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#AsexualProblems


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@Fantastic Name I think they know on some level that their attitudes about sex are wrong and they feel guilty, but they don't own up to it. There's this movie called Showgirls about show business (obviously) and it has a lot of really over-the-top sexual content. Most people are disgusted by that movie (and it was the director's intention for it to be disgusting because he makes films about corruption), but it's hypocritical of them because of how society is about sex.

 

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Ugh holidays....cue the "My standards are too high/I just can meet the right woman" phrases. 

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Just wait till Feb- then it's 

Spoiler

sex education

*runs around screaming* 

"Why do I need to know this stuff?!?!?! It's not like I'm going to do it! (My kids will be adopted)"

 

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Hermit Advocate
4 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Just wait till Feb- then it's 

Don't forget about all of the Valentine's day pressure to have a relationship (and presumably have valentine's day sex) with someone. 

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Fantastic Name
7 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Don't forget about all of the Valentine's day pressure to have a relationship (and presumably have valentine's day sex) with someone. 

But I find it's worth all the pressure because almost every store sells their excess chocolate at half price the next day. :P

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12 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Just wait till Feb- then it's 

  Reveal hidden contents

sex education

*runs around screaming* 

"Why do I need to know this stuff?!?!?! It's not like I'm going to do it! (My kids will be adopted)"

 

Because some day you will have dumb friends that need reality checks.

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44 minutes ago, Fantastic Name said:

But I find it's worth all the pressure because almost every store sells their excess chocolate at half price the next day. :P

My favourite holiday: Feb 15 1/2 price chocolate day!

 

For those wanting more reasons to love February: 1st Saturday is Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast day (google it)

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nerdperson777
On 12/13/2017 at 6:40 AM, Wish Bear 🌠 said:

I think it's incredibly creepy that people push other people to have children. It's like, "I want you two to have sex together to produce a baby for me." If people phrased it that way, hopefully everyone would see how creepy it is.

 

Luckily I never have people ask me if I want children or push me to have a family. I don't know why they don't harass me about it but I'm really glad they don't. Maybe it's because I look really young? I somehow just feel like social rules like that don't apply to me. I mean, they shouldn't. I'm a non-sexual being. 

 

Marriage is starting to die off with the current generation anyway. It won't be as common for people to get married and have a family in the (near?) future.

I do think there are some ace or innocent vibes.  I'm like 12 in my head so I'm doing a lot of weird kiddy behavior anyway.  I look around 14 too.  Only my clueless dad harasses me about it, because asking your then 18 year old 'daughter' where his grandchildren are is totally appropriate.

 

4 hours ago, Fantastic Name said:

But I find it's worth all the pressure because almost every store sells their excess chocolate at half price the next day. :P

I already got some Halloween candy after Halloween and I just finished them a few days ago.  That was like three pounds of chocolate.

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awkward_pterodactyl
On 9/21/2013 at 1:07 AM, Timothy P. said:

lol I'm so asexual I don't even get this. WTH is a tossed salad? and I'm afraid of googling it lol

Ugh I did Google it.... regret.... 

 

On problems, "ooh! You've been hanging out with (x) person a lot lately. I think she likes you! I ship you two!" Umm, sorry, but I don't think that'll work out....

Also, getting really absorbed in a fantastic book and suddenly running into gratuitous chapters of sex. WHY? #asexualproblems

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1 hour ago, awkward_pterodactyl said:

Ugh I did Google it.... regret.... 

 

On problems, "ooh! You've been hanging out with (x) person a lot lately. I think she likes you! I ship you two!" Umm, sorry, but I don't think that'll work out....

Also, getting really absorbed in a fantastic book and suddenly running into gratuitous chapters of sex. WHY? #asexualproblems

I had an experience like that. I was reading a book by an author that I liked - it was a really great and complicated mystery - but then these sex scenes started popping up out of nowhere, and I found it really disgusting. I was reading it at the optometrist's office while I was waiting for my appointment, and one of the receptionists came over and asked me if I was okay because apparently, I looked a little nauseous. 

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Hermit Advocate
17 hours ago, Fantastic Name said:

But I find it's worth all the pressure because almost every store sells their excess chocolate at half price the next day. :P

The store where I work starts putting the valentine's day chocolate on clearance 2 days before valentines. Most of it is gone by valentines. Because logic. 

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Fantastic Name
11 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

The store where I work starts putting the valentine's day chocolate on clearance 2 days before valentines.

That's actually pretty clever.

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I don't know if this is exclusively asexual, but when you make a new friend and you just talk about them a lot because they seem cool and you hang out but you worry people will start to think you have a crush (even though we're both asexual)

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"How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?"

 

Me: "Oh yeah? How do you know you don't like eating boogers if you've never tried it?"

 

"That's nasty"

 

Me: "exactly"

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nerdperson777
7 hours ago, StormySky said:

"How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?"

 

Me: "Oh yeah? How do you know you don't like eating boogers if you've never tried it?"

 

"That's nasty"

 

Me: "exactly"

@Dodecahedron314 We need your cacti!

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Nobody to tell me that listening to audiobooks for 16 hours a day is unreasonable.

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I was doing a short internship recently, and was staying in a caravan on site, as was a young man about my age (he was in a different caravan).

Anyway he joked that "What happens in the caravan stays in the caravan" and I couldn't think of an (in)appropriate response. I don't mind playing along, just wish I'd thought of a good response.

