littleheartsofjoy Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 After a week here, yes, I think I can fit in here eventually, I say eventually only because I am still a newbie and feeling my way around. It's only been a few days for me, but I agree. Do I feel like I fit into AVEN... I'd have to say I fit in here as much as any new person would I suppose. It's a confusing place to me now, but based on the community I've seen so far, I don't see myself leaving anytime soon :) Same. More than I have anywhere else online. Even among my fb friends I don't feel so at home. To an extent, I agree. I don't feel like I have to pretend to be sexual. I try not to, but since it is assumed, I only challenge it when I feel like it. Here, that is not expected of me, so I'm fine with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I agree with what La Maestra said earlier about meet-ups. Not everybody is comfortable meeting people in RL, I've been umming and aahing about going to my first meet-up for over a year and while I'm a confident, extrovert person usually, I've been surprisingly reticent about actually doing it. I want to but I'm nervous for some reason I can't seem to put my finger on. It may even spoil things for you, you never know. If you get enough out of it online, why force yourself to go to a meet? I fit in with the people I like and I am glad to have met them. Link to post Share on other sites
Alphaprocess Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I do feel I fit in -- this is about the only online community which I've participated in for any length of time. Others (e.g. Quirkyalone) have held my interest for a while but I've then given up on them. QA is really not me as there is a strong romantic (as in love-romantic) ideal going on among them and I'm aromantic. Other shared-interest groups such as science fiction readers haven't kept me either largely because I know quite a few sf writers and readers IRL and can talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Sixteen Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I do. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
DersEvvak Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I voted "mostly no", because I hardly ever find anything here that I feel I can comment about. Most discussions are on things that I either have no opinion on, no experience with, or no interest in. Not to say I don't enjoy reading everyone else's comments, but it's hard to say I'm really an active part of the community when I go for weeks without saying anything. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Um...I didn't get a birthday cake post and everyone else did....I am sad and want my cake lol! =p Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Um...I didn't get a birthday cake post and everyone else did....I am sad and want my cake lol! =p That's just not right! Please accept this birthday cake from me. :D Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Um...I didn't get a birthday cake post and everyone else did....I am sad and want my cake lol! =p That's just not right! Please accept this birthday cake from me. :D Okay I feel better now! Link to post Share on other sites
Arcovia Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I feel completely like I fit in here. Welcomed, though? I've seen several members bash parts of my identity that I now don't feel comfortable revealing here, and other members post triggering material, not directly at me, but in response to other people saying the same things I would have. I'm understood when it comes to my experiences with asexuality, but my romantic and gender identity have both been misunderstood and criticized before. Inclusion isn't something that I've really considered. I don't really think the word applies, because I don't feel included in anything but I don't feel excluded, either. Over all, my experience here has been a positive one, but with several flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
AnomalyEternal Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I feel more welcome and understood at AVEN then I do anywhere else. Included, most of the time. Usually not being included in something is my own fault or desire though. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I used to feel like I did. Not anymore. It has suddenly gone from a cool place to talk about asexuality into a free for all about all sorts of entirely unrelated topics. The few threads I do find awesome are always being crashed by trolls and just shut down before even getting a chance to start. It feels like everyone in the last year has suddenly become hyper sensitive and unable to read or understand English properly. Link to post Share on other sites
Fairytale Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Sometimes I feel I do, sometimes I feel I don't so I'm neutral I guess Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Mostly no. In fact I only returned for the free cake establishing a link to an upcoming A-friendly MineCraft server, although I've got sucked into AVEN again.... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaHoward Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Apart from political views: Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Kazu Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I've felt comfortable here much quicker than I have at other forums. I've only had an account of AVEN for just over a month yet I feel so at home here. Its a very nice forum. It usually takes me a few months to feel this way about a forum. Its a lot friendlier here than majority of the forums I used to visit/I go to. Most of those are anime forums though and I've noticed people are quick to fight on those... Link to post Share on other sites
Manic Pixie Dream Nerd Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I fit in here better than I do in most other places, because 1. No one in my real life understands the fact that I don't want to get married and all that other aromantic/ asexual stuff 2. Since most people here are pretty darn weird (in a good way) I don't stand out as much as the "loud, weird one," and 3. As mentioned in #2, it's hard for people to tell how loud and annoying and weird I am through the internet, so they don't dismiss me as an annoying, loud person :D. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Mostly no but I feel neutral sometimes as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Satin Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I'm not much of a forum person, AVEN is only the second forum ever to hold me as an active member. I certainly wouldn't be here if I didn't feel comfortable and that I fit in overall. One thing I like about this forum is that there are so many different people. Keeps things interesting, but not always fitting in is a given therefore. In any case I feel a lot more comfy here than in my native tongue's AVEN version. That one is not my cup of tea and I can't relate to the people there at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Boots* Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Welcome? Understood? Included? A resounding yes to all 3. Aven is the only forum I actually feel happy on. When I come here, I feel as though I've come home. Me too. I love AVEN and feel so welcome here. Link to post Share on other sites
