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#AsexualProblems


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So my best friend is in her first relationship with a girl (after her recent realization that she is bi) and it isnā€™t exactly a healthy relationship (they fight almost everyday). Sheā€™s always complaining to me about the red flags and complications with her girlfriend but itā€™s hard to be sympathetic when I try to give her advice and she ignores it. I honestly think they should break up considering it has caused my friend a tremendous amount of emotional damage. Iā€™m running out of advice to give her and patience šŸ˜‚. Theyā€™ve only been dating for 2 MONTHS and she already says that she would would never recover from this breakup! I guess this is why Iā€™m asexual cause I donā€™t understand this logic šŸ˜­.Ā 

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Having to explain your orientation and them saying it's because you don't have experience or because you don't know how to do it :) #AsexualProblems

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Disneyplusandchill
On 11/22/2023 at 8:32 AM, em_new_ace said:

So my best friend is in her first relationship with a girl (after her recent realization that she is bi) and it isnā€™t exactly a healthy relationship (they fight almost everyday). Sheā€™s always complaining to me about the red flags and complications with her girlfriend but itā€™s hard to be sympathetic when I try to give her advice and she ignores it. I honestly think they should break up considering it has caused my friend a tremendous amount of emotional damage. Iā€™m running out of advice to give her and patience šŸ˜‚. Theyā€™ve only been dating for 2 MONTHS and she already says that she would would never recover from this breakup! I guess this is why Iā€™m asexual cause I donā€™t understand this logic šŸ˜­.Ā 

I don't think that's just an ace thing necessarily, though it may contribute. I do know some allo people who would also find that quite concerning/frustrating, though they could perhaps relate more to having strong feelings about a partner.Ā 

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14 hours ago, Oko said:

Me: "I don't need sex"

People: "Whaaat?Ā šŸ˜ÆĀ How you can live? It's not possible!"

WTF?

People can live without sex. There are many examples. Nuns and priests, homosexuals who have to remain celibate and stay in the closet, because of socialĀ stigma in most of the world, and there are many other examples.
Impotent men is an interesting category.

They constitute a significant percentage at every age, and certainly over 60 years of age). Not sure we can learn how many, but there are many causes. I would be interested to see all the different causes of complete erectile failure. For example, men with diabetes, many men over 60, men taking a myriad of medications (such as BP, and urinary flowĀ meds. Many men and women have a loss of libido, as well as physical dysfunction from anti-depressant meds.Ā Ā Ā 

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10 minutes ago, jay williams said:

People can live without sex. There are many examples. Nuns and priests, homosexuals who have to remain celibate and stay in the closet, because of socialĀ stigma in most of the world, and there are many other examples.
Impotent men is an interesting category.

They constitute a significant percentage at every age, and certainly over 60 years of age). Not sure we can learn how many, but there are many causes. I would be interested to see all the different causes of complete erectile failure. For example, men with diabetes, many men over 60, men taking a myriad of medications (such as BP, and urinary flowĀ meds. Many men and women have a loss of libido, as well as physical dysfunction from anti-depressant meds.Ā Ā Ā 

Yes, right. But many people feel like they would die without sex.

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WanderingForests

When your mom thinks all sexual relationships (gay, pan, bi, straight, etc) are valid beside asexual because 'you can't have a loving relation without sex.' #AsexualProblems

Ā 

When no one wants to date a person who won't want to do dirty stuff with them #AseuxalProblems

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PrincessJellybean

ā€œYouā€™re asexual, all you want is garlic bread and cake! Hehe you are so innocent šŸ˜‡ā€ makes me RAGE

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Autumn ace

I saw a commercial today and didnā€™t realize the sexual innuendo at the end of it until my parents started talking about itĀ 

Ā 

It apparently wasnā€™t subtle, but I didnā€™t even think about it until someone pointed it out (and honestly, I wish Iā€™d never known)Ā 

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MysteriousDaringWolf

Looking at the lyrics of Rebel Yell by Billy Idol and realizing it's about sex.

