How sensual do you want to be?

[Rochnariel]

• holding hands - Sure
• hugs - definitely
• cuddling with clothes on - yup, most definitely. I love cuddling
• cuddling with clothes off - ehhh... I amend my previous statement. I love clothed cuddling
• caressing - uh huh. At least once I trusted someone, but that goes for the whole list.
• massages - Yes. I may even be persuaded to naked cuddling if the person gets the knots out of my shoulders because it has never happened
• kissing the body - depends on the area. Shoulders and up and knees and down are all good. Others may be okay...eventually
• kissing the mouth - short light kisses, maybe. I would do it but I am not a fan.
• kissing the face - yeah, I suppose. Just not a fan of kissing anywhere too much
• belly rubs - I guess. Seems odd to want to do but I have no objection
• playing with hair - yes
• touching bare skin - for the most part ok, depends on the area of the body
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact - ummm... I'm not comfortable with it but I would do it if asked
• synced breathing - I've had it happen unconsciously but never consciously tried for it
• co-sleeping - so long as there were clothes involved
• dance - yes, please. I like dancing

[Philiarocks]

With my platonic partner:

• holding hands- Yes!
  
• hugs- YES! Best thing ever!
  
• cuddling with clothes on- Absolutely! Actually, this is the best thing ever!
  
• cuddling with clothes off- Never tried it, but I don't think either of us would be comfortable with that.
  
• caressing- Always seems to tickle, so no.
  
• massages- One of our favourite forms of intimacy.
  
• kissing the body- Yes, but only in areas which aren't sexually sensitive.
  
• kissing the mouth- Nope! We swap books and ideas, not saliva!
  
• kissing the face- Why not?
  
• belly rubs- Huh? Brings good luck, I suppose.
  
• playing with hair- Lovely.
  
• touching bare skin- See my answer for 'kissing the body.'
  
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact- Feels wonderful.
  
• synced breathing- Never tried it.
  
• co-sleeping- Yes, but I worry that I snore!
  
• dance- Not opposed to it, but not really my thing.
  

[Azure.Providence]

Seems like most people aren't fans of naked cuddling. Shame, I had an opportunity to do that once and it was amazing.

[JAKQ7111]

In your intimate relationships, whether they're romantic or nonromantic, whether they're traditional couple relationships or romantic friendships or queerplatonic relationships, whether they're closed or open, how much sensual touching do you want ideally?

Try to answer imagining that there is never any pressure or chance of sensual touch turning into sex, ever.

Sensual touching includes but is not limited to the following:

• holding hands
• hugs
• cuddling with clothes on
• cuddling with clothes off...just...not for me
• caressing (depends on what you mean by that)
• massages
• kissing the body
• kissing the mouth
• kissing the face
• belly rubs
• playing with hair This is one that my partner and I do frequently
• touching bare skin (depends on where)
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact (sometimes...other times I just get too awkward)
• synced breathing (?)
• co-sleeping
• dance (I don't really dance)

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship?

I think I'd be more comfortable being sensual with an ace, but it wouldn't be a problem for a sexual person, either. My current partner is sexual, and we don't have any real awkwardness about our sensual activity. I am also the type of person who can have very sensual relationships with people, and not have it be romantic, if that means anything.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Holding hands - Mandatory. But not necessarily non-stop. eg. Constantly when walking in public gets a bit clingy and much sometimes.

Hugs - Mandatory.

Cuddling (clothes) - Mandatory.

Cuddling (naked) - Depends on the exact nature of the relationship.

Caressing - Not quite absolutely mandatory, but it does come quite natural to me.

Massages - I love both giving and receiving. Not totally mandatory though necessarily.

Kissing the body - Depends on the exact nature of the relationship.

Kissing the mouth - Depends on the exact nature of the relationship.

Kissing the face - Mandatory. I especially have a thing for kisses on the forehead.

Belly rubs - Eh.

Playing with hair - I like stroking hair, not necessarily "playing" with it any other way.

Touching bare skin - Mandatory.

Synced breathing - Eh.

Co-sleeping - Negotiable how often it happens. But mandatory that it's at least allowed sometimes.

Dancing - Eh.

