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Asexual Quiz/Survey


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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

Biromantic (Grey-Romantic) Asexual.

2. Are you out? To whom?

Only to people online, came out to my sister last year. Don't think she remembers it or believes me.

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

Realized I was an ace during an orientation voting poll opened on a site I frequent.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

LGBTQIA+

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

Told this story a few tims already. Not going to mention it again.

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

Not really, though some people did tell me I wasn't asexual. But I was repressing myself, had HSDD or was raped by an uncle.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

Don't have a favorite.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Yes, but I don't have an image of what It'd be like.

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

Lack of sexual attraction.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

Read number 6.

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

Almost everybody I came out to wasn't accepting of my orientation, so I don't have much to say. Though I still have a few family members to come out to in the future. Hopefully, it'll be okay.

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

N/A.

13. Your favorite asexual website.

AVEN.

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

Don't remember, met so many aces in the past year.

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

He may not be asexual, but L Lawliet. I've always seen him as an ace, though it never been mentioned or confirmed. His analyzing skills and passion for justice is fascinating. Watching the story progress with him was amazing, truly unforgettable.

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

Not sure.

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

Not much of a movie fan, I'll need some time to think about it.

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

Don't have any.

19. What do relationships mean to you?

A bond between two or more parties. Often, intimate in some way. Whether it's sexual, romantic or platonic intimacy doesn't matter. They're all relationships.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

I don't have many connections outside my family or kindred.

21. Your favorite asexual quote.

None.

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Genes or a biological response to the population. The wiring of the brain can have something to do with it also.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

None.

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

The misunderstanding and confusion people receive from the orientation. It makes it harder to find non-sexual romantic or platonic relationships, since most people desire something you don't. Making it hard to satisfy them.

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

"It doesn't exist because without attraction, there wouldn't be any reproduction. And our species wouldn't exist." and "All humans desire sex, sex is what makes us human. It's the separation between us and animals."

[Rant]

Last time I checked, the interest for children has less to do with orientation and more to do with a biological urge or desire. If you went out your way to look for examples of this for other orientations, you'll see many homosexuals, bi/pansexuals and asexuals have shown this type of interest. Not all children are created through an accident during moments of pleasure. We as humans, are intelligent beings. We have the ability to plan and recognize our wants and desires, working out certain processes to achieve our goals. Outside of humans, there are species that express non-heterosexual lifestyles and managed to survive. So why wouldn't we stay around?

And for the "sexual desires", humans are not the only beings to express pleasure from physical interactions. Animals such as bonobos and dolphins mate multiple times a day. Expressing both bisexual and homosexual behaviors. And no, sex isn't what separates humans and animals. Humans are animals themselves, regardless of opinion. "Animal: A living organism that feeds off organic matter, typically having specialized organs and nervous system and able to respond rapidly to stimuli." Sounds like a human to me.

[/Rant]

26. Who is your biggest ally?

Don't have one.

27. What is your favorite types of cake?

Chocolate and strawberry cake. Both taste pretty great.

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Peach pie.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

My sister mentioned it a few times.

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

Not sure what I want to say, I'll end it here.

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divided_sky

1. How do you define your asexuality?



Hetero-romantic works pretty well. I am only attracted/interested in women, but not in a sexual way. I am not repulsed though and would be open to exploring with the right person, but I'd have to really be close/interested in them. I like to be more tame and cuddle and hug and all that kind of good stuff. I like it a lot, actually.



2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?



I'm out to virtually anyone that isn't my family (except my sister). I will happily talk about it to just about anyone. I feel no need to tell my parents and get them worrying about some nonsense, and they don't need to know about my sex life anyway. I tell anyone else because I just like to be open about who I am. It hasn't caused me any problems, in fact, it has a been a benefit to me. I've found people have taken well to me opening up and them being better able to understand why I am the way I am. It explains a lot about behaviors (or lack thereof) that they otherwise had no explanation for. Coming out takes some effort to get people to understand exactly what I am talking about and getting them to take me seriously, but it isn't too hard.



3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?



My biggest fear is being unable to find a long term relationship. And even though, with the right person, I'd be open to exploring, I still feel that it'd be an issue with the fact that I still have no interest/passion for sexual things, and the older I get, the more inexperienced I am compared to my peers and people that I could potentially date. Hey, I'm 25 and a virgin... it can get a strange reaction. But really, I just don't want to have to deal with it, and I feel like even if I genuinely tried with a sexual, I would just get exhausted and fed up with it.



4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?



Stumbled upon the term when I was 18, and it fit me perfectly. I was never sure what the deal was before that. I knew that I liked women and wanted a relationship with one, but was really put off by sexual things and even though I hadn't done anything, I knew that I didn't want to and found sexuality completely strange.



5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?



Nope.



6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?



Love romance. I can be overly touchy-feely and I just love to feel emotionally close to someone. It's the best feeling ever. Touched on dating a sexual above - but basically, I'd be willing to give it a chance, if they were also willing to give me a chance, but I feel pessimistic about that working out.



7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?



No connection. I have some acquaintances that are gay and identify with it, and I will talk to them about asexuality, but I personally have no connection to that community.



8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?



I don't have any, really. Other than people not believing me or dismissing it, which is usually resolved by me continually talking about it and forcing them to accept it, haha.



9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?



I really haven't had any negative experiences with it. Everyone that I've told has been pretty cool with it. The best are when people don't understand it, but are interested in learning, and ask me questions and try to understand it as best they can. I like that.



10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?



A committed relationship is where I'd like to be, but I feel quite pessimistic about that happening. Haven't given up, far too young for that, but it feels like insurmountable odds at times. Combine that with other weird personality quirks and traits... it'd take quite the woman to deal with me. Oh but I dream of her... :)



11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?



I am. It means I have no issues with other people being sexual, I have no problems openly talking about it either. I am not repulsed, just indifferent, and as I said, would be willing to explore in the right relationship.



12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?



I don't think we really need any laws. Are we truly being discriminated against? I don't think so. Maybe some idiots here and there, but by and large, no. (but, that's my experience). I am all for visibility so others might know what it is and find an answer to their problem like I did when I was 18. The more people know about it, the better.



13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?



Nope.

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1. How do you define your asexuality?


Simply put, I have no desire for partnered sex. I am attracted to men on an aesthetic and sensual level, and I enjoy fantasizing about them, but sex with real people is just not an interest of mine.



2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?


No. I just don't see the point in declaring my asexuality to the people I know. The subject just doesn't come up. If it did, I would "come out," but until then I don't see the point in it.



3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?


No.



4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?


That was a surprisingly complicated process! I always assumed I was a run-of-the-mill heterosexual because of my high libido and my attraction to the opposite sex. It wasn't until I asked myself if I'd ever felt sexual attraction to any of the many crushes I'd had over the years (the answer was a resounding "no") that I realized I may actually fall under the asexual umbrella.



5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?


Hmmm...I can't really think of any.



6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?


I am kind of indifferent about it. If I were to enter into a relationship, I don't think I'd want it to be with a sexual guy. I just feel like that would be frustrating for both of us, and an unnecessary source of stress. I'm not sure if I could feel completely comfortable with a sexual guy, or reach the level of intimacy that I could with an asexual guy.



7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?


I'm not really sure. I don't have any direct experience with the LGBT community.



8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?


None come to mind.



9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?


The few times I've ever discussed asexuality have been positive/neutral. When I explained asexuality to my mom, she seemed to think it was pretty awesome.



10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?


Maybe? It's not something that's really very important to me. But I do think it'd be cool to find an asexual guy who I had a ton in common with, and then we could be like super best friends (a queerplatonic relationship?).



11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?


I am sex-positive in the sense that I am all for others having and enjoying sex, and doing so safely. I don't think sex is shameful or wrong. I just don't want to participate, thank you very much. :)



12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?


I'd like for asexuality to be more widely understood and accepted by the masses as a "real thing." We need more visibility, for sure.



13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?


Not that I can think of.


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Skipper Valvoline

1. How do you define your asexuality? I define it as my lack of sexual attraction towards others, as well as my repulsion towards real-life sexual activities (I know sex-repulsed isn't required to be asexual, but for me it's a part that helps me get a lock on things).

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you? I'm out to some close friends and family. I find it easier to discuss certain situations (especially since my mom still tries to hook me up with guys). I was nervous when I came out, but so far it's turned out to be needless worry.
3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person? I am aware that corrective rape would be an issue, so I avoid being obvious about it in public, unfamiliar places.
4. How did you figure out that you were asexual? DeviantArt had a GIF with all the pride flags, so I finally went to Wikipedia to research asexuality, and it described my life.
5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why? I don't, because it's hard to find any out there.
6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person? It would depend how interested the person is in sex. I'm heteroromantic, so I'm okay with the thought of being in a relationship, but I just can't include sex in the equation.
7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them? While I'll be the first to admit I have some gender ambiguities upstairs (some of my natural behaviors are more gentlemanly than ladylike) I feel fine as a gal and have no desire to change that.
8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality? The argument against labels (I find them very helpful) and "special snowflake" syndrome.
9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality? I haven't had too many problems either way. Everyone's just kinda like 'okay, cool'. Although, it was pretty awesome when I came out to my confirmation mentor, and after some research she realized that she was also ace :D
10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up? I can see myself married in the future, though I don't really want kids. I don't even want sex in the marriage.
11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? No. I'm indifferent to others doing the dirty, and I'm repulsed if it involves me.
12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc? Visibility-wise, it'd be great if everyone was as familiar with it as they were homosexuality.
13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after? Nah, this is a pretty good job.
(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?) Maybe later.

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Heteroromantic asexual.
2. Are you out? To whom? Close friends and family, and my Sunday school class.
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? I was 17, and I went to good ol' Wikipedia.
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? While I can relate to the queer community, I do not identify closely with it. See above for more details.
5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. It was my closest friend since 4th grade. She was staying over at my house, and I wanted to tell her, and God provided the perfect opening when she asked "so, how are things on the relationship front?" Cue stepping out of the closet.
6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal? Not really. My mom's still a bit wigged out, but she's hypersexual, so that's natural.
7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?) I keep thinking all my favorite characters are asexual until I'm proven otherwise. So, Dr. McCoy TOS, H.M. Murdock, etc.
8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like? Yes, because in a culture where people are measured by their sexual abilities and fruition, we're here to proudly shout "No!"
9. What does being asexual mean to you? It means I'm different, but in a good way, and I feel a sense of relief/freedom that I don't have to follow the normal life goals (like getting married/having kids).
10. What have other people said about your asexuality? I don't know. Some adults find it a bit weird, but they're still like 'well, okay.'
11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like. Again, my friend whom I first told. She had no idea what it was, but still went "Yaaay!" and hugged me :)
12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site. I'm not on Tumblr.
13. Your favorite asexual website. AVEN (how many more are there?)
14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online. My confirmation mentor. I told her about acehood, and then she realized she was ace. Online I've met 2-3 others through fanfiction websites.
15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person. Again, I keep thinking everyone's asexual until proven otherwise o.O
16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus). Well, my favorite book is Blindsight, and that doesn't focus on sex/romance or relationships, despite some sexual metaphors.
17. Your favorite "asexual" movie. Big Hero 6 certainly didn't have any romance :D
18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality. Not mine, but I saw it on FaceBook: "Hah, you think you've one but I have an ace up my sleeve!" -pulls up sleeve and a confused asexual rolls out, blinking in the sudden light.-
19. What do relationships mean to you? It means that a person is extra special to you and you want to spend more time (possibly romantic) being with them.
20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s). My best friend is an open, liberal, caring, sensitive person, with whom I laugh, cry, and hang out with :)
21. Your favorite asexual quote. Asexual spam: "How to get OUT of his bedroom and INTO his friendzone!"
22. What do you believe causes asexuality? Genetics, personality, maybe some experiences, ultimately I think God creates us according to His wishes.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image? The flag or the triangle. OOOH! Cake....
24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you. Anything "special snowflake".
25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality? Again: "special snowflake"
26. Who is your biggest ally? My friend whom I've mentioned a lot.
27. What is your favorite types of cake? Cheesecake, red velvet, pound cake, angel food cake....
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) Chicken pot pie. Pie for dinner, cake for dessert.
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? DeviantArt, which led me to Wikipedia.
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with. YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

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1. How do you define your asexuality?

