Arctangent Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Yeah, I know not everyone's a fan, but I've always enjoyed the occasional tickle. I'm kind of particular about it - I get irritated if someone tickles me when I'm not in the mood. If I'm cuddling with someone and they throw in a little tickle, though, I generally enjoy that. I'm really touch-sensitive, so it doesn't take much. :P I can understand the masochistic angle of it, too. I like the idea of being tickled into submission. It's been a long time since I've been tickled until it hurt, but that combination of euphoria and pain from laughter is something I oddly enjoy. Considering it would make sense to establish a safeword to do that, I guess it counts as a nonsexual kink, which is kind of funny considering how innocent it seems. :lol: I'm in "not in the mood" mode for everyone other than a romantic partner as far as tickling goes, actually. Mostly because I'm not very prone to touch with friends, and that includes tickling. I only enjoyed being tickled in a romantic context. It never did go as far as hurting me, though... it just exhausted me because we'd have tickle fights and walk around or move on the sofa/bed wildly (to the point we had to be careful we weren't randomly hitting stuff), and all of my energies would be completely drawn out afterwards. :lol: Friends and acquaintances alike have tried tickling me, but it was generally annoying. I'm extremely sensitive on most zones of my body and I really don't like solicitation. There was this one time last winter when a person from my uni ambushed me and tickled me lightly from behind once... I literally jumped up three staircase steps in a split second then. Yeah, I'm pretty picky in general when it comes to being touched, which includes tickling. I actively dislike being touched by people whom I wouldn't consider my friends (and since I have a somewhat strict definition of "friends," that includes most people I know). With friends I'm not sensually attracted to, I'm typically more comfortable with brief and/or light forms of contact (hugs, sitting close together, etc.), and my attitudes in that case range from indifference to mild enjoyment. There has to be both an emotional bond and strong feelings of affection on my part (what I once would have called "romantic attraction," before I started having issues with the "romantic" term) for me to strongly desire and enjoy sensual contact, and as a result it's not something that happens very often. Even then, sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Like you, I'm quite sensitive and easily overstimulated, so I don't like surprise tickle attacks either. :P In the right context, though, tickle fights like the kind you described sound like a lot of fun to me. As for the pain component, I wouldn't want it to hurt a lot... it's just that sense of laughing until I start to feel tired and sore that I like. I imagine having a calm-down snuggle afterward would be nice as well. I have a handful of mild sensual kinks like this that aren't particularly hardcore, but involve certain headspaces that I would be interested to explore with an intimate partner, given the opportunity. It's certainly not mandatory, as I'm satisfied just fine with solely vanilla sensual contact. (I can't believe I'm seriously writing about tickle fights. This has got to be the strangest post I've made on AVEN thus far. :lol:) Link to post Share on other sites
AppleEye Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I am incredibly sensual. It just feels so natural and right for me to feel my partner. I love touching and cuddling. I do not like kissing, I guess that falls more under the sexual spectrum for me. More than anything, if there was no pressure for sex, I'd like to sleep naked with my partner, that would just feel so intimate and wonderful to me. However, I would prefer for my partner to wear underwear however. Here's my colored list: (Good call on coloring the list by the way) holding hands hugs cuddling with clothes on cuddling with clothes off caressing massages kissing the body kissing the mouth kissing the face belly rubs playing with hair touching bare skin deliberate/prolonged eye contact synced breathing co-sleeping dance Like I said, I don't like mouth kissing. I'm too ticklish for belly rubs, and somehow that wouldn't seem very romantic to me anyway. I have no idea what synced breathing would mean, like, would you purposely go out of your way to breath at the same time? Or do you mean like mouths connected and breathing together? Also, I think that I may be more comfortable being sensual with another ace, but only if they were also very sensual so that I knew they could fully appreciate the situation. But with an ace, I could at least know that they were appreciating it in the way that I am, rather than feeling aroused. Although, I do think a sexual person does have the potential to distinguish sensuality from sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
