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#AsexualProblems


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Riding the bus, and the two people in front of me start making out. 

 

First it was all smoochy smooch, his hand goes under her shirt, cuddle, lovey dovey, gag-inducing wub-wub.

 

Guys, really?!

 

Was I happy to get off at my stop, before it escalated any more.

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arekathevampyre
4 minutes ago, Feys&Florets said:

Riding the bus, and the two people in front of me start making out. 

 

First it was all smoochy smooch, his hand goes under her shirt, cuddle, lovey dovey, gag-inducing wub-wub.

 

Guys, really?!

 

Was I happy to get off at my stop, before it escalated any more.

happens everyday when I take the train (eww) 

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2 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said:

happens everyday when I take the train (eww) 

For all the times I've ridden the bus, this was a first for me. x.x

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arekathevampyre
4 minutes ago, Feys&Florets said:

For all the times I've ridden the bus, this was a first for me. x.x

wow that is intense for a first time !! 

*hugs* 

I hope your eyes are okay . 

Mine burn when I see these stuff :D

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1 minute ago, arekathevampyre said:

wow that is intense for a first time !! 

*hugs* 

I hope your eyes are okay . 

Mine burn when I see these stuff :D

I'll live. XD Thankfully I was sitting next to the window so I could avert my gaze to the passing cars instead.

 

(Although I was very tempted to yell, "Get a room!")

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arekathevampyre
Just now, Feys&Florets said:

I'll live. XD Thankfully I was sitting next to the window so I could avert my gaze to the passing cars instead.

great to know !! :)

 

Has been a long time since I took the bus :)

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1 hour ago, Feys&Florets said:

Riding the bus, and the two people in front of me start making out. 

 

First it was all smoochy smooch, his hand goes under her shirt, cuddle, lovey dovey, gag-inducing wub-wub.

 

Guys, really?!

 

Was I happy to get off at my stop, before it escalated any more.

oh my last two years of high school (my two fellow classmates) *cringing*

his hand untied something under her shirt.

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8 minutes ago, Crayvon said:

oh my last two years of high school (my two fellow classmates) *cringing*

his hand untied something under her shirt.

I once sat in a bus and people next to me started making out and the guy twisted her nipples so hard, I was like: OH MY GOD DOESN'T THAT HURT LIKE HELL?!

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People unwilling and totally deaf, blind to the idea that a strong, platonic relationship can happen between people from the opposite gender.

 

Makes me go totally :mad::twisted::mad:

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6 hours ago, lux aeterna said:

I once sat in a bus and people next to me started making out and the guy twisted her nipples so hard, I was like: OH MY GOD DOESN'T THAT HURT LIKE HELL?!

Just imagining that makes me cringe and cover my boobs.

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2 minutes ago, NoLongerHuman said:

Just imagining that makes me cringe and cover my boobs.

Same.

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13 hours ago, lux aeterna said:

I once sat in a bus and people next to me started making out and the guy twisted her nipples so hard, I was like: OH MY GOD DOESN'T THAT HURT LIKE HELL?!

 

7 hours ago, NoLongerHuman said:

Just imagining that makes me cringe and cover my boobs.

It’s just cringy in general 😖 Like, have some shame plez. You don’t need to broadcast your horniness to every single bystander. In the immortal words of Professor Oak, “There’s a time and place for everything, but not now.” 😖 I know people enjoy PDA, but some...actions should be reserved for your private time. 

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When you understand all of the sexual jokes they're tossing around, and someone finally asks you if you're really asexual. #asexualproblems

Telling your mother that you're asexual, and she replies with, "I used to think that way too.  I was too shy to even consider doing such a thing and way too self conscious about myself." #asexualproblems

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AceTrainerTiny

When you're given a compliment such as "you're cute" and don't know how to respond so you just sit there and smile and laugh and try to think of a response while failing miserably #AroAceProblems

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AceTrainerTiny

When someone isn't Ace says, and I quote "I don't see the need for the connection between love and sex. Two that don't love each other can have sex, and just because two people are in love doesn't mean that they need to have sex." #ASEXUALWIN

YES! FINALLY! YES!

