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Did you meet your partner(s) on AVEN?


Calla

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I think it both charming and inspiring to know that some on the ace spectrum have found their platonic and/or romantic partner(s) here on AVEN. I think this thread should be for sharing those stories. How was the connection first made? Have you met in person? How long have you been together? Sharing stories makes community stronger, and I'm all ears. :D

I'll post my story too, I just want to wait a few weeks first. ;)

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The Great WTF

Nope, sorry. I met my pet at an anime convention when he flying tackle hugged me upon realizing I was carrying a plushie of the character he was cosplaying. There are quite a few couples floating around who met here, though.

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I didn't, although I've had a couple crushes on people whom I met here. It didn't really go anywhere, but I'm okay with that. Things like these happen all the time anyway.

I do know of a number of couples that have formed over here, but I'll let them speak for themselves if they so please. As for how to make a connection, for me it's pretty random - I just either get contacted or contact somebody if I think we have a good number of interests in common and can potentially get along as friends. Being a greyromantic, my friendship usually doesn't develop into anything else (save for the above cited cases), but hey, it's still pretty good to have friends from here ^_^

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Really you use this place for meeting? I did never think of it... :rolleyes::rolleyes: (I cannot even lie ahah)

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I know in my case, I wasn't on a mission to find a partner. I was here because I was sorting through my stuff. But, as the way life seems to go, things just kind of fell into place, though not perfectly, there were some timing issues. Those have sorted out, but we still live 7.5 hours away. We seem to have a great platonic bond, but I'm trying to be semi-disciplined and reserve full judgement until we meet for the first time, which will be in 11 days (not that I'm counting or anything). I keep hearing about others who have connected on here and am trying to lure them out of the woodwork to share their stories. :D

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The Great WTF

Really you use this place for meeting? I did never think of it... :rolleyes::rolleyes: (I cannot even lie ahah)

Members are not allowed to use AVEN as a dating site, but there have been several cases of relationships blossoming from friendship between members.
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cemeterywitch

We met through ace meet ups and we eventually became friends.

Yes, we live in the same city. We see each other atleast once a week. Sometimes more depending on work schedules.

We started dating July 16th but we've known each other since May. That probably doesn't sound like a lot of time but we talked for hours about everything and anything every time we hung out so we got to know each other quickly.

I'm deeply in love with him. I've never felt this comfortable around anyone. He inspires me and brings me so much joy. I'm a melancholy person which is usually hard for people to understand, but not him. He understands completely and is so good to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He truly is my soul mate, my other half. I feel so lucky to have found him. When I'm not around him I feel like something is missing. I used to dream of finding love and I finally have. We look so cute together.

There is hope you guys. Go to meet ups, make friends. That's what I did. I had no plans to find someone to date, I just wanted to have ace friends.

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It's pretty inevitable that some relationships will form on any social platform. :) I did not meet my partner through AVEN and he is sexual, but I know a few people here have.

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It's pretty inevitable that some relationships will form on any social platform. :) I did not meet my partner through AVEN and he is sexual, but I know a few people here have.

Yup. I met R. (she, too, is sexual) on a message board. But it wasn't this one (and she's not an AVENite).

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Yes, we met on AVEN. Best thing I did, responding to a thread on qualities. That was January 2012. Since then, we have met twice for a two week period (I reside in Australia, he in the US), and I am due to wing my way there again in three weeks exactly.

Aspie

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Yes, we met on AVEN. Best thing I did, responding to a thread on qualities. That was January 2012. Since then, we have met twice for a two week period (I reside in Australia, he in the US), and I am due to wing my way there again in three weeks exactly.

He is my soul-mate and we are getting married later this year. He even proposed here on AVEN....

Aspie

What a WONDERFUL history.

You have remembered me this song, and the SO great movie with the same name:

I REALLY wish you both luck!!

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Yes, we met on AVEN. Best thing I did, responding to a thread on qualities. That was January 2012. Since then, we have met twice for a two week period (I reside in Australia, he in the US), and I am due to wing my way there again in three weeks exactly.

He is my soul-mate and we are getting married later this year. He even proposed here on AVEN....

Aspie

I agree, a great history to have, and thank you so much for (re)sharing it with AVEN. :D Congrats to you both! <3 :cake:

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Notte stellata

I didn't meet my husband on AVEN, but I met two special friends / SOs here who are as important to me as my husband. Haven't met either of them in person yet, and most likely I won't have a conventional partnership with either of them, but what matters most to us is the intellectual and emotional connection, even just through online communication. :wub:

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I don't believe I have logged into this site in about six months, but I randomly came back tonight as I plan for my love's birthday next week. I just happened to come across your topic here and indeed it appears you have pulled me out of the woodwork. I'll link the topic my girlfriend and I wrote pertaining to this subject:

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/73254-our-aven-love-story/

Obviously, you will find that it's rather out of date. I am planning on updating that topic again next January in case you are curious. In the meantime, I hope this helps you as count the days (as I know I did).

