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& I'm a heretic

#AsexualProblems

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VinnyCrow

Seeing too many people talk about the "tossed salad" thing and deciding to go ahead and look it up even before reaching the comment about how the urge is higher the more you're told not to. Assumed it wouldn't be so bad, only to end up unable to breathe and then laughing because there is no other way to cope.

Notice that you're hungry after this. Eat something that happens to give you an odd after taste. Can't stop thinking of the "tossed salad" mental image. Laughing worsens.

#AsexualProblems

EDIT: Proceed to show your grey-A friend this thread. She looks up tossed salad despite you warning her not to. Laughing and crying overtakes both of you.

Start to wonder more about "doggy style" and debate looking it up. So far you've pictured it as someone wearing dog pajamas with a hood that has floppy ears. You have a feeling that in actuality it has something to do with butts.

#AsexualProblems

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trumpetchick

Don't know if this has already been here, but...

"I think I'm going to be asexual. I've had so many problems with my love life that being asexual just has to be the only choice." #asexualproblems

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Smudge1985

Proper lolled at the tossed salad reference! :-D I seem to be in the minority that while I'm not interested in sex, I'm surrounded by it enough that I can still make jokes about it and know all the innuendos! I think its just because I love how creative innuendos are, its amazing how many different ways we can think of to say the same thing!

Mate of mine is a total perv and a group of us somehow got into a conversation about how much of a perv he was. Someone pointed out that he has a wank every day. He defended himself before yelling 'are you girls telling me you've never tossed your salad?' Proper crying with laughter!

When speaking with a member of the opposite sex, all your friends slink away with excited grins on their faces as if you are going to jump each others bones the second your friends stop watching! #AsexualProblems

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Quintus Crinis

So grateful I went on an orchestra tour with a conductor constantly making innuendos - fortunately he made a "tossed salad" joke.

I regretted letting my curiosity ask the questions "you don't want to know the answer to" at the time, but at least I understand it now and don't run the risk of curiosity taking me to Google images (or similar). :)

I just hope I've been generally curious enough while trying to rationalise my feelings under homo-/hetero-/bi-sexuality and hopefully understand enough not to let curiosity lead me away from verbal explanations - which seem so much easier to cope with than visual explanations. :)


Spending years of your life ignoring the obvious answer to the question of sexuality and agonising over none of the options making sense. #AsexualProblems

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Fiddler's_Green

"You would rather do other things instead of having sex with a sexy lady even if there were no repercussions? You must be gay right?" #asexualproblems

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Méshie Péshie

Seeing too many people talk about the "tossed salad" thing and deciding to go ahead and look it up even before reaching the comment about how the urge is higher the more you're told not to. Assumed it wouldn't be so bad, only to end up unable to breathe and then laughing because there is no other way to cope.

Notice that you're hungry after this. Eat something that happens to give you an odd after taste. Can't stop thinking of the "tossed salad" mental image. Laughing worsens.

#AsexualProblems

EDIT: Proceed to show your grey-A friend this thread. She looks up tossed salad despite you warning her not to. Laughing and crying overtakes both of you.

Start to wonder more about "doggy style" and debate looking it up. So far you've pictured it as someone wearing dog pajamas with a hood that has floppy ears. You have a feeling that in actuality it has something to do with butts.

#AsexualProblems

OMG I'M GOING TO DIE LAUGHING FROM THIS!!!!!! I looked it up, every time anything on tossed salad came up I laughed understanding their pain, but THIS!! THIS beats them ALLL. Goodbye cruel sexual world..!

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Kittenz23

This hot girl won't stop hitting on me... #asexualproblems

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Smudge1985

Your friends swap sex stories and you have nothing to share when it's your turn. #AsexualProblems

One weekend a year ago, me and my two best friends at the time all had 'dates', so got together on Monday night to discuss what happened. One of them had her new boyfriend come to stay for the weekend and she took great pleasure in telling us how they never left the house for 2 days and how many times they had sex in 2 days. One of the others had her boyfriend come to visit, they did the whole dinner and cinema thing, then got a room in a hotel and took great pleasure in telling us how many times they had sex. I went out with a guy Id met on a dating site, spent an hour or two talking about Italian horror films, then after he tried to kiss me when I went home, decided I didnt want to see him again. That sheer difference summed up in one weekend!

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SirenDragon

Going through well over two decades since puberty trying to find a label that does a half-ways decent job describing you. #AsexualProblems

Offering a friend a tossed salad and seeing a stupid grin appear on her face .... Of course, I meant a literal tossed salad, how was I to know they turned something so innocent into sexual innuendo ?

I don't get it. #Asexual problems

I made the mistake to google it. You probably don't want to know. #SchmuckBait

Now I want to google it more!

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TheJaneWay

Going through well over two decades since puberty trying to find a label that does a half-ways decent job describing you. #AsexualProblems

Offering a friend a tossed salad and seeing a stupid grin appear on her face .... Of course, I meant a literal tossed salad, how was I to know they turned something so innocent into sexual innuendo ?

I don't get it. #Asexual problems
I made the mistake to google it. You probably don't want to know. #SchmuckBait

Now I want to google it more!

You think you want to now, but give it .0005 of a second after you do... ;)

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Leftithian

People not believing that you're asexual because you actually do get the sex jokes, thanks to spending too much time with your dirty friends.

