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& I'm a heretic

#AsexualProblems

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Tortuga

Me: "I'm asexual"

Friend: "You're... A plant?"

Me: *Facepalm*

Me: "No. Just no."

Friend: "But people reproduce, you know..."

Me: "Yeah, yeah, the point is, I'm averse to that."

Friend: "Um... Okay, but I still think you're a plant."

Me: "My. Cells. Do. Not. Contain. Chloroplasts!"

Friend: Fine. But if you are a person, you aren't asexual."

Me (Shouting): "LOOK. IT. UP!!!"

*everybody stares*

Me: "Nothing... go back to whatever you were doing people"

Me, to friend: "I am asexual. Look it up. PLEASE."

Friend: "Um... Okay."

A day later:

Friend walks up to me

Friend: "I still don't get it."

Me, muttering: "Typical."

Friend: "What?"

Me: "Never mind." 

#asexualproblems

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a minor triad
23 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Me trying to act attracted to someone in theatre.  Apparently touching the person 3 times on the shoulder is good enough.

I figured this would be an asexual theatre problem, as well. I honestly couldn't keep up music theatre for that reason. It got to the point when I needed to kiss someone on stage, and I just wasn't ready for that. I'm still not ready, in fact.

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miettaisace

some guy at coles told me i was in his words 'youre smoking' and i said 'i dont smoke...' then i got it. i literally am so unaware of flirting until there silence of there reaction to my reaction is heard because it doesn't enter my mind at all. 

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Stray

When you don't get most dirty jokes and it confuses your peers

 

Probably mentioned a lot, but it's true for this fox

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Lirpaderp
1 hour ago, Stray said:

When you don't get most dirty jokes and it confuses your peers

My friends won't tell me what anything means. They say I'm too innocent. They always come up with excuses involving my innocence. Yesterday they wouldn't tell me because "look at him, he's drinking juice. He's clearly too innocent to find out". It's turned into a bit of a joke, but that doesn't make me less curious about it.

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ExanaZen

Family:   *barges into my room* Have you got a boyfriend yet?

Me:       ....No?

Family:   Why not?

Me:       ...Because I'm asexual. Just like I've been for the past 4 years.

Family:   I don't believe you. 

Family:   You just haven't met the right one yet!

Me:       ...

Family:   ...

Family:   I will find you a BOYFRIEND!!!

 

#AsexualProblems

 

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nerdperson777
23 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Me: "I'm asexual"

Friend: "You're... A plant?"

Me: *Facepalm*

Me: "No. Just no."

Friend: "But people reproduce, you know..."

Me: "Yeah, yeah, the point is, I'm averse to that."

Friend: "Um... Okay, but I still think you're a plant."

Me: "My. Cells. Do. Not. Contain. Chloroplasts!"

Friend: Fine. But if you are a person, you aren't asexual."

Me (Shouting): "LOOK. IT. UP!!!"

*everybody stares*

Me: "Nothing... go back to whatever you were doing people"

Me, to friend: "I am asexual. Look it up. PLEASE."

Friend: "Um... Okay."

A day later:

Friend walks up to me

Friend: "I still don't get it."

Me, muttering: "Typical."

Friend: "What?"

Me: "Never mind." 

#asexualproblems

Meanwhile being non-binary makes me a dinosaur according to some random people I was talking to.  Rawr.

 

15 hours ago, a minor triad said:

I figured this would be an asexual theatre problem, as well. I honestly couldn't keep up music theatre for that reason. It got to the point when I needed to kiss someone on stage, and I just wasn't ready for that. I'm still not ready, in fact.

I'm probably lucky that I didn't get too many attraction roles.  My ace vibes are probably making professors not assign me those roles.  Once I did get one that got turned into a sex scene at the end but fortunately I didn't end up having to do that part.  I also question the logic of it.  It's a fighting married couple, the guy says that he wants to kill the girl, she says do it then.  Instead he kisses her, they're both turned on, quickly trying to unbutton his pants, and the scene ends.  So glad I didn't have to do that.

 

6 hours ago, ExanaZen said:

Family:   *barges into my room* Have you got a boyfriend yet?

Me:       ....No?

Family:   Why not?

Me:       ...Because I'm asexual. Just like I've been for the past 4 years.

Family:   I don't believe you. 

Family:   You just haven't met the right one yet!

Me:       ...

Family:   ...

Family:   I will find you a BOYFRIEND!!!