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passionatefriend61

Ah, yes, I love your story SJM. So happy to hear you and your partner are still together! Enjoy! :)

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I had no prior idea that there was a slight possiblity to meet your significant other in this particular site. Seems intricate to encounter or stumble upon.

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Icey Muffin Man

Oh yay! A thread to discuss our love!! My partner of about 2 months, whom I met on AVEN, is Gent. Iceman Muffin. o^-^o it's a long story, so I put it in a spoiler.

So I'd been chatting on AVEN for a few months when he joined in I think March. I don't recall our exact first meeting. I remember thinking he was sweet, funny, gentle, kind, positive and cute, but I was very guarded, so I didn't allow myself to actually have a crush on him. He was someone I was always happy to see in chat because he was so upbeat and silly. When he announced that he had a girlfriend, I remember feeling a little sad, even though I'd never consciously thought of us ever becoming a couple (I also figured that I wouldn't be a good match for someone who describes themselves as hyperromantic). It was kinda like an "oh, well there goes another one..." feeling, like the dating pool of nice guys was getting smaller.

He somewhat phased out of chat over time, and I clearly remember when he started coming back to chat more often. It made me happy that he was around more.

Roughly 3 months ago, he started randomly PMing me, but with not much to say. I'm terrible at keeping conversations going, so they'd be very short. He started spending a lot more time in chat and paying a lot more attention to me. It didn't take long for me to figure out that he might have a crush on me, but I was too avoidant and scared that I didn't bring it up. I tried paying more attention to him in a subtle way, though I'm still not sure if he was aware that I did lol.

Then about 2 months ago, he asked another member in chat if he should tell his crush how he feels. My gut was pretty darn sure that me meant me, but my brain wasn't convinced at all. Ice linked me the song "What Is Love" in chat, and said that's how he felt, which made me so confused!!! Not understanding, I asked if someone had hurt him, and after some more vague and confusing conversation, he PMed me. I remember his exact words... "the feeling is love, and the person is you."

I'm of the fearful-avoidant attatchment style, which means I very much want close relationships, but am also very afraid and avoidant of them. I wasn't able to fully open up at that time, so I told him that his feelings made me very happy.

We've together since then and I've never been happier. He's caring, attentive, compassionate, romantic, and always makes sure that I'm happy. We love a lot of the same movies, share some favorite anime shows (though we completely disagree on some), we have the same favorite flower (tiger lily) and can envision the same, perfect future for both of us. Even though we're a 5 hour drive apart, we've gone on a very romantic date (Skype call while lying outside watching a meteor shower) and bond emotionally every day.

I adore every single part of Connor, and can't wait until we can finally meet in person and cuddle and kiss and enjoy simple things together, like grocery shopping and cooking. He is far better than any partner I could ever imagine.

i love my Tempy and basically everything she said happened. I liked her the first month i saw her though and it took me 5 months to say a word... i'm glad i did

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know in my case, I wasn't on a mission to find a partner. I was here because I was sorting through my stuff. But, as the way life seems to go, things just kind of fell into place, though not perfectly, there were some timing issues. Those have sorted out, but we still live 7.5 hours away. We seem to have a great platonic bond, but I'm trying to be semi-disciplined and reserve full judgement until we meet for the first time, which will be in 11 days (not that I'm counting or anything). I keep hearing about others who have connected on here and am trying to lure them out of the woodwork to share their stories. :D

Well, today I got home from my trip to meet IRL and spend time with Nate. We haven't really sorted out labels for each other, but partner works for me. :)

We were a bit nervous meeting, but actually got over that pretty quickly. We both felt at ease in each other's company, which was great. He warned me he was quiet, and he actually talked quite a bit. I warned him I ramble and I was able to slip into comfortable silences. Neither of us are terribly romantic and yet we got rather cozy. It was great to have someone to savor the little things with. The boulder with the view of the lake. The stars (even if they came with bugs). The campfire, and drumming, and laughter. Quiet time on the couch.The unwavering feeling that I am enough, as quirky as I am. Having someone to share with, who gets me, and is as content with who I am as I am. To have someone who will accept what I can offer with humility and grace. I best be careful, I might start getting all poetical. ;)

It's almost surreal. To have a new relationship without the anxiety. To not have that knot of uncertainty in the pit of your stomach. I'm not sure how I pulled it off, but maybe those "life experiences" have finally taught me some things. :D

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I didn't talk that much. :P Maybe you're just easy for me to talk to. Not a whole lot to add, I think you summed up our visit pretty well. Instead I think I'll post how I met you.