Your friend not believing you're asexual when you tell him it's the reason you won't date him, and he thinks you're just brushing him off.

People wondering why you get antsy when your friends talk about who they had sex with, because you really don't want to hear about it.

Having your family say you can't have an opinion on abortion because you've never had sex so you couldn't know the stress.

Wow that became depressing pretty fast.

My bad, I feel like this was supposed to be a lighter topic. OTL

Apologies.

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TheJaneWay

Complaining because a friend of the opposite gender hit on you again and then having to explain that no, really, you don't like it, because all your other friends think you're bragging. #AsexualProblems

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die_nachbarn

I'm now scared because I don't know the code-word for tossed salat in my native language #AsexualProblems

(although I get most sex jokes)

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physace

When your mother gives you the "When you'll have kids of your own you'll understand".

And you rage inside while getting away as soon as possible.

#AsexualProblems

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Valex

Stop going to certain places cause someone likes you there or someone makes you uncomfortable. Then be on the lookout for said person everywhere you go for the remainder of your life.

#ParanoidAsexualProblems

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K!m

Watching anime and seeing unexpected boob bounces and ecchi. #AsexualProblems

Also,

Watching Elfen Lied and preferring the gore over the nudity. #AsexualProblems

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Soraiko

Being completely shocked and a little disturbed when you find out the people you know have had sex

(That's really something I never really wanted to know) #AsexualProblems

EDIT: "Nerds or geeks?" are strangely open about all the sex they're having. Ewwww. Or at least the ones I know. Gross.

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Mezzo Forte

Is that really a problem? I wish more people were too lazy to explain their sexual orientation. Actually I wish everyone would just stop giving a shit about people's sexual orientation.

I did say it was forced, didn't I? :P Being asexual doesn't really give me problems, especially since the topic never comes up offline for me. I think people just assume I'm straight and don't bother me about it.

The closest thing I've had was aromantic-related, and I couldn't even blame them since I didn't really give any context to my statement:

"I'd gladly marry my work one day!"

"Aw, that's so sad! I'm sure you'll find someone eventually!"

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Quintus Crinis

Your friends burn calories during their pleasures. You gain them during yours. :cake: #AsexualProblems

I solve this one by going on long walks - especially carrying shopping uphill or generally in the countryside/local parks.

sudden strong cuddling urge #asexualproblems

Rather glad I'm not the only one who finds this - really annoys my family though. :(

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TheJaneWay

Finding that the worst thing about university life is not the hordes of drunk people invading your flat, as you had expected, as having no one you know well enough to cuddle with beats it back to a close second. I'm not even joking; I never realised it was possible to crave cuddles before this point. #AsexualProblems

Because that one is SO asexual. There are plenty of parties I could go to if I wanted to have sex. But a simple hug? I miss my friend :( She understood... Unfortunately she is also at the other side of the country, so.

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Valex

Watching anime and seeing unexpected boob bounces and ecchi. #AsexualProblems

Also,

Watching Elfen Lied and preferring the gore over the nudity. #AsexualProblems

Haha! I know both feelings quite well. One of my favorite series,Cutey Honey,is a prime example. Love the story,action,but she turns into a half naked warrior every time she transforms. It cracks me up every time lol One anime I have called Plastic Little actually has a jiggle counter option!!

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Smudge1985

Watching sex scenes very closely. Not because you're getting off to it, but the sheer mechanics of it baffles you #AsexualProblems

Watching a film with your parents and then trying not to observe the mechanics of the sex scene and look completely disinterested so your mum doesn't think you're a perv #AsexualProblems

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Anhamirak

wanting to have kids but not wanting to HAVE kids #asexualproblems

Adoption? Artificial insemination? Surrogacy? Or you could just hire someone to club you on the head with a 2x4 after the...HAVING...in the hopes that it will cause amnesia.

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.diva plavalaguna.

Being the only single friend out of all your girl-friends.

Having to listen to at least one conversation about marriage, engagement, or somebody's bf/gf in every. fucking. class.

Getting stuck behind a couple holding hands and walking very slowly in front of you.

Getting teased by whole family about your "secret boyfriend." =___= Yes, the reason I say I'm not seeing anyone is because I'm hiding him. Makes LOADS of sense. =_______=;;;

"You don't like kids?!"

"I can't believe you're single!"

"Quit being so picky!"

#AsexualProblems

:mad:

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SirenDragon

Reading the #AsexualProblems thread and realising you haven't laughed so much since your friend asked what you were going to call your children...

lol

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SirenDragon

Going through well over two decades since puberty trying to find a label that does a half-ways decent job describing you. #AsexualProblems

Offering a friend a tossed salad and seeing a stupid grin appear on her face .... Of course, I meant a literal tossed salad, how was I to know they turned something so innocent into sexual innuendo ?

I don't get it. #Asexual problems
I made the mistake to google it. You probably don't want to know. #SchmuckBait

Now I want to google it more!

You think you want to now, but give it .0005 of a second after you do... ;)

I googled it, and it wasn't all that bad. I do wonder how anyone could have come up with the term 'tossed salad' for it, though, and I also wonder why someone would have the urge to do that.

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TheJaneWay
I also wonder why someone would have the urge to do that.

Precisely my reaction. Well, actually my reaction was also a bit disgusted. But mostly just confused..

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