Did you think you were broken or normal?

[Swimfreak660]

I thought there was something wrong with me because I was still disgusted by even the thought of sex while many of my friends were becoming sexually active. Then as my friends would talk about attraction I would explain how I wasn't "sexually mature" yet. So I was attracted to guys but I didn't want to do anything with them, just kind of look at them. Very often this caused me to believe there was something wrong with me because it seemed that it was normal to be sexually attracted to people and to want sex but no matter how hard I tried anything of that nature disgusted me. Finding out about asexuality showed me that there are others out there like me and that my feelings did not mean there was something wrong with me.

[fogpunk]

I thought I was completely normal for a pretty long time until I made the mistake of telling a few of my then-friends that i wasn't interested in sex ._. their responses weren't very positive and that discouraged me to the point that I tried really hard to be a more sexual person and didn't feel comfortable accepting it again for years after. Bleh :/

[spiderwoman]

I was just really confused! And my sexualtiy was this huge mystery. I just felt different from all of my friends and family. And that's what I am. I am different than most people and thats fine. At least now I know in what way I'm different. I never considered myself as broken though. Maybe a little weird but still kinda normal.

[Guest]

I didn't actually think much about it, perhaps because I assumed I was "straight but not interested" until I came across asexuality.

[ladygrey-ace]

At first, I thought that I was just a late bloomer, but after I got to college, I started to think that there was something wrong with me, which led me to thinking I was broken for (what felt like) a while, until I finally learned about grey-asexuality.

[Pikanyaa]

I thought I was normal because everyone else was crazy. "Seriously, one night stands? What sane person makes those kinds of decisions!"

[Scifiknitwit]

I thought I was broken. It really sucked and only recently did I learn about asexuality and AVEN. It been like a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel like I've been validated. I tried fitting in and thought I was just picky and a late bloomer for a long time. But at nearly 30, I thought something was seriously wrong. I couldn't understand why I had never been interested in any one romantically. I had friends that would literally jump a hot guy and drag him to the bathroom and my thought was revulsion. I'm glad that I'm not broken, and hope I can learn to accept that I'm normal, even if my normal is only 1% of people.

[Synchrèse]

I thought there was something wrong with me (cold, heartless Tin Man) but mostly I didn't really bother myself thinking about it too much. Mostly it would make me concerned when I talked with the others and they didn't seem to understand how is it possible that I don't feel any particular feeling/attraction to anyone at all (they were telling me either:don't be so picky! or: come on, one day you'll find THIS guy). Now I know how to call my what I felt (or rather didn't feel) and I feel relieved and quite liberated.

[averylongwalk]

Why is the "little off" part an iffy "uncertainty", whereas the "normal" part is an absolute "never occured to me".

[Kavan Leif]

It happened to me too, the part about finding so many people in here who thought they were broken or something. For me it was something normal, until my friends turned into sex-crazed creatures and I realized something was a little off but it never really bothered me.

[Hikuroi]

I thought something was wrong with me because all my friends since middle school were very open about their sexuality and I met one girl who was sexually active at 9 (which I realize is unusual). One of my friends talked about almost having sex multiple times but not going further then striping and realizing what was happening then stopping but I never felt like that to around 14 I was thinking what's wrong with me but my friends always said you're just to innocent or you'll find someone your sexually attracted to someday but I'm not that innocent since the friend I mentioned above decided she needed to tell me some things because my parents didn't and I heard some terms on the internet and watched documentaries about prostitution and stuff but then I found out about asexuality and I was like wow that sounds like me and after research and a lot of though I was like yep that's me. And realized that I'm in the minority and dating will be a little more difficult but I'm not as broken as I thought I was.

[28516]

I haven't stopped feeling broken :/

[binary suns]

I thought I was more than normal, almost superior.... which I actively was battling against.... hrm,

[Sundance_]

I noticed something was off, but I just thought I was smarter than everyone.

I still think that.（￣ー￣）

[deleted_user_072223]

I just assumed I was straight for quite a while, and didn't realize I was different because I didn't realize what most of the world was really like. It wasn't until I was 13 that I realized sex even happened outside of having children, and I was 14 before I realized it was the norm to be interested in it (I thought it was just "perverted teenage boys" and that they acted so interested for the same reason they got into alcohol or drugs). At that point, I considered asexuality, but focused more on the idea of wanting to "wait until marriage," because I figured I could put up with it then (but I also thought "put up with it" meant maybe once or twice a year). Then, at age 15, I finally accepted that there was no way I could ever put up with this "sex" thing even after marriage, and that this wasn't typical for people my age.

So... it took a while. As others have said, I still don't really "get" how sex is such a big deal to most people, or even that it happens. I know it... but I don't particularly accept it. It's only when there's some sort of reminder as to how most people are that I realize, oh, yeah, I'm different.

[sasai]

I was a bit of a strange case for other reasons (mostly due to gender expression) but when it came to sexuality, I just thought everyone was trying to grow up too fast because of the strange hype about growing up.

I hated having to grow up. I really didn't want to deal with bills, taxes and responsibilities.