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6 hours ago, Warsaw said:

Nobody to tell me that listening to audiobooks for 16 hours a day is unreasonable.

Well that's just love for literature :P

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Hermit Advocate
17 hours ago, GreenTune said:

Well that's just love for literature :P

Agreed.

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Friend: How many kids would you want in a future relationship?

 

Me: .None?

 

Friend: Oh, so you'll just have sex without any kids?

 

Me: No, I don't want to have sex.

 

Friend: Then you want a relationship.. but no sex?

 

Me: Right.

 

Friend: But isn't that.. kind of boring?

 

Me: Huh?? Do you really have to have it?

 

Friend: I mean, where's the fun in that if you don't?

 

(This was an actual conversation I had back when I didn't yet know that asexuality was a thing)

 

 

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Okay so recently I had my works Xmas night out. Normally these afairs are ok. This time I was late to it so fairly sober most of the night. I only really properly hit the dance floor drunk in night outs, and super drunk if at a work event (don't want my bad dancing to be office gossip). So at some point, I was talking to an colleague (who moved teams away from me) when another colleague (who moved to another team as well) sent a random colleague, who I didn't know, to grab both of us to the dance floor. She didn't listen to me saying that I was too sober to dance amd started dragging me. Luckily somebody walked inbetween us so it was enough for me to lose her grip without hurting her, and sneak away. My other colleague was still in tow so I wasn't missed.

 

Also next morning I was asked by a senior manager if I managed to pull a bird. After I replied no, another colleague asked if I pulled a guy, quoting equality for the question. I did turn that one on them saying that they themselves shot me down, clearly as a joke.

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17 hours ago, Mirari said:

Friend: How many kids would you want in a future relationship?

 

Me: .None?

 

Friend: Oh, so you'll just have sex without any kids?

 

Me: No, I don't want to have sex.

 

Friend: Then you want a relationship.. but no sex?

 

Me: Right.

 

Friend: But isn't that.. kind of boring?

 

Me: Huh?? Do you really have to have it?

 

Friend: I mean, where's the fun in that if you don't?

 

(This was an actual conversation I had back when I didn't yet know that asexuality was a thing)

 

 

Wow, that's just sad

I mean, I partly understand, because I was straight most of my life before I became ace, but I've always seen sex as a bonus of a relationship, a thing that comes into existence in a relationship that's ready fun.

Sexual people have just this desire to be more passionate in that way, they feel the need for expressing their love through physical contact, so that's why some of them, who don't understand asexuality would say that a relationship without sex is "boring", because they just see it as not expressing love between partners and it just seems like a cold and distant relationship to them, it's a natural thing.

Though the way that person phrased it makes it look really really sad.

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Fantastic Name
On 12/22/2017 at 1:48 AM, GreenTune said:

Sexual people have just this desire to be more passionate in that way, they feel the need for expressing their love through physical contact, so that's why some of them, who don't understand asexuality would say that a relationship without sex is "boring", because they just see it as not expressing love between partners and it just seems like a cold and distant relationship to them, it's a natural thing.

Going off on a tangent here: I have a need to express love through physical contact, too. Without physical contact, I would find a relationship to be "boring" in the same way. It's just that cuddling and similar activities have these sexual connotations attached to them, and I'm afraid of being misunderstood and having the other person interpret my cuddling as sorta "asking" for sex. I'm sure there are other aces out there that feel the same way. It's hard.

 

Ironically, I'm a very touch-averse person.

Edited by Fantastic Name
awkward wording
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4 minutes ago, Fantastic Name said:

Going off on a tangent here: I have a need to express love through physical contact, too. Without physical contact, I would find a relationship to be "boring" in the same way. It's just that cuddling and similar activities have sexual connotations. I'm afraid of being misunderstood, and I'm sure many other aces feel the same way. It's hard.

 

Ironically, I'm a very touch-averse person.

I can’t relate, for me, I need my own space.

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Fantastic Name

@Zenzencat104 I'm conflicted, actually. I'm touch-averse and need my own space too, but at the same time, I want physical contact. It makes no sense, but it works for me.

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3 hours ago, Fantastic Name said:

Going off on a tangent here: I have a need to express love through physical contact, too. Without physical contact, I would find a relationship to be "boring" in the same way. It's just that cuddling and similar activities have sexual connotations. I'm afraid of being misunderstood, and I'm sure many other aces feel the same way. It's hard.

 

Ironically, I'm a very touch-averse person.

Oh, I mean, yeah, obviously, me too, I love physical contact with close friends and love interests like hugging, holding hands, cuddling, even kissing, though I'm not a touch-averse person at all. But what I meant was that sexual people just feel like getting as close physically as possible with expressing their love passionately, like no boundaries, it's like being one body with their significant other. That's just sex drive for them. Just, y'know, like when they start they don't want to stop and they keep going until they cannot get any closer. That's how I remember it at least

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Family members are talking about someone in the family who's in his 40s and married like there's something wrong with him... Not looking forward to that when I get older. 

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On ‎11‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 5:00 PM, Careco said:

Apparently my problem is that I just don't make enough eye contact with other people.

 

Okay then.

That's interesting. I have been told the same. Although I know I don't make eye contact with other people, I seriously doubt that has anything to do with my asexuality

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