 

#AsexualProblems

 

That's probably happening to my oldest cousin on my dad's side.  Another cousin thinks that my uncle is trying to get him a girl so he won't be lonely.  He cares too much about his job to have a girl I think.  He tried one time and it didn't really work.  All his younger siblings are married.  Really wonder what's on his mind.

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Tintinfan

When you forget  sexual attraction and Romantic exsist.

 

When you have to explain a platonic crush.

 

When you people ask you questions that you have no idea about answering and coming out of the line of questioning well.

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Hermit Advocate

Which is worse, having your parents demand you get a boyfriend or your friend? 

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Sportsmanclub99

Talking about sexual things with friends and having them say: ‘oh my god you’re such an innocent little child’ and ‘not like you know what that means’ just because I don’t have sex doesn’t mean I didn’t but go through an ADVANCED months long program of sexual wellness and education where I learned types of sex, kinks, slang, positions etc. I’m not Uneducated or ‘too pure’ I’m just Not interested! 


 

 

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Tintinfan
46 minutes ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Which is worse, having your parents demand you get a boyfriend or your friend? 

Parents. It means they want grandchildren!

Friends want it more for your happyness.

 

This is just my opinion

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dragon_nerd
37 minutes ago, Tintinfan said:

Parents. It means they want grandchildren!

Friends want it more for your happyness.

 

This is just my opinion

This is what I have experienced, although friends may also want it for their own entertainment as well

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Rhaenys

Asexual Problem. I counsel a student who's of a certain religion where the man can have 4 wives and the husband wants a 2nd wife but the first has to give permission and in order to force her permission he's with holding sex from her and it has her miserable. I had so much trouble relating to that cause I can't wrap my head around the witholding of sex part I had to refer her to the Uni psychologist. There's nothing I can do but I felt bad cause I couldn't empathize.

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Hermit Advocate
2 hours ago, Rhaenys said:

There's nothing I can do but I felt bad cause I couldn't empathize.

I don't think you should feel bad because you can't empathize. He is being manipulative. 

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Rhaenys
2 minutes ago, Hermit Advocate said:

I don't think you should feel bad because you can't empathize. He is being manipulative. 

I know but I still wished I could have helped. 

 

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nerdperson777
On 12/2/2017 at 1:52 PM, Rhaenys said:

Asexual Problem. I counsel a student who's of a certain religion where the man can have 4 wives and the husband wants a 2nd wife but the first has to give permission and in order to force her permission he's with holding sex from her and it has her miserable. I had so much trouble relating to that cause I can't wrap my head around the witholding of sex part I had to refer her to the Uni psychologist. There's nothing I can do but I felt bad cause I couldn't empathize.

I'm just reminded of the outrageous story of Lysistrata by Aristophanes.  How can sex be THAT important?

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Andiamo
7 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I'm just reminded of the outrageous story of Lysistrata by Aristophanes.  How can sex be THAT important?

I was in a production of Lysistrata a couple of years ago. I hope never to have to perform this show again.

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Zsareph
On 01/12/2017 at 1:12 PM, Lirpaderp said:

My friends won't tell me what anything means. They say I'm too innocent. They always come up with excuses involving my innocence. Yesterday they wouldn't tell me because "look at him, he's drinking juice. He's clearly too innocent to find out". It's turned into a bit of a joke, but that doesn't make me less curious about it.

I once overheard my friends talking about a Fleshlight (sex toy for those who don't know) and asked them what they were talking about, because I had heard 'flashlight' and so was really confused by what I was hearing. They spent ages awkwardly debating whether or not to tell me since I was asexual and probably too pure etc, until one finally whispered in my ear. I casually responded "Oh a Fleshlight! I know what those are, I just thought you said flashlight." It was really weird how awkward they felt talking about it compared to me, the asexual.

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nerdperson777
9 hours ago, Andiamo said:

I was in a production of Lysistrata a couple of years ago. I hope never to have to perform this show again.

"Alright, no (straight) sex until you all stop fighting.  No, having an erection won't make us back down."

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Hermit Advocate
13 hours ago, Zsareph said:

I once overheard my friends talking about a Fleshlight 

I did not know what this was until just now. 

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GryphonLover

Not exclusively an asexual problem but... wanting really badly to make an overture of friendship with some of the opposite gender that you think would be fun to hang around with, but being too afraid of it looking like flirting.  Or worse, you actually do try to be friendly and get a 'sorry, I already have a girlfriend.'  