NinjaRobot Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Stealing the idea from someone else, I shall bold what I enjoy! holding hands hugs cuddling with clothes on cuddling with clothes off - as long as underwear stays on caressing - not even sure what counts as this massages - yesyesYES! Though more in terms of "I bloody love massages and everyone is allowed to massage me!" kissing the body kissing the mouth kissing the face - like cheeks and forehead? I guess so belly rubs - I HATE being touched on the stomach. It makes me feel like I'm having a baby or something. playing with hair - like with the massages, everyone is allowed to play with my hair touching bare skin - like back and stuff? deliberate/prolonged eye contact - I find eye contact creepy synced breathing - what? This is a conscious thing? co-sleeping - does that mean sleeping in the same bed? If so, yes dance - I would like slow-dancing and whatnot, but no-one slow-dances anymore and I can't dance Can't actually think of anything else. I think I would be more comfortable being sensual with another ace. Back when I was with my last boyfriend, whenever we made out I would always be anxious that it would lead to him wanting a blow job or or wanting to touch me. But with another ace I could just enjoy the moment without any pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
artemisofephesus Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Ooh, a checklist! Aces like checklists. :P I'm kind of confused that no-one is differentiating between doing and receiving though... But I guess that's only for some of these things really. holding hands - is good hugs - BEST THINGS EVER. cuddling with clothes on - Since finding out what this actually involves, definitely yes. cuddling with clothes off - Um, no. I don't have anything against being naked, but it just seems kind of pointless when clothes are physically more comfortable. caressing - Don't quite understand the concept, and also, ticklish. Anything that tickles = not good. massages - Pretty awesome. kissing the body- Fine with being kissed, but don't really get the urge to myself at all. kissing the mouth - Even less urge. kissing the face - Same as above. belly rubs - Why? That's just weird. Also, still kind of sensitive about my belly, though trying to get over it. playing with hair - Isn't that the point of hair? :D touching bare skin - Generally fine? Just not boobs and underwear-covered things. Or anything like that. deliberate/prolonged eye contact - For a while. Then it starts to get awkward and I start being all 'why is this a thing people do?' synced breathing - Huh? co-sleeping - Never used to like this because I could never sleep properly, but it seems to work a lot better with my person. dance - One day, when there is proper music, I will crazy dance in front of my person. :P As for slow dancing/that thing they do in movies? I would like to try that some day, just because it looks like hugging to music. Obviously, that would be awesome. This is actually a really interesting thread. Chiming in on the tickling thing - how does anyone stand it??? I find tickling horrible and if anyone tries to tickle me I get pretty wild. I've been thinking about all this sort of thing a lot lately. I'm aromantic and most of this stuff doesn't even make a blip on the sexual radar or anything. I don't associate it with anything erotic or sexual or even sensual (I don't know, I find all those words slightly uncomfortable). Some things I really like and occasionally even crave - like hugs and lying next to my person snuggled up to them, and sitting close on the sofa and just feeling him there. I think that's what I like about physical stuff most - the solidity, the warmth, the connectedness. Other things, smaller things like kisses and caresses? They're nice enough, but I don't really connect with them as much, and I really don't have the urge to do them myself. This is probably going to sound weird, but I'm more comfortable touching/being close with bodies rather than things that involve hands (except holding hands, because, well, it's holding hands), mostly on my end. Hands and faces, and hands on faces. I don't think I really like that. See, faces on faces (or foreheads on foreheads to be precise) is good, but hands on faces just feels different. It's weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I'm kind of confused that no-one is differentiating between doing and receiving though... But I guess that's only for some of these things really. I did so in my reply, for a few of the points. :) Link to post Share on other sites
NinjaRobot Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 :P I'm kind of confused that no-one is differentiating between doing and receiving though... Good point! I'll add some stuff to what I do: Massages - receiving, yes! But I'm not big on giving them. Maybe because I'm selfish and they feel so nice, but my excuse is that I suck at giving them, which is also true. Kissing the face - if it's like cheeks and forehead, then I guess both. Playing with hair - he can play with my hair whenever. I'll play with his when we make-out. Link to post Share on other sites
Neytiri Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 holding hands =Nothing wrong with that hugs =Acceptable as long as it's not too oftenkissing the mouth =only without tongueplaying with hair =why notdeliberate/prolonged eye contact =I think I can't hold my laugh but I wouldn't mind itsynced breathing= I don't really know what that is.... :redface: co-sleeping =Nicedance =I can't dance but I won't mind it Link to post Share on other sites