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Mom: Hey, so the other day I saw this guy wearing a black ring like yours. Looks your age.

 

Me: *sudden interest* really?!

 

Mom: Yeah, he was wearing it on his ring finger.

 

Me: *heart drop* Oh....mom, it doesn't mean 'ace' if it's not on the middle finger. It actually means something...completely different.

 

Mom: So not a potential boyfriend?

 

Me: ...probably not.

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nerdperson777
4 hours ago, AceTrainerTiny said:

When you're given a compliment such as "you're cute" and don't know how to respond so you just sit there and smile and laugh and try to think of a response while failing miserably #AroAceProblems

My reaction tends to be *pause for several seconds*, bland "thanks", and moves on in the conversation.

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AceTrainerTiny
2 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

My reaction tends to be *pause for several seconds*, bland "thanks", and moves on in the conversation.

Yeah I'll probably end up like that too eventually, but this was really the first time anyone tried hitting on me and I had absolutely NO IDEA what to do. Yes come to find out, they were hitting on me. That was an awkward conversation.

 

When you need to shut down someone who talks like their fine with you being Aro/Ace but tries to push you to try and be anything but, and have no idea how to respond and almost end up/end up ruining the relationship because you're getting annoyed #AsexualProblems #AroAceProblems #IWishPeopleWouldJustStop

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Being a female ace who loves the marvel films and when saying your favourite character is Thor: "you only like him because he's hot right?" #aceproblems

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5 hours ago, AceTrainerTiny said:

When you're given a compliment such as "you're cute" and don't know how to respond so you just sit there and smile and laugh and try to think of a response while failing miserably #AroAceProblems

I just say thanks and move on. But you do know it’s not about you when someone does this, don’t you? They’re actually fishing for a similar complement from you about them. 

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AceTrainerTiny

"It’s said there once was a butterfly that was searching for love. One day he came upon another beautiful butterfly and it was love at first site. But the butterfly soon realized that his love remained perfectly still on top of a flower. His beloved never moved a single inch. Even so he continued to woo his love day and night, while his life slowly slipped away from him. The butterfly eventually ran out of strength and fell to the ground. Meanwhile his love’s wings fluttered in the wind. Although his beloved looked like another butterfly, turns out it was in fact a flower. A Cleome that simply stood there with it’s petals swaying in the breeze…" 

This being used to describe you just because you refuse to/can't talk or think dirty to/about a person, and it ruining what seemed like a very good platonic (possibly semi-romantic) relationship...

Go figure, I get called a plant in the most adorable way possible (story time)

Someone who you very much enjoyed talking to no longer wanting to talk to you because of something stupid like not wanting to talk about having sex because it makes you uncomfortable #SadAceProblems

Wanting a relationship with someone because you want a hand to hold and someone who's always there to talk to/cuddle, but not WANTING a relationship in any "conventional/practical" use of the phrase #AroAceProblems

Being a male Ace and mostly having all female friends, and dealing with the "He's in love with her/ wants to..." when in reality you just want friends but guys tend to be massive douches when it comes to telling people that you're ace and politely asking if they'll stop talking about their private lives #AceProblems

Being too lazy to Identify as Agender because people make a big deal about it, so just saying "I guess I'm male, but you can use whatever pronoun you want because I don't care" (Maybe not agender, but like, gender indifferent?) #It'sReallyNotWorthTheIntolerance #CallMeAnytingYouWantBesidesSexy

Having too many posts on Ace Problems in a span of 24 hours #ConfusedAceProblems

 

Also hi, I know this is like my 4th post but I'm relatively new to the AVEN community and it's so nice to know that there's a group of people who can truly sympathize with me/I can sympathize with. I've know I was Ace for nearly 4 years now, but just recently came to accept myself as such.