Snotty brat I might have been, but my priorities were none too bad ^_^

[Ultima]

I actually believed that I was somehow superior to most everyone else because while I could experience sexual arousal (and was fully capable of performing), I somehow manage to "transcend" such things in pursuit more important things... like video games, reading science blogs, and walking! :twisted: :D :lol: :P :) I am currently getting over a superiority complex. :evil: <_< This was the only way I could justify to myself why I did not pursue sex or relationships in general. Discovering asexuality and that there are a lot of people like myself, has forced me to come off the pedestal that I put myself on.

[verily-forsooth-egads]

I thought I was young. I always thought sexuality was in the future, and it took me years even to notice I was "behind" my peers. So yes, I thought I was normal.

[Ace of Cakes]

At first I thought I was normal and that everyone else was faking these feelings too. When I realized they weren't I began to think I might be broken somehow, but it didn't bother me too much because of the Christian purity culture I was raised in, where it was almost a good thing not to be having these thoughts/desires.

[Blacky]

It didn't really occur to me but I thought that there was something wrong because my views of the opposite sex and whatnot did not fit the heterosexual stereotype portrayed in books and movies as 'normal.'

[Christinanc93]

I was pretty sure there was something terribly wrong with me. My mom always had a lot of crushes growing up (celebrity and not). She's a hopeless romantic and expected me to have them too. I never did, but she asked so often that sometimes I just made shit up, and pretended to have one when I didn't. My peers began dating and experimenting with sex, they loved romance movies, and talked about their sex loves, and would comment on how "cute" or "hot" this or that boy is (talking specifically about girlfriends, as my guy friends were just as happy to talk to me about music or Star Trek or what we did in class that day, and rarely, if ever, talked to me about the sexual stuff). I never did. I couldn't if I wanted to, but, although I claimed to want to date and all that, for the purposes of sounding normal, I didn't really want to. I wanted a totally platonic cuddle buddy. In college, I made a rule with my roommate that if she was going to have sex, I didn't want to see it, hear it, or smell it. She took full advantage and certainly wasn't very respectful or the "hear it" rule... And pretty much everyone else, except for a few devout Christians, claimed to be doing the same. I found it disgusting, and they made it very clear that I was the broken one. I never chose to do anything, but I was forced once, partially because of my asexuality, partially because I was naive. But, people have always made it exceptionally clear that my lack of sexual and romantic feelings makes me a worthless freak, and even now that I understand, it's still hard to shake that conditioning.

[(Deleted)]

I was absolutely terrified for the longest of time, to be honest. Having had traumatic experiences with coming out as a lesbian (loads of abuse; mentally and physically. threats) ending up in a psych ward and all, I thought I'd finally overcome my fear by coming out and slowly accepting it. Still, something lingered in the back of my mind. I knew I was gay, but sex repulsed me. The thought never appealed to me, and I thought I was just too fucked up from experiences to actually feel comfortable to have sex? Without knowing about asexuality, I had no idea where I stood. I often panicked; I'm someone who needs to define themselves in order to calm down. To feel safe. And when I did found out about asexuality, it hit me so hard it scared me even more. I have to come out AGAIN? And this time in a way that could seriously damage a relationship with a girl I love because sex is nothing to me. I'm slowly coming to terms with, but sometimes I question why everything has to be so damn complicated and hard.

[Lady Valacri]

I thought I was broken and it drove me insane. I was with my very first boyfriend and I had never really been in love before. He was sexually abusive so at that young of an age, I thought that sex was love. Nothing else. After things got worse and I left him, I couldn't keep any relationships because I forced myself to be promiscuous and then feel into depression when I never felt anything but forced myself to do it to prove my "love".

Aven was seriously one of the best things to happen to me. I don't worry about it now that I know I'm some what normal.

[Ultima]

I thought I was more than normal, almost superior.... which I actively was battling against.... hrm,

So I am not the only one!

[Tacoline]

i noticed it first in rumors and hints along the grapevine in my middle school. i ignored it because i was busy being with friends and doing school work. my friends were nerds (as am i) so to us it didn't matter as much. to me it seemed as if everyone else was going slightly insane. then it struck my friends and i thought to myself that puberty must be horrible if it makes you do that type of stuff. and i don't want that.

then when i did hit puberty, i was very late, but nothing changed in the sense that i still felt no attraction. so for a while i assumed that i might be a lesbian, but i still felt no attraction.

my friends didn't ask questions because i was the same as i had always been. but i felt off, like everyone else knew this awesome inside joke that i couldn't get. i still feel that way, but at least i know i'm not broken.

i think that's the best metaphor to describe it: everyone else seems to be aware of this inside joke that you just don't get. no matter what you do you wont get the joke, the joke isn't even worth your time anyway.

it's not even that funny.

[Skycaptain]

I somehow managed to get to 42 totally oblivious to the fact that the whole concept of sex held no interest to me whatsoever. All my family had deduced that I was an Ace, but were too polite to even mention the subject in my presence.

[Savato]

I've never really concerned myself with "being normal" or anything of the sort.

While I tend to analyze who I am, I don't care whether this lines up with society's expectations.

I've always just focussed on being me, so I never found myself believing that there might be something wrong with me.

[h_langley]

I was too abnormal in other ways to worry about me being normal sexually XD

[Lady Girl]

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

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