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This is gonna feel like such a rant but thats because it is. So in my friends group every one has some significant other and while this is not inherently an issue it casued me to feel a little isolated. as we dont hang out as large groups anymore as much. All the people with significant others hang out with them alot which once again is expected but it leads to a situation where everyone is with there SO and im sitting at home being sad on doing nothing.

 

Sorry if this is very first world problem and dosent make alot of sense 😁

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3 hours ago, _mattfm said:

This is gonna feel like such a rant but thats because it is. So in my friends group every one has some significant other and while this is not inherently an issue it casued me to feel a little isolated. as we dont hang out as large groups anymore as much. All the people with significant others hang out with them alot which once again is expected but it leads to a situation where everyone is with there SO and im sitting at home being sad on doing nothing.

 

Sorry if this is very first world problem and dosent make alot of sense 😁

This has exactly happened to me during first year in high school!

Prior that year, I had a bunch of friends but then new schoolyear came and boem!

All my friends got either new friends and stopped hanging out with me, they met their soulmate and forgot I existed or they got into a fight between themselves and never told me about it.

During breaks, I sat with friends and their soulmates. Man, I felt so I isolated and lonely.

At first, I tried a couple of times to get my friends attention, they then remembered I existed. I get to talk to them for a few seconds and then their soulmates take all the attention back. Afterwards I just gave up trying to get my friends attention and kept quiet about it.

I also tried sitting with friends who got new friends, but I never got along with them.

 

At the present, a friend lost their soulmate so I took the chance to rub their face with guilt by saying "thanks for forgetting me during that year"

 

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Searching cake on the internet and being sad you can't eat any of it because it's digital. :c

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Hermit Advocate
4 hours ago, _mattfm said:

This is gonna feel like such a rant but thats because it is. So in my friends group every one has some significant other and while this is not inherently an issue it casued me to feel a little isolated. as we dont hang out as large groups anymore as much. All the people with significant others hang out with them alot which once again is expected but it leads to a situation where everyone is with there SO and im sitting at home being sad on doing nothing.

 

Sorry if this is very first world problem and dosent make alot of sense 😁

I had this issue with my sister when she was dating her ex. I barely saw her for four years and when she was around she was still glued to her ex's side. It hurts to be ignored. 

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EmotionalAndroid
On 11/10/2017 at 9:27 AM, lux aeterna said:

did you ever watchatypical on netflix?

No, I haven't. I don't have Netflix, and I have heard negative things about the show. Why?

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AVEN changing its operating protocols overnight, so now if, on mobile you double click the "like" it removes the like instead of registering it

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Just now, Skycaptain said:

AVEN changing its operating protocols overnight, so now if, on mobile you double click the "like" it removes the like instead of registering it

Thank you! I thought I was crazy. Some minutes ago I liked a posting at lest 5 times before it stuck.

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Recently at school there was a girl who came up to me and asked me about homework, I didn‘t think much of it until my friend came up to me and asked if there was something going on and if I‘m interested which annoyed me quite a bit since he probably just asked that because we have the opposite gender.

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1 hour ago, Gorogor said:

Recently at school there was a girl who came up to me and asked me about homework, I didn‘t think much of it until my friend came up to me and asked if there was something going on and if I‘m interested which annoyed me quite a bit since he probably just asked that because we have the opposite gender.

Same, I talked to this classmate sometimes at my old school and immediately the rest of my class assumed I had a crush on that person because they thought we were flirting.

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Yeah, my mother is also much more interested when I talk about persons who in her opinion have the opposite gender of me, no matter why I talk about them. 

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Just now, Ankh-Morpork said:

Yeah, my mother is also much more interested when I talk about persons who in her opinion have the opposite gender of me, no matter why I talk about them. 

I found that getting past the "just out of school age" has really helped with my parents perception of this. I have many male friends, many female friends. It's no longer "why don't you have a boyfriend, you know so many boys" it's more just "how are your mates?"

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@mousebrown: That's cool. It helped with mine too and my mother doesn't ask such questions anymore, but it's still obvious that she's more interested in my friends (or other persons I mention) if they use female pronouns or a female name.

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4 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

@mousebrown I love that "i get my kicks about the waistline" sentence! 8)

 

It's from a rather corny musical my friend showed me and I was like, yeah that pretty much covers it haha

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@Ankh-Morpork

 

True that, It's tough to shake.

 

Do you also purposely try to  keep the gender vague when telling a story? I do this to make a point that the person's actions are the point of what I'm saying, rather than it ending in "ooh a boy, are you interested?" 

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2 minutes ago, mousebrown said:

Do you also purposely try to  keep the gender vague when telling a story? I do this to make a point that the person's actions are the point of what I'm saying, rather than it ending in "ooh a boy, are you interested?" 