I'd only recently found AVEN a few months prior and was spending a lot of time in chat hanging out and getting to know people. One such evening I spent a little time talking to this Calla person about shamanism, spirituality and the Dresden Files. We had quite a bit in common. We talked a few more times randomly in chat and then one day she asked if I wanted to come play in her Dresden Files tabletop game. I made a few vague responses, mostly because MI is farther away than I was willing to travel and cities aren't exactly my thing. She asked a few more times and finally I had to PM her in chat and tell her that I thought she was cool but I didn't know her well enough to come visit. After that we began talking pretty regularly. Regularly progressed to daily and we've been friends ever since. :) I'm still a little suprised how easy it was and how fast we became friends. Still haven't made it to MI but we're planning on it in November.

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Aww... cute stories!! <3

I'd love to meet an ace partner...anywhere. Haha.

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I think it would be so voltageous to meet someone on AVEN. Finding someone to date is difficult enough, and at least with AVEN you'll (more than likely) be paired up with an asexual. That sure would take away the strain of the "real life" stuff where you run into more sexuals than anything else.

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I am relatively new to this site and I haven't once thought of using it to "meet someone", but years so I was on another forum (a social/political forum) and met someone because over time we had come to realize how much we both had in common. The commonality between us ended in the bedroom, she was sexually aggressive and I was uninterested in sex and going through the motions. She dubbed my lack of sexual interest "The pink elephant in the room" and thought I needed to see a doctor. We broke up after a lot of unnecessary drama. I wouldn't try to deliberately meet someone on a message board, it seems like a bad idea to me.

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I've only had 1 boyfriend(sexual) in my life and I met him on a public bus. Anyway, I don't think I'll ever find a 40 something heterosexual romantic gray asexual male on this site because most men on this site are aromantic..

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There is hope you guys. Go to meet ups, make friends. That's what I did. I had no plans to find someone to date, I just wanted to have ace friends.

Couldn't agree more, I've been going to (mostly Scottish) Aven meet ups for just over a year now, made some great friends in that time and in particular met my partner in April this year.

The thing I find funny about it was that there was an Aven meet up in Stirling, which I couldn't attend because I had man-flu. I'm in bed with a mug of Lemsip and next thing I know the regular attending aces are telling me that "a certain female was most disappointed" that I wasn't there - I let them give her my phone number, and wham! I had a virtual pen pal (because of this I laughingly refer to her as my stalker :) ).

The following Aven meet was in Glasgow, where I met my partner for the first time in the flesh, things seemed to click between us so our relationship was born. We have wondered if the full on nature of her approach made the relationship inevitable (the alternative was me running away very fast), or whether it would have happened naturally. Either way everything about our relationship so far seems to fit, and we're both very happy.

Therefore, I raise a toast of cake to Aven :cake:

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There is hope you guys. Go to meet ups, make friends. That's what I did. I had no plans to find someone to date, I just wanted to have ace friends.

Couldn't agree more, I've been going to (mostly Scottish) Aven meet ups for just over a year now, made some great friends in that time and in particular met my partner in April this year.

The thing I find funny about it was that there was an Aven meet up in Stirling, which I couldn't attend because I had man-flu. I'm in bed with a mug of Lemsip and next thing I know the regular attending aces are telling me that "a certain female was most disappointed" that I wasn't there - I let them give her my phone number, and wham! I had a virtual pen pal (because of this I laughingly refer to her as my stalker :) ).

The following Aven meet was in Glasgow, where I met my partner for the first time in the flesh, things seemed to click between us so our relationship was born. We have wondered if the full on nature of her approach made the relationship inevitable (the alternative was me running away very fast), or whether it would have happened naturally. Either way everything about our relationship so far seems to fit, and we're both very happy.

Therefore, I raise a toast of cake to Aven :cake:

Yay!!! I'm so happy for you :)

You two sound really great together.

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Yes, I did! :)

I met him on my very first day at AVEN, on my very first day knowing that what I am has an actual name (June 8th, 2012). And as a good newbie, I was at the chatroom just getting to know people and other stories. I didn't know then, but everything had changed.

We talked mostly through PM and occasional meetings at the AVEN chatroom, and soon we moved to e-mails and IM. Our friendship grew to almost daily conversations, and soon enough I realized my feelings weren't purely those of a friendly nature. Probably an unrequitted crush, I thought, so I kept it to myself while still talking whenever we could and getting closer despite the distance ( :().

The thing is... he saw me at my very worst, and found something worth loving when I couldn't find a reason to love myself. I broke his heart when all I wanted was to just give up, but he didn't let me. And in the middle of all of that, somehow my feelings only grew.

Even through all the darkness, I found a reason to smile again. And as I keep saying, a reason to make the puppies and all that's cute in my stomach go crazy and explode in a fluffy mess. My days have never been brighter, and every new day by his side (even if still not physically) makes me rethink everything I thought I knew. ^_^

It hasn't been a month yet since he asked me to be his girlfriend, and it has been the happiest already.

I definitely smile less than three him to the moon and back. (a little inside joke just for the sake of being sappy :wub:)

I was enchanted to meet you.

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