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#AsexualProblems


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28 minutes ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

@miau It's not an Austrian only thing, but I guess it's not that common anymore because 1. it's less accepted to say homophobic things and 2. English slur words became more popular. It depends of the age of your peer group, too.

Hm, I don't remember meeting anyone openly homophobic while in Germany. People at uni were more open minded, I suppose. On the other hand I tend to ignore people and conversations I don't find interesting, so I may have just completely ignored any a*holes and their vocabulary. :) 

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1 hour ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

@miau It's not an Austrian only thing, but I guess it's not that common anymore because 1. it's less accepted to say homophobic things and 2. English slur words became more popular. It depends of the age of your peer group, too.

"Warmer Bruder" sounds really old fashioned. I expect only 60+ people  would use it. Younger homophobes use different slurs.

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@miau @Bloc I mostly heard it in my school in the 90s / early 00s and without "Bruder". Today I mostly hear it from right wing politicans ("Wir machen Politik für die Ärmsten der Armen und nicht für die Wärmsten der Warmen" - "We do politics for the poorest of the poor and not for the $insert_slur_here"

 

The last time I heard "Warmer Bruder" it was a pun on gay catholic priests.

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1 minute ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

Today I mostly hear it from right wing politicans

Ah. You should have started with that. It explains a lot.

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17 minutes ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

@miau @Bloc I mostly heard it in my school in the 90s / early 00s and without "Bruder". Today I mostly hear it from right wing politicans ("Wir machen Politik für die Ärmsten der Armen und nicht für die Wärmsten der Warmen" - "We do politics for the poorest of the poor and not for the $insert_slur_here"

 

The last time I heard "Warmer Bruder" it was a pun on gay catholic priests.

Maybe there is a difference between Austria and Germany. I am not familiar with the use in Austria. In Germany "schwul" (gay) is used as a generic insult in schools or to say you don't like something, which is definitely homophobic.

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27 minutes ago, Bloc said:

In Germany "schwul" (gay) is used as a generic insult in schools or to say you don't like something, which is definitely homophobic.

Yes, it's the same here. But if you want to insult a specific person you use other words.

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Me: "So, I'm Asexual"

Someone else: "How can you say you don't like or want sex if you've never had it?"

#Asexualproblems

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On 10/19/2017 at 12:58 AM, Hermit Advocate said:

This reminds me of "Netflix and chill." Why can't it just mean what it says and not get turned into an innuendo? I may as well stop talking to people because who knows if what I'm saying is actually a code phrase for sex. 

I took that expression very literally for a long time; I thought "Netflix and chill" actually meant sitting at home and watching Netflix. That was why when I said, "I don't have Netflix, but I can still chill" to a group of hormonal teenagers, I was very confused when they all of a sudden burst out laughing.

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When I was in high school (before I realized I was aro/ace), I had a boyfriend. He made sexual suggestions toward me, and I immediately shut him down, because the idea of having sex with him freaked me out. When I vented to some of my friends about it, their response was something along the lines of, “You don’t want to have sex with him? Then why are you dating him?” I don’t know, because he seemed like a cool guy? Because he liked Led Zeppelin? Because I thought he could be a person to go to the movies and talk to and joke around with? The idea of sex literally never crossed my mind, and yet that seemed to be the only thing that everyone else was focusing on.
 

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On 13.11.2017 at 11:35 AM, Ankh-Morpork said:

The Austrian variant is even worse. We even use definite articles for names, so "I met Alex today" would be "Ich habe heute den*die Alex getroffen". I never heard that in Germany outside of Bavaria, though.

We do it in Baden-Württemberg, too.

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1 minute ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

Ah ... so it's more like north vs south?

I suppose so. Alles südlich vom Brezeläquator...

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26 minutes ago, Julian of Norwich said:

I suppose so. Alles südlich vom Brezeläquator...

:D we don't say that here anymore in the Ruhrgebiet. But in the 90's.

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nerdperson777

There is a part 3 to my "functional" conversation.  In the car, I was telling my friend about how suggestive my car charger looks.  She takes hers out and shows me, saying that they all look like that.  I had to cut myself off again in my reply.  "Well mine's bigg....no I'm not going there again."  She had a small compact one.  I didn't get to tell her that I had a big black one.

