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corrupt the wish above.


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Granted. It's a mess making troll that leaves ITS smelly clothes in your house when it does laundry.

 

I wish humanity could collectively learn from its mistakes.

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted, but now your ideas Waifu is leaving you, and wants a divorce, which stands to be pretty pricey...

 

I wish I could dance, and didn't have two left feet!

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Granted, but you are condemned to dance for all eternity. Like in the fairy tale The Red Shoes, if you know it.

 

I wish someone would do my English essay for me.

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Granted. They have no idea who to speek engrish thoh.

 

I wish for a pizza with LOTS of cheese.

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted; you have cheesy feet pizza... And there is a LOT of cheese on those feet.

 

I wish I had a better memory.

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Granted but now you have headaches because you remember too much information.

 

I wish I was slightly more tolerant to pain.

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted; you can tolerate more pain because you have a higher pain threshold, but you go into shock really quickly.

 

I wish for mint icecream!

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted, but its a counterfeit dollar, so its only use it decorative.

 

I wish my bra would stop digging in.

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Granted. The bra is oversized and falls off.

 

I wish my parents were less demanding of absolute perfection.

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Granted. Now they demand relative perfection, but you cannot figure out the relative standpoint from which they are judging perfection, which turns out to be even worse. 

 

I wish I could take a day to chill and lay around listening to the soft sounds of the world around me.

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granted but now you are partly deaf in order to make this quieter

 

I wish my teacher wasn't so irritating....

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Granted, but now all of your classmates are just as bad as she was.

 

I wish I could just get over this cold already so I can stop sniffling...

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted; after two tubs of Icecream, three chick flicks and several hours of break up songs, you are finally over the sniffles, and are now looking to pick up other available viruses.

 

I wish the firing range near my home was closed, so they'd be quiet.

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Granted, but the sound remains stuck in your head.

 

I wish for a new pair of shoes.

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plasticapollos

Granted. I'm sure that lucky kid in Africa will love them!

 

I wish I was a taaaad taller!

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Granted. You are now a tadpole that is taller than most other tadpoles.

 

I wish my houseplant would germinate.

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

Granted, but your plant would only germinate on the condition that you would bud. Happy budding!

 

I wish writers would stop writing out all the characters I like from their series.

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Semiterrestrial Scientist

Granted. It is 40 feet tall. 

 

I wish I understood geometry proofs better.

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Granted, but you have no way to show others your understanding.

 

I wish my mom would want to play a game tonight.

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Granted. You have two tiny ducks sticking out of your nostrils, making it hard to breathe.

 

I wish no one was ever hurt by natural disasters.

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Granted. Only three times more in your life are you allowed to duck when objects come flying at you. After that, you have no choice but to get hit.

 

I wish that "I wish for four ducks" would not be skit's next wish.

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Granted, but they are superglued to your body.

 

I wish that I knew every word in the English language. 

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Granted but you are required to write each word in the English language a hundred times using purple crayon to be able to be eligible for a full scholarship to the college of your choice along with a lifetime supply of free cappuccinos from Starbucks.

 

For mine I'll take chocolate-covered strawberries.

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