Where I said "Depends on the exact nature of the relationship", I'm mostly thinking of a "chaste cuddle buddies" sort of scenario. I'm fine with taking or leaving those points depending on what the other person wants. eg. If they don't want more "hardcore" things like full-on making out or being naked, that's fine with me. But with a person who wants to do these things I'm fine too.

Nothing here is really specifically "romantic" to me, necessarily. I could do it with affectionate friends who are on the same page. But my entire definition of what's "romantic" or not is so out of whack with what most people seem to think of as "romantic", that I don't even see much point making a clear distinction there any more. :lol:

[Arctangent]

Answering this kind of question is always kind of funny for me, since my desired level of sensual contact varies quite a bit from person to person. Anything from complete touch-aversion to very strong sensual desire is possible for me, depending on the amount of trust, affection, and emotional closeness in a relationship. Assuming an emotionally intimate relationship (whatever form that happens to take), no sexual component whatsoever, and mutual sensual attraction (note that there would likely still be some variation depending on the precise nature of the relationship and how I feel about the other person.):

• holding hands: yes.
• hugs: yes.
• cuddling with clothes on: one of my favorite things in the world, so definitely yes.
• cuddling with clothes off: never tried it - might be willing to try with shorts or underwear only.
• caressing: another one of my favorite things, especially when coupled together with cuddling, so yes.
• massages: yes, on occasion.
• kissing the body: sounds nice, would be willing to try.
• kissing the mouth: I go back and forth on whether I'd like this one, would probably have to try it first.
• kissing the face: sounds nice, would be willing to try.
• belly rubs: probably not.
• playing with hair: sometimes yes, sometimes no - I'd prefer to be asked first.
• touching bare skin: sounds nice, would be willing to try (although some places would be off-limits).
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact: maybe.
• synched breathing: maybe.
• co-sleeping: would be nice as an option, but it's not necessary.
• dance: probably not.

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person?

I would say yes - in an ace-ace relationship, I would expect there to be fewer potential concerns with having mismatched intentions. I'm okay with sensual contact with a sexual person as long as I know we're on the same page, though. I've met a few sexual people who handle nonsexual physical contact quite well, actually.

Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching?

Yeah, I think it does play into certain anxieties I have about touch as well as my aversion to touch with people I don't know all that well.

Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship?

Potato. :lol:

(I'm essentially non-cognitivist toward the word "romantic" at the moment, so I can't really answer this question in a straightforward way.)

[byanyotherusername]

• holding hands - Yes!
• hugs - Yes!
• cuddling with clothes on - Yes!
• cuddling with clothes off - Never tried it, though I have cuddled with very little clothing on...I know a lot of people feel more "free" or whatever but I'm not really a big fan of being naked, except when bathing. Possibly could work my way up to it by cuddling in the bath? XD I just don't see what the point would be, and unless the person I was doing it with was ace, I can't imagine it not being sexual for them/turning them on.
• caressing - Sure?
• massages - Yes!
• kissing the body - Mhmm. I especially like kisses on the shoulders/neck, but in general I just like the feelings of being so comfortable with people that I can just lean over and kiss them anywhere skin is showing, and vice versa.
• kissing the mouth - See above.
• kissing the face - See above.
• belly rubs - The few times this has occured has been more in a context of being goofy, then to be "sensual" really, but I'm fine with it.
• playing with hair - Yes!
• touching bare skin - Well, what bare skin? I'm okay with everything except overtly sexual touching, but I don't feel a desire to specifically touch body parts that aren't generally covered by clothes, with the possible exception of shoulders, and backs when it comes to massage...
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact - Fine with it, but don't specifically desire it.
• synced breathing - You know, I've never felt a specific desire for it, but once I mentioned to a guy that I cuddled with that I thought that I had smaller lungs than most people (I am petite) because I seemed to breathe faster. He immediately said "that makes perfect sense, I used to try and sync our breathing when we cuddled and could never get it!" I thought he was just doing it for the heck of it--what is one of the things you find yourself paying attention to when cuddling with another person if there is no conversation? Breathing. But, now that I think about it more, I do see how it could make you feel more connected to breath in sync with the other person during these close, quiet times. Too bad I probably don't have the lung capacity for it. XD
• co-sleeping - Yes.
• dance - Yes, especially in the rain!

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person?