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oops_eddie
On 1/3/2024 at 2:42 PM, PrincessJellybean said:

ā€œYouā€™re asexual, all you want is garlic bread and cake! Hehe you are so innocent šŸ˜‡ā€ makes me RAGE

God, THIS. I don't want to hide who I am but then when I come out to some people they start treating me like an innocent little child. I'm not sex-repulsed or anything, either. I just don't want to be involved in it. But just because I'm asexual it's: "Hehe *says inappropriate joke* sorry, you won't get it you're so innocent" or "don't talk about that sort of thing around eddie, she wont get it or it'll make her uncomfortable" HUHHHHH???!!!

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em_new_ace

Does anyone else ever feel like being ace has made you more ā€œmature for your ageā€ ? Maybe itā€™s just me but whenever friends come to me for advice, even relationship advice, Iā€™m seen as the wise elder who knows better?! šŸ˜­

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Blueberry Pie
On 1/2/2024 at 11:12 PM, PrincessJellybean said:

ā€œYouā€™re asexual, all you want is garlic bread and cake! Hehe you are so innocent šŸ˜‡ā€ makes me RAGE

I hate that one.

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DemonicEnby

And when you tell dirtier sex jokes or explain an obscure fetish someone just heard the name of you can't be asexual coz how'd you know that?Ā 

Ā 

Get's annoying fast as well

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notaliveoravailable

I'm a newb, but people keep telling meĀ "you'll change your mindĀ when you're older." THAT ANDĀ "This isn't normal."

It's a classic... šŸ™„

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Disneyplusandchill
On 1/20/2024 at 11:25 AM, em_new_ace said:

Does anyone else ever feel like being ace has made you more ā€œmature for your ageā€ ? Maybe itā€™s just me but whenever friends come to me for advice, even relationship advice, Iā€™m seen as the wise elder who knows better?! šŸ˜­

Literally same. I think it's because, not always understandingĀ everythingĀ intuitively (especially romance/sex), I've done EXTENSIVE research on healthy relationships: familial, platonic, and particularly romanticĀ and sexual. And now I know more than most allo people do about these relationships, at least in theory

Edited by Disneyplusandchill
Slight clarification/elaboration
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Snao Cone

A friend of mine had some guy on Facebook they haven't talked to for several years message them just saying that "I have been hurt by you and your fundamentalism" and "Aces aren't a thing" yadda yadda yadda. Like they're the token asexual this guy knew and when he's in a bad mood he decides to send them a message like this. šŸ™„

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SpaceDustbin
On 2/4/2024 at 7:10 PM, Snao Cone said:

A friend of mine had some guy on Facebook they haven't talked to for several years message them just saying that "I have been hurt by you and your fundamentalism" and "Aces aren't a thing" yadda yadda yadda. Like they're the token asexual this guy knew and when he's in a bad mood he decides to send them a message like this. šŸ™„

Oh wow. He really took the time and effort to specifically target that person - you'd think that if he'd wanted to vent, he could just as easily have tweeted/xeeted that kind of stuff into the void, but apparently that's not personal enoughĀ 

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rainbowocollie

Being out as lesbian and kinda out as ace as well, but people always assuming I'm allosexual anyway

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Snao Cone
57 minutes ago, SpaceDustbin said:

Oh wow. He really took the time and effort to specifically target that person - you'd think that if he'd wanted to vent, he could just as easily have tweeted/xeeted that kind of stuff into the void, but apparently that's not personal enoughĀ 

Nah, had to harass someone directly to reach a sufficient level of asshole, I guess ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ

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MammuthusPrimigenius

Mini rant:

I was accused of being cold towards a friend of a friend who is very open (borderline bragging) about her sexual conquests. But I always find that once I say Iā€™m not dating or interested in anyone the conversation just dies. Iā€™ve learned to just not participate in those conversations. All my life people have been calling me frigid. Iā€™m not frigid. Iā€™m just uncomfortable.Ā 

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DriftingAimlessly

I really hate the word frigid but have learned that people using it most likely won't stop.

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Real Estate RICO

Reflecting on how our "allies" got giddy when Nick fucking Fuentes designated himself as an "asexual incel" and realizing that's exactly what they think of us.

