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Do You Look Asexual?


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I dress extremely feminine and I wear makeup, though I don't feel like I need to wear it constantly. Most people assume I'm heterosexual, but I lean towards women.

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I'm not sure people register my appearance or vibes as 'asexual' so much as they do 'innocent and childlike'. People do tend to 'get' that I'm not really into sexual stuff or at least that I think it ought to be private. I don't know whether they think I have hidden sexual interests or not. I'm sure I come off as very feminine, but in an old-fashioned sort of way - I don't do make-up, have long hair, and always wear long skirts and generally not very revealing clothes. Thankfully I don't have a typical 'sexy' figure, so I don't have to worry about my breasts drawing unwanted attention, and probably wouldn't look particularly sexy even if I was trying to dress that way. I'm pretty sure I don't give off a very sexual vibe with my bodylanguage or expression, etc. I think I tend to look more distant and ethereal, rather than 'physical.'

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I have no idea what that would look like. I think with me it's more that I don't respond to cues, nor give them off. But at times in the past (when I was young and not as overweight) I was told many times that I was attractive, that I had a sexy voice, walk, and so on and so forth. So ... No.

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artandceramics

I have no idea what an asexual 'looks' like, but based on others' thoughts, I guess they don't either!

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I don't know what vibe I give off. Since I am a cyclist and like to work out, I am in pretty good shape. I have very effeminate-looking legs, which a friend once told me "did it" for him...OK. However, I don't work out to look good to others. I want to look good to me. Generally, I wear jeans that have been well-worn. T-shirt and polo shirt, and some kind of hoodie. So, I do basically hide my body. I have been wearing the same plaid, zip-up hoodie for quite awhile now. I wear my hair long and bedraggled and usually have a beard. My outfit's appearance does not change, and I finally know why. I guess I am so obsessed with Doctor Who that I wanted a distinctive 'Doctor' look too. Since the Doctor usually wears the same outfit from episode to episode, I sort of went with that too. And, my hoodie has nice big pockets. All I need is a sonic screwdriver and some jelly babies.

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I... don't know. I don't know if Asexual really has a 'look' to it. I don't know about any vibes I give off, either. Although I imagine they're either 'reserved' or 'childlike'. (Because I get mistaken as a kid a lot. One of my classmates actually thought I was 12. :o)

You know what's odd? I like wearing low-cut shirts (even in this cold weather xP), and I only ever receive comments on it from my 16 year old niece and her mother. (They're usually like, "You should wear a tank top under/over that shirt, Kayla!" Which is ironic, because they both wear low-cut shirts, too...) Everyone else either doesn't notice, or they just don't care. (Or they do notice, and I don't notice them noticing? D: Pfft, I can sense when someone has 'romantic' feelings towards me, but with sexual feelings I become dense. xD) Or I do notice and I'm playing stupid to get out of an awkward situation...

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Potentially yes, and potentially yes to the giving off vibes, although I've never been told either specifically. I think because I don't really dress to impress anyone, don't wear make up etc.
I have been told I look "innocent" but that's probably because I look a lot younger than I am.

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Has anyone started a "how ace do I look" thread? Even if we're not voting, it could be fun to see how the different members of our community portray themselves. Most groups identify themselves by their appearances, but we're so spread out and immersed in the particular cultures of our area (even the difference between Eastern and Western Washington is staggering) that it could be fun.

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When I was a graduate student working on my PhD, I went to a place on campus to buy coffee; the lady behind the counter said I looked 12 (I was around 35 at the time.) She later apologized for the remark.

I still don't look my age, will be 43 in two weeks, but people think that I'm in my 30s. One couple thought I was in my 20s!

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I see many aces are mistaken as being much younger then they are, it's not just me, I mean even some of my neighbors ask me when I'll enter high school and I've already finished it a few years ago. I wonder if this is an ace thing.

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If it counts toward the cause, I have a resting bitch face.

Otherwise, I wouldn't know what an asexual looks like. A human being?

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spicychickensandwich

I wear makeup and feminine clothes, and I do and say things like a typical heterosexual person for the most part. I don't think anyone would think that I was asexual from my initial appearance. But once you get to know me better I probably put out an 'asexual vibe' in that I never make dirty jokes or talk about sex lives.

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as far as I understand in the sexual world tone of voice smell body language and looks all come together to make a whole.

and for som reason asexuals tent to not vibrate on these things in the right way for the potential predators out there.

ergo our natural defence is ignorant bliss.

ok ok I admit it I have no idea what I am talking about.

there are so many videos with sience of pheromones and atraction out there so obviously I get all kinds of weird ideas about why I have never atracted any one to me.

but I doubt that looks is the main factor I actually think looks is a verry minor factor.

just my 2cent hope somone can understand my junbled thots.

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Well society is always quick to label.i always remember that people who dont understand things like asexuality probably dont mean to offend you or whatever. Some people just give off a certain vibe i guess.

