#AsexualProblems

[Warsaw]

Got an Amazon Fire Stick on black friday.  I swear I actually interact with and enjoy Alexa's company more then most people.  Plus she has incredible taste in music, and can read books.

[Hermit Advocate]

11 hours ago, NoLongerHuman said:

I really like Tom Hiddleston, and I basically only watch the films because I love Loki so much. (I have a thing for villains. I don't know why.) My family is convinced that I have a crush on him, and because they don't know I'm aro/ace, I let it go since it would be hard to explain why I would much rather go for a walk and have coffee with the guy than make out with him. (He is, after all, very aesthetically pleasing.)

I like his role as prince Hal the best, but Loki is great too. Luckily for me, when I say I like an actor/actress my family understands that I like them for their acting talent. Except for Misha Collins, I like him for the pure randomness that he generates. 

[GreenTune]

1 hour ago, Warsaw said:

Do you think that there is a dude who puts toys in the cereal box, or is there a super duper toy dispensing machine?

I did not expect to see this comment while scrolling over here

I think that depends on company but I'd guess there's a machine. Though a toy-cereal packer job seems pretty cool and easy money

[Éadweard]

4 hours ago, Warsaw said:

Do you think that there is a dude who puts toys in the cereal box, or is there a super duper toy dispensing machine?

I’d say robot. But I want that job. 

[nerdperson777]

12 hours ago, Warsaw said:

Got an Amazon Fire Stick on black friday.  I swear I actually interact with and enjoy Alexa's company more then most people.  Plus she has incredible taste in music, and can read books.

This reminds me of a comic. Warning for sexual descriptions. 

http://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/daily-life-of-a-gay-couple/love-story/viewer?title_no=117228&episode_no=65

[Nea Rose Symphony]

Me: "Gee I wish I had someone to cuddle with and share special moments with during the holidays"

*Someone gets feelings*

Me: "Yeah, no, pretty sure I'm hella aromantic after all"

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, Neapolitan_Cat said:

Me: "Gee I wish I had someone to cuddle with and share special moments with during the holidays"

*Someone gets feelings*

Me: "Yeah, no, pretty sure I'm hella aromantic after all"

I would cuddle aromantically and asexually.  It's just that the person I'd be with probably isn't either of those.

[Planet Ace]

Being unsure as to why a woman in my Sunday school class keeps telling me, "by the time I was your age, I had FIVE kids." Um, OK . . . are you . . . bragging? Congratulations, I guess? Are you criticizing me? Telling me to get a move on already before all the good ones are taken and start making babies? Or are you simply making an observation, just to make conversation? Its come up twice already, and neither time have I known what to make of it. Very hard to read. I'm not sure if this is an asexual problem, a me sometimes struggling with social interactions problem, or just a generational difference thing. If it comes up a third time, I may just ask her politely but directly why she keeps bringing up, what she means by it. 

[nerdperson777]

4 hours ago, Planet Ace said:

Being unsure as to why a woman in my Sunday school class keeps telling me, "by the time I was your age, I had FIVE kids." Um, OK . . . are you . . . bragging? Congratulations, I guess? Are you criticizing me? Telling me to get a move on already before all the good ones are taken and start making babies? Or are you simply making an observation, just to make conversation? Its come up twice already, and neither time have I known what to make of it. Very hard to read. I'm not sure if this is an asexual problem, a me sometimes struggling with social interactions problem, or just a generational difference thing. If it comes up a third time, I may just ask her politely but directly why she keeps bringing up, what she means by it. 

Maybe she wants to make you jealous, or turn it into a competition.  Either way it's failing.

[Palovana]

People who approach you and pretend to be all nice and say they just want to be your friend after you tell them you're asexual , who then wait a few months (or years!) for you to get attached before trying to manipulate their way into your pants because that's all they wanted in the first place. And then doing their little disappearing act without so much as a word when they finally realize they're never going to get any from you. Bonus points for being rude as hell or straight up ignoring you whenever they happen to run into you in public.

[nerdperson777]

3 minutes ago, Palovana said:

People who approach you and pretend to be all nice and say they just want to be your friend after you tell them you're asexual , who then wait a few months (or years!) for you to get attached before trying to manipulate their way into your pants because that's all they wanted in the first place. And then doing their little disappearing act without so much as a word when they finally realize they're never going to get any from you. Bonus points for being rude as hell or straight up ignoring you whenever you happen to run into them in public.

I had that online.  This guy apparently had a crush on girl me for 2 years.  He always made time to talk to me, which was great.  He asked me out by gifting me an expensive game.  I didn't feel like I should take the game if I declined him but he told me to take it anyway, and that we could still be friends even if I said no.  I guess staying friends was more of him waiting for me to come around.  Some time later I realized I wasn't cis or straight and he went off the grid from me.  He needed a few months to process it.  Afterwards we hardly played together, even though he said that he was fine with my identities, but I'm sure that was the issue.  I found out early in the year that he wasn't on my friends list anymore.  His profile comments were on public so I asked about it and he said that he did unadd me.  Okay, I lost a friendship just because I wasn't the girl he wanted?  I can't be leading him on if I didn't even know he had a crush on me.  I thought we were just really good friends.