I've never cuddled with another ace, so I don't know. But, since I only cuddle with people I trust, I don't think it would make that substantial a difference. I also don't particularly mind if someone gets turned on when cuddling with me, or sees some aspect of it as sexual, as long as they respect my boundaries and that's not the only reason why they're cuddling with me. I'm even okay if we happen to stumble upon some activity I enjoy/don't mind that turns them on, and they occasionally cuddle with me specifically to partake in that activity, so long as they cuddle with me to be affectionate, not just to get off, most of the time (and as long getting turned on doesn't cause them to push for more, obviously).

Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching?

Probably...but I think that has steadily changed in recent years. I've gotten a lot more comfortable with most touch that isn't overtly sexual. It mostly just forces me to be cautious making physical contact with people I don't know very well.

Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship?

Nothing is romantic to me...Sensual touching can happen in any relationship where I know I can trust the other person. I enjoy it more with close friends and family, but many of the activities on this list I would also do in a casual friendship, so long as I felt completely safe. Things like co-sleeping, and certainly naked cuddling if that ever happened, would be limited to people I loved deeply. I like to express my affection physically, but I don't have certain physical activities that are "must haves" even if I really enjoy them. I used to partake in a lot fewer forms of physical affection, but had a lot of friends I hugged on an almost daily basis (in high school, so I saw them every weekday), could sit squished up to next to or lean against when we hung out, and occasionally hand-holding or lap-sitting might have been thrown in there (oh, and playing with hair definitely!), and that was always more than enough to keep me happy.

[passionatefriend61]

Thanks for your answer, everybody!

I guess I should answer my own questions, huh? Deep down, I am a very, very sensual person and sensual touching is a major part of my ideal intimate relationships. (I don't classify them as "romantic" or "nonromantic," and I'm in no way monogamous.) I know that in my relationship with a male life partner, I want tons and tons of sensual touching: holding hands, deep/emotional hugs, cuddling with clothes on, cuddling in our underwear, caressing each other's body, massages, kissing each other's body, experimenting with chaste kisses on the lips, deliberate eye contact when cuddling, heartbeat listening, belly rubs, scalp massages (I don't have much hair to play with, and I figure he won't either!), touching each other's bare skin when cuddling or massaging..... I want to explore breath syncing in the context of tantric sensual encounters, as well as spiritually focus our touch (which is sort of the point of tantric sensuality). I also want to use dance as a form of sensual intimacy, whether it's slow dancing or grinding or modern dance we train for in a class. And I want to explore fist fighting consensually.

Not sure how much touch and which kinds I'd enjoy with my female life partner or with any of my other passionate friends, male or female, but I'm totally open to exploring with them to figure it out.

Both my partners have to be ace because I'm committed to celibacy and specifically looking for passionate friendship/nonsexual love. For the same reasons, I highly prefer that my passionate friends be either asexual, aromantic, and/or polyamorous/relationship anarchist.

I would love it if sexual people were capable of being romantic friends or passionate friends with me and thus enjoying sensual intimacy without any sexual attraction to me or hopes for sex, but I just don't believe that that's possible or real. In an alternate universe, where it is verifiably true, I'd certainly be up for being as sensual as I am with other aces/aros, in the event that I had a relationship with a sexual person that was super emotional/loving.

I think that the more sensual/erotic activities on the list or performing any of these with a strong sensual or erotic energy does make way more sense in the context of a relationship that's intimate, loving, close, etc, as opposed to a casual, more emotionally shallow relationship. But I think something like cuddling, along with the obvious hugs and what have you, can be physically pleasurable with someone I don't love, even without the emotional pleasure/gratification.

I've been sort of naturally an outside-the-box thinker since I was a child, so I always thought of sensual touching in the context of a nonromantic and/or nonsexual relationship as totally reasonable, natural, fine, etc, and could never understand or accept the fact that sexual society didn't/doesn't see it that way. So I'm pretty sure I have no inhibitions related to sensual touch itself, even having grown up in American sexual culture. I'm very aware that sexual people sexualize sensual touching, but that doesn't have any influence whatsoever over my own desire or willingness to be sensually intimate with other aces/people I love and trust. All it influences is how I might act with sexual people.

And touch is definitely not exclusively "romantic" to me. It's loving. It's intimate. That's specific as I get.