My asexuality - Panromantic Asexuality - basically means that, while I wouldn't mind being in a romantic relationship with people regardless of gender, I don't feel sexual attraction towards any of said genders. Basically, as one of my friends worded it, "I want everything but I want nothing at all". =P

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

Coming out as asexual was interesting because I didn't think it would be a big deal at first, but the more I learned about asexuality, the more I realized that not only did it fit me to a tee, but it would also cause me tons of issues. I first came out to my friends, who were fine with it - most of them are in the LGBT anyway - but when I came out to my mom, she just... didn't believe me. Over time she did, though. Coming out has caused me some issues, though, some I'd rather not talk about.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

I've already lost a few friends due to asexuality, but I'm always nervous that I'll lose more. I also hope that future employers don't see my asexuality as a form of social anxiety and deny me a job because of it.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

A friend told me about asexuality, I looked into it, and, well, it clicked right away.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Sadly, I don't know of any asexuals aside from myself (aside from all of you, of course! Don't really know any of you though). I should look into that.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

Romance and sexuality are so different. I like romance being its own thing, but I don't like it when things get "sappy" - overly romantic to the point of groaning. As for dating outside of the asexual community, I don't think it's something I want to do, but all the same I encourage others who want to do it to go for it!

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

Assuming queer = LGBT+. Some of my friends are LGBT, most not really involved in the community outside of their own respective... part of the acronym. They're usually understanding, although only two or three of them really know anything asexuality.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

Anything regarding asexuals being "late bloomers", or anything like that. It's so annoying to me! More lightheartedly, when I hear people discussing cake, I always tend to think, "Wow, that's part of the ace community being talked about". Less of a pet peeve and more of a joke.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

A customer at my job was yelling at me for not being interested in sex (even knowing the term "asexuality" somehow, even though I never said it), and I decided "oh well I'm gonna talk about Kirby", and when I mentioned Kirby, a different, unrelated customer told me he loved Kirby and we talked for a good 10 - 20 minutes about it. It was amazing.

The worst, I'd rather not say. Maybe later down the line. It's... personal.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

...Maybe someday? I would like to be in one, but the asexuality kind of hurts it. From my experience, too many people want sex. I haven't given up on finding other ace people I might be interested in, but it's tough. I'm one who enjoys solitude, so reaching out to others for stuff like this is weird.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

I think sex is something I should have someday, just for testing - or science, as I call it - but I don't really want it. People can have it all they want, though.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

Visibility is progress. Progress is good, but also scary. I would love for sex to be toned down a bit in society, and then after that, asexuality start to make a breakthrough of sorts in terms of acceptance. Also, there are still a few states in which you can divorce for not being sexually satisfied. That needs to stop.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

No, you're good. This covers the basics, which is fine.

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I thought a quiz like this would be fun to fill out, so here goes ^w^

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1. How do you define your asexuality?
-No desire to have sex, with or without romantic attraction; as well as no sexual attraction to anyone

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?
-Not really, I’m new to applying the term to myself

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?
-not finding love in my life

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?
-friend told me about AVEN and I read up on it, and a lot of the definitions of asexual and the experiences that people have shared I found very identical to many of the feelings I’ve experienced in my own life

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?
-not really

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?
-I think I’m a very romantic person, I want to have a wife someday. Dating itself is not something I have much experience in so I don’t know

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?
-I am pretty connected I suppose, I have many gay/bi friends.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?
-not really a pet peeve, its uncomfortable for me when people talk about “what they find most sexy about girls” because I can’t ever answer truthfully or easily

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?
-haven’t had any

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?
-someday I’d love to be in a committed relationship, but I’m not in one right now.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?
-Honestly, I’m slightly curious to see why everyone’s obsessed with sex, but not enough to pursue it at all. (it seems messy X3)

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?
-uh….i don’t know

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?
-not sure, like I said, I’m still new to this community

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?
-hetero/demiromantic

2. Are you out? To whom?

-not really

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

-19, and it was because of AVEN

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

-I’m an ally of the queer community I’d say. I don’t really identify with any communities.

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

-N/A

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

-no

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

He’s not a Doctor, but Monkey D. Luffy would be my favorite asexual character.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

-People should have pride in whatever they believe in/identify themselves with. Not sure what it would be like though.

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

-Not having interest in sex, as well as not feeling sexual attraction to people in general

10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

-nothing yet

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

-Me: “I think I’m actually asexual.”

Other person: “Okay.”

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

-I hate Tumblr

13. Your favorite asexual website.

-AVEN

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

-I have a friend who’s asexual, we had a very long talk about each of our past experiences with romantic interests, never having sexual attractions like our peers, ect.

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

-Monkey D. Luffy

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

-Way, way too vague of a question to answer

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

- Way, way too vague of a question to answer

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

-uh…..an asexual woman and a sexual man enter a bar. After a few drinks, the man says “wanna go back to my place, or yours?” the woman says “both! You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.”

19. What do relationships mean to you?

-two people entrusting themselves to each other. Their happiness’s, their sadness’s, their dreams, their fears…and as a result, they support and forever help each other. That is what a relationship, and by extension love, should be.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

-All of my friends are very open-minded people and very kind, and very proud of who they are and I respect them for it.

21. Your favorite asexual quote.

-“Platonic love has always felt stronger than romantic love because that’s what constructs our core. You had no selfish reasons to put up with my fuck ups but you put up with them anyway because you loved me and I loved you back.” Mila Jaroniec

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

-What causes any sexual preference that people perceive as different? Who knows?

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

-http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/173/c/3/asexual_furry_pride_wallpaper_by_simontcat-d7nijju.png

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

-don’t have one

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

-still don’t have one

26. Who is your biggest ally?

-All of my friends, they like me for me ^w^

27. What is your favorite types of cake?

-Chocolate with raspberry filling

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

- Apple. If it’s not apple, get it outta here. Then bring it back, I’ll still eat it.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

-AVEN

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

-not in particular, this was a fun survey though.

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1. How do you define your asexuality?

I do not experience ANY sexual feelings or desires and consider myself free from sexuality. So there is no sexual attraction to others either.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

No necessity to come out, I am sort of "out by birth" - people automatically assume, probably due to my appearance, that I am not sexual. No problems at all.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

I fear men, their violent nature and their inclination to confront me with sexuality. Besides of course the ultimate horrors like molestation or even rape I mean their habit to barely conceal their lust. Stares, remarks etc are rarely aimed at me, I somewhat pass "below their radar", but the almost constant display of sexual greed or even activity is literally nauseating to me.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I come from a family where asexuality in females traditionally is considered the norm and utterly desirable, so there was nothing unexpected, only the degree of my aversion to sexuality is a bit uncommon (but not unheard of).

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Plenty of them among my female relatives.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

No way. I have been so lucky as to find my companion for life :wub: at an early age and we intend to stay together forever.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

No connections.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I never discuss (a)sexuality.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

I never discuss (a)sexuality.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

See 6.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

I am very (some say: extreme) sex-negative. Sexuality is for reproduction only, period.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

Nothing special, it is a private matter.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

I am a lesbian without sexuality.
2. Are you out? To whom?

See 2. above
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

See 4. above
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

I consider myself a lesbian, but I have or want no connection with any community.
5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

/
6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

Of course not. There is no duty to have sex. In most societies at least.
7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

/
8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

No
9. What does being asexual mean to you?

Not having to bother about anything connected with sexuality.
10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

My family has encouraged and sometimes admired it. My schoolmates accepted and sometimes envied me for it. My girlfriend has embraced it wholeheartedly. Others: Nothing. Is a non-topic.
11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

My girlfriend. :wub: Loves me with all my quirks including my strong aversion to sexuality. Helps me daily and supports my coping strategies. Has readily embraced a life in celibacy although she is originally not quite asexual herself. I love her very, very much, too...
12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

/
13. Your favorite asexual website.

/

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

/

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

/

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

/
17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

/
18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

/
19. What do relationships mean to you?

Everything. The relationship with my girlfriend is to us like a marriage, it dominates our lives. We have strong bonds with my family and relatives. And friendships are also very important.
20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

In addition to 11. : My companion in life and me are deeply in love and live together for a bit longer than a quarter of a century now. We do not intend to ever change that. She is physically handicapped but rather independent. In fact, she helps me more with my "handicap" than I help her. She is a work partner, too, and does all the office stuff my work entails.
21. Your favorite asexual quote.

/
22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Part inherited/genetical, part influences during personal development, including upbringing.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

/
24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

A relationship/marriage is not good without sex.
25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

/
26. Who is your biggest ally?

My girlfriend.
27. What is your favorite types of cake?

Chocolate. And cream. (Luckily I do not have to worry about calories ;) )
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Apple. Lots of raisins.
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

/
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

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IceHurricane

1. How do you define your asexuality?

I'm not sexually attracted to anybody.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

Yes and no. I never actually went to my parents or friends and went like "mom/dad/friend, I'm asexual." I only said something when they bring up sexuality/relationships. I also started posting more asexuality stuff on my facebook so It's not like I'm still 'in the closet'. It hasn't caused any problems really. Some people don't believe me, my parents still expect grandchildren, and my grandfather thinks I'm a lesbian, but other than that, things have been pretty good. It wasn't hard at all. Telling someone I'm asexual is as easy as telling someone my hair is brown.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

Nah

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

All my friends were talking about sex, and boys, and it never really crossed my mind much. I always wondered why everyone was so obsessed with sex. Also, I didn't like being in relationships, but that's more because I'm aromantic, not asexual.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Nah

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I have a love/hate relationship with romance. I'm aromantic, so I don't want any romance involving myself, and I would never date anyone,but I do watch/read romantic things every once in a while. I don't like romance in media (movies, shows, books etc.) where romance is not the main genre. So for example, if I'm watching an action movie, and there's romance in the end, I cringe. If I wanted romance, I'd watch a romance movie, but since this isn't a romance movie, I don't want to see it.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I don't really feel that connected, but at the same time, we do get treated the same because we're not like the 'normal person' (heterosexual), so I guess we have each other's backs and can relate to each other in some way.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I don't think I have any.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

I've never been told this personally, but reading comments online about how it's just this new fad people are doing, or just simply not believing it exists. Best experiences would have to be with anyone who just accepts it and didn't say anything negative.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

No. No. No. It's not really giving up if I didn't want it to begin with.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

I'm in between sex neutral and sex positive. Sex doesn't really bother me, but I sometimes get this negative feeling about it which I can't describe very well. I used to be very sex negative so I'd say this is a big improvement.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

I just want asexuals to be accepted. I want it to be taught in school and for people to have a good knowledge of it. I don't want it to be such a big deal to everyone.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after? (Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

Nah

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

Aromantic Asexual

How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

I was around 12/13 when I sort of figured I wasn't into the whole sex/relationship thing like all my friends were. 13-14 I knew I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone and I didn't want a relationship, but I never learned about asexuality until about 15-16.

Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

I don't remember.

Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

No, not really. Sometimes people don't believe me, but that's about it.

Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

Don't have one

Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Doesn't really matter to me. I assume it'd be like any other pride thing except with the asexual colours and maybe less people because there's less asexuals than homosexual or other 'big/main' sexualities and it's not as well known.

What does being asexual mean to you?

It means that I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. I don't fantasize about sleeping with people. I'd never say 'I'd tap that!' to anyone (unless I'm joking).

What have other people said about your asexuality?

It varies from "That's not possible" to "Oh that's cool!" or "interesting" or "I bet you'll change your mind if you're with me ;)"

Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

I follow a bunch, but I don't really have a favourite. I do really like asexual-supernatural because I love Supernatural and reading ace fics and they post all that so yeah its great.

Your favorite asexual website.

AVEN

Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

Just talking to people on AVEN who share my interests. Nothing really exciting about it. I don't know any asexuals in real life.

What do relationships mean to you?

I think relationships are great for people who want a relationship, which I don't, so other than that I'm pretty indifferent about it.

Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

I had a boyfriend in like grade 4 that lasted a couple weeks (my first kiss! awwww!!). I think I had an online boyfriend for a couple months but eventually all he wanted to do is sext/role play and I didn't like any of that. I dated my best friend for about a year before she moved. I never actually liked any of these people sexually or romantically, but I pretended, and did stuff to make them happy. My best friends are awesome.

What do you believe causes asexuality?

I don't think anything 'causes' asexuality. I think there's lots of factors that might have a part of it, but I don't believe there's anything that really causes it.

Who is your biggest ally?

My best friend.

What is your favorite types of cake?

Cheesecake and chocolate cake

What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Don't have a favourite

Where did you first learn about asexuality?

I don't remember

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  • 4 weeks later...
FluffDuckling

1. How do you define your asexuality?

I don’t ever imagine myself with someone sexually, but I certainly can’t imagine being alone. I do still want a partner.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

I’m not, but I’ve been contemplating talking to my cousin about it since we’re very close. She’s very accepting to these kinds of things and has many LGBT+ friends, I just feel as if it’s so trivial that I shouldn’t have to worry about telling someone. I’ve had problems in the past with trusting family to keep secrets because I learned I live in a very blabby family.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

Well, I live in the South. Even if I don’t come out and say that I would prefer a female partner, and just mention the whole no sex thing, that’s gonna get me some real flak from a few old-thinking family members.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I heard about the term asexual being referenced towards humans within a list of other sexualities online and looked it up. I was about eighteen at the time and fresh out of high school. I never went through the whole sex-crazed teen phase and thought maybe I’ll go through it later, until I heard about asexuality and it felt right.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

No.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I’ve been called prudish, but I would love to have someone that I could fall asleep next to every night and be excited to wake up with. I know I want a family in the future with kids, but for now, I’m fine with being solo.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I’ve not really interacted with the community. I’ve had gay/lesbian friends in high school, but that was my extent of interactions with the “community.” I tend to keep to myself.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I don’t personally talk about it (like ever), but I’ve heard others complaining about it not being recognized or dismissed as “attention-seeking.” Attention is the last thing I want out of this, but recognition would be nice. I recently watched a Fox segment talking about asexuality and it really irked me. They called asexuals lepers and it just baffled me how utterly stupid and insensitive people can be.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

I’ve not ever really talked about it with anyone, except for off-hand comments about head-canons for characters. I’ve had to do the whole vocabulary spiel, but that’s about it.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

Currently, I’m single, but down the line, in a few years, once I get past my lingering shyness, I definitely can see myself with someone. I want a family and children and I don’t think that I don’t have a chance.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

Recently I’ve had a few “wet dreams” and I’ve woken up feeling repulsed with myself. Other than those handful of unpleasant dreams, I kind of avert myself from anything that has explicit sexual content, unless I’m reading. Movies or television that has sexual content put me off and I often comment on how the story would have worked just as well without the added relationship. The one thing I will never do, though, is shame. I’ll complain till I’m blue about fictional worlds, but I couldn’t give two hoots about the couple down the street or passersby in a store.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

I can’t think of anything on the top of my head, but being recognized as a legitimate sexuality.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?
Asexual romantic

2. Are you out? To whom?
No one, but maybe my cousin soon.

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?
I learned about asexuality in 2013 when I was 18, and let the word and information float around for about a year before I decided that it was what described me best.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

I’m not really bothered enough to actively seek acceptance in any community, I just do me and do that until I’m happy. I’m very shy and prefer to be alone.

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.
Info coming soon!

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?
N/A

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)
Number Four forever! I even crocheted a replica scarf that goes on for miles. I’ve been thinking of making more to sell.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?
Some people need recognition from others to feel better about themselves. There should totally be some pride. The only thing I can imagine is a bunch of people in groups playing board games.

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

It means that I may not be like my brother or my mother, but that’s okay. I like being me even if I find it hard to sometimes.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality?
N/A

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk
about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.
Fantasy Scenario: I tell my cousin through text since she lives a bit far away. She replies with “cool lol :D” then I go back to procrastinating homework.

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.
AsexuallAlligator

13. Your favorite asexual website.
(biased as it’s the only one I’ve been on but) AVEN

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.
N/A

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.
N/A

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).
Harry Potter all the way.

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.
Jurassic Park series. Most definitely. Though, I have a feeling there’s going to be a dumb romance in the new one.

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.
What is humor?

19. What do relationships mean to you?
People who care about you no matter what you are and can have hours long comfortable silence with. That you don’t mind that I bumble and mumble and am almost eternally awkward, but can be loud and obnoxious when I’m comfortable.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).
I haven’t talked to anyone outside of family in nearly four months and then it was just at school for about two hours at a time. Back in high school, I was in the nerd clique for both school and video games, etc. We were a mash of weaboos and band geeks and book worms and it was nice.

21. Your favorite asexual quote.

N/A

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

That’s a tough one. I know a lot of people say that they are born the way they were, but I don’t believe that sexuality is something that you can be born with. We all were born the same way, but we all have different stories to tell.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

N/A

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

I fear that if I come out, I’ll be laughed at by my family. From past experience trying to talk about something out of the norm, I’ve only gotten uncomfortable replies.

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

N/A

26. Who is your biggest ally?

My cousin and my brother (when they learn)

27. What is your favorite types of cake?
Lemon custard

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)
Chocolate tofu pie. It’s just like pudding. Mm-mm-good

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

Online

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

Being asexual is not weird. It’s different, but that’s not bad. Don’t worry about defining yourself with just one thing. You are made up of a hundred million other things.

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1. How do you define your asexuality? I have no interest in sex or romance.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you? Basically? People who I am close enough to that I feel they have any real right to know anything personal about me generally know, but I tend to be a fairly private person and not volunteer any sort of personal information about myself unless it is directly related to a conversation, so there are probably many people I know who don't know. I have never had any sort of surprise as a reaction; I suppose my obvious distaste for romantic arcs in stories combined with my simply never having shown any interest in anyone for my whole life makes it reasonably obvious. My grandparents are the only people I'm close to who I haven't ever discussed it with, because I'm not sure how they'd react, and I don't feel the need to bring it up.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person? No. I mean, I have fears, but none that I think are specific to that.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual? I was never attracted to anybody, never interested in sex or romance or that sort of thing, and eventually figured that at my age it wasn't likely to change (and was somewhat relieved by that, really). I didn't have an exact term for it before my younger brother mentioned it in relation to himself, and then after reading the definition, I realised that fit me.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why? No? I'm not sure I have any role models, honestly. There are people I respect, surely, but not those I actively model myself after.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person? I feel that it sounds really rather boring and like I'd rather have friends, because friends should do all the things I'd actually like to do with anybody (I.E., mostly hang out and play games and stuff). I would consider dating somebody else who was asexual, I guess, if they were cool with my likely deciding in the end that it wasn't for me, but I'd never consider dating somebody who wasn't asexual. What they would want from a relationship would be nothing like what I would want from it. No point. (Actually, 'no point' sums up my general feelings on the whole romance thing in general.)

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them? Reasonably connected, but that's because one of my moms is trans and has done a lot of work with the LGBT community in my area. I grew up going to pride parades and conferences and stuff with her sometimes, and I always felt at least as welcome and safe and all as I do in any large group of people.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality? "You'll grow out of it" or such. I mean, that can happen for some people, and it's somewhat valid if the person in question is very young, but it's not something anybody ever considers applying to anybody who's sure they're heterosexual no matter their age. Same goes for "how do you know if you haven't tried having sex?".

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality? Overhearing some people talking about how they think that people who've never kissed somebody by the time they're eighteen are weird. So, nothing too bad, really.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up? No, no, no, and not applicable.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? Sure, I guess. People can do whatever the heck they want so long as it's not hurting others, if you ask me. In this particular instance, I'd amend that to "so long as they're not hurting others and not increasing the population all willy-nilly with kids they're then not going to bother taking care of". On the other hand, I kind of feel that culture has already swung around to a point of almost obsessive sex-positivity? But then, that's based on things like TV ads and movies and such, not things like what's taught in schools and all, which I never see or hear much of. Basically, what it means to me is respecting other people's right to do whatever they enjoy so long as it's not causing harm, and that seems like a pretty obvious right to respect.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc? Um, I don't know, really. There aren't any particular laws I can think of that I feel are disadvantaging me. Probably because I'm also aromantic; I expect there are some out there that would be. As far as visibility goes, just a general acceptance that whatever your sexuality or lack thereof happens to be is all good would be great. Y'know, just treat people as people no matter what, not worry too much about what they do or don't enjoy doing.

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Aromantic, asexual.

2. Are you out? To whom? See above? Mostly sort of... which is to say, I rarely volunteer any information about myself in person, and that is included. I certainly make no effort to hide it.

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? It's more like how old was I when I realised that most everybody else was sexual, which was somewhere around sixteen. Took me until twenty-two to both figure out that the term asexual existed and that I fit it.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? I'm not usually much for identifying with communities. I mean, I feel that I somewhat belong to some of them, but I don't necessarily identify with them. People are all very different. It does seem like it'd be part of queer, somehow, I guess.