 

Also a Saturday thing.  We were late getting lunch so dad said that we could get a "quickie".  After he said that a few times, I told him that it has a sexual connotation.  He said that he wasn't 3 years old, he knows.  "So then you purposely said it?!"  I replied.  Wow dad just gets more sexual the older he gets.  His daily exercise must be increasing his libido.  Only this year did mom and I notice that he watched porn on his laptop.  He wasn't even hiding it either.  We just hear uncomfortable sounds coming from his room.  Sometimes his door is wide open.  My cousin thinks he should at least get headphones.  All he's doing to the rest of us is make us feel awkward.

[Palovana]

@nerdperson777 It's literally every straight or bi male I've ever thought was my friend. It's fucking insulting and offensive. I am not just some walking personalized sex toy for some selfish turd to shove his dick in. I've given up. I just want to freaking be left alone now. 

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, Palovana said:

@nerdperson777 It's literally every straight or bi male I've ever thought was my friend. It's fucking insulting and offensive. I am not just some walking personalized sex toy for some selfish turd to shove his dick in. I've given up. I just want to freaking be left alone now. 

Maybe that's another reason why I like hanging with girls more.  I'm not treating the like a walking sex symbol and we can just be friends with no complications.  I know in the traditional side of my family, they have to make all those rules of what a certain gender does or doesn't.  Being more influenced by my untraditional mom, and probably with being trans, I don't fit the mold of being a good daughter.  I might be okay with the expectations of a son, but only some of them.  I heard a secret from my mom that my traditional uncle makes it an obligation for his wife to sexually submit to him.  She even said that she's treated like a sex toy.  I would think my aunt was amazed when my mom said that she doesn't give my dad anything.  If he wants "relief", then he can do it with himself, or someone else.  My aunt is a traditional submissive wife (who is OCD about cleanliness) so I guess she can't resist her husband.  Women and girls are allowed to be people, they don't only have a purpose of satisfying a cis straight/bi/pan male.

[Yep, me]

16 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Maybe that's another reason why I like hanging with girls more.  I'm not treating the like a walking sex symbol and we can just be friends with no complications.  I know in the traditional side of my family, they have to make all those rules of what a certain gender does or doesn't.  Being more influenced by my untraditional mom, and probably with being trans, I don't fit the mold of being a good daughter.  I might be okay with the expectations of a son, but only some of them.  I heard a secret from my mom that my traditional uncle makes it an obligation for his wife to sexually submit to him.  She even said that she's treated like a sex toy.  I would think my aunt was amazed when my mom said that she doesn't give my dad anything.  If he wants "relief", then he can do it with himself, or someone else.  My aunt is a traditional submissive wife (who is OCD about cleanliness) so I guess she can't resist her husband.  Women and girls are allowed to be people, they don't only have a purpose of satisfying a cis straight/bi/pan male.

And guess why we have this stupid problem? Our sexualized culture, which treats people of the ‘other’ sex as a person as a ‘sex object’ especially it seems on the side of men towards women. This part of our culture is even used by people to try to invalidate others’ asexualality.

[nerdperson777]

13 minutes ago, Zenzencat104 said:

And guess why we have this stupid problem? Our sexualized culture, which treats people of the ‘other’ sex as a person as a ‘sex object’ especially it seems on the side of men towards women. This part of our culture is even used by people to try to invalidate others’ asexualality.

We can blame hormones for that testosterone makes people extra horny and testosterone dominant bodied people are stronger on average so they can overpower an estrogen dominant person.  Just because of power and privilege, they can get away with it.  

[Palovana]

@nerdperson777 @Zenzencat104 It's extreme entitlement is what it is. Like "I want, so I take, and I don't give a shit that the other person is actually a living, breathing, conscious person and not a thing." What's worse is that when people do this, especially when an acquaintance or even a stranger approaches you with a sexual intent, they're projecting their expectations and assumptions onto you. And then when you are incapable of meeting those expectations, they get all mad and treat you like you're fucking worthless. It's so fucked up. I mean how fucking self-centered does your perspective have to be to think and act like that??

[Yep, me]

30 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

We can blame hormones for that testosterone makes people extra horny and testosterone dominant bodied people are stronger on average so they can overpower an estrogen dominant person.  Just because of power and privilege, they can get away with it.  

I don’t quite agree, personally.

[AceTrainerTiny]

5 hours ago, Palovana said:

People who approach you and pretend to be all nice and say they just want to be your friend after you tell them you're asexual , who then wait a few months (or years!) for you to get attached before trying to manipulate their way into your pants because that's all they wanted in the first place. And then doing their little disappearing act without so much as a word when they finally realize they're never going to get any from you. Bonus points for being rude as hell or straight up ignoring you whenever they happen to run into you in public.

