Do You Look Asexual?

[I am Sherlocked]

Yeah I definitely wouldn't be seen as an asexual person. I'm a trained makeup artist and very into fashion so my "look" reflects that. As for the vibe thing, I think I give it out hard core. I'm very outgoing and will talk to almost anyone a out anything and even tend to be nice enough that its seen as being flirtatious. But no one ever seems interested in any more than that. Which I'm obviously fine with. Haha

YESSS. I've had people ask my friends if I liked them and stuff. Thankfully my friend (before I even knew I was ace) would tell them that I'm just really nice and i don't like them that way. lol. She was all "Did I speak wrong?" And I'm all "No, no, that's perfect!" haha.

[Shontelle]

I for one, like many before me don't see a certain type of look as defining asexual identity.

I dress athletically - since I practically live in the gym.

Many tell me that I've a masculine energy that leads them to believe that I am a lesbian. When I reproach them they just stare at me in utter disbelief - I don't outwardly tell them I am asexual just simply that I am not a lesbian.

I can definitely see how another would assume that I have a penchant for women. There's NO way on this earth I could EVER be mistaken for a straight woman. I shudder to think of the implications.

[zieku]

Fairly certain there is no look. There are ways to dress that are non-sexual which I would associate with not wearing what is socially accepted by others. This of course will depend on the social group you are around at the time. Go to a questionable house party wearing a black baggy hoodie with jeans your a "bad ass" . Go to a college frat party dressed the same and most people will think you are a druggy. While attending a cast party I was voted best dressed, best hair "I had a hat lol", top pick in a devils three way. Additionally, when I tell others I have never dated they don't seem to flinch. The more shocking response is evoked when I explain to them that dating implies I haven't had sex.I suppose all this means I dress like a man whore lol? As far as the vibe thing I would attribute it to non-verbal communication. It's quite simple to consciously manipulate these actions which would explain why some people here claim to have had people stop perusing them once they have accepted that they are asexual. :P. Very intriguing topic, I had fun reading through peoples responses. Thanks for posting it.

[Jayne1996]

I like getting dressed up and wearing make up and feeling like I look good... does this mean I'm not asexual?

[OldFriends4Sale]

im 4'11, i dont wear make up and i have a twist out and sometimes an afro. i wear vans(cause i always skateboard) jeans and hippie shirts....i look 14 so perhaps i do look asexual lol

I like getting dressed up and wearing make up and feeling like I look good... does this mean I'm not asexual?

no it means ur a girl lol i like doing the same when i go out to places. but its rare. self pride has nothing to do with sexuality

[Cyla]

One day I will be wearing baggy jeans, hair in a mess, and a video game shirt, the next I can be wearing high heels, a pretty dress, and make-up. I am pretty flexible with what I feel comfortable wearing - totally dependant on my mood.

Now, do I 'act' asexual? I never really thought about it. I am who I am. I am pretty unflirty, as in I don't even realize people are flirting with me unless it is so over the top that it's funny. I guess part of that is me being a bit nieve; something I am still working on to overcome. I don't casually flirt so I just assume people wouldn't do that with me. I don't know what else would apply to acting asexual...

I like getting dressed up and wearing make up and feeling like I look good... does this mean I'm not asexual?

Asexuality is not having sexual attraction to others. This obviously has nothing to do with how you enjoy presenting yourself.

[ThaHoward]

Since I am asexual, and I look like me, I guess I look asexual :D

[K!m]

I dress so "un-sexually" that I'm surprised no one's suspected me of being a tomboy/lesbian yet. But still, people keep calling me pretty (which I totally disagree on. Seriously.) and assuming I'm heteroromantic heterosexual like almost everyone else here (country, not AVEN) because they know nothing of aromanticism and asexuality. Sad.

[C.F.L.]

I've never had anyone identify me with a particular orientation, just by my appearance, whether ace or anything else.

I guess the only clues that I have is the ace of hearts bag that often carry my computer in, and the ace flag on my key-chain. Not that most people would know what these mean, even if they happen to notice them.

[Leelian]

Pretty sure one does not dress 'asexual.' You can dress the opposite of sexy, or uncaring like me. A baggy graphic tee, some jeans, and sneakers is all that is needed for a trip to the store. That's not dressing asexually, that's being kind of lazy. For classes though, I try to at least wear better fitting tees, if not actual blouses; that, and baggy tees are becoming uncomfortable to wear during the day. Never wear make-up though, and never felt the need (lip balm doesn't count, it prevents painful cracking of the lips). I can and will dress up for occasion if needed or wanted. Sometimes I like to look well-dressed (blouse with slacks and nice shoes).