[Guest]

With my ususal caveat of the huge difference between real life and virtual, for me (with real life biological bodies, even a quick hug is already pushing it... I'm no good at physical touch - still waiting for the complete brain uploading technology :lol: ):

• holding hands - nice, but no must have
• hugs - mandatory
• cuddling with clothes on - very nice, bordering on mandatory
• cuddling with clothes off - being more than topless myself is a no-go, but it's fine if the other is naked; generally something I could easily do without, but I'd be ok with it
• caressing - very nice bordering on mandatory as giver; nice to have as recipient
• massages - nice to have as giver; kinda meh but not a no-go as recipient
• kissing the body - ok but could easily go without as giver (entire body); kinda meh as recipient above the beltline; no-go as recipient below belt-line
• kissing the mouth - very nice to have
• kissing the face - very nice to have, bordering on mandatory
• belly rubs - nice to have
• playing with hair - very nice to have
• touching bare skin - nice to have
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact - kinda meh
• synced breathing - kinda meh
• co-sleeping - pretty much a no-go, especially if it's more than a rare exception (that one is hard to imagine virtually, anyway ;))
• dance - kinda meh, bordering on no-go... I'd make an exception for doing the Time Warp, though. ^_^

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? - Not sure... I think there's a lot more variables at play than that. Pretty sure I'd feel more comfy/confident being sensual with an aro than with a romantic person, though.

Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? - Probably not.

Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? - Nope, everything on that list is perfectly fine in non-romantic close friendships, too. I avoid romance anyway.

[Guest]

Seems like most people aren't fans of naked cuddling. Shame, I had an opportunity to do that once and it was amazing.

You're not alone, did that a few times and I liked it. ^_^

Oh, I guess I'll add a bullet to the list (if aceofhearts doesn't mind) - How comfortable do you feel about your friends/partner(s) seeing you naked in general?

[Azure.Providence]

Seems like most people aren't fans of naked cuddling. Shame, I had an opportunity to do that once and it was amazing.

You're not alone, did that a few times and I liked it. ^_^

Oh, I guess I'll add a bullet to the list (if aceofhearts doesn't mind) - How comfortable do you feel about your friends/partner(s) seeing you naked in general?

For me it highly depends on the friends comfort level. For some, all that they have ever seen is my face and arms and others pretty much have seen everything. I don't like taking my shirt off if I am not in a safe environment.

[Tenebre]

Using intimate not in the sense of sexual but knowing each other very well and being physically comfortable around each other:

• holding hands -- in all levels of friendship
  
• hugs -- Yes, please!
  
• cuddling with clothes on -- With close friends, yes
  
• cuddling with clothes off -- Er, never done this. Only if it wasn't severely awkward.
  
• caressing -- Close friends/relationships only
  
• massages -- Back, shoulder, and foot, yes (helps with my scoliosis)
  
• kissing the body -- Intimate friends only
  
• kissing the mouth -- Intimate friends only
  
• kissing the face -- Close friends only
  
• belly rubs -- I... guess? I don't know, I don't particularly see the appeal but I don't mind my belly being touched...
  
• playing with hair -- Everyone's welcome to do that (and with hair down to my waist, there's plenty to play with)
  
• touching bare skin -- Other than hands, close friends only
  
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact -- Yes, preferably with close friends
  
• synced breathing -- Deliberately? Seems a bit awkward. If it happens naturally I'm certainly not going to purposefully break the pattern, though.
  
• co-sleeping -- Close, maybe intimate friends only. Has to be someone I trust and have cuddled with previously.
  
• dance -- I make no claims to being able to dance but it sounds fun.
  

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Probably. I don't have much experience having sensual contact with people who aren't either on the ace spectrum or family so I can't really say.

Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? No. I love contact from nearly everyone (although I prefer it from people of my own gender) and don't automatically associate it with sex.

Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship? Definitely not specifically romantic and I wish that it contained less romantic connotations, especially things like co-sleeping which I feel awkward asking for but enjoy.

[C.F.L.]