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. To condense, my brother mentioned something about it after a conversation about our characters in various RPGs, and then I essentially said "oh hey, me too, I guess" next time it came up. Rather dull. It's mostly been that kind of thing.

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal? No, but I tend to exist on the fringes of society anyhow, skulking around in darkened theatres and otherwise working from my home. (Yeah, okay, that just sounds more dramatic). I was also homeschooled, so the only real opportunity I had for such things was in college, and I was too busy not talking to people there to have a problem with it.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?) Don't watch Doctor Who, so... uh... Sherlock Holmes, I suppose. I'm drawing a bit of a blank on which characters are probably actually asexual and which I just assume are given a lack of evidence otherwise (which I tend to do, since it seems that people are hellbent on providing copious amounts of evidence of the sexual orientation of any given character, so a lack of any evidence is almost evidence in and of itself).

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like? Meh, lack of shame, definitely. Active pride? I'm not sure it's needed. I don't know. I don't feel like I'm the person to ask. I don't tend to feel public shame or peer pressure or that kind of thing even if it exists. I generally don't notice it unless it is blatant discrimination.

9. What does being asexual mean to you? That I'm not interested in sex or romance, so I don't have to worry about all that stuff that all my friends seem to be worrying about all the time, and I can just do my own thing and be happy.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality? Heck if I know. If they've said anything, they've not told me.

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like. Nobody's had a problem yet. However, for me, there are basically two categories of people: those who I am close enough to that I share things I consider personal, and those that I do not. Most people fall into the second category. Most of the people who fall in the first category know me well enough to not be at all surprised.

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site. I don't do Tumblr. It's all... jumbly and unending and not something I'm interested in.

13. Your favorite asexual website. This one.

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online. I wouldn't usually know. I'm not in the habit of asking other people about their sexuality.

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person. Err, gee, I don't know anything much about celebrities, and I already used the only character that came to mind, so... I guess I'll go with my brother, because he is cool, and it's a lot less egotistical than picking myself.

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus). The Lord of the Rings or The Silmarillion. Depends on the day.

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie. All the President's Men.

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality. I got nothin'.

19. What do relationships mean to you? Friendships, family relationships, those are very important to me. Especially family. Few things are more important to me than my family.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s). My best friends are cool people. They probably do not meet other people's definition of 'best friends' because I don't hang out with people at all very much. They do fun stuff.

21. Your favorite asexual quote. Eh, got nothing.

22. What do you believe causes asexuality? No clue. People are different. Some people happen to be asexual. I happen to be one of them. I don't really care what causes it. Might be interesting to know, though.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image? Eh, don't know.

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you. It upsets me if people don't believe somebody that they are asexual, I guess. That's all I can think of.

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality? I haven't heard any good ones. "Not natural" is always rather poor, but I guess "but how can you be happy" is probably the most mystifying to me.

26. Who is your biggest ally? My brother and my parents generally are, I guess.

27. What is your favorite types of cake? Icebox cake. Or cheesecake, if you count that. I really like cheesecake.

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) I like a lot of pies. Apple pie, key lime pie, and chocolate cream pies have to be towards the top of the list, but pecan pie is really good, and so are a lot of others... I generally like pie more than cake, actually.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? AVEN turned up in a search, so there.

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with. Can't think of anything much.

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stonehengegirl

1. How do you define your asexuality? I am not sexually attracted to any one, except in extremely rare circumstances.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you? Yes and no. I have told two friends and it went well but I knew it would because my friends are open minded and accepting people. I was still very nervous to tell them. I don't intend to tell my parents. It would just be too confusing for them.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person? The only fear is that I will grow old alone because I won't find a significant other in my life.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual? I knew I wasn't like most people and after some research and soul searching I realized I was asexual.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why? Not really, I had a great aunt who never married and was a quirky lady who lived life on her own terms. I don;t know if she was asexual though.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person? I had a romantic relationship once. It didn't work out well but I didn't understand I was asexual then and there were other issues. I like holding hands and kissing and cuddling. I loved mushy greeting cards and love songs when I was in love. I think if I found someone to be with now, I would be in a better place to communicate what I need in a relationship and work with my partner's needs whether it is with another asexual or a sexual who is open to being with an asexual.


7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them? I have gay friends and I support the queer community's issues and concerns but I don't particularly feel connected to the community.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality? That it doesn't exist as an identity.


9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality? So far I've had mostly positive experiences but this is still pretty new to me.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up? I would certainly like to be. No, I haven't given up.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? Yes, definitely. Sex should not be something that people should be ashamed of if it's what they want. I'm thinking of restrictions made by religions here.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc? That its existence is recognized and represented accurately in entertainment and media.

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Gray Asexual.


2. Are you out? To whom? See above

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? My mid 40's.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? I'm not really a joiner or part of any community.

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. TI was walking with my friend after work and told her. She was fine with it.

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal? No.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?) 11. I like quirky and Matt Smith did that best.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like? Sure, why not. I imagine a while bunch of people walking around with ace rings so we can all recognize each other. We need a secret hand shake or head nod.


9. What does being asexual mean to you? It's who I am and allows me to connect with other people who are also asexual.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality? I have no idea.


11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like. Both have been accepting.

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site. I don't do Tumblr.

13. Your favorite asexual website. AVEN

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online. I've only meet people online here. It's been good.

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person. I don't have one.

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus). Revelation by Carol Berg

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie. Little Miss Sunshine

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality. Asexual pirates aren't interested in your booty.

19. What do relationships mean to you? Acceptance and caring that goes beyond the superficial societal norm.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s). They are quirky, nonjudgmental, funny, creative.

21. Your favorite asexual quote. I don;t have one.


22. What do you believe causes asexuality? I think there's something genetic about it.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image? Ace ring.

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you. I can't really think of anything right now.

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality? That it doesn't exist.

26. Who is your biggest ally? Myself

27. What is your favorite types of cake? Red Velvet

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) I like Boston Cream Pie which is basically cake.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? AVEN

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with. Asexuals are cool.

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YellowElephant

1. How do you define your asexuality?

Even if I see or can think of an attractive person, I do not desire to have sexual relations with them ever.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

I'm not really. I had a dumb secret "relationship" with a guy and told him via Facebook messager. He didn't say anything, but my mom saw the message and picked up the term asexuality. She knows I think I'm ace and mentions it sometimes, but she thinks it's something a person should choose to be until marriage.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

I'm almost constantly afraid that someone will misinterpret my words/actions as sexual (or romantic, as I'm aro too). I also worry that I'll not pick up on flirting cues and end up hurting somebody's feelings somehow. Finally, I fear getting caught up in a [sexual] relationship that I don't want.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I googled: "why don't I like boys," "no crush," "I don't want sex," etc., repeatedly until AVEN's site came up.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Not specifically, but really any influential woman who never married/had children (especially these ones: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/332697)if only for proving that these aren't necessary to lead a successful life.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I am not a fan of romance, I do not experience romantic attraction, and I don't see the point of dating for myself without the intention of getting married which I don't want to do. It's fine for other people, and I think even a mixed-sexuality couple could work it out themselves, but I'd take non-exclusive, platonic friendships over romantic relationships any day.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I don't feel connected to the queer community at all, besides that we both say we're not quite perfectly straight. In fact, (and please don't kill me for saying so) I don't affiliate myself with the community as I firmly believe that acting on any sort of homosexual desires is sin, as sexual relations outside of a biblical marriage defy God's command to not commit adultery, and the Bible defines a godly marriage as between a man and a woman only. Yet I know that sin doesn't define a person and make them terrible; we all do wrong, so it's not my place to judge but rather to love and just not participate in activities I view as wrong. I actually have several very good friends who identify with the non-asexual queer community. We don't ever talk about sex though because that's not a subject I've ever talked about much, so nobody brings it up to me.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

Anything that has to do with sex at all as I'm sex-repulsed, or assuming that everybody desires it somehow.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences youve had with peoples opinions of asexuality? Like I said, my mom thinks it's only a choice to abstain until marriage, and once I overheard a group of people talking about some girl at school who "claimed to be asexual" and they were like "wow, she must have some willpower. How can a person stop themselves from even WANTING sex? That's crazy. I couldn't do it."

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up? No, no, no, and no, I can't give up on a goal I've never had.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? No. I am not sex-positive, I am positive I do not want sex.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc? I'd love for sexuality or lack thereof to be of no concern in society; people are people. Until then, it'd be nice if asexuality was seen just as valid as any other orientation, if asexual people weren't confused with plants or snails, and if the word "asexuality" never autocorrected to "a sexuality."

13. Anything you want to add? No.

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Aromantic asexual, Possibly Demi-sensual (if that's even a thing, I like to think so).

2. Are you out? To whom? Not really. As I said some ex-almostboyfriend

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? 10th grade, so 15. I really liked some kid, but I didn't want sex like all of my peers seemed to, and I didn't even really want to date him or anything. I just thought he was an awesome person and wished he'd talk to me more.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? No. Asexual community, I guess?

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. Dumb, obsessive "relationship" where we basically only talked via social media and when we occasionally played tennis or saw each other at school events, he convinced me not to tell my parents or friends or anybody that we were "dating" yet. He's all young love, cheesy romantic, early marriage oriented; I'm like "I'm asexual" and he's like "that's okay we can still get married, I'll still love yuo."

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

Not really. Only the strong assumption that I want sex, which I don't.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

No

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Yes and no. Asexual people should be proud to be who they are, but I really don't like bringing of sex or lack thereof when I'm not on AVEN or another asexuality site. Part of me pictures huge masses of people shouting "I don't experience sexual attraction" and waving grey and purple flags, while the other part of me imagine conversations that go like "ooh, don't you think he's hot? I'd say yes to that any day" "no, he has nice, well-toned muscles that look good on him, but I'm not attracted to anyone that way." "Really?" "Yeah, I'm actually asexual." "Oh that's cool, tell me more."

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

I don't have to worry about gaining the sexual attentions of others to fulfill my desires because I don't desire that with anybody.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality? Mom: that's good to save yourself until marriage. Ex-something: I love yuo no matter what

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

Me: "I'm asexual."

Them: "What's that mean?"

Me: *finds AVEN and places phone in their hand*

Me: read up.

12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

No tumblr for me sorry

13. Your favorite asexual website.

AVEN asexuality.org

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

I haven't yet :(

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

Don't really know of any.

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

Harry Potter! *of course maybe I just think it's not the main focus? Idk

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

Sound of music! ... Never mind, they get married. Les Miserables minus Marius and Cosette? Are there any, really? I like Disney's Brave, at least she gets to marry on her own terms/ maybe not.

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

19. What do relationships mean to you?

Devoting your time to a person you love in some way and who loves you the same. Definitely not necessary to be happy in life, and also come in different types between different people. Platonic, romantic, sexual.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

I have many who I would call my best friends, and many more friends besides. I'm not huge into committing/limiting myself to one person only, so even my best friendships aren't super deep, but we have fun, and help each other out, and laugh at stupid inside jokes probably too often.

21. Your favorite asexual quote.

"I prefer cake."

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Combination of conditions of childhood/personal experiences, and just general personality.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

All of 'em.