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Yellow Rue
On 2/18/2024 at 10:04 AM, Real Estate RICO said:

Reflecting on how our "allies" got giddy when Nick fucking Fuentes designated himself as an "asexual incel" and realizing that's exactly what they think of us.

Nick Fuentes, an anti-semitic, white supremacist, self-proclaimed incel... is now asexual. I couldn't find a clip of him calling himself asexual and I'm glad for it. Last thing we need is incels of all people here, when we already have so many people who love sex. Still, moment of truth for those "allies".

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Real Estate RICO
On 2/25/2024 at 3:17 PM, Yellow Rue said:

Nick Fuentes, an anti-semitic, white supremacist, self-proclaimed incel... is now asexual. I couldn't find a clip of him calling himself asexual and I'm glad for it. Last thing we need is incels of all people here, when we already have so many people who love sex. Still, moment of truth for those "allies".

Same "allies" who want to call men they don't like or respect "gay" or "sassy" because they're too cowardly to use the actual slurs.

Ā 

There's a reason why I have such a dim view of "allies" at this point, especially ones who designate themselves as that without anything to back it up aside from not using slurs anymore.

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Squirrel Combat

Sometimes I make a joke or comment and midway through the thought I realize it's a sex innuendo šŸ„“.

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Neighbours have sex at 4am and the whole block of flats can hear them.

I say they're annoying and I don't want to listen to them.

Some people: "You just envy, because they have sex and you don't!"

OMG, I just want to sleep!šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

Maybe this isn't just asexual problem.

Ā 

Luckily, now I live on another place...

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Others like me
On 8/7/2023 at 1:30 PM, Imjusthere said:

Whenever you can get turned on yet never want to do anything and you spend every day just constantly wondering if youā€™re really ace or all. I constantly question everything despite literally learning that Iā€™m aegosexual, and Iā€™ve never once thought ā€œI wanna have s3x when I look at someoneā€. Itā€™s like 90% of microlabels fit, while also missing a part of the picture. Itā€™s like Iā€™m aego, adax, and quiro (etc.) yet I have no idea what sticks. I constantly think about the feeling behind that rather than the intent (of which I have none) and I constantly consider 3rd person fantasy to equal attraction. Despite that I canā€™t name a single person irl that Iā€™d ever want to do that with, and that makes me think I might be fray or something, yet Iā€™m still not sure if itā€™s attraction before then at all. Welcome to the hell of questioning constantly because youā€™re in the grey area.

You have just summed up my experience better than I ever could tbh. Reading your words brought me comfort. So thank you.
Ā 

The grey area really does suck to be in sometimes because Iā€™m certain Iā€™m somewhere on this ace spectrum but where exactly seems impossible to pinpoint. Iā€™m 22, a constant over thinker, and I have never had a real bf or sex. And sometimes that makes this whole grey area more difficult. despite the fact that Iā€™ve never found someone Iā€™ve wanted to enact my fantasies with, nor do I have a desire to enact my fantasies idk,Ā there is always that ā€œwhat ifā€ in the back of my mind. It isĀ a lot easier to definitively say you are something,Ā than to label yourself due to something that is ā€œmissingā€. Had I not realized that people look at another person and think lomg I want to have sex with that someoneā€ I would not have realized that IĀ was queer lol.Ā 
Ā 

Something that has provided me with a little bit of solace has been trying to not identify by a label and more by an experience. Iā€™m queer and for me that box has sufficed. When I explain that Iā€™m a grey ace to others, I instead stray away from that label and instead like to explain how I feel in relation to sex and sexual attraction. I have found that forgoing that very specific label has made the grey area that I currently sit in (and May forever sit in) less frustrating.Ā 

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My parents consistently asking if I have a boy friend and then when I donā€™t answer because Iā€™m uncomfortable, they then add in: ā€œor girlfriendā€¦ā€Ā at their attempt to be inclusive.Ā 
Ā 

Asexuality not even being thought of when I tell someone Iā€™m queer šŸ˜¤#ace problemsĀ 

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