For me, I think it goes something like this:

• holding hands (yes, absolutely)
• hugs (sure, I think almost everyone does that without much problem)
• cuddling with clothes on (that is pretty nice too, makes me feel warm inside)
• cuddling with clothes off (not totally against it, but not sure what the purpose is anyway)
• caressing (sure, in certain situations)
• massages (yes, because that usually feels really good, with someone that know how to give a good massage)
• kissing the body (mmm, maybe; although that's kind of wierd)
• kissing the mouth (good, no problem)
• kissing the face (sure, same as above)
• belly rubs (not sure what that does)
• playing with hair (sure)
• touching bare skin (I guess goes with a lot of the above)
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact (sure, that's always exciting and exploratory)
• synced breathing (OK, no strong feelings here)
• co-sleeping (doesn't seem to do anything interesting)
• dance (definitely, since I have been a dancer most of my life; I prefer doing solos or synch choreography; but it can be really good with a partner who knows what she is doing)

[Notte stellata]

Seems like most people aren't fans of naked cuddling. Shame, I had an opportunity to do that once and it was amazing.

I like it! My partner and I both sleep naked or just with underwear, so of course we have a lot of naked cuddling. :D

Oh, I guess I'll add a bullet to the list (if aceofhearts doesn't mind) - How comfortable do you feel about your friends/partner(s) seeing you naked in general?

Partner, no problem. We're often naked at home in summer, because it's too hot here.

Friends, depends on how close we are and how comfortable with nudity they are. If they're very uptight about nudity, I probably won't want them to see me naked, although it doesn't bother me much in and of itself. If they're very nudity-positive and I trust them very much, I don't mind being naked around them, given the right context. It could be fun and liberating, like last year when my partner and I went to a naked beach with two friends (one male and one female, who are also a couple) and we all got naked in the end. :lol:

• co-sleeping - pretty much a no-go, especially if it's more than a rare exception (that one is hard to imagine virtually, anyway ;))

Virtual co-sleeping: When you go to sleep, keep video chat on and move the computer to your bed, so you can fall asleep "together" and watch each other sleeping when one of you wakes up. I used to do it when in an LDR. But I guess you'd find it too creepy. :P

[gypsy_princess]

i've never experienced these things, but... imagining...

• holding hands TOO MUSHY, TOO MUCH SWEAT, TOO MUCH CONTACT, NOOOO
• hugs ACCEPTABLE, BUT DON'T CRUSH ME AND DON'T HUG FOR MORE THAN 3 SECONDS
• cuddling with clothes on NO
• cuddling with clothes off NO
• caressing NOOO
• massages NOOOOOOO
• kissing the body EW
• kissing the mouth DOUBLE EW
• kissing the face TRIPLE EW
• belly rubs HANDS OFF MY BELLY, I PREFER A HOT-WATER BOTTLE
• playing with hair NOO MY POOR HAIR IT'S ALREADY BEEN TORTURED TOO MUCH
• touching bare skin NO PLEASE
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact DON'T DARE WATCH ME
• synced breathing WHAT?
• co-sleeping COULD NOT HAPPEN, I'M ALWAYS AWAKE
• dance I DON'T DANCE

i'm really boring. but i hate physical contact

[Philip027]

Try to answer imagining that there is never any pressure or chance of sensual touch turning into sex, ever.

If this is the case then I'd probably be ok with just about anything you mentioned. I'm not big on kisses, though, especially the sloppy variety.

[Arctangent]

I thought of a couple more for myself:

• nuzzling: yes, I think it can feel really sweet, and I'll do it almost involuntarily sometimes.
• tickling: yes, I enjoy being tickled on occasion (provided the other person doesn't overdo it).

How comfortable do you feel about your friends/partner(s) seeing you naked in general?

It depends on the general level of closeness and comfort in the relationship, as well as the other person's views on nudity. I typically would rather avoid being nude in front of other people, but I'm okay with it in the context of a very close friendship. I'm not categorically against being partially unclothed during sensual contact either, although it's not something I've ever done. I think it could potentially be very nice, actually.

[Grumpy Alien]

Moderately sensual, I think. I'm not very touchy feely, although I'm not opposed to it. I haven't actually experienced any of these things, so I don't know how I feel about them with someone I care about.

I do think I'd hate co-sleeping. That's just... Get out of my bed.

[Guest]

• co-sleeping - pretty much a no-go, especially if it's more than a rare exception (that one is hard to imagine virtually, anyway ;))

Virtual co-sleeping: When you go to sleep, keep video chat on and move the computer to your bed, so you can fall asleep "together" and watch each other sleeping when one of you wakes up. I used to do it when in an LDR. But I guess you'd find it too creepy. :P

I have accidentally fallen asleep with webcam still going, that is what happens when you talk all night. So it kinda counts as virtual co-sleeping :lol:

[Guest]

How comfortable do you feel about your friends/partner(s) seeing you naked in general?