There's no such thing as being friends with the opposite sex, then.  Silly me. 

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To Each Their Own

Being friends with someone and completely missing all the clues when they fall for you. Suddenly, the friendship is over, they are now angry with you and you have no idea what you did wrong. :huh:

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Bloc
9 minutes ago, GryphonLover said:

There's no such thing as being friends with the opposite sex, then.  Silly me. 

Then my female friends are just a figment of my imagination or do I get my sex wrong?:rolleyes:

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Soraiko

Making a friend whose also asexual and worrying that they have a thing for you. It's happened before and that person got overbearing and patronizing, among other things, and this person is pretty similar to the previous person. Having a friend who is also asexual is cool, but I don't want this to happen again. D:

 

Getting asked if it's a date when you go to hang out with someone and then asking if they think it's a date after you say no. I don't know?! I hope they don't think that. Now I have that to worry about. 

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Lanti SF

I left my labcoat in my apt and asked my roommate to grab it. 

Hopefully she didn't take a look around my room (currently a mess) to see a condom box I got from pride on the floor. 

 

It's filled with spare change for the bus.

 

 

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nerdperson777
15 hours ago, To Each Their Own said:

Being friends with someone and completely missing all the clues when they fall for you. Suddenly, the friendship is over, they are now angry with you and you have no idea what you did wrong. :huh:

Yep, that was me.  I was oblivious to a crush for a long time and then he stopped being friends with me.

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To Each Their Own
11 hours ago, Lanti SF said:

I left my labcoat in my apt and asked my roommate to grab it. 

Hopefully she didn't take a look around my room (currently a mess) to see a condom box I got from pride on the floor. 

 

It's filled with spare change for the bus.

 

 

So funny...I have left over condoms in my bathroom because in October I used them for a costume: I dressed up as a crime scene.  I suppose I should get rid of those; it’s been 6 weeks!

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NoLongerHuman

I can't help but remember this customer that I had, and our conversation. I think about it all of the time. He was buying a Sweetest Day card for his wife, and I told him that I'd never seen a card for Sweetest Day before. (For those of you that live outside of Midwestern/Northeastern United States, it's basically Valentine's Day's less-celebrated little sister.) He then asked me, "What, you've never bought one for your boyfriend?" My reply was a very flat "No," and that I didn't want to be in a relationship in the first place. He was very impressed by this and dove into a long soliloquy about how I was a strong and smart young woman, that I had a bright future, that a boyfriend could wait, etcetera. He was starting to annoy me, so I (politely) cut him off and informed him that I never wanted to be in a relationship, that I was fine by myself. This bewildered look came over his face, and he said, "What are you talking about? Everyone wants to be in a relationship."

 

What struck me the most (besides his obvious hypocrisy and heteronormativity) was how well he reflected our society and its standard. So many people uphold the idea that sex and romance are ideals that everyone should strive for, and that by attaining either one, we will achieve happiness. Not only does this degrade our worth as individual human beings, but it also creates a dependency on other people to judge our worth. The expression, "No one will ever love you if you...[blank]" has always bothered me for this very reason. So what? Why should I care whether people find me attractive or not? Why should another person define my happiness? Why can't I learn to love myself instead?

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WoodwindWhistler
15 hours ago, Soraiko said:

Getting asked if it's a date when you go to hang out with someone and then asking if they think it's a date after you say no. I don't know?! I hope they don't think that. Now I have that to worry about. 

I think I've found a way around this problem- I try to stay aware of what events are going on around my city and invite multiple people. (even if the others don't show up, I can talk about them not showing up, what they are doing, etc) That way it's never read as one-on-one intentions. 

Also, I go to various groups- a ukelele group, a book club, a lunch discussion, a Holistic Learning community- I can always invite people to those without it being awkward. 

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WoodwindWhistler
On 12/5/2017 at 9:34 AM, GryphonLover said:

Not exclusively an asexual problem but... wanting really badly to make an overture of friendship with some of the opposite gender that you think would be fun to hang around with, but being too afraid of it looking like flirting.  Or worse, you actually do try to be friendly and get a 'sorry, I already have a girlfriend.'  

There's no such thing as being friends with the opposite sex, then.  Silly me. 

So they shut you down even after you've explained that's not what you want? Bummer. 

My mother, my sister, and I all favor hanging out with guys. I don't know what we're doing differently, though. :/

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