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At school, there were two men in a wheel chair. They came to tell how it's like to live in a wheel chair for the rest of their lives.

Afterwards, the students could interview them. Of all the questions they could ask, the first question was ''How do you do it? I mean reproducing children if you wish to have some?"

One of the men said he has children so that why someone asked but really? is that so important? Is that all you care about?

It's like the first thing you ask to someone who just now barely survived an accident: " Can you still make children??" instead of "are you okay??"

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WoodwindWhistler
On 11/17/2017 at 9:30 AM, Nyx Hikari said:

Me: "So, I'm Asexual"

Someone else: "How can you say you don't like or want sex if you've never had it?"

#Asexualproblems

This is actually a fascinating response, because it and others like it sort of imply that it is a common experience that is discussed to NOT actively want sex before actually having it. 

You should follow up with this person and ask them questions about their own feelings, if they were like this. They are probably female, right? We've discussed many times on here before that females sometimes seem to have many traits of both demisexuals, graysexuals, and asexuals naturally, and that our categorization system may be benefiting the culture centered on male-style sexuality in its understanding (near instant and strong attraction). 

http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2014/06/16/i-drew-this-graph-about-sexual-desire-and-i-think-it-might-change-your-life/

http://www.medicaldaily.com/sex-drive-doesnt-exist-psychologist-says-more-women-experience-responsive-desire-328206

Obviously, due to feminism (whose various leaders were quite possibly on the aromantic spectrum and/or more hypersexual than the average woman, given their views) there has been a push to say "women and men are essentially the same" which actually hurts women in this respect, in a system that "others" them for their normal or average traits. 

I wish I could remember the threads where we discussed how, when carefully questioned, a lot of people (women especially) don't experience sexual attraction as much or as often as they think they do, instead labeling things like aesthetic attraction as "sexual" because that is the vocabulary that the culture has given them. 

 

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1 minute ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

You should follow up with this person and ask them questions about their own feelings, if they were like this. They are probably female, right?

I heard the answer Nyx Nikari got from all kind of people, not only woman. Much of them were anything but demi- or asexual.

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WoodwindWhistler
12 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

I heard the answer Nyx Nikari got from all kind of people, not only woman. Much of them were anything but demi- or asexual.

Well then that's simply a matter of asking them if they had the desire to have sex before their first time and then pointing out you don't have that. 

The basic analogy of hunger is often useful- they are 'hungry' before they have 'eat.' You are not. (Though that presents the obvious parallel of eating simply for taste, which is a legitimate comparison as well) 

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nerdperson777
On 11/18/2017 at 8:25 AM, Crayvon said:

At school, there were two men in a wheel chair. They came to tell how it's like to live in a wheel chair for the rest of their lives.

Afterwards, the students could interview them. Of all the questions they could ask, the first question was ''How do you do it? I mean reproducing children if you wish to have some?"

One of the men said he has children so that why someone asked but really? is that so important? Is that all you care about?

It's like the first thing you ask to someone who just now barely survived an accident: " Can you still make children??" instead of "are you okay??"

Depending on the injury, as long as it has nothing to do with that area, they should be able to have babies.

 

When I got in an accident, my dad's first question was "how will this affect our insurance?"  I called him out on it later and he made an excuse, "you sounded okay on the phone."  You liar.  On the phone you said by the tone of my voice, it didn't sound good.  Them priorities.

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When it takes you a moment to understand a joke or phrase that sounded inappropriate. 

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On 11/18/2017 at 8:25 AM, Crayvon said:

At school, there were two men in a wheel chair. They came to tell how it's like to live in a wheel chair for the rest of their lives.

Afterwards, the students could interview them. Of all the questions they could ask, the first question was ''How do you do it? I mean reproducing children if you wish to have some?"

One of the men said he has children so that why someone asked but really? is that so important? Is that all you care about?

It's like the first thing you ask to someone who just now barely survived an accident: " Can you still make children??" instead of "are you okay??"

That reminds me of the very beginning of Danganronpa V3 where you meet a character who’s a very human-like robot. The other character who’s introduced alongside him almost immediately asks if the robot has a d***. Granted, it was kinda funny but more in a “Really? Why the f*** is this the first thing you ask a super advanced robot?” sort of way.