I find that I want to make two of my cosplays sexier, but not just to look sexy. The two characters are both evil villains, and one can mimic the appearance of others to feed off of people's love. The other is rebelling and it would be symbolic to have the shorter dress with the high-heeled boots. It also helps get into character.

[astrobean]

I have large boobs. My behavior is irrelevant. It doesn't matter that I don't wear makeup or don't dress up. They see the boobs, and want to have sex with them... er, um, me.

[Himegami]

I don't think that there is a "look" when it comes to asexuality. People come from all walks of life and whatever is comfortable with them is what they wear.

Now, I don't know if it is just me or not, but I am comfortable being an asexual with feminine charm and masculine traits. I dress clean and wear what I want. I guess I don't "fit the stereotype". It just goes to show that one can't base a "guess" at sexual orientation by appearances. ;)

Everyone should wear what they want. You don't have to fit the stereotype. :P

[trumpetchick]

I don't think there's a stereotypical look.

When people see me, they think I'm a teacher. I have no idea why. I look like I'm 12. But never has anyone been able to guess that I'm ace by my appearance.

[Rhan]

I have to agree there isn't an asexual look and it has to be the vibe someone gives off.

I've never told my friends I am ace and still nobody ever asks me about crushes or whether I'm seeing someone. People don't flirt with me (Or I am just really, really terrible at noticing it) and people generally don't talk about sex related things when I'm around. And I'm perfectly fine with that, because 99% of the time I'm not interested in talking about those topics anyway. ^_^

Most of the time I wear baggy jeans, colorful T-shirts and sneakers. It's not "sexy" by any stretch of the imagination, but it just feels nice to wear clothes like that.

[.Mari]

I look like a dead sleep-deprived animal with a surprisingly nice face.

I don't think dead animals like to fuck.

[mingycommumbus]

Looks wise, I usually get pegged as a lipstick lesbian, though men come on to me a lot in clubs. That's partly the company I keep, partly how I dress (I adore eyeliner, lipstick, pretty dresses, chunky boots and most of the tops I own are see through and the rest are geek tees). Vibe wise, people assume I'm sexual because I'm open, friendly/flirtatious, and a bit of a kissing/cuddle slut. No one's ever asked if I'm ace.

[vsmith85]

not sure about asexual but I know everywhere my husband has ever worked his co workers say they're afraid of me and that I look mean, even though I'm not. I also get accused of being a lesbian. So I dunno? lol I do tend to dress comfortably. I mean, special occasions I do like to look nice, but maybe that's because I know that's what is expected of me. On a rare occasion I do try to look "sexy" it does make me feel better about myself, but I don't know why. Maybe looking sexually appealing to the opposite sex makes me feel more "normal" lol but uh, guess maybe it depends on the day. I'm a mixed bag I guess. lol

[ficgal]

I really don't know. Does being told I look mean count? I prefer a casual look. I wear mascara but that's about it. I do love jewelry.

[Guest member25959]

Uhm... nope, I can't think of one. Maybe if they're expecting you to behave or react in a certain way around other people and you fail to do so, maybe that's what they're pointing out?

[mayve]

Edit: ehh, what I said was dumb

[Plus]

I feel like I get the point your trying to make, kind of like a man with a high voice, if you are in the room with average people who aren't very knowledgeable think, oh that person is gay. I sort of feel as if our stereotype is the weird badass people who are a bit awkward are the asexual ones, usually above average intelligence.

[girltwink666]

People would probably think I dress like a gay person because I wear really colorful sweaters and skinny jeans and scarves. But seriously, the only decent fashion philosophies for men are either gay or European.

EDIT: did you know this is my 100th post on the site hey congrats to me

[ejjury]

There probably isn't any asexual "look" per-se but I do think that it may have to do with the vibes a person gives off. I'm in the same situation as the OP - I practically never get asked about romantic or sexual relationships, as though people simply assume that I have no interest in having those kinds of relationships. I honestly can't remember the last time anyone queried me about my relationship status, interests, or anything of the sort. Almost like someone wouldn't expect a dog that they know has been neutered to have any interest in dogs of the opposite sex. I suppose maybe asexuals give out an "I'm not available to anyone" vibe, whatever that might be.