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4 minutes ago, AceTrainerTiny said:

Being a male Ace and mostly having all female friends, and dealing with the "He's in love with her/ wants to..."

Ah I know this, just in reverse. One of my best friends is male and we constantly have people assume we are going out, or want to at least. I went to a theme park with my friend and mentioned how another friend (who is also male) wanted me to come round and watch a movie sometime. This guy in front of us in the queue turned around to my friend and was like "Be careful of your girl when she says she's just going round to his for 'netflix and chill'". I did eventually mention we aren't dating. The guy then gave my friend advice for picking up women, like going into a gay bar and then just be like "Oh I'm willing to experiment" if you see an attractive woman. I just kinda died on the inside as this guy talked of all the sexual side of picking up women

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AceTrainerTiny
49 minutes ago, Bexa said:

Ah I know this, just in reverse. One of my best friends is male and we constantly have people assume we are going out, or want to at least. I went to a theme park with my friend and mentioned how another friend (who is also male) wanted me to come round and watch a movie sometime. This guy in front of us in the queue turned around to my friend and was like "Be careful of your girl when she says she's just going round to his for 'netflix and chill'". I did eventually mention we aren't dating. The guy then gave my friend advice for picking up women, like going into a gay bar and then just be like "Oh I'm willing to experiment" if you see an attractive woman. I just kinda died on the inside as this guy talked of all the sexual side of picking up women

Ah geez that really sucks. This came up because I was in class with my friend who's like a little sister to me and this annoying freshman made the comment "Don't send that to him because he wants to..." well I'm not finishing the statement but you get the idea. I told him I was going to stick his head into a wood chipper if he didn't stop. That shut him up, apparently people don't like when you have a whole list of creative ways to kill people at the ready in case they make sexual jokes about you. It's really annoying being male in high school seeing as how everyone thinks you want to "get with" every girl you walk past to the point that you can't say hi to someone without getting looks from people who don't understand what it means to be ace. I've been told it'll be different in college and am hopeful but not confident. I'm just very glad that my friend accepts AND understands who I am to the point where I can actually look at her when someone make a dumb comment and tell that she is thinking the same thing I am, and would gladly help me hang said person from the Eiffel Tower by their ankles with finely crocheted fishing line.

 

The thought of someone trying to give me advice on "how to pick up chicks" seriously weirds me out. I think I would shut down all mental capacity and stop existing if someone tried to include me in a sexual conversation :mellow: I mean it's hard enough trying to function and tune it out, I can't imagine if it was directed towards me where I was expected to give input.

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AceTrainerTiny

When you tell someone you're ace and they insist on explaining to you how that's impossible and everyone must want sex in one way or another. #NoJustStop

Spoiler

 

When people can't grasp the concept of asexuality, and you finally just give up #FineYouKnowMeBetterThanMyself

Spoiler

 

When you need to touch up the pain on your ace ring, because you're waiting to find a nice one, but can't bear the feeling of not wearing it #AceRingIssues

When people ask "why do you wear that black ring," and you get both excited because someone wants to know, and anxious because you feel you're going to ruin a friendship #ItsNotWeirdItsJustMe

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On 11/26/2017 at 2:56 AM, AceTrainerTiny said:

When you're given a compliment such as "you're cute" and don't know how to respond so you just sit there and smile and laugh and try to think of a response while failing miserably #AroAceProblems

That happened to me at work once. This guy asked about iPhone chargers, so I was leading him over to a display when all of a sudden he said, "Wow, you're cute." I thought he was joking so I laughed and brushed it off, but then he asked, "Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want to go see a movie?" and I just stared at him like a dead fish.

 

(Eventually, I mustered up the strength to tell him no.)