24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

The belief that people claiming to be asexual are just repressed, are vying for attention, and need to be fixed (especially when the "fixing" involves experiencing sex)

25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

"But I, like, need sex to function so someone who 'doesn't want sex' is clearly lying."

26. Who is your biggest ally?

Either my self-identified queer friend who I actually share my anxiety/depression-related problems with and could come out to whenever I felt like, or my recent prom "date"/ best friend who is also not interested in dating yet who does not identify with asexuality.

27. What is your favorite types of cake?

Carrot cake, raspberry-lemonade poke cake, any other cake; all gluten-free though

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Pumpkin or banana cream, depends on the season

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? AVEN's website after frantically googling my feelings for a couple hours

30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

I wish asexuality was a universally understood concept, so I could just say the word if someone questioned me and then just get on with my life.

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English is not my native language, so there would be mistakes.

1. How do you define your asexuality? I don't experience sexual attraction to people.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you? My best friend knows (at first she sought I was celibate) and very supportive. My mother thinks I didn't meet the right guy (I'm 29 and never been in a relationship). But a few times I mentioned it to strangers... and it didn't go so well. I also joined few asexual groups on vkontakte (it's like russian facebook) so I'm out.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual? I gess I always knew just didn't have a word for it.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why? No

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person? I like romance and I don't mind dating sexual person (if this person understands what asexuality means and ready to compromise).

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them? I been thinking about this lately. I want to try make friends with local LGBT people.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

"you should try..."

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Worst is when people think asexuality is illness. When men you regect because you not intrested in sex say bad things to you.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

I want a relationship, I tried dating (only sexual people, becausу I don't know any asexual person in my city) it never was more then 1-2 dates. But I'm not giving up.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? ?

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

In Russia there's no sex ed classes and they should be. And I want this classes explain asexuality.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?) I want to know difference in experiences of people from different countries.

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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

Asexual heteroromantic. I do have a sex drive it just not directed at anyone. I never experienced sexual attraction towards anyone. I might be demisexual.
2. Are you out? To whom?

My close friends.
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

13 I think... when my best friend started dating her first boyfriend. I saw her kissing that boy and it was just.... "why whould she do that"
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

I don't know anyone queer, but I want to... and then I will decide.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Pride in Russia ))) our officials don't like crowds on streets... LGBT people here have meetings... and asexual people should too...

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

I think asexual people build stronger relationships because they don't get misled by their sexual attraction. It also often means being lonely because it so much harder to find partner. Small dating pool.
10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

A lot of things... a lot of bad things...

19. What do relationships mean to you?

Partnership, trust, honesty, understanding.
22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

I only know that I was always asexual, I don't know why.
24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

"asexuality means you don't have a sex drive, that something wrong with you physically, and you incapable of having sex or experience arousal"
25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

that asexuality doesn't exist, we all just lonely insecure people who can't find anyone and made the term as an excuse
27. What is your favorite types of cake?

chocolate
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

blueberry
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

Somewhere on internet when I search info about people who don't have sex.
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

I want people to know what it means. I'm so so SO tired of explaining it. I don't want to feel so isolated, I want asexuals get together and talk about our experiences. I want option "asexual" on dating sites. And I want google translate asexual as "aseksualnyj", not "bespolyj" in russian... it means sexless/epicene.

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1. How do you define your asexuality? i have never experienced sexual attraction though i do have fantasies. i also have no urges despite this.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you? i am both out, and not out. i'm not out because i have told only one person. However i am out because it's not really a secret. i just don't bother with telling people because sexuality is not an important factor in my relationships.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person? getting into a relationship, loving that person, but being dumped because of my refusal to have sex.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual? Research. i like to search around to see if my religion or sexual preferences match with anything. i found out about asexuality on the internet and it matched.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why? no.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person? i would prefer not to date a sexual person, because i detest the thought of me having sex. however if i fell in love i would do it. and i desire romance but have yet to experience it.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?​ i feel no connection with the queer community. perhaps this is because my experiences with them have not been positive. my local community seem to be determined to get noticed. i don't mind that their trying to raise awareness or whatever, thats their right, i just mind because they keep shoving it in my face.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality? i rarely discuss sexuality. however when i do it upsets me when people believe that everyone hates them because of their sexuality. i am not denying that hate happens, i know it does. it's just that those i have met, aren't hated because of their sexuality but because their jerks.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality? i have only come out and talked about it to one person, my dad. and he said "I am fine with it. i actually prefer it. now i don't have to worry about chasing off future boyfriends." it was kind of nice,

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up? I have given up. i just don't believe it will happen to me.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you? i don't really know what that means. thought to be honest the idea of me having sex is disgusting, it's messy and gross and painful. also it sort of scares me. just thinking of all the ramifications of sex, such as pain, stds, etc, just makes it horrifying to imagine myself in such a situation.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc? I'd like for people to be more aware of asexuals. i don't really understand why people are upset by it. but here's a question, what laws could we need? gay marriage laws are already passing so do we need any?

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

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1. How do you define your asexuality?

I don't give a heck about anyone sexually. I don't have any desire for partnered sexual activity. I've never wanted to bang anybody.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

Yes, yes, mostly sucked lol

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

I fear that society will never understand what asexuality is. And then there's the concern about being pressured into sexual activities but pffft even if I wasn't asexual I would feel that way.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I honestly believe I was too young to really determine such a thing when I did, but I guess I took a made guess when I discovered what asexuality was from deviantArt and nothing seems to have changed sexual-feelings wise.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Not that I know of.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I'm really not the romantic type, but I do have a boyfriend, and he's (allo)sexual. We have a sort of open/poly relationship thing going on, so if he ever wants to bone anyone he's free to. He's never pressured me and he accepts me for who I am and all that mushy stuff.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I prefer to call it the "LGBT+" community to avoid stepping on any toes, but my experience has been a very mixed bag. I've been in some pretty dangerous situations having really gotten out there and been a part of any community of the sort. And ignorance. Lots of ignorance for all around. Tbh I don't regret ever getting involved with a sort of LGBT+ community as some good came from it, but I figure it's not an experience I ever need to go back to.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

Oh there's a lot lmao

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Acceptance from those I love was the best, fetishizing from a certain undesirable party was the worst.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

I am in a committed relationship. Have been for almost a year now.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

Guess that depends on what you mean. I don't find sex inherently bad or evil, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it gross and that I am very uncomfortable with certain fetishes. I don't think I can rightly call myself "sex positive", and I honestly don't feel the need to, but hey, I won't try to take your nonabusive, consentual sex away from you.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

*weak noncommittal hand gesture*

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

I never found the cake thing that funny, but every community's gotta have some in joke, right?

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(gonna do the second one too because hey hey)

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

Asexual, maybe panromantic but tbh that matters very little to me.
2. Are you out? To whom?

Basically everyone I've met and formed any bond with.
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

I was 12 lmao. I discovered asexuality from deviantArt and looked into it and felt it described me. In hindsight, I really think I decided on it too young, but I guess I can't complain seeing as how my feelings have yet to change.
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

Yeah, I guess. I don't identify as LGBT+ because of my asexuality so much as my transsexualism, though. Don't necessarily like being either and I try to distance myself from most LBGT+ stuff these days but I guess I "identify" with those two.
5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

Me, at 13: hey mom i'm asexual

Mom: nuh uh you like boys

Me: *cries*
6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

I have yet to encounter any law or institution that dehumanizes me for my lack-of-sexual-attraction (maybe I'm just lucky?), but societal stuff kinda comes with the ace package. I was picked on a lot for it as a kid ( I even had a spot of bullying that would fit in any given Lifetime movie) and I faced some really unfortunate circumstances because of my sexual orientation when I got older.
7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

As far as I know, none of the characters I like are canonically considered or declared asexual.
8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

I've always believed the whole "pride" thing was good for educating others, so yeah I guess. I imagine it'd be a lot like other LGBT+ pride but with more cakes on the supportive t-shirts.
9. What does being asexual mean to you?

Lack of sexual attraction/desire for sexual contact with others.
10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

"wow what a prude freak haha" - every kid I ever went to school with

"kk" - my family

"alright lol" - my boyfriend

"UM EXCUSE ME but um all teenagers want sex um so you're wrong sweetie :)))" - those abstinence til marriage ladies I talked to one time

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

My boyfriend probably. He accepted it without any issue.
12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

No.
13. Your favorite asexual website.

Um.
14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

I don't actually think I've met any other asexuals IRL? But some of my Intermanet buddies are asexual so that's cool I guess.
15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

None I guess lol
16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

So many.
17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

SO MANY.
18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

"knock knock"

"who's there"

"asexuality"

"asexuality who"

"ASEXUALITY YOU GLAD I DIDN'T SAY BANANA"

"gary for the love of god"
19. What do relationships mean to you?

They're cool I guess. I like mine. It's nice. I guess it's like a super close friendship you wanna keep going forever. If you're into that sorta thing, anyway.
20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

He's handsome and extremely gay and he likes butts and The Walking Dead.
21. Your favorite asexual quote.

"If you take the first step out of the equation, you are left merely with 'get money,' which I find much more attractive then dat booty." - Abraham Lincoln probably
22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Probably genetic in-utero development stuff.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

Em.
24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

Sweetie :)))) sweetie, were you treated badly when you were little? did your mommy and daddy not love you enough?? did someone hurt you to make you like this? it's okay baby, you don't have to pretend :)))))
25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

"But... but I like sex a lot, and I cannot fathom feelings outside my own experiences... you must be wrong..."
26. Who is your biggest ally?

*loud shrugging*
27. What is your favorite types of cake?

Not big on food.
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Pie charts.
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

I've said it a bazillion times, but that one art website.
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

*small conclusive fart noise*

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CakeGuardian

Part 1
1. How do you define your asexuality?
Ace on the more sexual side of asexual, but still pretty ace.
2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?
Yes. I've had no problems so far as most people I know are very open-minded and accepting (I've actually found out that two of my friends are a form of asexual as well!)
3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?
Not being accepted for who I am.
4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?
I saw the definition probably on tumblr or something and i was like 'huh, that makes sense.'
5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?
No, I do not.
6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?
I am a pretty romantic person and am very open to dating, whether inside or outside of the ace community.
7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?
I am in my school's GSA and I want to go into advocacy work, I think. LGBT+ stuff if my favorite thing to learn about and tell people about.
8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?
People thinking I'm really missing out when it comes to sex.
9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?
The best is when someone goes, "Me too!" and the worst is when I've been told "I'm sorry, you're missing out."
10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?
I am not in a relationship now, but I would really like to be.
11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?
I am sex-positive in all aspects, but am not sure how I feel when it comes to sexual experiences with me and other people.
12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?
Positive representation and widespread acceptance.
13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?
I think I'm alright.
(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

Part 2
1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?
I tend to define myself as panromantic asexual.
2. Are you out? To whom?
I am out to my friends, family, and anyone who asks really; I wore a t-shirt to school about asexuality during ace awareness week. I am very open about it.
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?
I was probably 13 or 14. Again, I just saw a set on tumblr about it (I think) and was like, 'Oh, that's me ... ayyyyy'
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?
The asexual community, the pan community (but only partially bc again, pan ace), the lesbian community (bc i really like girls).
5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.
I think I just casually mentioned it to my friend over skype and she was just like 'okay'. Most of my friends were like that - they're very open-minded and accepting. My first actual legit coming out was probably on my mission trip. One kid was asking, 'aren't pansexuals attracted to just transgender people?' and I went into a whole talk about sexuality. After it, they still were confused about the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction and that asexuals can still have libido.
6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?
No I really haven't.
7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)
Doctor Who? (11 but I also really like 10)
8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?
Definitely! Especially because so many people are confused and feel terrible and broken before finding out that asexuality is a thing.
9. What does being asexual mean to you?
A lack of sexual attraction. You can still feel romantic attraction (unless you're aro, of course!).
10. What have other people said about your asexuality?
Almost everyone was like 'alright, cool, nice' and only twice have I had slighty offensive questions, but they weren't meant to be offensive or hurtful.
11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.
All of my friends. Almost all of us are queer in one way or another.
12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

I don't think I have one.
13. Your favorite asexual website.

