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Did you think you were broken or normal?


VinnyCrow

Broken or Normal?  

  1. 1. Before you understood asexuality, did you think there was something wrong with you, or did you think you were normal?

    • I thought there was something wrong, and it really concerned me.
      146
    • I thought something was a little off, but I didn't worry about it much.
      192
    • I thought I was normal, but I had some uncertainty.
      84
    • I thought I was normal, and it never occurred to me to doubt it.
      61
    • I didn't know what to think.
      32

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Upon joining AVEN, I was actually surprised to see how many people thought they were broken or wrong in the past, because I never experienced that; the thought never even entered my mind. To me, my lack of sexual attraction was always normal; in fact, it took me a while to realise how sexual most people actually are, and I thought that was strange, not my own feelings. I only started to see how strange I am to others after I found out I'm asexual and it came up on occasion, and that was the weirdest thing of all: that people think asexuality is strange.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had similar thoughts and experiences.

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I neither thought I was broken or normal, I just didn't know what to think, and whenever I tried to figure it out, I never got very far, so I gave up.

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I used to think of myself as being "broken", but due to other reasons, not because of my sexuality, haha. ... >.>'

I thought I was "normal" in regards of being kind of attracted to males, however I grew to feel that this instance did not cover the whole issue.

It turned out that it was solely aesthetic attraction. The thought of having sexual intercourse with anyone just baffled me and made me cringe.

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I didn't know what to think, personally. I started off being clueless about why everyone else around me was sex crazed, and then went on to thinking why I wasn't. I did have a rough time though.

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I thought something was wrong with me, and I just needed to try to have sex to figure it out. So, I saw myself as broken, but it only concerned me a little.

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I didn't really know what to think. I kept waiting to become so called normal and it just didn't happen.

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I've thought I was broken since being a teenager. When all my friends were obsessed with girls and I was far more interested in anime I knew there was something wrong.

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Sneaky Snek 🐍

I always knew I was different. However, I felt I was normal, and everyone else was strange since I didn't understand why sex was so important. Over time, I did begin to worry I may be broken in some way, and that's why I'm glad I found AVEN. I do agree with Zero though, "normal is relative".

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What can I say? None of my relationships were working out, because I just couldn't take it as seriously as my partners, and I kept offending them by not enjoying it even when they went out of their way to show their feelings for me in sexual-related ways (even down to kissing). Nothing was wrong with them (at least most of the time), and they were good people, but I was the one that kept messing up every relationship no matter how hard I tried. And of course, I didn't even want relationships as strongly as everyone else I knew. Of course I thought there was something seriously wrong and broken inside.

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Kitty Spoon Train

The closest answer for me is I thought I was normal, but had some uncertainty...

Being demisexual, and hanging around with lots of people from relatively conservative backgrounds/cultures, I actually came across as relatively "normal". It was the more openly sexualised culture which seemed freakish. So that made me a bit of a (gender neutral) slut-shamer in the past, despite in theory being very progressive and sex-positive by philosophy. But then when I realised that I'm simply seeing things differently - on a visceral level, I stopped judging harshly. :lol:

But the older I get the more I realise that "normal" is very relative. So relative that it's basically non-existent.

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Waist of Thyme

I've actually known about asexuality since I was 12, so I've known about it for around the same time I've known about the concept of sexual orientation.

I knew that I was different from most people for not experiencing sexual attraction, but I didn't think I was broken or that there was something wrong with me. It's not because I knew about asexuality that I didn't feel broken; I wouldn't have felt broken even if I went through my entire life without learning that there's a word for it and there are others like me. Just because I don't experience a sensation that 99% of other people feel doesn't mean that I'm wrong or that I need help. As long as I'm happy with my life and I don't hurt others, that's all that matters. That's always been my philosophy on life.

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Yeah, I've thought I was broken... for more than one reason, but this is one of the main things xDD. I didn't care about dating anyone offline but when I got a boyfriend... and... well... it was all pretty awkward I guess. Still confused after almost five years of that as well ><

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I thought I was Normal and every one else was for what ever reason a hyper sexual sex addict, haha, I realize that line of thought is offensive now but it's really what I thought at the time haha. And thanks to aven I now understand sexuals a lot better. And realize there is nothing wrong with them or me.