words are futile devices Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 This is probably going to sound weird, but I'm more comfortable touching/being close with bodies rather than things that involve hands (except holding hands, because, well, it's holding hands), mostly on my end. Hands and faces, and hands on faces. I don't think I really like that. See, faces on faces (or foreheads on foreheads to be precise) is good, but hands on faces just feels different. It's weird. No, I think I understand what you're saying. For me, I've never wanted that more "direct" (?) physical contact, even with someone I really like. In the past, I've had crushes on guys and would just dream about lying next to them and looking at the stars, with our arms lightly touching, and nothing more. One time at somebody's house, years ago, my crush and I were sitting next to each other, Indian-style, and I stealthily sat close enough to him that our knees made contact. Stuff like that I've always loved. The slightest, most subtle form of physical touch that's enough to let me know he's close to me, but nothing "over the top" (even holding hands can be a little too much to think about...I guess I really like my space). Is that sort of what you're talking about? Maybe I'm totally off. Link to post Share on other sites
Purnkin Spurce Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I consider almost all of the above sensual. Except hair twirling, hugging, hand holding. I do those things with my bestie and other girlfriends all the time. Everything else is how I'd like to get close to another fellow female ace. Because I know it won't turn into anything sexual, it wont' be expected, and we can be ourselves. We can find a deep sensual connection without even doing one sexual thing in our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Philiarocks Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Oddly, a couple of my personal favourite ways of expressing physical affection are just little, not overly tactile things, like linking arms and giving eskimo kisses. ^_^ I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? For me, I guess they're quite closely linked. I tend to find myself opening up a lot when I'm lying in my partner's arms, to the point where I'm babbling mushiness sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
I Shot the Serif Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 "How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy?" Very close. Makes me feel comfortable and secure and happy. ^_^ And a note - when my now-boyfriend first held my hand, I had no objection to it, even though I had never been very touchy with anyone else ever. I felt that because it was him, fine, because he was special. He once remarked that he was happy that I seemed to have "physical attraction" to him if not sexual, whatever that means. Well, if I do, I think it's entirely emotionally linked. Link to post Share on other sites
Geo Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? Inseparable. I don't want emotional intimacy to be lacking sensual(or sexual) things. I don't want sensual thing(or any kind of touching) without emotional intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? For me, I guess they're quite closely linked. I tend to find myself opening up a lot when I'm lying in my partner's arms, to the point where I'm babbling mushiness sometimes. Very closely linked. But I think I've got relatively liberal and open standards with this... eg. In my perfect world, it would be normal to be quite touchy-feely with just about any friend whom you find (mutually!) cute. It's not necessarily something that's "romantic" to me or has to be reserved for "partners". I'd be fine being cuddle buddies with just about all close female friends. From my point of view, it feels like it's society's boundaries that are keeping a lid on that. But I guess I can also understand that for some people it might naturally lead to sex, etc. But yeah, I certainly don't want to do any kind of sensual touch with a total random. There has to be at least an "affectionate friendship" level of emotional intimacy for me to get comfortable with any kind of intimate touch - beyond handshakes or quick hugs I guess (or whatever is seen as normal unattached greeting contact in a given culture). Link to post Share on other sites
MeowtasticMeg Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 holding hands (yes!) hugs (yes!!) cuddling with clothes on (yessss) cuddling with clothes off (eh...I could do without) caressing (not really) massages (yes!) kissing the body (not really) kissing the mouth (definitely) kissing the face (mhm) belly rubs (no.....that's weird) playing with hair (yeah) touching bare skin (I could do without it) deliberate/prolonged eye contact (I find it creepy) synced breathing (not really sure what that does) co-sleeping (if there is enough room, yes.) dance (gosh yes) Link to post Share on other sites