This is the only one.
14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

Some of my online friends as well as one of my friends is ace and another is grey-ace, and I know another ace, all in my friend group/ at school.
15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

Myself? I don't know of famous asexual people.
16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

There is usually romance in the books I read (go YA!). i hope to read some books with less romance and hopefully ace characters to see how that plays out.
17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

???
18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

Asexual pirates are not interested in your booty.
19. What do relationships mean to you?

Being really close to someone and caring about each other, like a best friend but with more feelings.
20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

All my friends are fun, queer, and hilarious (and very open-minded)
21. Your favorite asexual quote.

I don't have one.
22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Same as sexual orientation: genetics or something we don't know yet.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

Pride flag. I like the colors.
24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

"It's just a phase" or "You're missing out" or "So you don't get horny?" or "So like celibacy?"
25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

That it is only happens when someone has suffered sexual abuse, or that it doesn't exist because "sex is a basic part of humanity"
26. Who is your biggest ally?

My friends.
27. What is your favorite types of cake?

CHOCOLATE.
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Oreo dirt cake!
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

Tumblr, I think.
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

...

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1. How do you define your asexuality?

100% asexual/aromantic/uninterested

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

i think everyone knows from that fact that i've never really been interested in boyfreinds and always complain about love + romance been "sloppy"

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

everyone hates on us for no reason... :(

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

when i was in a relationship and i had the revelation that i wasnt attracted to my boyfreind and preferred him as a freind

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

nope, i never had any role models tbh

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

no. just no

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

none at all

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

blimey where do i start?! the "waste of genitalia" is the stupidest thing i have heard, and people bascailly not beleiving that its real. and worst of all that i must be mentally ill... what he hell?

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

not sure. see above

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

never. not interested at all

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

sex should only be for making babies i just dont "get" why you would do it for other reasons

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

to be accepted and not treated like freaks

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

errr dunno

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

100% asexual/aromantic/uninterested


2. Are you out? To whom?

think everyone knows/figured it out already. i know my parents have finally accepted the fact im never getting married/having kids and have give up going on about it


3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

21. i already answered this before


4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

no


5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

i never officially came out


6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

just what ive read online


7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

ehhh


8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

i dunno about pride but it should definitley not be something to be ashamed of...


9. What does being asexual mean to you?

no attraction to anyone not wanting sex with anyone


10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

nothing really


11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

not sure


12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

dont use tumblr


13. Your favorite asexual website.

this is the only site i know of lol


14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

er just people on this site and a few other sites mentioned it


15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

dont know any


16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

as above. maybe harry potter if that counts but that could be just because its aimed at kids


17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

as above, i dont really watch movies or have faves


18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

dont know any offhand


19. What do relationships mean to you?

nothing


20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

i dont have any


21. Your favorite asexual quote.

"turned on? i'm not an electric appliance..." dunno if its a quote but it was on a pic


22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

born with it, just how you are


23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

dunno, ace of spades always seemed pretty appropiate to me for some reason


24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

i just hate the ignorant people that say you havent found the right person or even worse that your mentally ill


25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

prob the mentally ill thing


26. Who is your biggest ally?

ehh


27. What is your favorite types of cake?

chocolate!!


28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

meaty ones, preferably beef


29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

i cant remember i know i had seen it mentioned around the internet before i knew i was it


30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

dont really know

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Mangosteen

1. How do you define your asexuality?

I'm not burdened by sexual desire.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

My mum knows, and so does my best friend. I'd told my mum about asexuality before identifying with the term while we were discussing T. E. Lawrence, who is rumoured to have been asexual. At first, she kept asking me: "Are you sure?" and saying: "You might change your mind", and she's dissapointed and saddened that she won't have any grandchildren, but now she understands and doesn't say anything about it anymore. She's celibate herself, and since we're both Catholics, she sees more good than bad in it.

As for my best friend, she's the most open-minded person I've ever known and is completely fine with it.

I hinted at it to a few other people, including my dad, but as the matter of my sexuality hasn't come up in conversation, I haven't felt the need to announce it.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

Only that I will get sexually assaulted by a man. I'd be less traumatised if it were a woman.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

It's happened over the years. I feel more comfortable telling people that I have no desire to be with a man than using the adjective "asexual", which is what I meant in answer number 1. Although they could be thinking that I'm secretely a lesbian, but heterosexuals don't voice their sexual orientation, which I assume is because it feels so natural and normal to them. Not being attracted to others is one of the most natural things in the world. Nothing feels more normal than that.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Not really. I can't say for sure that T. E. Lawrence was asexual, but he is one interesting man.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

Romance ... eh, I doubt I have a romantic bone in my body. I could write a romance if I felt compelled to, and I can watch a movie and enjoy it if ithe storyline is good, but there are so many other more interesting things in the world and spending time on romance feels like a waste of time. I'd rather have a good friend.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

My best friend is in a relationship with a person of the same sex. I can't connect to them, because by definition, sex doesn't have a role in my life. My first real boyfriend was bisexual, and I believe the reason we broke up was because he was more attracted to men than women. I think he slept around, too; but the good thing about it was that we had a connection, and we weren't sexually active only because I didn't want to be (I was 16-17, he was in his early twenties), and he respected that. All the gay/bi people that I've known were important to me and had a big impact on my life. My second boyfriend was also bisexual. This one girl from my childhood has turned out to be a lesbian. I'm actually surprised by the number of gay/bi people I've met in my short life. But I've moved a lot, so I've met a lot of people.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I don't have any pet peeves. I can comment on a person's appearance strictly from an aesthetic point of view, kind of like some gay men comment on women's appearance, but if you're going to talk about your sex life ... please, spare me the details.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Not any, yet. Aside from what I've seen on the internet.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

That's not going to happen. Are asexuals self-absorbed? They seem to be the most unusual and unprejudiced group of people I've ever seen. We have more freedom than others. Sadly, society makes us question our nature.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

While on Earth, live and let live.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

Whatever is best for them. I don't know if I'll become an advocate for asexuality, but for the sake of those who live in fear/uncertainty, I hope that one day asexuality will be common-knowledge.

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TheLycanthrope

1. How do you define your asexuality?
I have no sexual desire towards males or females in the real world. Occasionally I can find an illustration online appealing, but when I see a human in the real world I feel no attraction towards them.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?
I am only out to a select few friends who I can count on one hand.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?
Not exactly. People assume I have never had sex (I have, reluctantly) and that I am single because I am a horrible person who nobody cares for (people don't like me for some reason -shrug-). I just don't want sex or a relationship, simple as that.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?
As my libido began to fade, along with my desire for sex and a relationship. When I had sex it was so. . . boring. More exhausting and annoying than anything. I see humans just as human, more annoying than sexual. Eventually a close friend of mine and I talked about it and I had to come to that conclusion. It makes sense.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?
No. I don't exactly have role-models.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?
No. No romance, please. I hate PDAs, I hate seeing couples, and I despise romance in movies and tv shows. Gets in the way of things and brings upon troubles and bs that could easily have been avoided.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?
I do not like the term "queer community," but despite said name I feel practically no connection to it. I have no connection to it and no experiences with it. I know many homosexual people and I am friends with many of them, however.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?
I feel left out sometimes from what seems to be a significant part of people's lives. Whenever a girl heres this they just giggle and say "good" or "of course." Comments like these make me even less attracted towards humans, even though there is virtually no attraction there to begin with.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?
Whenever a woman hears this they laugh at me or mock me, saying that I am this way just because I am a loser who can't get any. Whenever a man hears this I am marked as some sort of "beta faggot." I don't flaunt my asexuality. I pretty much keep it to myself outside of this website.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?
No. No. No. I guess.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?
Not sure what this is. I heard it is part of the 3rd wave feminist movement's hopes to educate people on the evolving complexity of human sexuality. I don't have any stake in this if that is the case.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?
I don't see asexual people being discriminated against in terms of workplace, employment, resume etc. It is more of we are simply seen as weird or called names. I don't see much need for laws unless we begin to be openly discriminated against in the workplace, places of business, and/or people begin to attack us and exclude us on a wide scale based solely on our lack of sexual attraction.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?
Perhaps, if anything, how to realize that being asexual is not a bad thing. Finding no sexual attraction to someone isn't going to make people scorn you, but people may find you to be weird or may mock you. Perhaps focus on this.

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Laurawrzz

Woo, I love questions! :D

1. How do you define your asexuality?

I wish I knew! All I know at the moment is I don't experience sexual attraction and sex is not attached to any thoughts I have when it comes to other people (except of course when I'm thinking about why I'm not thinking about sex, but that's a whole other conundrum).

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

I'm only out to two people. They both accepted me with open arms and I'm extraordinarily grateful to them for that.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

I suppose the biggest fear is that I dearly love my Dad, but I will never come out to him before one of us dies. I fear never telling him; that I'll always be lying to him.

... That came out as more depressing than I intended. :wacko:

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

Many hints over the years that accumulated into finding AVEN's asexual definition and thinking, "oh, wait, this sounds like me!"

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

I look to the fictional character the Doctor, the most famous asexual character to ever be created (without many sexuals realising it! ^_^ ).

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I would be happy dating a sexual so long as they understood my boundaries and respected them, and they have to understand that I won't enjoy having sex with them and our interactions will be limited. I'd even be happy for them to go and fill their sexual desires elsewhere so long as we had enough of a romantic connection to be a valid relationship i.e sure, go and sleep with someone to get your fill but if you're not happy with me please let me know so we can both move on.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I am in a LBGTQ+ group at University and I have a freakish amount of lesbian friends (everyone seems to be non-cis in Devon...!). They all assume I'm a lesbian right now and I'm totally fine with that...!

...

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

Eventually, but the relationship with have to be with another asexual who would be fine with the idea of having children, as I would like to have children and yeah, it's annoy, but sex is what makes babies so I'm told.

...