 

But yeah, I’d be more concerned about the prospect of oh IDK, dealing with permanently losing the ability to move independently without assistance. I’d feel like a complete burden to everyone cause I’d need help to do pretty basic stuff like grabbing a cup from the cupboard. It’d also be a real problem if you wanted remain healthy. You couldn’t do aerobic exercises so your overall health is in serious danger too.

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Guess what expression I have to learn for my English class....

 

Spoiler

Yes. It's back. I'm sorry.

"to toss the salad"

If this comes up in the exam I mustn't laugh. Remember, Charlie, don't laugh! People will think I'm a pervert when in fact I'm the opposite.

 

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28 minutes ago, Julian of Norwich said:

Guess what expression I have to learn for my English class....

 

  Hide contents

Yes. It's back. I'm sorry.

"to toss the salad"

If this comes up in the exam I mustn't laugh. Remember, Charlie, don't laugh! People will think I'm a pervert when in fact I'm the opposite.

 

IT WILL NEVER DIE. Btw, why the f- do you need to learn it?!

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On 19-11-2017 at 5:47 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Depending on the injury, as long as it has nothing to do with that area, they should be able to have babies.

 

When I got in an accident, my dad's first question was "how will this affect our insurance?"  I called him out on it later and he made an excuse, "you sounded okay on the phone."  You liar.  On the phone you said by the tone of my voice, it didn't sound good.  Them priorities.

Those men are paralyzed from half their spine and during that lesson they explained as soon as they are brought into the hospital. The hospital staff takes out some of your reproduction cells and freeze them in so in case of when you wish to have some children in the future.

 

On 20-11-2017 at 3:41 AM, Laplace said:

That reminds me of the very beginning of Danganronpa V3 where you meet a character who’s a very human-like robot. The other character who’s introduced alongside him almost immediately asks if the robot has a d***. Granted, it was kinda funny but more in a “Really? Why the f*** is this the first thing you ask a super advanced robot?” sort of way.

 

But yeah, I’d be more concerned about the prospect of oh IDK, dealing with permanently losing the ability to move independently without assistance. I’d feel like a complete burden to everyone cause I’d need help to do pretty basic stuff like grabbing a cup from the cupboard. It’d also be a real problem if you wanted remain healthy. You couldn’t do aerobic exercises so your overall health is in serious danger too.

That's true however, after healing your injuries you'll be put in rehabilitation therapy. There you'll be trained how to do basic stuff again and your upper body strong enough by exercising&doing sports to for example move yourself and your wheel chair into your car ready to drive

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1 hour ago, lux aeterna said:

IT WILL NEVER DIE. Btw, why the f- do you need to learn it?!

Just in its normal, innocent meaning of course. Vocabulary concerning food and nutrition.

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I have two guy roommates whom I've lived with for two years.

Coworker: Have you ever, ya know *does her stupid sexual gesture*

Me: No

Coworker: Thought about it though?

Me: No.

Coworker: Yes you have, everyone would in that situation.

Me: *thinks to self omfg*

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1 hour ago, Julian of Norwich said:

Just in its normal, innocent meaning of course. Vocabulary concerning food and nutrition.

Oh god, I already thought (german ahead): in welchem bundesland lernt man sowas? :D

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1 hour ago, lux aeterna said:

Oh god, I already thought (german ahead): in welchem bundesland lernt man sowas? :D

Och, an der Uni weiß man nie - die Studenten sind volljährig, da müssen sich die Dozenten nicht zurückhalten mit gewissen -Anspielungen- :P

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1 minute ago, Julian of Norwich said:

Och, an der Uni weiß man nie - die Studenten sind volljährig, da müssen sich die Dozenten nicht zurückhalten mit gewissen -Anspielungen- :P

Achso, Uni. Hörte sich nach Schule an. Ja, da ist alles anders :D

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nerdperson777
13 hours ago, Naali said:

I have two guy roommates whom I've lived with for two years.

Coworker: Have you ever, ya know *does her stupid sexual gesture*

Me: No

Coworker: Thought about it though?

Me: No.

Coworker: Yes you have, everyone would in that situation.

Me: *thinks to self omfg*

Why even bother asking..?

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