Partners/sensual friends, up to topless; purely platonic friends, fully clothed only. The only people I'm semi-comfy with seeing me fully naked will be doctors and other medical staff (and it's more "surrender to necessity" even in that case -_- ), and possibly a mortician one day. Seriously, I hate being naked even when I'm alone... the only time I'm starkers is when I'm under the shower - five minutes later, I'm always back into underwear at the very least.

Virtual co-sleeping: When you go to sleep, keep video chat on and move the computer to your bed, so you can fall asleep "together" and watch each other sleeping when one of you wakes up. I used to do it when in an LDR. But I guess you'd find it too creepy. :P

Yeah, that seems a tad creepy... and a waste of electricity. :lol:

[passionatefriend61]

Tickling is a huge no, for me. I've always hated it!

Nuzzling is cute.

As for nudity, I'm willing to explore it, but I don't think I want to ever be completely naked in front of anyone. It is important to me that desexualize nudity and my own naked body as much as I can, in my head and in practice. In that spirit, I think it'd feel pretty cool to be so comfortable with an intimate partner/friend or more than one, that I could walk around topless in front of them or cuddling topless with them.

[Guest]

I thought of a couple more for myself:

• nuzzling: yes, I think it can feel really sweet, and I'll do it almost involuntarily sometimes.
• tickling: yes, I enjoy being tickled on occasion (provided the other person doesn't overdo it).

Ohmahgawd tickling. Yes, it's mine. I'm extremely ticklish but I still get a lot of (probably masochistic :P) pleasure from it, it just feel nice, fun, and heart-warming. My previous partner knew that I didn't want sex, and they used to say that tickling was "our way of having sex". I agreed on that completely. :lol:

Nuzzling is another yes, of course. Given I'd be open to anything in the previous list, that comes natural.

As far as nudity goes, I'm fine with it amongst people of my own sex if it serves a purpose (e.g. in locker rooms), otherwise I wouldn't want to get/be naked in front of anyone other than a romantic partner. I feel weird even then, but I guess I could grow accustomed to it over time. It's not that big a deal.

[words are futile devices]

In your intimate relationships, whether they're romantic or nonromantic, whether they're traditional couple relationships or romantic friendships or queerplatonic relationships, whether they're closed or open, how much sensual touching do you want ideally?

Try to answer imagining that there is never any pressure or chance of sensual touch turning into sex, ever.

Sensual touching includes but is not limited to the following:

• holding hands
• hugs
• cuddling with clothes on (I really, really hate cuddling... am I alone in that?)
• cuddling with clothes off
• caressing
• massages (foot/shoulder massages, maybe?)
• kissing the body
• kissing the mouth (possibly...I'd have to really like the guy, and yeah, no tongue)
• kissing the face (forehead kisses are nice)
• belly rubs
• playing with hair (I love when people play with my hair)
• touching bare skin
• deliberate/prolonged eye contact
• synced breathing
• co-sleeping (if we were married)
• dance

Do you think that you'd feel more confident being sensual with another ace, versus a sexual person? Do you think that your comfort level with sensual touch is influenced by the expectation of sex that sexual society inserts into sensual touching? Is sensual touching specifically romantic to you or can it happen in any emotionally intimate relationship?

I can imagine I would definitely feel more confident and comfortable being sensual with another ace. As far as I know, I have no other asexual friends/acquaintances in my life, and I've only been sensual with sexuals... and it has always been awkward and not at all enjoyable for me. Maybe some day I'll meet a fellow ace. Here's to dreaming at least. :) Also, sensual touching is pretty much specifically romantic to me. I think the only act on that list I'd do with a non-romantic friend is hugging.