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

Equal recognition as a bonafide sexuality in every way, without stigma.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

Very late, about 21 (only in the last year or two). I knew there was something about me, but until I properly started Googling it and found a definition on AVEN I didn't know it existed. I just thought It would fix when I had sex but now I know it's okay I seriously doubt that's the case!
4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

I don't "identify", I understand the other communities and their plights and I support them, but anyone of any sexuality is equally matched in my eyes.
5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

My best friend. Just after I started Uni I was at her house, and she was asking me if I'd met anyone. It kind of slipped out. I started crying and it got a bit awkward (for me, not her!) but after she asked what asexuality was, just to clarify, she hugged me tightly. Nothing has changed between us.

...

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

Tenth! *points at avatar :D *
8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

I'm not so keen on pride marches. Why must sexuality of any kind have to have a march? All sexualities should just be completely normal. You don't get heterosexual pride.
9. What does being asexual mean to you?

Something that to be honest I wished I didn't have but as I do, I just need to accept it.

...

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

I've not met any other person who identified as asexual IRL. Then again, guess you'd have to be lucky wouldn't you? :o

...

19. What do relationships mean to you?

Closeness, security, companionship and trust.
20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

I love my best friend with all my heart. She the kindest, beautiful and most brilliant person I know. If I was sexual we'd probably be married by now.
...
22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Genetics.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

Mmm... cake.

...

27. What is your favorite types of cake?

As much chocolate as is physically possible to cram into a cake.
28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

I like steak pie. That's not quite the same thing is it...! :P
29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

This website called AVEN, do you know it? :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

1. How do you define your asexuality?
For me, personally, I call myself asexual because I have no interest in having a sexual relationship, and do not really belong to sexual culture.

I doubt myself often in this, and consider myself grey, because I have this low-level attraction that I don't really understand yet, and sex interests me artistically. But I'm also touch-repulsed. When I'm reminded that it's something people actually want and seek out physically, I realize that I'm closer to the asexual side of the spectrum than anything else.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?
I came out on facebook for asexual awareness week, which means that about twenty people I don't really care about now know. My sister knows. No one really cares. I think if I told other family members, they would make fun of me, and if I told people at work etc they wouldn't understand or believe me.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

That I'll never belong anywhere. That humans are different from me.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

A lot of research.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Kerewin from The Bone People.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I am a very romantic person, I like reading romantic things, provided they also have some literary value (but my definition of romance probably isn't the same as others'. I don't know.) I wouldn't mind dating a sexual person. I want to find someone who I can actually communicate with. Their personal interests aren't that important.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I always felt connected to the queer community growing up. I was "that gay kid" in high school, with the weird or androgynous clothes and hair, etc. I always felt othered. I experienced some attraction to both sexes as a teenager. I liked watching movies about queer issues, because I also felt like an outsider. I went through thinking I was straight, then bi, then lesbian, until in college I figured I wasn't any of these. I sort of grieved at that point, because I feel like I'll never have a sexual identity, never be able to say with clarity: "I am a lesbian. That's why I have short hair and wear flannels and have girlfriends." It's silly, but I feel like I can't identify as queer without having the interpersonal relationships to back it up. Because in the end, I associate queerness with sex.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I rarely discuss either.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Best: A mental-health professional asked me my orientation. When I hesitated, she listed out options, and included asexual! I was so surprised.

I don't have a worst.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?
I would like to be in a relationship someday.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

I don't really know what that means. I guess I'm not. I have a lot of internal negativity about sex. I respect people less when they are in sexual relationships. I think of myself as being better than those people who like sex.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

I don't think there needs to be much change? I don't feel so strongly connected to asexuals as a group that I would rally about it. I can't think of any legal problems there might be off the top of my head...And I feel like visibility is not really possible. People don't really pay attention to things that they don't think affect them personally.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?
No...?

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Oooh, well this seems fun...

1. How do you define your asexuality?

I feel that I'm asexual, because I've never been sexually attracted to someone. My friends will have these crushes. Even when I try to theorize a relationship with someone, it doesn't have any appeal to me.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

I don't know if I can really say I'm "out", give that I'm comfortable only telling my friends, but not my family. It's great though, I've only recently been telling my friends, but they're really chill about it.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

My fears don't really have to do with my orientation, but I guess, no matter how hard I try to say I don't, I will have a need to be accepted, by at least someone.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I've always, personally, never been not asexual. I feel like I've known forever, really. I'm only 13 and I found out about the word (as a sexual orientation, I knew the reproduction) since last autumn. When I was younger, people would ask me if I like boys. I'd say no. Then they'd ask me if I like girls. I'd say no. Then they asked me who I like. I said no one really. Before, finding out about the word, when I got to middle school, I told people I was straight. It feels nice to be able to identify myself correctly now.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

Nah.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I'm aromantic.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I have some relatives and friends, but that's it really.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I guess when they use my age as an argument. I'm only 13. Haven't been bombarded with hormones and such. My mum, who is a nurse, says we've always had hormones, even from when we were born. I suspect there was a reason she started asking me when I was in the 2nd grade if I have a crush on someone. That was 6 years ago. Nothing has changed. People might also say that it's not a thing. That....annoys me.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Well, I've just started "coming out", so there'll be more to come.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

Romantically, haha, no. I am interested in having a queerplatonic relationship, but that interest is directed towards one person and is a recent development.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

I am. To me, it means that although I might not be into that kind of thing, I'm still okay with the idea of sex. I could still be uncomfortable about it, but I still think that it's okay for others (or for me, but in my case, not me) to have sex as long as it's legal, safe, and consensual.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

I just want us to be accepted by everyone. I hope that everyone (not just asexuals) would be open about their sexuality and everyone would accept each other for it.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

Nah.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

I am an aromantic asexual.
2. Are you out? To whom?

Yes, but only to my friends. Ehhhhh.
3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

I've always known, just have never had the word.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Yes. There already is. Look at this website. There are flags, marches, people. I want a black ring. There goes another symbol. Aces. Yay.
9. What does being asexual mean to you?

That I'm not sexually attracted to anyone or anything. That is all. It's a thing of the mind, not of what we do.
10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

Haven't talked to many people about it...

19. What do relationships mean to you?

A lot, I cherish the people I love, there's just no one I love sexually or romantically.

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Nothing. It's not a choice, it's just who we are. I mean, I guess genetics then. Not so much it being passed down, but just what makes us us. It's different for everyone though.
23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

The black ring. I really want one. The black stripe on the flag stands for asexuality.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

Learn about it? Here. I asked one of my friends what the word for not being sexually attracted to anyone or anything is. They said asexual. I was thinking of reproduction, so I didn't really accept the word, but I asked my other friend and she said it was valid. I then looked it up and here I am.
30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with.

I hope that one day we'll all be alright. I like being me. I might change. I might not. But right now, I am asexual. And I am proud.

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fish of hearts

I haven't been around the asexual community very long, so I think only the short list would be for me.

1. How do you define your asexuality?

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

  1. I'm a highly sensual, androromantic, sex-averse asexual, which is to say I long for and value physical intimacy with someone (typically male) whom I trust, but sex itself in most forms is off the table.
  2. I'm "out" to my husband and my best friend. As I'm currently in a non-Western foreign country, there is little opportunity or need to bring up my sexual orientation or preference. When I return to the States, it will likely be another matter.
  3. Since I'm highly romantic and sensual, and since we're polyamorous, I'm afraid of starting a new relationship with someone who will only give lip service to respecting my boundaries and then deliberately cross them. (See The Physical Touch Escalator by the Thinking Asexual)
  4. It sure wasn't through AVEN! :unsure: The definitions on the main site immediately turned me away because "sexual desire" and "sexual attraction" are indefinite terms for someone who's alloromantic and mixing signals with friends' descriptions of attractiveness. (Thankfully this post is a great deal more clear on the matter.) Reading the experiences of Wordpress asexual bloggers like the Thinking Asexual and Ace Theist gave me the "Oh, holy crap, this is me!" moments that made me feel like I'd finally found people who understood and accepted my desires and life experiences.
  5. I don't have an asexual role model nor do I want one (because in my case, deliberately seeking role models can be mentally unhealthy), but I certainly support those who are role models for others!
  6. I love romance! I don't mind being with a sexual person as long as they respect my boundaries. Being polyamorous probably helps most in this regard, lol.
  7. I've had queer friends for most of my adult life, and I support them in whatever ways I can. As an asexual, I haven't had much interaction with the community as a whole, and perceiving myself as white and "straight" for most of my life, my habit is always to sit back and let others speak first.
  8. I haven't had many experiences discussing my asexuality with others, but so far the "you need to see a doctor" respose has been the most grating.
  9. See number 8.
  10. I'm in one now. I love him dearly and can't imagine my life without him.
  11. I consider myself sex positive, but most of the experience I've had with the sex positive community has been through Laci Green's videos, and she seems to be supportive of the asexual community and is hugely vocal about consent. To me, sex positivity provides a counter message to the one I've grown up with, that sex is not, as my religious hometown community would have me believe, an inherently dirty, degrading act that takes away a woman's value and adds to a man's.

    I view sex positivity in a similar way I view feminism. I don't want to be a part of feminism that ignores or erases intersectionality. Likewise, asexual acceptance has to be a part of the sex positive movement, or there's nothing positive about it.
  12. I would love to see rape culture obliterated, as that would help everyone, asexuals included. I'm also eager for mainstream psychology to catch up with the sexologists who are studying and validating asexuality as "normal" state of being as has already been done with homosexuality.
  13. I would love to hear from others about polyamory, how much understanding they have of it and of the polyamorous community, would they consider it, and what experiences they have had with it.
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1) I believe I'm asexual because I've never felt sexual attraction and the idea of sex repulses me.

2) I've come out to a few people. My parents didn't take it well and argued with me but they seem to have forgotten so it hasn't caused any long term issues. Two friends I told accepted it and one hadn't heard of it and was very interested in learning about it. Two friends didn't really, one because he doesn't understand and just kind of let it go, and the other argued with me and stuff so we aren't really talking right now.

3) Not really any fears other than worrying about if I tell someone, how they'll treat me afterward.

4) While I've known I was different in that way from everyone else I knew since 15 or 16, I didn't learn the term in the way we use it until last year.

5) Nope.

6) Even though I don't really need to be, I kinda want to be in a romantic relationship with another asexual person.

7) Not very connected, my best friend is really my only connection to it aside from the two asexual people I follow on Tumblr.

8 ) Just when people try to argue with me or think asexuals are just not mature enough or something and will grow out of it.

9) The best was when I told a friend who just asked why I thought I was asexual and was fine with it. The worst was when I told a friend who argued with me for an hour and told me if I trusted him he'd show me how great it could be to be with a man or something stupid and made me feel horrible, I haven't spoken to him since.

10) I'm not really seeking one out, just kind of a if it happens it happens kinda thing. I'd be fine with a best friend forever but I do kinda want to be in a romantic relationship someday, seems nice.

12) I hope some day people are more accepting and don't freak out and it's just like "ok cool" kind of reaction.