 

On 11/26/2017 at 7:55 AM, emilyb103 said:

Being a female ace who loves the marvel films and when saying your favourite character is Thor: "you only like him because he's hot right?" #aceproblems

I really like Tom Hiddleston, and I basically only watch the films because I love Loki so much. (I have a thing for villains. I don't know why.) My family is convinced that I have a crush on him, and because they don't know I'm aro/ace, I let it go since it would be hard to explain why I would much rather go for a walk and have coffee with the guy than make out with him. (He is, after all, very aesthetically pleasing.)

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AceTrainerTiny
5 minutes ago, NoLongerHuman said:

That happened to me at work once. This guy asked about iPhone chargers, so I was leading him over to a display when all of a sudden he said, "Wow, you're cute". I thought he was joking so I laughed and brushed it off, but then he asked, "Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want to go see a movie?" and I just stared at him like a dead fish.

 

(Eventually, I mustered up the strength to tell him no.)

Oh gosh I can not fathom someone trying to ask me out like that. I'm really oblivious when it comes to stuff like that too, so what would probably that scenario would look like for me -

*Having a conversation with someone about something I somewhat care about*

Person: Hey are you seeing anyone?

Me: Nope *continues to carry on the conversation*

Person: Do you want to go bowling or something this weekend?

Me: Sure, I'm not doing anything anyways

*weekend comes and halfway through bowling or whatever person tries acting on their asking me on a date that I was oblivious to*

Me: Um... I'm sorry... What? No... I'm sorry, but just... no...

Person: You agreed to go on a date with me and everything though! I thought you liked me as much as I like you!

Me: *awkwardly laughs* I agreed because you seem like a cool person to be around and I really like bowling. I'm sorry, I don't really like people that way. I'm really sorry <insert name here> (and thus friendship is ruined)

 

I imagine that's how people asking me out would work, and yet I want to be with someone to hold their hand and cuddle and explore the world. My friends say I want a "best friend for life" which I suppose is a reasonable way to describe it, but like I'm not opposed to romance or anything, I just don't want sex, heck I don't really like kissing #TooConfusedToBeConfused #MyLifeIsIrony #AroAceIssues

 

Also what exactly is aesthetic attraction? like I can look at people and think that they are pretty but that's about all I get from looking at people. I just appreciate faces, nothing more. Is that different from being aesthetically attracted to someone?

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nerdperson777
8 hours ago, NoLongerHuman said:

I really like Tom Hiddleston, and I basically only watch the films because I love Loki so much. (I have a thing for villains. I don't know why.) My family is convinced that I have a crush on him, and because they don't know I'm aro/ace, I let it go since it would be hard to explain why I would much rather go for a walk and have coffee with the guy than make out with him. (He is, after all, very aesthetically pleasing.)

My ace friend sent me the video of Tom Hiddleston with the Cookie Monster learning delayed gratification and one of the top comments is that only Hiddleston can make eating cookies look sexy.  This is not something I understand.

 

8 hours ago, AceTrainerTiny said:

I imagine that's how people asking me out would work, and yet I want to be with someone to hold their hand and cuddle and explore the world. My friends say I want a "best friend for life" which I suppose is a reasonable way to describe it, but like I'm not opposed to romance or anything, I just don't want sex, heck I don't really like kissing #TooConfusedToBeConfused #MyLifeIsIrony #AroAceIssues

 

Also what exactly is aesthetic attraction? like I can look at people and think that they are pretty but that's about all I get from looking at people. I just appreciate faces, nothing more. Is that different from being aesthetically attracted to someone?

Yep, that's what I'm looking for.

 

I'm guessing from the one time (I think) I experienced aesthetic attraction, I would know what it is.  But really all other times I'm just okay, this is [object], how am I supposed to feel something good about it based on appearance?  They're all what they are.  How do I feel something about that?  At the same time, lack of friends make me feel for inanimate objects.  I don't want to throw things away because I can hurt their nonexistent feelings.

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Do you think that there is a dude who puts toys in the cereal box, or is there a super duper toy dispensing machine?

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