ForensicLogician Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 holding hands (really depends on the person) hugs (well, it depends, I like tight hugs, but the light ones just feel… I don't know they just give me this creepy-crawley feeling) cuddling with clothes on (yup) cuddling with clothes off ( Oh god no) caressing (… what?) massages (nope, no no no, not happening) kissing the body (um… I'm thinking not) kissing the mouth (Er… it really depends on how romantically attracted I am to the person, but sometimes, possibly) kissing the face (Maybe, I guess) belly rubs (Meh.) playing with hair (Yes, absolutely) touching bare skin (well that's very vague, it depends) deliberate/prolonged eye contact (Eye contact kind of scares me most of the time, so probably not) synced breathing (Wait, is that even a thing? I had no idea that was a thing.) co-sleeping (intriguing idea… not sure) dance (Maybe) Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Yeah, I definitely think it'd make me more comfortable if the other person was ace too, just because i'd know they wouldn't try making it lead to anything sexual. Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? I'm not sure really… I don't think so. Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? Romantic. I'm really not comfortable with physical contact at all unless I'm romantically attracted to the person. Link to post Share on other sites
passionatefriend61 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? For me, I guess they're quite closely linked. I tend to find myself opening up a lot when I'm lying in my partner's arms, to the point where I'm babbling mushiness sometimes. Hi, PR! *waves* If we're talking actual sensual attraction, then my sensual attraction is specifically the result of emotional attraction/attachment/love. But I've also discovered, tentatively, that sensual touch works in reverse too: it can help create emotional attachment or loving feelings in me, if done over a period of time with someone I start out relatively unemotional about. I'm open to being sensually physical with people I don't love and maybe don't even know that well because ultimately, the physical pleasure of it is there for me with or without an emotional connection to the other person. (Sex works the same way for a lot of sexual people, obviously.) Emotional pleasure from sensual touch, which is way more pleasurable than the physical by itself, definitely only happens if I love the person I'm being physical with. And that emotional pleasure and sense of feeling loved is my primary motivation for wanting sensual touch in my life. But if I have the opportunity to get sensual touch/intimacy with someone I don't love, I'm still going to take advantage of it..... That may also have something to do with the fact that I'm so starved for sensual touch at this point, that I don't even care any more if it's based in love or not! Link to post Share on other sites
Dahlia Blues Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Is it possible that I have a skin fetish? I find that Bare skin is eternally fascinating. Watching a pulse. Lingering on a twitch as it arises to the surface. Touching sinew and muscle. Following a fiber to its origin of disappearance. Discovering the fatty deposits and rolling them under the hands, at the joint where fingers attach to palm. Holding the skin fold there like an old blanket. Also, I like to smell and lick and kiss. Every surface seemingly very different. Used or exposed variously, the textures and attributes change. I trace my fingers through any accumulated sweat like running over a fogged window pane. I hunt for the imperfections and wonder about the story. How did that happen. How old were you. What did you do. I crave the feeling of bare skin to bare skin. It makes me happy. To be linked at the belly. I can feel another human breathing. And feel safer. The rise and fall of a chest cavity, the lukewarm exhale. Or to be held in fetal position. A burrowing into my neck. A limp sex sleeping between my thighs. I marvel at how vulnerable and fragile we all are --and yet we can get up and walk away. But of course the problem is that it has always turned sexual. Always. Unfortunately, I have never been with another Ace. What freedom to be able to express a desire to cling....without the inevitably intrusive sex act. What a privilege. I look forward to that day. To that hopeful encounter. Otherwise, clothed, I am able to hug, kiss on the cheek and caress lightly my longtime friends and family. It's all I have now. Link to post Share on other sites
^Vampire^ Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 holding hands - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. hugs - 100% like it and my partner should like them, too. cuddling with clothes on - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. cuddling with clothes off - When there are no nude genitals at all, 100% like it and it's not mandatory that my partner like it. caressing - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. massages - 100% like it and my partner should like them, too. kissing the body - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. kissing the mouth - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. kissing the face - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. belly rubs - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. playing with hair - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. touching bare skin - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. deliberate/prolonged eye contact - No. Yikes! synced breathing - 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. co-sleeping - I like it but not always and my partner should like it. dance - Yay! 100% like it and my partner should like it, too. whispers on the ears - Yay! 100% like it and my partner should like them, too. fetishes - Yay! 100% like it and my partner should accept them. Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? I never date sexual people at all. I'm not interested in them at all. My comfort level with sensual touch is only influenced by the quality of relationship with an asexual partner. Society doesn't influence me at all. Sensual touching is romantic to me. I would have it with an asexual romantic partner as a way to show her the love I felt for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Some-Infinities Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 In your intimate relationships, whether they're romantic or nonromantic, whether they're traditional couple relationships or romantic friendships or queerplatonic relationships, whether they're closed or open, how much sensual touching do you want ideally? Try to answer imagining that there is never any pressure or chance of sensual touch turning into sex, ever. Sensual touching includes but is not limited to the following: holding hands hugs cuddling with clothes on cuddling with clothes off caressing massages kissing the body kissing the mouth kissing the face belly rubs playing with hair touching bare skin deliberate/prolonged eye contact synced breathing co-sleeping dance Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? Bold points are what I'm comfortable with, for now. For me, a lot of those would lead to sex or at least an expectation of sex and I am completely uncomfortable with that so it would put me off. I have an issue with naked bodies but I think that's more of a confidence issue. As to whether or not I'd prefer being sensual with another ace, yes I think I would. Knowing that they didn't want anything more than what I wanted and that there was no need for compromise sounds perfect. Yet my boyfriend, who is sexual, understands me on a whole other level and he has never expected anything more than love from me. Link to post Share on other sites
I Shot the Serif Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Yet my boyfriend, who is sexual, understands me on a whole other level and he has never expected anything more than love from me. This. Those make the best boyfriends. Link to post Share on other sites
A Taste of Harmony Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Funny to see that some people worry about those things because it might build up to sexual contact. For me I worry more about those coming from 'romantic' context.. Most of those things remind me of more of therapeutic/parent looking after the child/looking after patient in hospital kind of way, and under those context, I'm happy to 'give' but neutral with 'receiving' except message, I need that for my better blood circulation. :P Under 'romantic' context I would feel weird about most of it and probably lose interest. :P Link to post Share on other sites
Linctagon Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Wouldn't know, never been in a romantic relationship. In general, I don't like people touching me at all. I hate kissing my aunts and female cousins. Don't want to hug either but do it as to not hurt people's feelings. Mostly I just partake in physichal contact that is mandatory in a social setting. If I were to ever be intimate with someone, which is basically impossible based on my criteria which is detached from reality, I would be ok with many of those things. I think I would enjoy cuddling and hugging then. Kissing yes, but maybe not too much or anything that envolves a tongue in my mouth. Naked cuddling... Nah. Basically anything that would not invade my space too much would be fine. A relationship with another Asexual, sure. If there is true love there. A special bond between two people. Something which is very hard to find. Otherwise I wouldn't even persue any form of relationship whatsoever. Yeah, I'm like a super-loner haha. Link to post Share on other sites
TheNaughtyNeutrois Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 holding hands hugs cuddling with clothes on cuddling with clothes off caressing massages kissing the body kissing the mouth kissing the face belly rubs playing with hair touching bare skin deliberate/prolonged eye contact synced breathing co-sleeping dance All the red ones, I simply CANNOT do. Eye contact especially. I equate eye contact, caressing and massages with being in a romantic relationship. Things like playing with hair and kisses on the lips, I have *HAVE* to have utmost trust in the person beforehand. It's personally intimate to me. Touching bare skin, being naked, having naked cuddles or clothed cuddles. I personally find clothes a complete bother and I'd be happily nude around others I trust if it wasn't so taboo. However, nude cuddles seem to escalate to sex in my circumstances and eh.. just gets boring after that point. :( Hugs... its kinda meh. I don't mind friendly hugs or hugs with parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Slizzy26 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 In your intimate relationships, whether they're romantic or nonromantic, whether they're traditional couple relationships or romantic friendships or queerplatonic relationships, whether they're closed or open, how much sensual touching do you want ideally? Try to answer imagining that there is never any pressure or chance of sensual touch turning into sex, ever. Sensual touching includes but is not limited to the following: holding hands hugs cuddling with clothes on cuddling