Unfortunately German is much more gendered than English (words like friend or aquaintance have different endings for male and female persons), so it's harder to do that without raising suspicion that you're doing it on purpose. (It's also harder to use such words for nonbinary folks.)

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nerdperson777
7 minutes ago, mousebrown said:

@Ankh-Morpork

 

True that, It's tough to shake.

 

Do you also purposely try to  keep the gender vague when telling a story? I do this to make a point that the person's actions are the point of what I'm saying, rather than it ending in "ooh a boy, are you interested?" 

I know I do sometimes, because the gender isn't really relevant in what I'm mentioning, but it's kind of hard for to try calling them they all the time when that's not their usual pronoun.

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Break down in front of someone who immediately asks you "Is everything okay with your love life ?" 

 

My answer : "yes (???)" - note the question marks

What was going on in my head : "Love life ? What is he talking 'bout ? Shit, didn't think of that - do I even have to get a love life, seriously ?"

 

I didn't lie altogether - my love life is perfect because I don't have any.

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Hermit Advocate
11 hours ago, Mirae said:

"Is everything okay with your love life ?" 

My answer is yes. My love life is non-existent, just the way I like it.  

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14 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

Unfortunately German is much more gendered than English (words like friend or aquaintance have different endings for male and female persons), so it's harder to do that without raising suspicion that you're doing it on purpose. (It's also harder to use such words for nonbinary folks.)

I know that problem. In English class, I love using "they" when I don't know a person's pronouns/gender. (Sadly, my friend and I are pretty much the only ones doing that.) In German, I really want to use they sometimes, but there is nor equivalent! It's terrible.

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3 minutes ago, Tintenfeder said:

In English class, I love using "they" when I don't know a person's pronouns/gender.

Yeah, that's really great. Unfortunately my English teacher didn't know the singular "they", so I didn't know either until I started to read Linux manual pages.

 

5 minutes ago, Tintenfeder said:

In German, I really want to use they sometimes, but there is nor equivalent! It's terrible.

The Austrian variant is even worse. We even use definite articles for names, so "I met Alex today" would be "Ich habe heute den*die Alex getroffen". I never heard that in Germany outside of Bavaria, though.

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10 minutes ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

The Austrian variant is even worse. We even use definite articles for names, so "I met Alex today" would be "Ich habe heute den*die Alex getroffen". I never heard that in Germany outside of Bavaria, though.

I don't know about the rest of Germany, but yes, we do that in Bavaria, sadly. For me, it has started to sound really weird some time ago, because I read a lot and definite articles are mostly used when speaking, not in written language. I try to avoid it.

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11 minutes ago, Tintenfeder said:

and definite articles are mostly used when speaking, not in written language. I try to avoid it.

Same here and I try to avoid it, too. But it still doesn't feel natural. I guess I need some time to get used to it.

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I told my friend that two students were renting some rooms in me and my parents house.

He immediatley asked me if they are “hot“ and I just had no idea how to respond.

 

And in 7th grade there was always this girl who ironically stated that I was hot if I did certain things (that a sexual person might do to attract others) on accident (just my hypothesis I don‘t really know if that was the reason). When she would ask me I had no idea how to respond and as time went by it started annoying me so whenever she asked I would just reply with “No I‘m pretty sure my body temperature is normal“ she got annoyed by that and stopped soon afterwards.

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nerdperson777
7 hours ago, Gorogor said:

I told my friend that two students were renting some rooms in me and my parents house.

He immediatley asked me if they are “hot“ and I just had no idea how to respond.

 

And in 7th grade there was always this girl who ironically stated that I was hot if I did certain things (that a sexual person might do to attract others) on accident (just my hypothesis I don‘t really know if that was the reason). When she would ask me I had no idea how to respond and as time went by it started annoying me so whenever she asked I would just reply with “No I‘m pretty sure my body temperature is normal“ she got annoyed by that and stopped soon afterwards.

This is why I end up using warm over hot because I don't want people to get the wrong idea.

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8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

This is why I end up using warm over hot because I don't want people to get the wrong idea.

I know your problem, and: In German "warm" is a slur for gay, so I couldn't even avoid it that way.

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3 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

I know your problem, and: In German "warm" is a slur for gay, so I couldn't even avoid it that way.

"Warmer bruder", you are right, i forgot about that.

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8 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

I know your problem, and: In German "warm" is a slur for gay, so I couldn't even avoid it that way.

What?! I apparently managed to miss that one during my years in Germany. Or is it only in Austria?

It makes me wonder just how much stuff is going over my head here in Belgium too.

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@miau It's not an Austrian only thing, but I guess it's not that common anymore because 1. it's less accepted to say homophobic things and 2. English slur words became more popular. It depends of the age of your peer group, too.

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