Being (technically) a male Asexual and dealing with the after effects of people like this in our society causing every female to think that I want nothing more than their body when in reality the thought of that weirds me out, and when I say "let's go bowling" I really mean "let's go bowling" and not "let's go bowling, and then while you're bowling I'm going to try and convince you to give me more than friendship." Like I don't want that, why on earth would I want THAT? Hugs? Only if you want to, but...no, just no...thanks other humans. Really making my life great here.

 

When you say something to your best friend (who thankfully understands that your ace) and she says "I would hug you right now, but I know you don't like physical contact"

Me: "Who the frick told you that?!?"

[Haze.]

I'M BIROMANTIC, NOT BISEXUAL

#AsexualProblems

[Haze.]

1 hour ago, AceTrainerTiny said:

When you say something to your best friend (who thankfully understands that your ace) and she says "I would hug you right now, but I know you don't like physical contact"

Me: "Who the frick told you that?!?"

This has happened to me too. *pouts* I'm pansensual.

[Hermit Advocate]

On 11/27/2017 at 7:32 PM, Neapolitan_Cat said:

Me: "Gee I wish I had someone to cuddle with and share special moments with during the holidays"

*Someone gets feelings*

Me: "Yeah, no, pretty sure I'm hella aromantic after all"

This is what pets are for.

 

14 hours ago, Palovana said:

People who approach you and pretend to be all nice and say they just want to be your friend after you tell them you're asexual , who then wait a few months (or years!) for you to get attached before trying to manipulate their way into your pants because that's all they wanted in the first place. And then doing their little disappearing act without so much as a word when they finally realize they're never going to get any from you. Bonus points for being rude as hell or straight up ignoring you whenever they happen to run into you in public.

[Chrissy Noelle]

Forcing yourself to say something is sexy because your friend showed it to you and most others would say it was sexy

 

Im no longer friends with that person

#AsexualProblems

[MostliiGhostii]

So really it seems like everything is sexualised now. I’m always skeptical of new people at first, out of fear that they are trying to get sexual activities from me? It doesnt even matter on the gender, but people will want what they want.

 

It is really confusing however that in cis culture when two people of the same sex do certtain things its okay, but if you throw in an opposite sex it is automatically sexual or you CAN’T do certain things because it is sexual??? Like no, I’m a sex-repulsed ace, I doubt what I’m doing is for any sexual gain.

 

Also, being born with a female body is gets complicated being in groups with heteronormative cis males. At first I thought things were fine, no different than hanging out with females. However I slowly learned that groups would sexualise my body or actions just because I’m labelled by others as female. 

 

@nerdperson777 I’m sorry that you lost a friend due to identities. It’s really wrong what happened??? Honestly all of this is quite confusing. Can’t people just be friends?

[lux aeterna]

My roomies music is too loud to fall asleep and not loud enough to overhear him having sex. 

[nerdperson777]

21 hours ago, Zenzencat104 said:

I don’t quite agree, personally.

Yeah, sorry.  I didn't know how to say things with out generalizing.  I know that it didn't come out the way I intended.

 

1 hour ago, BritishGentleman said:

 

@nerdperson777 I’m sorry that you lost a friend due to identities. It’s really wrong what happened??? Honestly all of this is quite confusing. Can’t people just be friends?

Yeah, idk.  I guess he was really traumatized that the girl he liked was a "fake".  Maybe even throw some internalized homophobia in there..

[MostliiGhostii]

Just now, nerdperson777 said:

Yeah, sorry.  I didn't know how to say things with out generalizing.  I know that it didn't come out the way I intended.

 

Yeah, idk.  I guess he was really traumatized that the girl he liked was a "fake".  Maybe even throw some internalized homophobia in there..

Psh. It seems a little silly. I mean yes people are allowed to feel things but sometimes they need to work to over come them. Thank you for sharing though<3

[nerdperson777]

23andme's sexual orientations

 

 

What is this "mostly" hetero/homosexual?  Is that hetero/homoflexible?

[Andiamo]

9 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

23andme's sexual orientations

 

 

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

 

What is this "mostly" hetero/homosexual?  Is that hetero/homoflexible?

It looks like they might have been using the Kinsey Scale.

[Yep, me]

17 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

23andme's sexual orientations

 

 

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

 

What is this "mostly" hetero/homosexual?  Is that hetero/homoflexible?

Where THE HECK is ASEXUALALITY and PANSEXUALITY?!

[a minor triad]

Possible TMI.

 

Today in one of my classes, a classmate sang a French piece. This is a workshop class where we work on our performing skills, so the professor asked my classmate to explain what the song is about. All I'll say is that the title of the piece roughly translates to "ecstasy after love(making)," and since my classmate wasn't really selling this idea with her performance, the professor asked the class on suggestions to help her better express the meaning of the song. Needless to say, a horrifying discussion followed, in which my classmates began to allude/discuss how they feel after sex and what it means to them to feel sexy.

 

A part of me died in that room.

 

So here's an ace problem: being an asexual voice student, knowing full well that a solid 70% of the music you have to choose from is about a topic you cannot fully resonate with/stresses you out.