JaySexual Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I feel like I somewhat fit in here. Link to post Share on other sites
Piotrek Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 This thread is probably going to be archived in a a short while, but I'll still answer it. Since my last reply in September I intensified my forum presence a bit, so the "I'm not active enough to answer" option is no longer relevant ;) I feel understood, because in a group that big there will always be people who will find my experience relatable. I feel welcome in the sense that nobody tells me to go away. I don't feel very much included, but that's probably simply due to the sheer size of the forum, which means that it often feels like many of my posts are buried under the multitude of responses and ignored. Also, not being from US (which seems to be where most of the active members are from) or a fandom member or a nerd I can't understand many of the references. But hey, there's always PMs ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Absolutely. I love AVEN and I try to give back to The AVEN community by commenting on as many threads as I can, provided of course, I feel I have something useful to say about the topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Astrochelonian Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I'm very glad this forum exists. I actually found out about AVEN a decade ago, and it was a happy revelation to find out there was a word and other people like me. I didn't register then, because in browsing around, I found that I really wasn't like most of the posters except in one aspect, and I was too busy with college at the time to care about sexuality one way or the other (my best college friends were mostly the wait-until-marriage types, so I never felt horribly out-of-place). I didn't come back to the site until recently because I am in a group that participates in role-playing-games, and my friend expressed interest in playing an asexual, and I wanted to have accurate information to give him. Again, I find I don't fit in well. I think my asexuality stems at least in part from my choices and actions, especially those made when I was younger (even if there is a genetic component also). I also don't think my life would be any different if I were sexual, because I would still choose not to have sex unless a very specific set of criteria were met. I consider sex immoral under many circumstances and those beliefs put me out of touch with most of this board and with most of Western society in general. Most of the time, I consider myself lucky that I don't need to worry about sexual things. I'd like to be in an asexual relationship, but as I have no relationship experience, I can't see that ending in anything but disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I love this place and feel very at home here, welcome and understood are apt descriptions of my experience! But no, I don't feel that I am always included here and nor should I. One of the things I like most about AVEN is that we are all so different. There are folks here with world views similar to my own but the opposite viewpoints and other life experiences are also represented. Same for age groups. If we were just a bunch of 30 something artsy liberals I would be sorely disappointed. It is AVEN's variety that makes me feel like a normal person, that validates my identity as an aromantic asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Mauve Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yes and no. There are the obvious similarities of being Asexual and there are the differences in terms of gender & romantic orientations, religion or lack of, as well as age & experience with sexuality. I find that among the Asexuals I have already come across, I can relate with only a few. Not a bad thing, just more of a neutral thing. I was too busy with college at the time to care about sexuality one way or the other (my best college friends were mostly the wait-until-marriage types, so I never felt horribly out-of-place). Again, I find I don't fit in well. I also don't think my life would be any different if I were sexual, because I would still choose not to have sex unless a very specific set of criteria were met. This is very me. Most of the time, I'm way too busy as a uni student to even think of anything remotely resembling a relationship. My close friends are all Sexuals, but are the waiting types as well; which makes it easier for me to relate, understand, and be with them. I follow a strict moral, religious, and ethical code as well and cannot see myself budging from it, even under Sexual circumstances. Here is to you Link to post Share on other sites
EdenRose Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yes ! I just wished there was more overly crazy romantics here, so I wouldn't feel so creepy.. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
cavyX Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Yes, I am have found myself in a lovely group of friends and I mostly hang around JFF and it's awesome :) Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I think so. Sometimes I'm a little disappointed how I rarely people comment to my status post, but I can't actually blame anyone as I'm not alone there. Overall, I like this place. A lot. My only problem, which is mine, is that I can't bring myself to PM anyone anymore. :( Link to post Share on other sites
R. Fenghuang Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I do feel welcome and I do feel included but... As for understood, I think I'm just at a different place in my life right now. I think most people at AVEN are just discovering who and what they are and are now working to understand/accept that. I've always had a pretty solid understanding of myself and mostly been able to accept and embrace it. Currently, I'm in the process of expanding my social circles. I've just gotten out of a bad situation, unravelled all the secrets of my self, moved to a new city, and started to settle in (at least for a while). I'm really just floating through the interlude until I achieve my goals and/or die. It's a very zen place to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Amnesiac Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I can't really say one way or the other. Whilst my activity lately has increased quite a lot, I rarely post outside of JFF and even then it's the same few threads. I've never actively tried to talk to people either, so that doesn't help haha Link to post Share on other sites
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