with clothes off caressing massages kissing the body kissing the mouth kissing the face belly rubs playing with hair touching bare skin deliberate/prolonged eye contact synced breathing co-sleeping dance Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? I've thought about this alot, actually. The main thing I would add before I answer is that I would prefer any sensual contact to take place in private, I am not comfortable with public displays of affection. That being said, I have bolded the items that most appeal to me. As for cuddling with clothes off, that would depend on the person I am with and the way we have organized the relationship. Ideally the cuddling with clothes off would just feel like a romantic activity shared between two people who are completely comfortable with each other and not as a precursor to sex. I think right now, I would feel more comfortable in a relationship with another asexual person, because we would be able to understand the way we are perceiving the relationship and there would be no sexual pressure. However, if I were emotionally attracted to a sexual person that would be willing to respect my boundaries and have a relationship with me, that would be fine as well. It would take alot of detailed communication of needs, wants and expectations, but that is necessary in any relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
artemisofephesus Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? For me, I guess they're quite closely linked. I tend to find myself opening up a lot when I'm lying in my partner's arms, to the point where I'm babbling mushiness sometimes. Good question - and on a related note, does anyone find there's some sort of plateau for that feeling? Is there a point where more physical affection just doesn't translate into more emotional connection any more? Link to post Share on other sites
sarahhhha Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I really hate kissing..pecks and closed mouth kisses are fine. Holding hands and hugging/cuddling is about as far as I'd like to go Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I was also wondering if thread members wouldn't mind me asking... How closely linked are sensual things and emotional intimacy? For me, I guess they're quite closely linked. I tend to find myself opening up a lot when I'm lying in my partner's arms, to the point where I'm babbling mushiness sometimes. Adding a vote to the "very closely linked" bunch. I wouldn't be comfortable being physically affectionate with someone I wasn't very emotionally attached to, and vice versa. As mentioned before, I only like contact in a romantic context, and normally avoid it. I'm very much like Linctagon with relatives: I only take hugs and such because some people expect them of me... and some of them already think of me as an unconcerned, detached academician who's supposedly "above their terrestrial issues", so I try my best to persuade them otherwise. :P Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 More than ever now, I'm thinking there ought to be a matching program with these variables, so we can see it all out in front as to how asexuals match up with each other. Even finding another asexual is only the beginning, as there are so many variances in compatibility, it makes the head spin. I like a few others have worried that my interest in touch may seem to sexual for some asexuals, even though it doesn't have that intention from me. Ah, life is complicated. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
lapislazuli Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Judging by the list I guess I'm not sensual at all. I'm not averse to touching and will happily hug or kiss friends if it's the social/cultural norm. I don't feel the need to cuddle or hold hands and honestly to me it's just a symbolic action, I don't feel any different doing it. So yeah I think I can undergo most actions on the list but the sensual/emotional result will not be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I give you all my answers: holding hands - normal to me, why not hugs - very awkward, but works fine cuddling with clothes on - ofc cuddling with clothes off - Thats just awkward caressing - depends on where massages - no, atleast not on me kissing the body - depends on where, kiss my knees if you wanna, but anything between the knees and lower neck - No. kissing the mouth - sure, why not, but using the tongue is usually more awkward than nice kissing the face - leave my eyes out of it. belly rubs - WHAT? Rubbing...belly? What... playing with hair - sure, just dont make it look like its been in a storm touching bare skin - depends on where, hands = ok, arms = ok, neck = ok, face = ok, back = ok. And yet again... you can touch me knees if ya wanna deliberate/prolonged eye contact - thats awkward, some seconds work fine enough, to just stare all the time seems....somewhat boring and awkward. synced breathing - who the hell thinks about these things? co-sleeping - alright sometimes, but I wanna be alone in my bed most of the times. dance - I suck at dancing. Now... I would only truly enjoy these things if I met "the one" and performed them with "the one", I dont think I will ever meet that "one" so this will purely be fun-facts for all of you. Enjoy o.o Link to post Share on other sites
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