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  • 2 weeks later...
AlwaysBeKorra

Fun topic ;) I think people in general who describe me as looking like a typical Danish Copenhagen girl, like I wear some makeup and clothes that's more feminine than masculine, and I like having my hair long. But I don't like wearing heals (so unhealthy) and dresses (just... no) or frilly jewelry. If I felt like I could, I'd wear a bit more boyish clothes. I still like to look pretty, though, but they way I see pretty. :) My friends all think I'm (hetero)sexual, and somewhat of a tomboy.

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  • 1 month later...

I imagine if there was ever a stereotypical look for asexuals it would be nerdy, a prominent and maybe "fancy" sort of dress style with an off-center tie and weird shoulder straps on a dress, and a fez or something. Probably also an unnatural hair colour and black ring.

Being a short, scrawny, and frail kinda fella, most people assume that I'm a very shy straight boy or I'm gay until/unless I tell them what I really am, and then they seem to think "Oh yeah I could totally see that." Guess being a timid and quiet sort makes me seem like the kind of person who wouldn't like sex... unless I'm really the kind of person who is just too shy for it. *loud shrugging*

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i dont think so. i've always just dressed how i like. im a rock chick so i've always dressed like that because i like it and i feel better that way. since im not trying to attract men i've never had the need (or even the slightest inclination) to dress "sexy"

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I dress like a slob when I'm not working. I came home from work and I put on some adidas shorts and whatever tshirt was on top of my stack. I don't know what kind of image I'm projecting here, but it's not one of someone looking for romance I'd say.

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DigitalBookDust

I look like an edgy hipster librarian...which is what I am! I keep my hair buzzed short and often cobalt blue, wear menswear trousers (usually olive green), a t-shirt or button-down, brogues or Docs and round blue-tinted specs. I'm usually thought to be much younger than my age (53). I'm always recognized as queer but occasionally mistaken for a teenage boy. I have that "keep quiet or die" librarian look perfected and must give off asexy vibes, since no-one EVER flirts with me (quite a relief, too).

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dandelionfluff

I look like myself. Honestly, I probably put more effort into my style of dress than a lot of allosexual women. On campus, like 80% wear leggings and a school merchandise hoodie or t-shirt, or gym shorts + t-shirt, or yoga pants, or just plain jeans + t-shirt combo. I seldom wear jeans and mostly wear dresses and skirts and such. I could care less about looking asexual but apparently I have some sort of innocent vibe. Unfortunately, that still attracts the creeps!

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Maelstrom_17

I personally think it's ridiculous that someone can attempt to try to catch someone's "vibes" and try to tell that someone is asexual unless you ask them. Honestly, there is no way to know for sure unless you ask someone. The same thing goes for people who look "gay" or "bisexual" or "lesbian."

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I look strong, lean, chiseled with tattoos (more coming), menacing hair, not much makeup, tribal styling, men purse, Eurasian......fierce but approachable........def asexual....or not.

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kiaroskuro

Not sure ... but I don't think I come across as heterosexual. That's fine by me. ^^

Do I give off asexual vibes? Most probably.

When I was a graduate student working on my PhD, I went to a place on campus to buy coffee; the lady behind the counter said I looked 12 (I was around 35 at the time.) She later apologized for the remark.

I still don't look my age, will be 43 in two weeks, but people think that I'm in my 30s. One couple thought I was in my 20s!

I can relate to this ...

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People must assess who my personality is better that I think because alot of my actions in certain sexual based conversations can be considered more sexual than alot of the non aces are willing to do. Like my friend has even called me the sexual asexual because of it too. Yet people still seem to know I'm ace in that I'm only asked the question of if I'm even interested once by my new grandmother in law. I doubt its how I dress because its quite typical for a teen but I think people just recognize I don't fit into society in most of my other qualities and all so i assume they kinda guess from there.

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Jacinta13

My style is incredibly feminine, as in, I have a large bust and hips with a tiny waist, and I wear a lot of 50s-inspired dresses complete with petticoats. Most people seem to assume I'm bi/pan but apparently I look like a 'make you work for it' sort of person which I quite like, too hot to touch works for me most of the time, and I get to look great. It helps that I wear 'mature' styles and am generally considered to be older than I am, most people do a double take when I state my age. Unfortunately when I do get hit on they are usually the most persistent sleazes around.

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bicoastal

I dont think I dress like an asexual (or if thats a thing? -- Ace fashion: lots of purple and gray?) but I think I might give off ace "vibes" or something. I've never had anyone be surprised that I was ace, it was just a neutral thing to them, like they could see that I would be. I think its probably just how I interact with people *shrug*

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If looking asexual means not dressing to impress, then I probably do. I prefer to dress like a nerd. Anime t-shirts, anime and/or band wristbands, a bandana with an anime pin, sneakers...or just casual clothes. More recently I've gotten interested in "nice looking" casual clothes. Like, somewhat decorative. When I was a teen I didn't care how I dressed but I'm coming out of that now. I dislike wearing anything that's very tight or too revealing.

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Have no idea if I look asexual or not, as my appearance is confusing as hell for most people to begin with. Being extremely small, I usually wear informal boys' clothing because no adult sizes fit me and I'm too cheap to get stuff tailor-made. It has sort of a relativisitic effect; people take me for a kid at a distance, but my percievable age red-shifts drastically as they get close.... :blush:

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