[Arctangent]

Ohmahgawd tickling. Yes, it's mine. I'm extremely ticklish but I still get a lot of (probably masochistic :P) pleasure from it, it just feel nice, fun, and heart-warming. My previous partner knew that I didn't want sex, and they used to say that tickling was "our way of having sex". I agreed on that completely. :lol:

Yeah, I know not everyone's a fan, but I've always enjoyed the occasional tickle. I'm kind of particular about it - I get irritated if someone tickles me when I'm not in the mood. If I'm cuddling with someone and they throw in a little tickle, though, I generally enjoy that. I'm really touch-sensitive, so it doesn't take much. :P

I can understand the masochistic angle of it, too. I like the idea of being tickled into submission. It's been a long time since I've been tickled until it hurt, but that combination of euphoria and pain from laughter is something I oddly enjoy. Considering it would make sense to establish a safeword to do that, I guess it counts as a nonsexual kink, which is kind of funny considering how innocent it seems. :lol:

[ratonhnhaké:ton]

I'd be open to all of them if there was no pressure or chance of it leading to sex. The options that really appeal to me are playing with hair, hugs, cuddling, caressing, massages, and dancing. The problem, though, is that sometimes I don't like being touched for long periods of time. I'm not repulsed or anything...it's a sort of a personal space thing, I suppose. I prefer to touch rather than being touched.

[Tenebre]

I thought of a couple more for myself:

• nuzzling: yes, I think it can feel really sweet, and I'll do it almost involuntarily sometimes.
• tickling: yes, I enjoy being tickled on occasion (provided the other person doesn't overdo it).

Nuzzling: Yes, definitely. I quite enjoy it although I might limit it to closer friends

Tickling: ...Maybe. Serious tickling is definitely out. I'm extremely ticklish and usually hate it but if done lightly and not for long periods of time I'll let people close to me do it.

[Guest]

Yeah, I know not everyone's a fan, but I've always enjoyed the occasional tickle. I'm kind of particular about it - I get irritated if someone tickles me when I'm not in the mood. If I'm cuddling with someone and they throw in a little tickle, though, I generally enjoy that. I'm really touch-sensitive, so it doesn't take much. :P

I can understand the masochistic angle of it, too. I like the idea of being tickled into submission. It's been a long time since I've been tickled until it hurt, but that combination of euphoria and pain from laughter is something I oddly enjoy. Considering it would make sense to establish a safeword to do that, I guess it counts as a nonsexual kink, which is kind of funny considering how innocent it seems. :lol:

I'm in "not in the mood" mode for everyone other than a romantic partner as far as tickling goes, actually. Mostly because I'm not very prone to touch with friends, and that includes tickling. I only enjoyed being tickled in a romantic context. It never did go as far as hurting me, though... it just exhausted me because we'd have tickle fights and walk around or move on the sofa/bed wildly (to the point we had to be careful we weren't randomly hitting stuff), and all of my energies would be completely drawn out afterwards. :lol:

Friends and acquaintances alike have tried tickling me, but it was generally annoying. I'm extremely sensitive on most zones of my body and I really don't like solicitation. There was this one time last winter when a person from my uni ambushed me and tickled me lightly from behind once... I literally jumped up three staircase steps in a split second then.

[The Hollow of Morning]

I think I would enjoy doing most of these things- holding hands, hugs, cuddling with clothes on and kissing the body sound the most appealing to me.

The only options I think that I would be uncomfortable with are prolonged eye contact(I struggle with eye contact at the best of times anyway!) and co-sleeping.

[Touchofinsight]

• I don't really have any mandatory elements for my level of sensual contact although I am a very physical person but never the less here we go. I find I can adapt to my partner's needs rather easily as most of these activities can fulfill the same or similar roles.

• holding hands - Sure (not for long extended periods of time though), it gets annoying at timeS)

hugs - Sure

cuddling with clothes on - sure

cuddling with clothes off - Sure, its pretty enjoyable

caressing - Yea, I love giving sensual massages even to platonic friends/

massages - Yep

kissing the body - Sure, kinda silly to me but sweet little display of affection.

kissing the mouth - Not a big fan, and tongue is usually a no. Small kisses here and there are cool.

kissing the face - Sure

belly rubs - don't mind either way.

playing with hair - I don't have enough to be played with.

touching bare skin - Yes please, (i have sensitive skin to the touch).

deliberate/prolonged eye contact - Only for so long...

synced breathing - don't see the point.

co-sleeping - As long as it isn't EVERY night. I like my space too.

dance - No thanks, I really don't enjoy dancing.

[The Sage Nabooru]

Not at all. No sensuality whatsoever.