 2013 - 04:01 PM

There have been a few studies done on asexuality. I know that our PT member dealing with research is LHT and they might be able to point you in the right direction of other studies :)

 

Editing: I found this link on AVEN's Tumblr (it's LHT's own site).


Edited by Lia , 04 October 2013 - 06:43 PM.

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