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allrightalready

How do you define your asexuality?


as demisexual i will only have sex with someone i already have an established emotional relationship with who i trust



Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?


i will talk about it with people but i do not loudly proclaim it. no problems from people in my life now but i have a lot of problems from men who always seem to hit on me (i pass for straight). realizing it myself was harder than telling people has been (as opposed to coming out as lesbian to my family which ended our relationship)



Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?


not really



How did you figure out that you were asexual?


i always just thought i was "normal" because i was raised to not have sex outside a relationship (my interpretation of get married first since marriage has not been a legal option for me very long). it worked fine for most of my relationships and i just thought men were overly sexual but i was not interested in them anyway. after my long term partner died i was spending more time with other lesbians and after many years (15) i have figured out that nearly everyone is more sexual than i am and so the special label of demisexual is needed to differentiate my attitude to relationships.



Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?


no



How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?


i like spending time with others (though as an introvert i then need to recharge) and close friends or even dating (so long as no sex) is great. i am also very tactile so i like hugs and cuddling with people i trust.



How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?


very, virtually all of my friends (irl and online) identify as QUILTBAG in one way or another. My experience is that they are in general nicer than the main population (which is not to say that i have not met any real jerks)



What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?


that they can "cure" me



What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?


best = "oh, neat, lets eat"


worst = various sexual advances and being insistent about it (been stalked and even assaulted)



Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?


i do see myself in one but not until i get to the community i am building, no commitment until then


not in one now, my last attempt broke up last year (2014) in june due to her lying


have not given up just waiting



Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?


yes, it means that i am ok with any consenting adults doing what they wish together



What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?


i would really just like people to be celebrated for who they are and not be coerced into anything or into being anyone they are not (this applies to so many things, do or don't have sex, bodily autonomy (intersex, fgm, circumcision and more)



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1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Romantic Sensual Demisexual all hetero

2. Are you out? To whom? My best friend knows

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? Earliest memory is in my early to mid teens but I didn't really know what it was until recently. Stumbleupon took me to a site about Demisexuality

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? I'm unsure. The way I understand it Queer is supposed to represent anyone that's not a hetero and sexual. Maybe I'm mistaken. If that's the definition I guess I am. I'm definitely Hetero, but I'm Demi so... Man this is a hard question, should it be this hard?

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. I was talking to my best friend about why it was so hard for me to get a girlfriend, and how I just didn't understand how someone could go up to some person they know nothing about and ask them to spend personal time with them. She agreed it's an odd way to do things, and several days later I came to the aforementioned website and was like, "Huh. There's a word for it." And sent her the link. She was happy for me that I finally understood more about myself.

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal? As I'm still pretty new to the scene and the only person I've discussed it with is herself bisexual I'm going to have to say no.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?) Tennent and though you didn't ask Donna is the best companion

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like? Well, you should always take pride in yourself, but I think you're more referring to like LGBT pride and I think that mostly stems from the oppresion they face, while many people may not believe in the Asexual spectrum I don't think there's really any oppression to overcome and be proud of (Again, new to the community, and could be very wrong here)

9. What does being asexual mean to you? Uhh that I'm not sexually attracted to someone until I've made a significant emotional attraction.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality? Again the only person who knows is my Best Friend and she was happy for me, going forward I hope it can be acceptance but I'll take it as it comes

13. Your favorite asexual website. AVEN :P

14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online. You guys are my only Ace friends so far, but you've been really great

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person. Commander Data

16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus). Wheel of Time

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie. Wall-E? Does that count?

19. What do relationships mean to you? Just check out my sig.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s). She's a great girl, we met at a job we had a while back and even after we both left we kept it touch. I have a pretty hard time making friends and she was the first one in a long time to show any interest in me. I feel like I can talk to her about anything and that she won't dismiss me and accept anything I tell her.

26. Who is your biggest ally? My ally is the Force and a powerful ally it is.

27. What is your favorite types of cake? Chocolate, Ginger, Spice, Cheese, Sooooo many good cakes

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) There is no acceptable replacement for cake

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? I don't even remember it was forever ago

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1. How do you define your asexuality?

I'm not interested in sex in the slightest.Complete lack of sexual attraction.

2. Are you out? If so, has that caused you problems? What was coming out like for you?

I wouldn't say I'm out,but some people do know.My mother is clearly upset with it and keeps saying it's just a phase.The rest don't really believe me,but I don't mind.

3. Do you have any fears, specifically as an asexual person?

Related to my asexuality?Nah.

4. How did you figure out that you were asexual?

I always knew.Used to cry because of it when I was really young.

5. Do you have an asexual role-model? Who? Why?

I don't really know any other asexuals.

6. How do you feel about romance? What about dating outside of the asexual community, i.e. a sexual person?

I don't think I'd ever be able to date a sexual person,but romance is nice as long as it doesn't involve kissing (I find it really awkward because frankly,I feel nothing at all) I simply adore gentle touches and just the feeling of someone being there,the closeness.

7. How connected do you, personally, feel to the queer community? What have your experiences, if any, been like with them?

I'm romantically attracted to both genders and have only been in a 'romantic relationship',if you could call it that,with a person of the same gender.I've also been to a gay parade once,and the support was astounding.So,I guess I'm pretty connected.

8. What are your pet peeves that people bring up when you are discussing sexuality/asexuality?

I've never actually had the chance to discuss asexuality because people automatically laugh at me and say that I simply want attention.

9. What are some of the best and worst experiences you’ve had with peoples’ opinions of asexuality?

Coming out to my mum was the worst.She still makes me feel down and pressured whenever I bring it up and says that I just want to be different from the rest.

10. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship eventually? Are you in one now? Do you even want one? Have you given up?

Maybe.I can't say whether I am in one;it's complicated.It would be nice to have one,and I haven't given up entirely yet.But the thought of never being in one doesn't bother me either.

11. Are you sex-positive? What does that mean to you?

Yes.I don't really care about what others do.It's up to them.I would never degrade a person for enjoying sex.

12. What sort of future do you want for asexuals, in terms of visibility, laws, etc?

I would be nice if people would at least realise that such a thing exists and we're not just attention whores.I don't know when that'll happen.

13. Is there anything in particular that you want me to educate the group on? Anything that I missed in this questionnaire, keeping in mind that it will be largely an overview with Q&A and discussion after?

(Or I guess for all intents and purposes here: 13. Anything you want to add?)

Nah.Can't think of anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

Asexual demiromantic,bordering on aromantic.


2. Are you out? To whom?

My best friends,my mother and random people here and there.

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

As I mentioned above,I've always know.I don't know how,but it was just always there.

4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?

I do identify as part of the queer community,for the reason I stated above.I don't identify with any other communities.

5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

To be quite honest,I don't even remember.

6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?

Yeah.I'm constantly being told that I don't fit into society and I've even received death threats.But I honestly don't give a damn.

7. Who's your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?)

Definitely Izaya from Durarara!.I have tons of favourite anime character that I consider asexual,but he's the only one that's been confirmed.

8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like?

Dunno.

9. What does being asexual mean to you?

It's just a part of me.Something that I've come to accept and eventually love.

10. What have other people said about your asexuality?

Mentioned above.

11. If you're out, talk about the most accepting person you've come out to. If you're not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

My best friend.She simply nodded,smiled,and told me that it's fine since that's how I feel.


12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site.

Don't have any.


13. Your favorite asexual website.

I only know AVEN to be honest.


14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online.

My 'partner' claims to be asexual.But she's really into romantic stuff,and I'm not and it's kinda hard.I wouldn't mind being the only asexual in my limited group of friends,but having someone else is actually comforting.

15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person.

I don't know who is or isn't asexual.And I stated my favourite character above.


16. Your favorite "asexual" book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus).

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe & Suicide Watch.They feature romance,but it's really limited and light.

17. Your favorite "asexual" movie.

Don't know any.


18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

Don't know any.

19. What do relationships mean to you?

They're nice but troublesome.

20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s).

She's an amazing musician who gives herself too little credit.She loves to draw and is really good at it,and I simply adore the light in her eyes when she talks about things she likes.She doesn't think she's worth is and suffers from depression.Even attempted suicide once.Seeing her being sad is devastating,but she's found reasons to live.She talks about the future,and I couldn't be more happier.She is really loving and sweet and I wish I could give her all the love she deserves.

21. Your favorite asexual quote

I didn't even know there were any.

22. What do you believe causes asexuality?

Dunno.

23. What is your favorite asexual pride image?

-


24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

-


25. What is the worst argument you've heard against asexuality?

"Don't worry,someday you'll find the right person"


26. Who is your biggest ally?

My best friend and my 'partner'

27. What is your favorite types of cake?

Chocolate.

28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)

Cherry.

29. Where did you first learn about asexuality?

I don't even remember.

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1. Heteromantic, gray-asexual.

2. I'm out to one of my close friends, and she told one (that I know of) of her friends about me... so I guess her too...

3. I was 13, the guys I hanged out with constantly talked about this one girls ass. I didn't share their obsession when she was around, so I kinda realized I was different from the others then.

4. I have only met two LGBTQIA people in my life personally (as in not a public speaker but more of a friend-like capacity) and I am on very awkward ground with both of them (they don't know each other either, completely unrelated interactions), not for sexuality reasons but because they don't like me as a person. This kind of puts me off from that community right now but I support the queer community. I identify with my friends and the asexual community, I guess...

5. I came out to a very close friend in the middle of class (high school) when we were talking about which career I should have, one of my friends has said I should be a priest as a joke for years now, my close friend said "oh c'mon, it's not like he's asexual". I just smiled and said "I am actually." She then talked with me about how it didn't make sense I was and the stuff it explained.

6. In a word, no. Because not many people know about me being ace.

7. The 10th is my favorite, the romance with rose! AHH!!

8. Yes, I would like to hold up an "I don't give a f***" sign! Oh the puns!

9. It means not feeling sexual attraction, anything else is up to the individual.

10. The friend I came out to said that I couldn't because I was attracted to this one girl, I just said that it wasn't anything sexual.

11. Weirdly, the most accepting person that I told was my friend's friend whom she told without me knowing. She asked if it was true and she was okay with it when I told her, and when we were walking back to our friend group and guys were acting like I was hitting on her (thumbs ups, whistles, etc.) she screamed "he's asexual!". Really good friend now, great person.

12. Not on Tumblr,

13. Aven.

14. Never met another ace.

15. AmeliaAce (look her up on Youtube).

16. I don't know any asexual books.

17. (A) sexual, the asexuality documentary on Netflix.

18. If you ever need anything, you got an ace up your sleeve.

19. Relationships are about accepting and supporting each other whether it's with sexuality, your career, or whatever.

20. My best friend is, in a word, crazy, because she is really eccentric and then really not eccentric. And tells her friends personal things about me for some reason.

21. If there can be sex without love, why can't there be love without sex?

22. Most are born with it.

23. The asexual flag, which is my phone's lock screen. I can do that because nobody knows what it is.

24. Queer as Cat on Youtube made a video where she showed this guy being very acephobic, that angers me.

25. That you're too young to know, I knew when I was 13! It is very apparent to the ace person!

26. My friend's friend that I'm friends with now. She defended me very loudly in a public place and that was so awesome.

27. Vanilla cake.

28. Pumpkin pie, and yes it is an acceptable replacement.

29. The (A) sexual documentary appeared on my try these next selections on Netflix.

30. Before I saw the (A) sexual documentary I thought of myself as disinterested in girls, since I grew up in a small town and had no idea of the LGBTQIA community.

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