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'coming out' as asexual?! heheheh no.


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girltwink666

So I guess I will call my self an asexual now! I am actually really liking this label. I feel comfortable calling myself asexual- comfortable enough to start writing a musical about the subject!

Problem is, my family and my friends don't know this about me. Sure, they know that I hate thinking about sex stuff (especially when I get super uncomfortable during Healthy Choices in biology class lol). But I'm not even sure that any of them (besides the Sherlock fans) know what asexuality is!! SO like, how would I even begin to explain this to them? I can't really write a whole musical about asexual people without people asking me if I am asexual myself! Also I'm sick of my parents asking me if I like a girl whenever I mention one of my female friends.

I guess all I'm asking is have you ever told anyone besides us forum people that you are asexual; how did they react; and what am I supposed to do if they say they've never heard of it???

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Well, some people are more open-minded than others, and reactions will depend on how open-minded they are. The first person I told I was ace responded really well to it, but my mom did not take it so well.

I would recommend referring people to AVEN if they have any huge questions or anything like that.

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Many people usually suggest showing friends/family AVEN, or printed material from here.

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1/100 of me

Hi topit and welcome to AVEN. It's natural to be a little nervous about coming out. Not a lot of people know about asexuality so it's likely that your friends and family will have some questions. Try to explain as best you can and direct them to this website or the AVEN Wikipedia page if you think it would help. Even so, it's possible some people still won't understand but if you are comfortable with who you are, hopefully others will be too. And you never know, people you thought wouldn't take it so well might be totally cool with it; people can sometimes surprise you. Best of luck with coming out and with your musical. :)

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Rochnariel

I feel like I cheated when I read others stories about telling people. I told my best friend first, since well I tell her everything first; she's basically a platonic life partner as we have life long plans together. Her reaction was basically "yes, and? Wait you didn't know this about yourself until recently?" Pretty much everyone I have told has had a similar reaction with very degrees of me needing to explain things. I haven't told my family, but as much as I love and depend on them, we're not really the sharing feelings kind of family. Pretty sure my dad and stepmom would have the same reaction, and my brother would just be confused for awhile.

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MissUnderstood

I've always told people I don't want sex and that I'm disgusted by it but they just told me I was immature and that I was going to have sex eventually. Now that I've realised that I'm asexual I've been too scared to tell anyone. So I hope it goes well for you. I think people will have different reactions and you have to be prepared for them

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At first, I just told my best friend I thought I was asexual, and I had to explain it to her a little, but that's it. Then when I told my mom, she said what you might expect: "It's only a phase." "You have to have it first to know you don't want it." That was okay with me at first, but it also kind of annoyed me how she just waved it off like it was stupid. But then she amazed me by doing some research, asking me some questions, and saying it was fine that I was asexual!

Now, the people you tell may not be so easy to explain to. I certainly recommend what others have on here and direct those you decide to tell here if they get really confused. Then if they doubt it exists and think its a phase, they'll see how many adults are asexual, which may help open their minds more.

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girltwink666

Hey, thanks for all your counseling on the issue. My parents have suddenly started bugging me about all sorts of things and so I guess I'll try and explain this to them, if not only to make them stop. For example. We were watching Juno on TV. "Don't you go around doing stuff like that!" We went to a wedding, and the couple had known each other since middle school. "When are youuu gonna get a girlfriend?!?!?" I don't know, I'm tired of them just saying this stuff around me so I guess they would stop if I explained to them. I doubt they would say this because my parents are very supportive but I still have counterarguments prepared for the obligatory "why don't you decide this after you try it (when you are 18)??" No mom it's about attraction duh. I don't feel sexually attracted to people lol. I hope they'll understand. And if not I'll definitely poiint them to this website because it is very helpful. It taught me a lot of information as well.

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