I agree. The only people whom have ever asked me about relationships are older gentlemen that cannot believe I live alone in a house (my roomies supposedly don't count to them). Everyone else says they always get a "not interested" vibe from me and I have only ever been hit on by the incredibly drunk at bars.

[NamTar]

I really don't think there is an asexual look. Just like I don't think there is a "gay look," unless somebody is wearing a gay pride Tshirt with rainbows all over it.

Um... does being described as looking like a frigid bitch count?

It always gives me warm fuzzies when I hear that description in regards to me. ^_^

I've actually gotten that remark when I worked in retail. And i was perfectly polite to everyone, I'm just not smiley and warm and friendly, it's not in my nature. I take it as a compliment too. I've been nicknamed "Mrs. Spock" in various places, online and off, for reasons totally unrelated to liking Star Trek, apparently because I just give off that cold and logical vibe.

Funnily enough, everyone I meet thinks I'm a lesbian. I clearly give off lesbian vibes.

I have gotten that I look like a stereotypical lesbian, or did in the past, or something, particularly when I had a buzzcut or shaved head and wore big boots. I find this pretty stupid though, because it assumes heterosexual (and bi-, pan-, asexual, etc) women can't have short hair. For gawd's sake, cutting my hair short had nothing to do with sexual orientation. I did it because I had waist-length hair for my whole life and wanted a change for a while.

I think it may also be that people don't read me as quite heterosexual, and they automatically assume every person is either heterosexual or homosexual, so they decide I must be a lesbian. I even had one customer at that job who actually asked me about my experience dealing with guys hitting on me when I am so "obviously a lesbian." Obviously a lesbian! I had no idea I was a lesbian, I said...

[N7_Paladin]

Probably lol, I just have this sort of 'I don't care attitude lol' people often misunderstand me and think I might just be gay but won't admit it, but when I tell them i'm not attracted to men or women they just seem to look perplexed and go...'eh?' it's quite funny actually seeing there reactions and the contorted looks on there faces when I tell people i'm still a virgin lol

[cemeterywitch]

I've been told several times I look like a lesbian or give off the lesbian vibe. I have no idea why. Even other aces have said so. I just don't get it XD

[sound_the_bugle]

Uh... what do typical asexual looks like anyway? I don't think there's a stereotype for that... (yet)

As for me, I don't think so. People found me scary, but not asexual.

I don't think someone can look asexual.

I think you can look uninterested and maybe that's it?

I mean, there isn't really a socially defined stereotype fro asexuals yet, so there isn't really a categorical appearance...I think.

I think that the sterotypical "asexual look" would be someone that didn't where clothes that other guy/girls would find as "hot" or bother with their appearance much. Like what I said in my post, I wear a jacket and jeans whenever I can. That includes when it's freakishly hot outside while girls are trying to wear as little clothing and look as slutty as possible. I believe this is also the girls who don't wear make-up. Even though guys say that they like girls without make-up, it's still possible to go with very little make-up without them noticing and pull off a natural look.

Girls wearing as little clothing as possible when it's freakishly hot outside probably aren't trying to look as slutty as possible, but rather trying to be comfortable in the extreme heat. Or maybe they're just comfortable that way.

Also, to actually answer the question, I'm not sure. I know guys have liked me in the past, and I've been asked out once or twice, but I think people assume I'm straight (for the most part), though, as I've said before, it often seems like guys think I'm lesbian and girls think I'm straight. Because of that, maybe I do give off a "not intersted" vibe. I don't wear makeup, and I rarely wear dresses, but I basically wear whatever I want for that day or moment, be it jeans in hot or cold weather, t-shirts, sweaters, tank tops, shorts, dresses sometimes...

[WigWam]

*

Edited September 27, 2013 by corvette cassette

[marki]

Does having webbed feet and being weird looking make you asexual looking? Haha in all seriousness (the toe thing is real) I guess I don't really try to make myself look attractive towards other people so maybe that is asexual? Not sure! I could dress well if I wanted ( had a thing as a child for the style channel) so I remember most of the rules.

[Mona Lisa]

I agree with the previous posters that there's really no way to "look" asexual, but it's possible to present yourself in a way that says you're not necessarily looking to get lucky. Androgyny, not wearing sexy clothes, etc., for starters. I don't wear makeup or futz a lot with my hair because I'm not looking to attract someone and it doesn't do much for my confidence. I wear dresses sometimes, but my aim is to look "cute," not sexy. Do people pick up on my asexiness? If they do, it's probably got more to do with my attitude and actions than my overall look.