Ironic huh?

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I though I was normal, I'm still am as knowing does not change what feels normal to me. Same goes to anything else discovered or "diagnosed" I may look and seem very different to others, but I don't really care to what other people think ;)
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I knew I was different, and I didn't know there was anyone else like me, but I wouldn't have called myself broken. I accepted that I was an anomaly (as I thought I was), and just got on with my life. Light knows it's not the only thing different about me.

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WhenSummersGone

I thought something was a little off, but I didn't worry about it much. Asexuality didn't cross my mind until around the time I joined this site basically. I have a high libido so I do have a sexual interest, just not for people sexually, and I didn't think there was much wrong growing up. Looking back on my life now I see it though.

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With this and most things in my personality/experiences, i tend to see my self as the absolute normal one, so i saw how sex obsessed other people seemed to be, and i thought, (still do sometimes) what the heck is wrong with them? lol

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I felt relieved that boobs could not hypnotise me.

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I didn't feel broken, I simply felt different. I loved not being "normal", so it didn't bother me. Actually, I never really thought much about it; most of the people I spent my teenage years with weren't exactly oversexualized, so it was fine.

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Maybe "broken" is a bit strong to describe the way I felt, but I definitely felt abnormal in my 20s and 30s, because I couldn't carry relationships forward into the sexual arena- and asexuality was viewed as dysfunctional at the time. I regretted it, but I didn't see that I was any less happy about my life than many of my sexual friends and much happier than some. My friends and siblings accepted me as I was and still am, and sometimes I'm the "rock" they hold onto when their lives get rough.

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I viewed myself as broken, and even tried to experiment in order to find out what was wrong and to fix it. I approached the whole thing scientifically. I had a list of possiabilities for my disinterest and I went down them as none of them felt right or sparked an interest. I'm a trooper like that ;)

The fact that I may be asexual was at the back of my mind, but it was not a concept that I grew up with, and therefore not forefront in my reasoning. Also, my silly scientific approach and my life philosophy of "don't knock it untill you try it" demanded that I experience in order to learn

I didnt really care about it though. It was no big deal to me, I just wanted to know what was wrong and if I could find that drive to insert everything into everything that everyone else seemed to have. ^_^ There is no repulsion, just no desire.

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I knew I wasn't entirely normal, but I didn't really worry about it. I referred to myself as 'platonicly hetorosexual', and was really more concerned with all my other problems.

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I knew I was peculiar. I didn't give it too much thought. Too busy living life.

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Quintus Crinis

I was very aware that I didn't understand other people and society's obsession with sex as the pinnacle of a relationship, and it caused me years of confusion while I tried to make sense of it - however I'm also socially anxious which concerned me much more and once I worked that out I had no feelings of being broken, just feelings of being completely confused about my lack of sexuality.



If that makes sense?


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Kitty Spoon Train

I was very aware that I didn't understand other people and society's obsession with sex as the pinnacle of a relationship, and it caused me years of confusion while I tried to make sense of it

I can relate to this. I think I've once described it as a disconnect between "knowing" something and "intuitively believing" it.

To this day it's not completely intuitive to me how sex is such a big deal to people, in the particular ways in which it is. But I can see and understand intellectually that it is, for a vast majority. It'll probably never sit completely naturally to me internally though, since I'm just not wired to function like that emotionally.

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TheSecretofmyLife

I felt broken, a lot of things in my life however contributed to this not just asexuality, it might have been a part of it though as i always felt that i should hide the fact that i didn't want sex around friends so i would just nod along and act the part, go out get drunk go home alone all whilst seeing my friends have the next conquest bleh but that is teenage men for you.

But as i said a lot of other things contributed to me feeling broken, from bullying to depression to anxiety.

i am happier now i know who and what i am but i don't know if i will tell my friends, I recently (within the past two weeks) told my parents however and they thought it was really good that i told them and they understood how I was feeling towards sex and relationships, and why i don't go out with anyone.

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